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"Again," was all he heard as he stood at the door, listening to her voice softly commanding her students. He had been one of those once; they didn't know how lucky they were to have a Master like her.
"Kylo?" The name he had kept as a reminder made him turn around to see Rose, dressed in her - also one of Rey's longtime friends; they had bonded during the long fight against the First Order. She was also one of the few people who spoke to him willingly, even after the few years he had spent here in house arrest.
She said nothing more, instead walked to the door and heard what he had been listening to. Kylo kept his face impassive, as he always did, but she knew more than most - it was what he didn't say that always gave him away.
"She's a good teacher," Rose spoke out loud, giving him an opening.
"They will be strong in will - her conviction is undeniable and infectious." It was what drew her to him so long ago, it felt like another lifetime; they barely spoke to each other as he made penance in other ways. He could not trust himself to teach others when he had strayed so far.
Rose snorted, "I'll say." He looked at her, frowning in silent question. "Come on, Kylo. Everyone knows the story - you turned for her. Killed Snoke to protect her. Surrendered for her. You love her."
The last sentence was said softly, as if it was a treasured secret - and it was; Kylo had never heard it said out loud, though it had been true for many years.
Before he could respond, he realized the sounds of staves clacking together had stopped, and the door opened. He took a step back as Rey looked at him blocking the doorway; she didn't even look surprised to see him there, and Kylo looked down and stepped to the side to let her pass. Rose had disappeared, leaving them alone.
He said nothing, keeping his head down so she wouldn't have to engage in conversation with him; it was always awkward, always full of him staring and not enough words between them to bridge the gulf of baggage that came with it.
"Good day, Ben," her voice was directed at him for the first time in days and he visibly shivered. She had refused to call him Kylo, ever since he had signed the surrender as he faced his mother. Since he was sentenced to live here, in the new capital on Chandrila, until his death. She was the only one who called him that.
Not even Leia.
He realized that the time for response had moved into awkward silence and swallowed thickly as he looked at her, "Rey - how was the lesson?"
His voice shook at the effort to keep it casual and he shifted his head to look at her as she studied him. She had flourished these past years - her hair longer, twisted into a simple bun instead of three while she taught, her features growing into adulthood. Her eyes, full of hard-won wisdom - but always compassion. Always kindness.
She didn't deserve to be loved by a monster like him. He stayed as far as he could from her, except these times - when his weakness made him need her light.
"It was good, although I hope they never need to use the forms I teach them." Her voice had a hard edge to them, worn by experience in battle. Kylo had been the cause of most of it, and he broke her curious gaze. "You never join us, Ben. It might do you good."
He shook his head and backed away, unwilling to hear her be nice to him. He didn't deserve it, could barely speak in her presence. "I do better alone. When I was with Luke, even - I made the students uncomfortable; I can't do that again. They're better without me, you'll make them strong - incorruptible, unlike me."
"Ben," his eyes flicked over to hers as he wrung his hands nervously, "Everyone has some darkness in them, you know that - it's just about...acceptance. Love."
She didn't sound like a Jedi, and he was grateful for it - she had pushed her teaching beyond their wisdom, or perhaps back to the original source.
"If you'd like, we could practice together," she smirked as he opened his mouth to tell her what a terrible idea that was. "Maybe not fighting, not yet - but meditation, exercising our other skills in the Force? We're not meant to be alone, Ben."
His heart twisted with her words and words failed him, so he simply nodded in response. Her hand shook as she moved it slowly up to feel the warmth of his cheek, red with the flush of an unnamed emotion. His eyes fluttered closed as her thumb grazed his cheek, accepting his answer, because she knew - it was what he didn't say that gave him away.
She saw him eating alone in the common area as she laughed with Finn and Rose about some trouble Poe had gotten himself into with Amilyn - again. The laughter puttered out as the others ate and she grabbed a piece of fruit, slipping off the seat and walking towards him.
He watched her walk over to him with barely concealed interest; he was always so intense and with her even more so - their history was well known. At least their public one; the private one was kept secret, shared only with each other, still unspoken after years.
"So," she spoke as she bit into the fruit and plopped down in the seat across from him. "What have you been up to today, busy at all?"
"I-" His voice cut off and she watched him swallow, clearly nervous. Always unsure with her now, since he had turned - surrendered everything to them. For her, although he never said it. She never asked, either - afraid of the answer. "I've been writing, helping to document all the artifacts the Church of the Force brought to us."
"Sounds boring," she replied, and watched his face tick in almost-annoyance. She laughed softly, "Come on, Ben. I'm only teasing - I know you love that stuff."
He looked around the room at all the eyes on them still, even now - over her shoulder at her friends. "I think you should go, your friends look like they miss you."
Rey raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you trying to get rid of me, Ben Solo?"
"No, I just-"
She smiled and grabbed his hand brazenly and felt his surprise, his pulse quicken and he licked his lips. They had never touched each other in public before, he was always so concerned for her - so nervous. Rey made a split-second decision and stood up, moving to sit beside him, his eyes tracking her every move. Her body shuddered as it always did under his scrutiny.
"What are you doing?" His voice was low, well aware of the eyes on them and what whispers even their proximity would engender.
"It's been months, I'm tired of hiding," there was a question in her words, but he simply looked at her, giving her silent permission. He would give her everything she wanted. It was a heady feeling and when he leaned down to her, pulled by the invisible string that tied them together, she knew he no longer felt alone. Her lips touched his and his body immediately turned to hers, large hands gripping her face as desperation hit him.
He always held her so tight, as if afraid she would leave him, and without words she took everything he gave - everything he needed. His tongue licked her lips as he pulled away slowly, and she tried to pull him back for more, but his subtle glance towards the center of the room made her remember where they were. And what she had just done - claimed Ben Solo for her own, the tips of his ears red from his nervousness.
From the other side of the room, Rose's voice rang out, "I KNEW it."