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It had been three months since the Battle of Crait, and three months since Rey had been able to have a full night’s sleep. She’d thought that shutting the door on their Force Bond would have fixed things, would have made Kylo reconsider his stance and finally join the Light like she had seen in her vision. Instead it had made Kylo use their unique connection more than ever, hounding her mind with increasing voracity. First desperate pleas, which Rey withstood, but then his pleading had turned to into three words: “You are mine.”
Those three little words had broken any resolve she still had, knowing that she could fight him until she died, but that at the heart of the matter those words were true. She was his, just as he was hers and nothing in the galaxy could change that. The Force had wished it, had created their bond after all, had it not? Though once she had admitted it, had let Kylo sense that she was his she thought his constant entries into her mind would stop, Kylo finally happy that he had her in some small way.
Rey had been wrong.
Instead the flashes of him grew more and more intense, Kylo assaulting her every sense as he constantly reminded her that she was his, and no one else’s. Every time she merely talked to someone else she would feel the sharp pang of jealously, his displeasure all too evident. In her dreams he asked her again and again why she wasn’t by his side as she should be. Why she wasn’t his Queen yet, helping to rule his new order. He would often touch her, kiss her, lips branding themselves on her skin even from across the galaxy. His hands had become insistent, probing, and Rey had let him. Her own explorations of his body had culminated in the consummation of their...bond? Inescapable fate? He’d been gentle, and it had been the first time Rey had seen his fingers trembling slightly. He’d been as nervous as her, the newfound possessiveness all but forgotten for those brief moments when the two became as one through the Force. They’d been on opposite sides of the galaxy but in that moment they had been as close as two souls could get. The times following Kylo had returned to his former self: dominant, possessive, and always reminding her that she was his.
Rey always chuckled as she dryly considered that if the Force could talk it would be horrified at what they’d done, scolding them for not using the bond for its intended purpose. Though what was its purpose? If its purpose had been to bring them together it had worked, but she always figured the bond have gone away once whatever they needed to do had been fulfilled, so obviously there was still something missing.
The rest of the Resistance had all noticed that something had changed within Rey since the battle, though none of them had been able to figure out why. She knew they’d be horrified at the very least if they found out about her bond with Kylo, and worst case they would brand her a traitor and cast her out. Well, she hoped that was the worst case. She didn’t think Leia or Finn would try to kill her, but considering she was so intrinsically tied to their greatest enemy she wasn’t going to bet on her life. But thankfully they were all still in the dark, and all they’d seen was how she traipsed around their new base distractedly; mind never quite able to focus on one thing. She’d become withdrawn, knowing how Kylo would react should she make the mistake of talking to another man.
So a week later Leia had decided to take Rey to a planet so green it had made Takodana look like a desert. She’d only half heard the planet’s name, Naboo, not realising its importance. She’d been too busy marvelling at the luscious green forests and the lakes and the huge domed houses that were dotted around the shores of the lake where they were staying. Rey’s bedroom was more luxurious than anything she’d ever seen, and she couldn’t believe it when Leia had given her the most amazing pale yellow and pink silk gown to wear. But even surrounded by all this beauty nothing could calm Rey’s nerves. Ever since Leia had told her they were going away for a while Kylo had been suspiciously silent. It had been two days now since she’d felt him through the bond, and it was putting Rey on edge. Usually Kylo couldn’t go an hour without contacting her through the Force.
Though several hours later, as Rey was standing on the veranda, hands clasping the waist high wall as she gazed out over the lake she felt the familiar presence within the Force. Kylo appeared next to her, seemingly also gazing out at the smooth water, despite Rey knowing he couldn’t see anything but her. There were several long moments of silence, before Kylo looked at her and took in what she was wearing. His face changed into an angry scowl as Rey saw some kind of recognition on his features. “Why are you wearing that dress?” he demanded.
Rey was so surprised at this sudden outburst she was silent for several moments before a confused “What?” slipped from her mouth.
“That dress where did you get it? Where are you?”
“Kylo you’re not—”
“Where are you?” each word was spoken with deliberate emphasis, Kylo’s eyes burning into hers.
Rey was silent again, trying to remember the name Leia told her, but she’d been too busy not listening. “I don’t remember. I think.....it’s uh green and—” her voice trailed off as Kylo’s face changed again. He didn’t look angry anymore, just...lost, disbelieving.
