Work Text:
„No. That isn’t happening, Noctis.“
„But Iggy! Please?“
Ignis would love to say that out of all Noctis‘ ideas this one wasn’t the most ridiculous and inappropriate. Oh yes, he would like to say that the one before – which involved raven’s success in talking Prompto into cosplaying him while Prince ventured for some kind of fishing competition in Vesperpool („Don’t worry, Prom. One Vesper Gar and I’ll be back.“ Turned into mortal struggle between man and countless fishes) and oops! Accidentally just in time of official audiences of Niflheim and Accordo (Luckily, Ignis was always there to save sorry asses of younger men) – was the craziest one.
But no.
Noctis never failed to come up with some next level experience for the Strategist’s poor heart, trying how far his luck can go. He called these ideas innovative. Ignis ? Dangerous.
Like now.
At first Advisor thought he heard it all wrong. That Noctis wouldn’t propose such a thing – that it would be too much even for him. But then Raven repeated the question.
“How about we… try it on the Throne?”
Was he really proposing… that?!
“Iggy, c’mon. I’ll lock the doors.”
“And how should that calm me down?”
“No one will see us!”
Ignis sighed deeply, fixing his glasses. Okay, he would almost, almost admit that Noctis was right about this little thing (‘The fact that there wouldn’t be audience, not the – ugh – Throne Sex.’) but then again he remembered the vision of Prophecy Pryna showed him back then in Altissia.
It might have involved the souls of Kings lost gone surrounding the Throne – and Ignis was sure his memory hadn’t fail him.
Oh. Hell. No.
Even If that (stupid and absolutely horrendous) idea sounded maybe a bit tempting – he wouldn’t make show for the whole line of Lucis. He could almost feel Regis’ judging eyes on him, words “This wasn’t what I meant by taking care of my son” resonating in his head too clearly, sounding too real.
Well. Noctis will need to live even without this.
“I’ll repeat myself. There is no way I would do that, Noct. And now, if you excuse me, I have other things that need my attention.” He turned around, leaving pouting raven behind. The heavy doors of Throne room opened, Ignis giving one last glance to King. “And you should find some things to occupy yourself too. I trust there is plenty of them, Your Majesty.”
Not that Ignis expected Noctis to just give up so easily. Without a fight But he at least hoped that dark haired man wouldn’t be so… obvious about it whole.
…
Okay. He had to give other credit – at first he tried to.
It started with dirty talk. Simple, right?
Or … something that was supposed to be one. Unfortunately, Noctis was embodiment of the word awkward in this. It was exactly that kind of sexy you would find in bad romance books Gladio loved to read. ‘Tongues battling for dominance’ type and so.
Obviously it didn’t work on Specks.
Raven changed the strategy then. At first it was just one button of his shirt, right under the neck. Loosened to show enough of skin, tempting Ignis. When it didn’t work, suddenly one button became three, Noctis showing off his chest to whole Citadel. (Well, Ignis couldn’t complain, raven haired man was quite a nice sight – he knew the best – but on the other hand Strategist was strong man, not one to give up easily. And on the top of everything, he found the situation very amusing – somehow curious about what will happen next.) This attempt was ruined by Gladio and his usual remarks and teasing about Noctis’ figure. Poor man buttoned up his shirt in the record time, his ears red from embarrassment.
It seemed like it would be the end of the whole deal.
Never underestimate Noctis Lucis Caelum.
* * *
After few more tries, Ignis could tell that Noctis was, indeed, desperate. He resorted to eating vegetables.
Well.
Sensually.
If that was the word for whatever he did with that carrot right now.
Ignis… didn’t know how to react – whether to laugh or cry (he felt far from aroused) – when he noticed it, but he was sure Prompto next to Prince was very close to second option, eyeing his plate with complete distaste.
Ignis sighed.
Yes, he was strong man – as mentioned before – but even strongest man sometimes has to sacrifice their resolutions. For the greater good.
(And to be honest, he found it all a bit…. Endearing. That Noctis was trying so hard.)
‘Oh for the Six’ sake…’
After few more incidents like this, literally everyone involved begged Ignis to give Noctis whatever he wanted because they couldn’t deal with his – to cite certain Shield of the Prince – “hormones running wild” and “acting like horny teenager”.
So…. In the end he agreed to that stupid idea. Oh and you all should see that smug smirk as Noctis’ locked the great doors of the throne room and even wider grin as Ignis pulled him to his lap – both of them trying to fit into small throne.
“I’m irresistible, huh ?” He chuckled. Ignis tried hard to not roll his eyes.
"I'll be embarrassed to step into Afterlife thanks to you and face your father."
"Nah, we have a plenty of time to come up with excuse."
“Sometimes I think I should leave you for Ardyn.”
Noctis laughed and shook his head, pulling him closer – just to steal one small kiss of many that would come. “Yep, I know you love me, Specks.”
Ignis put away his glasses rubbing his eyes, looking into two blue shining gems in front of him. He smiled weakly.
Noctis was right.
But he couldn’t help himself to tease a Prince only a bit more.
“So much that sometimes I don’t know whether to kiss you or strangle you for these ideas of yours.”
Well, he certainly didn’t expect Noct to answer with:
“How about both?”
Ignis sighed deeply, pulling man closer, burying his head into crook of other’s neck.
“You are irredeemable.“
"Right, right..."
This man will be end of him once.
FIN.