Chapter Text
For the first time in three hours, a calm silence had fallen over your apartment.
The fraying copy of “Goodnight Moon” that Henry had picked out was long forgotten as his blue eyes finally gave into the sleep that he had been fighting for so long.
Reveling in your ability to lull the rambunctious toddler to sleep, you placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before carefully removing yourself from the guest bed where he lay — all the while making a mental note to give JJ kudos on how she manages to do it every single night.
Leaving the bedroom door open just a crack, you took a moment to enjoy the still of the atmosphere and out of habit, placed a hand on your ever-growing baby bump.
All night long you had found yourself laughing right along with every little giggle that Henry exuded, and adoring the many colorful drawings that he had created for your refrigerator door. The seemingly permanent smile you wore was in part due to the inherent joy that came with babysitting Henry, and the other half due to the thought that one day, you would be going through the exact same motions with your own child.
But yet, with every bright vision of the future you had, came with it a storm of anxious thoughts.
Seven months ago, the home you had built within the bounds of Spencer’s love began to crumble.
With his rising panic of developing schizophrenia and then the grief he was overcome with after the death of Emily, you watched in agony as Spencer did his best to conceal the crumbling state of his mind from you. It wasn’t until one night, when the demons of his mind became too much to bear, that he confessed to you his contemplation of relapsing. That night ended in heartache, as Spencer’s broken voice ended your relationship, only wanting to protect you from the danger he believed to potentially possess.
But unbeknownst to either you or Spencer at the time, you were not the only ones left in the wake of your fallen love.
Close to two months had passed before you could no longer dismiss your bouts of heartburn and missed period as signs of stress. Three at home pregnancy tests later and you were left with positive signs and a growing pit in your stomach. It almost seemed to be a miracle when JJ stopped by your apartment on that exact night.
Being one of Spencer’s closest friends meant that the two of you had grown exceptionally close during the course of your relationship, so it was no surprise when she stopped by to see how well you were faring.
After listening to you pour your heart out and wiping away the occasional stray tear, JJ made a promise to stay supportive of you, just as long as you didn’t leave Spencer in the dark about his unborn child.
“He deserves to hear it from you. He would want to hear it from you.” she reiterated to you just hours earlier as she and Will dropped Henry off at your apartment. The two of them had been yearning for a date night, so you volunteered to watch Henry, saying that it would give you a little insight into the world you would be stepping into — even if it would take a while before your little one reached Henry’s stage of activity.
“Maybe the perfect chance will come up soon,” she quipped before leaving, smiling as if aware of something you weren’t.
Three sharp knocks rapping against your front door broke the previous quiet of both your home and your mind.
Careful not to trip over the crayons that Henry had left splayed across your living room floor, you made your way towards the entrance as quick as your feet would allow.
Assuming it to be JJ coming to pick up her little boy, a lump formed in your throat at the much taller and messy haired man that stood on the other side of the door.
The meek smile that Spencer adorned once locking eyes with you fell quickly as his sight was immediately drawn to the swell of your stomach.
“Spencer,” you choked out, “What are you doing here?”
“JJ asked me to pick up Henry,” his voice monotonous as it hit your ears for the first time in months, “She said you wanted to talk to me.”
With a weak nod, you opened your door even wider for Spencer to enter out of the hallway, the smug grin that JJ flashed earlier making sense now.
“Did you know before I broke up with you?” the question left Spencer’s mouth in a gruff tone, taking you by surprise even though it shouldn’t have. It wouldn’t take a certified genius to do the math and realize it was his.
“No,” you answered earnestly, “I didn’t even know until two months after.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?” his voice began to rise with anger, “Did you plan on just not telling me at all?”
“Can you please not be so loud?” you hissed, remembering that Henry was asleep just feet away. Grabbing ahold of Spencer’s arm, you dragged him into the kitchen, knowing that there was less of a chance of Henry overhearing the argument that was rising between Spencer and yourself.
“Well?” Spencer backed away from you, crossing his arms across his chest, “How far along are you?”
“Seven months,” you bit the inside of your lip, guilt bubbling in your throat, “Almost eight.”
“Seven months!” Spencers shrill cry making you cringe slightly, “You’ve known for that long and didn’t once try to tell me?”
“It’s not like I didn’t want to tell you, Spencer!” you snapped, becoming defensive even though you knew you were the one at fault in this situation.
“Well it sure seems like it.” his tone cold and condescending, one that he never thought he would be directed at you.