“She took you there.” His voice was equally lost as his face, and his eyes were now soft, no trace of the previous anger in them. He turned his head, seemingly looking out at the rolling hills as if he knew the landscape off by heart.
Rey took his hand, but she was feeling so confused at this sudden change in behaviour she wasn’t sure what to do. “Kylo,” the sound of his name caused him to look at her. “What is this all about?”
“Didn’t she tell you whose dress that belonged to?” Rey shook her head, suddenly feeling very small under the piercing gaze of his eyes. He gestured to the landscape around her, “This world, Naboo,” Rey cursed herself in annoyance at forgetting such a simple name “is my grandmother’s home planet. The dress was hers, and I’m going to guess you’re in her retreat too.”
Rey’s eyes widened in shock, the calmness with which he spoke the opposite of the stormy waves she was feeling through the Force. The dress, which had felt like being draped in sunshine before suddenly felt far too tight, the collar digging into her neck. This all felt wrong—“She was Queen of this whole planet for eight years. Yet you could be Queen of the whole galaxy. You could be my Queen, yet you still refuse. Why?”
“You know why.”
Kylo smiled predatorily. “Ah yes....your little vision of me turning to the Light. It’s sweet that you still think that’s going to come true. Yet I know that one day you will be at my side, my Queen. And why is that?” Rey felt even smaller as the question lingered in the air. “Why is that?” he repeated, and Rey felt the words fall out of her mouth without even realising she was speaking.
“Because I’m yours.”
His smile widened “That’s right. You’re mine, and that means that eventually you will give in to me.”
Once again Rey’s lips moved before she could stop them “I will.” The statement made Kylo smile, a genuine and warm smile given what she had just promised him. There was still that hint of predator within it, and Rey knew better than to let her guard down as he reached out to trace his fingers along the intricate plaits that adorned her head.
“You are so beautiful Rey. The Force was truly kind to me when it created you.” Rey could only stare into his eyes, trapped by the invisible Force that bound them together. She knew that the bond was supposed to make them equals, to bring balance to the Force, neither dark nor light but she knew none of that was true. Kylo was as dark as ever, hungrily passionate, his emotions always a stormy front that she was only just able to withstand. And she, she still considered herself of the light, fighting for good against the evil First Order. But then there was the hold Kylo had over her, an inexplicable thing that meant she could not help but bow to every single one of his whims. He could tell her to wipe out the Resistance and she would do it without question. The guilt and anger at what she’d done would come afterwards, but if he were to give the order...
And yet he hadn’t. In fact he hadn’t asked her to do anything particularly morally reprehensible, and that made Rey wonder if he didn’t know just how much power he had over her. Part of her was scared of the day he did find out, and the other part couldn’t wait, because she desperately wanted to prove to him once and for all that she was his. She wanted to prove that she could stand by his side, his Queen, ready to execute his every command. “I don’t want obedience.” Rey gasped slightly in shock. The Force bond didn’t allow them to hear each other’s thoughts but he’d just read every single thought in her mind as if it were written on her forehead. Kylo noted her confusion and began to explain. “I can see it in your eyes, the same meek subservience I see in the pitiful officers that think they wield power. I do not want that from you. You are mine, forever and always and I will kill whomever I need to in order to ensure you stay that way, but you are not....my slave.” His voice trailed off slightly, eyes burning holes into her soul. Rey instantly accepted his words, his voice hypnotically soothing. It caused her brain to start waking up, reverting back to the fierce soul she’d been before she’d shut the door on their bond. She should never have done that, she realised. She should have given in to this thing they shared a long time ago. His voice once again stirred her from her thoughts, “I know you would do anything I asked you to do, but I don’t want a mindless drone, I want you, Rey, my Queen, the woman that stands and fights beside me and makes me stronger than anything else in the galaxy. I love you, and so I am going to ask you once again to join me. Now get some rest, that’s an order. You always look far too tired.” Kylo’s confession of love completely blindsided Rey, and she was about to open her mouth but Kylo had already disappeared, his faint scent the only sign he had been standing next to her moments before.
He loved her.
