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The space around her was in chaos. Her ship ducked and dived under enemy fighters and explosions threw her off course. Her shields were at eight percent, she needed to get out of this. Rey was not going to last. She tried to contact Finn, his voice was difficult to hear, she could only pick up one or two words.
"Rey----okay? Can't---where---you?" The voice came through.
"Finn!" Rey was flung forward as a blast hit the back of her ship, her shields dropped to five percent, "I'm not going make it. I need to get out of this."
"Re- Help---you---wait."
"There's no time, I'm so sorry. There's no time."
She was hit again, cursing herself, knowing that if she had been paying attention she could have avoided the further damage. She took a deep breath as she watched her shields drop to two percent.
"I'm going to randomize my co-ordinates to prevent being followed," Rey said, ignored the jagged response, "once I've done repairs I'll find my way back. In the meantime, get the Resistance out of here. We can't make. There's too many of them."
"You can't go alone," the full sentence made it through the barricade of white noise coming through her radio. She sighed.
"Good luck, Finn. Tell everyone -"
Before she could finish her ship was hit again and her shield failed. She could smell smoke and feel the weight of her ship shift. She hurriedly started to go into hyperdrive, mentally hitting herself, she knew that there was a slim chance her ship would survive the jump, especially when her course was so riddled with ships and other obstacles. Before she went into hyperdrive a final blow it her ship. She could feel the heat behind her as something exploded. She prayed that her engines still worked...
And then she was gone, through the stars, through space.
She let darkness engulff her. Swallow her whole.
Kylo Ren was alone. For the first time in months he was truly alone.
Between diplmotic missions, strategy planning and formalities he had seldom had a moment to himself. Hux was always following him around like a whining dog, his generals were useless. The Resistance had grown and every other day they were fighting a battle somewhere.
The First Order was still strong, but the Resistance was not falling. There was strength growing in it, he could feel it.
But he did want to think of these things, of the Resistance and the First Order, of how many meetings he had to attend tomorrow, of how Hux was probably skulking around in the corridors, waiting for him to reemerge because there was another urgent issue that the Supreme Leader needed to attend to.
He was alone, and he did not want to think of anything.
But, but always, she managed to find a way into his mind.
Even in his moments of peace he was haunted by her, by Rey.
She had blocked her mind to him, he felt that it was out of sadness and grief and not hatred, but it not stop him from being hurt. She did not want anything to do with him. Because it caused her pain as well.
He had replayed their last moments together, really together, over and over.
Could he have said something differently? Was it the words he used? Had he been too forceful, too eager.
She had not been ready. Not ready to accept him, he had come to realize. As much as he had tried to change, there was always that monster inside him. And that was what she saw.
The monster.
He closed his eyes and tried to escape, but he could not.
He could try and sleep, but sleep was a burden. His nightmares were always so real, and he never woke up feeling rested. He woke up feeling tired, downtrodden. He may have killed Snoke in life, but the snake still slithered in his dreams, in the darkness of night. As he always had.
Rey woke up in pain. She was lost and alone. Looking around her, past the smoke, she saw an unfamiliar landscape.
Coughing, she tried to open the door using the controls, but everything was dead. The control board was charred, unusable. She saw cracks on the glass and realized that she would have to break her way out.
She cried out the first time she hit her fist against the cracked glass. Her entire body was weak, covered in bruises and cuts. But she needed to get out of the ship. Sooner or later, she would be suffocated by the smoke. She hit against the glass again, straining to hold her cries back.
After nearly half an hour, it had been smashed enough for Rey lie on her back and kick a hole through the glass. She pushed herself out of the ship, whincing as she was cut by the shards. She fell out onto the ground, moaning. She breathed in the fresh air, thanking the stars that the planet had breathable oxygen. Behind her she saw the smoking wreck. It was beyond repair, she knew, but Rey could not think of that now. She was badly wounded and black spots were beginning to cloud her vision. She needed help.
But she was far from being able to contact the Resistance now. Her communications were destroyed. They were lightyears way, all of her friends. She hoped that they could survive the battle, she hoped that they could survive in a better condition than her.
Rey lay on her back, trying to ignore the pain and thought of what to do. She could lie here, bleed out and die or...
No, she couldn't.
She couldn't do that to him, not after so long.
She couldn't hide away from Ben, for days and days on end, and then expect him to simply forgive her and come to her rescue.
Besides, he couldn't rescue her. Help her, maybe, but immediately after he would take her back to the First Order as a prisoner. She would not let that happen.
But as time went by and she struggled to stay awake she felt her mind become weaker under the strain. She had blocked him out with ease once, but now it was becoming harder. There was a pushing, a struggle in the force. Like a club bashing against the wall she had built in her mind. She did not want this pain on top of everything else she was feeling, tears were coming down her cheeks as she realized what she needed to do.
She stopped hiding from him. She freed her mind. And it felt as if a wave of cool water was rushing over her as she did.
"Ben," she whispered, "I'm sorry."
It nearly made him stumble. He gripped the edge of his desk as the pain came over him. What was happening.