“Believe me, Spencer, I did. I even tried calling you right after I found out but you just ignored me,” Tears began pricking at your eyes but they didn’t deter the outrage in your voice. “I thought if you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, why would you want anything to do with this baby?”
“I never once said that I wanted nothing to do with you!” Spencer jutted a finger out towards where you stood across from him, “Do not try and pin this on me. You were the one who kept my child a secret from me. All I wanted to do was protect you.”
“Well, it didn’t work. No, instead I was left feeling terrified and alone. How was I supposed to kno—”
A series of rapid taps rippling across the front of your bump cuts your sentence short, a gasp leaving your lips as you settle your hand against the area you had just felt them.
“What’s wrong?” Spencers resolve dropped the instance you grabbed your stomach, his anger replaced with concern as he closed the space between the two of you and placed a hand on your shoulder.
“The baby just kicked,” you breathed out a laugh, looking up to meet his worried stare, “They’ve never kicked that hard before.”
Relief flooded his features immediately, “Some recent studies suggest that an unborn baby can pick up on their mother’s emotions. The kicking was probably a reaction to your frustration.”
With a tight-lipped smile, you shook your head and reached for Spencer’s hands, “Or maybe, they wanted to say hi to their dad for the first time.”
Placing his hands against the cotton of your shirt, just above your belly button, it didn’t take long before another kick thumped right against Spencer’s hand. His eyes grew wide with wonderment and his mouth fell agape, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that there was an actual child growing within your body, his child.
“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Spencer asked softly, having found his voice again.
“No,” you gently shook your head, “Kinda wanted it to be a surprise.”
Spencer simply nodded and moved his hand along the skin of your stomach to follow the movements of the baby. You hadn’t realized your hands still laid atop of Spencer’s until they glided right along with his.
Running a thumb over his knuckle as they came to rest where the baby had shifted to, the moment felt natural. As if this is where you were meant to be all along. With Spencer, completely in love and at a loss of words upon feeling the life you had created together stretch and wiggle around.
“Spence,” you breathed out, it almost felt sinful to break the awe-inspired silence that had fallen in your dimly lit kitchen, “There aren’t enough words in the world to tell you how sorry I am.”
As a wistful smile graced Spencer’s lips, the sound of a tiny voice calling your name sounded from across your apartment.
Spencer and yourself shared a giggle, something that brought nostalgia to both of you.
“I’ll go get him,” your voice remained hushed, hesitantly peeling your hands away from the warmth that Spencer’s radiated and hastily made your way to Henry who was yelling your name in a singsong manner now.
Going to meet you in the living room, a small black and white photo pinned to the fridge with a flower shaped magnet caught Spencer’s attention. The sonogram photo showed the outline of your baby, the only definable feature being their button nose, identical to that of Spencer’s. Around the border, written in messy handwriting were the words ‘little love’ and a drawing of a heart.
“You can take it if you want to,” your voice took Spencer by surprise, tearing his unwavering gaze away from the image.
“Are you sure?” Spencer looked to where you stood in the living room, Henry’s sleeping form positioned rather awkwardly on one hip while you held his backpack in the other.
“I’m positive, Spencer. I have tons of other sonogram pictures.” you encouraged him.
Not needing any further coaxing, Spencer slid the magnet aside and pulled the priceless photo from its previous home on the fridge and tucked it into the pocket of his cardigan.
With the photo now secure in his position, Spencer joined you in the living room and gently took Henry from your arms, as well as collecting his small backpack from you.
Guiding him towards your front door, not a word was spoken between you and Spencer. Neither of you sure on what to say or where the two of you stood now.
“Goodnight, Henry,” you swept his golden locks out of his face and placed a kiss to his temple, to which you received a tiny hum at the sensation, “Goodnight to you too, Spencer.”
“You know,” Spencer whispered, careful not to wake Henry once again as he stepped into your apartment building’s hallway, “I never did stop loving you.”
His confession made your breath catch in your throat.
“I never stopped loving you either.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Spence.”
And with that, the two boys disappeared down the corridors of your apartment complex.
Shutting the door behind you and leaning up against it, you once more placed a hand on your baby bump and closed your eyes.
Things were far from perfect between you and Spencer, but now you felt as if there was some spark of hope for your future.
Hope that maybe, just maybe, you would be with Spencer, completely in love and at a loss of words upon watching the life you had created together grow and discover the world around them.