Rey felt like it should change everything, but it didn’t in the slightest. Kylo was still Kylo, and she knew she would still do everything he asked her. And he’d just asked her to join him. She could feel the tugging through the Force, the invisible strings that wanted to pull her to Kylo’s side. Resisting him made her feel like a leaf trying not to fall down a waterfall, and she quickly realised that it was in fact pointless to resist any longer. Her time with the Resistance had come to an end. Maybe Leia had sensed it, sensed that Rey’s mind was a million miles away, and had brought her to Naboo so she could abscond without the disdainful eyes of the Resistance looking down on her.
But still that little niggle of doubt buried itself in the back of her skull, wriggling and squirming and insuring she could never quite forget about it. She felt so torn, duty bound to the two opposite sides that were clamouring for her allegiance. She knew she wanted to run into Kylo’s arms, but she didn’t want to leave the Resistance floundering against an enemy like the First Order. She didn’t want to leave the only friends she’d ever been able to make.
That night as she lay in the bed that was far too opulent for her, the air that should be warm and comfortable too cold for someone used to dry desert heat. She tossed and turned in the thin nightgown, sleep an annoyingly elusive beast.
But when she did finally slip into the inky blackness she found herself in one of the richly decorated sitting rooms that were so artfully placed around the retreat, staring at the two figures sitting on a rich red coloured sofa. The woman’s dress was black, strapless with a glittering necklace the length of the dress. Rey recognised it from the dresses in the wardrobe and then realised who these two people were: Kylo’s grandparents.
It seemed strange that someone like Kylo even had grandparents, and it was even stranger that the slightly nervous young man who didn’t look older than her would have one day become the terrifying Darth Vader. Kylo had never told Rey what his name had been before he’d turned to the dark side, but he didn’t look evil. But then again Kylo didn’t look evil either, and the darkness was as strong as ever within him.
Though from somewhere in the back of her mind two names suddenly came into focus: Anakin and Padmé. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but she did, so instead she turned her attention to the way he was looking at Padmé, the intense stare that reminded her so much of how Kylo would gaze into her eyes.
“From the moment I met you,” Kylo’s voice came from Anakin’s lips, Rey once again feeling utterly confused as to what was going on. But by now she knew the Force worked in utterly bizarre ways so she merely stood and watched the scene unfold. “all those years ago. Not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you.” Padmé’s gaze was steady and strong, but Rey could feel the same apprehension and knowing that this was right for all the wrong reasons. Kylo’s voice rang out again, “And now that I’m with you again I’m in agony. The closer I get to you the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you...I can’t breathe.” His face was so full of longing and pain and adoration and it was a face she’d seen on Kylo so many times. “I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me.” He leaned in towards her; Rey could tell Padmé’s resolve was slipping. “My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything that you ask.” Anakin’s face was screwed up, the emotions all too clear to see. “If you are suffering as much as I am then please tell me.”
Rey’s own voice escaped from Padmé’s lips, a feint whisper. “I can’t. We can’t. It’s....just not possible.”
Anakin drew in closer to her, his gaze so intense Rey was surprised Padmé could still bear to look back into his eyes. “Anything is possible Rey, listen to me.”
But then Padmé stood up, an angry tone in her voice. “No you listen!” Rey can sense that black dress was suddenly too tight, constricting around her throat as Padmé was compelled to stand by the far too hot fire. She looked back at Anakin sitting pleadingly on the sofa “We live in a real world. Come back to it. You’re starting to become a Jedi, and I’m...I’m a senator. If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion it’ll take us to a place we cannot go. Regardless of the way we feel about each other.”
A wave of triumph washed across Anakin’s face. “Then you do feel something.” But Padmé was stony faced, a certainty in a scene of uncertainness.
“I will not let you give up your future for me.” She was so resolute, and Rey wished she could be a strong and stubbornly certain as Padmé was.
Anakin got up, Rey drowning in the emotions she felt from him in the Force. “You’re asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do. I wish I could just wish away my feelings....but I can’t.”
“I will not give into this.” Anakin turned to walk out, and Rey could sense that Padmé wanted nothing more than to give in but somehow her resolve stayed.
He turned to face her again, but Padmé still stayed strong. “Well you know it wouldn’t have to be that way. We could keep it a secret.”