"Rey?" he asked, turning, looking for her.
"Ben, I'm sorry," her whisper came, echoing against his walls. He saw her then, lying on the ground. Dreadfully hurt. He tried not to look at the blood seeping from her wounds, he tried not to look at the way she was breathing, rapidly, as if gasping for air. He tried to only look at her eyes as they were looking into his.
"What happened?" he asked, almost breathless with worry and hurt. Each time she breathed he felt a pain erupt in his chest. He felt was she did. He felt horrible.
"I got into trouble," she said softly, he could see the tears coming down her cheeks, "Ben, I'm sorry... I am, I am sorry. But I need your help... I understand if you don't... if you'd rather let me die. That's fine... But I needed to know..."
"Rey."
He was next to her now, on his knees. His hand touched hers. Through their bond it felt as if she was there, with him. Not far away on a hopeless distant planet.
"I won't let you die," he said.
In that moment, she was gone. Kylo stood up, his heart was racing. He did not have much time.
He left his chambers, walking quickly through the corridors towards the hangar.
Hux found him fast enough, trying to keep up with him he began to ask about different matters.
"Not now." Kylo said.
"But Supreme Leader, it's-"
"I said, not now." there was a finality in his voice. Hux stopped following him, seething.
Kylo sensed his anger but could care less. He made his way to his ship and, sitting down in the pilot seat, he closed his eyes, trying to find her.
The force made it clear, the system, the planet, the area. He opened his eyes and punched in the co-ordinates. Time was running out.
Rey had woken up, still alone, looking up at the night sky. Her throat was sore from the lack of water and the blood on her body had dried, but only a little. She knew that if she moved her wounds would open. She tried to sit up a little but a wave of pain forced her back down. She was tired, but feared sleep. She feared a sleep that she would never wake from. She had to stay awake. There were people in the world who needed her. She would not die. She could not die.
But the darkness set in again, in the corner of her eye she thought she saw a ship landing, but she did't think it was possible... just an illusion.
He had found her, after so long, he had found her.
Yes, she was unconcious, bleeding, full of pain and fear, but she was alive. And he had found her at last.
He did not have time to kneel by her body, take her hand, apologize. No. He had to save her. He got to work on cleaning and dressing her wounds, he gave her injections in order to fight off the infections that would ensue. He cleaned the ashes from her arms and legs. He put salve on all of the cuts that she had acquired. And when all that he could mend was mended, he placed her on a mattress.
Then, still worrying, he waited for her to wake up up.
Rey had woken with a jolt, breathing heavily. She had been reliving the battle in her dreams, reliving the terror and the chaos. But here she was, awake, in a quiet night. Beside her, she saw him.
"Ben?"
He looked up, he didn't say anything, his eyes were enough.
"Ben," she nearly choked up a bit, "I didn't think that you would-"
"It's okay. You're okay."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"For what?" he asked.
"For blocking you out. I didn't want to see you because..." she took a breath, "it hurt too much. I hurt you. I'm sorry for that."
"Don't be," he said, "I know it hurts. You can't bame yourself."
"You tried to reach out to me, Ben. I felt it... I ignored you. I'm- I'm sorry."
She hung her head, looking at her wounds.
"You helped me."
"I had no choice, Rey," he took her hand, "you're a part of me. As much as you can ignore it, I can't. Your pain is my own. And your death," he let go, "I don't want to think about it."
She didn't think about it, she threw her arms around him and held him close, trying to ignore the sting from her wounds. He held her gently, letting her bury her head in his chest.
"You hurt me," she said.
"I know."
"No, you really did hurt me. More than anyone else could have."
"I know."
"If you want to make this right, Ben..." she stopped, she was crying.
"Tell me," he said, "please. There is an ache. I will do anything to stop it from tearing me apart."
"Come with me," she said, "join the Resistance. Come back to your mother. Come back with me..."
"Rey, I-"
"You think I'm the one holding on," she pushed herself away from him, looking into his eyes, "you think that I am the one who needs to let go. I have let go. I let go of my past and I found something I can hold on to. Something good. Something that can make a change. You're the one holding on, Ben. Not me."
He looked at her, "maybe," he said.
"You love me Ben, I know you do, you must. Because of some... sick trick, the force has made it so we much love each other. But you cannot let the Dark Side control you, Ben."
"Then help me, Rey," he said, "the light and the jedi... it only held betrayal for me. It only pain. It is not easy to forget."
"Perhaps the light is not the only way," Rey looked at him, "perhaps there is another side to the force. One that is not dark or light, a place of balance," she took his hand again, "a place for us."
"But you must leave the First Order, Ben. You must leave that side of you behind."
"It won't be easy."
"I'll help you."
They held each other again, embracing. Trying to ward off the darkness of the night, they held each other. And when the sun on that planet rose, they would hide from its light, ignoring it. Together, they were whole. And Ben found himself at peace, eventually, he found that he could sleep without the ghosts of his past haunting him.
And when they awoke, he knew what he had to do.
He knew what had to be done.