Padmé felt almost astounded at such an idiotic idea, and Rey sympathised. Keeping something like this secret was...monumental and stupid to say the least. “Then we’d be living a lie. One we couldn’t keep even if we wanted to. I couldn’t do that. Could you Anakin, could you live like that?”
A flicker of sadness across Anakin’s face. “No. You’re right. It would destroy us.” A final intense stare before Rey became acutely aware of the arms now wrapped around her torso. She felt Kylo’s hair brush against hers, the scene before them now frozen, the long since lived memory of these two star crossed lovers becoming just that, a memory plucked from the Force.
“Kylo.....” Padmé’s words, the words that had been spoken in her voice echoed inside Rey, the calmness with which Padmé rejected Anakin. Rey disentangled herself from Kylo, turning to face him. Her lips trembled slightly as she spoke. “Padmé was right....we’re living a lie, and it’s a life I cannot lead. I cannot lie any longer.”
Kylo’s face fell, voice soft and pleading. “Don’t do this Rey, not again. I showed you this so you could see that we don’t have to be like them, that we are not bound by such petty labels like Jedi or senator. I rule the galaxy, and if I choose to want you by my side then there is not a soul that can stop you from saying yes.”
“I do Kylo; I want to be by your side more than anything but I am the last hurdle that I cannot seem to get over.”
He took her hands, the familiar spark of their bond flickering as skin touched skin. “You don’t want to betray your friends.” Rey nodded, “Leia knows you’re not betraying them by leaving. She wouldn’t have brought you to Naboo if she thought you were. Join me. Please.” That last word shattered everything inside Rey. The pleading tone of his voice affected her more than his confession of love the day before. Perhaps it was because deep down Rey had always known he loved her, but that this innate need to have her near him was new and dangerous and exciting. Rey nodded once, and Kylo bowed his head before vanishing. The room and the figures of Anakin and Padmé vanished too, and Rey fell back into the inky blackness of dreamless sleep.
She had already dressed before Leia had risen, donning a mustard coloured dress that had intricate paisley patterns embroidered all over it, a thick full-shouldered pauldron made from the same material and loose, puffy sleeves that ended in tight cuffs. She’d found it in the wardrobe where all of Padmé’s other dresses were kept, somehow knowing that Leia wouldn’t be angry. There was a metal headdress that went with the gown, as well as a lace veil, but Rey felt they were overkill considering what she was about to do.
She felt the Force guide her to an ancient hangar that contained a sleek silver ship. Rey boarded it, feeling her legs and arms move of their own accord as she sat down in the pilot’s chair and began to power up the ship. The pull of the Force was strong now; an insistent itch that only got subsided the nearer she travelled to Kylo.
She was drawn to a planet in the middle of uncharted space, a planet she didn’t know the name or topography of, but a planet she knew had Kylo on it and was therefore the only place in the galaxy she wanted to be.
When she finally landed on the eerily silent planet, the small landing pad and smattering of buildings the only visible signs of civilisation Rey spent a moment contemplating the precipice upon which she sat. Her actions had the potential to change the course of the whole galaxy, but the invisible strings had led her here, so she breathed in deeply and walked down the landing ramp.
He was stood there, dark and imposing, the cloak billowing around him in the fierce wind. The darkness within him was mirrored in the stormy black sky, and it felt like the planet had been created for Kylo: dark, remote, devoid of useless things. Rey felt compelled to kneel before him, a difficult feat in the dress, her head bowed meekly. “Good,” he whispered in a low tone. “You’ve learned to follow orders.” The pleading had vanished from his voice, and only commands were left.
“I thought you didn’t want a slave.” Rey answered tentatively.
“I’ve said a lot of things. No, I may not want a slave but I know you would do anything for me, isn’t that right?” Rey nodded; a minute movement that Kylo picked up on all too clearly. She knew that he had finally realised the extent of the power he held over her, and that he was going to use that power in whichever way he wanted to. She felt excited, nervous as this new prospect, not knowing what he was going to ask her to do, but knowing that she would do it without question. He spoke again, his words burying themselves into her subconscious. “I want to give you a little challenge, see how far you’re willing to go. I want you to get back onto the ship, I want you to travel back to Naboo and I want you to kill my mother. Do you understand?”
Rey hesitated for a heartbeat before she replied. “Yes master.”