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The word affection had never really played a part in Daryl Dixon’s life. Tender touches and caring caresses had never existed, only harsh hits and brutal blows.
Touch had always been foreign to him, kind words never spoken. He supposed there had to have been at least one hug, maybe from his mother, when he had been really young. Obviously it hadn’t been all that great, considering he couldn’t actually remember that time.
Daryl remembered being in school, and seeing one of his classmates run to his father for a hug at the end of the day. He must have only been five or six at the time, setting off on his journey home unaccompanied. He remembered how the boy had beamed when his father had raised his arms, intent on gathering him for a warm embrace. His little brain had been so confused. Why hadn’t his classmate flinched? How had he known that a hug was coming, and not a punch? Wasn’t that what all parents did?
As he grew, he learned that his family wasn’t exactly traditional. His parents were alcoholics, his father abusive and his mother barely even there. His brother had been an angry little boy, and as Daryl himself grew, he realised why. Product of his environment, and all that stuff.
By the time he had reached adulthood, affection was so unheard of in his life that it made him uncomfortable. He was used to being closed off, only having Merle to really care for. Women would come and go, the using for sexual release mutual in nature. He had certainly never had a long lasting relationship with any of those girls who had shared his bed for one night, and one night only.
So when the end of the world rolled around, and all those government officials were telling people to steer clear of other people, it wasn’t really a problem for Daryl. He collected Merle, and the two of them got the hell out of dodge. Other than the dead roaming around, things weren’t all that different.
Until he and Merle came across the group. They had planned to rob the camp blind, but at the sight of the children, Daryl had called off the plan. Merle hadn’t been too happy, but as his brother, Daryl had known Merle had hesitated too. Merle was an asshole, but never to kids.
Over time, affection began to seep into Daryl’s life. Carol would touch him here and there, comforting touches on his arm or shoulder. Rick would clap his shoulder, and Glenn would elbow him when he thought of something funny. Maggie had no problem smacking him upside the head whenever he said something grouchy, though it was always done with amusement, and was never malicious.
At first it had made him uncomfortable, and he distinctly remember flinching once when Carol had kissed his head in thanks for trying to save Sophia. She had seen him flinch, and the two had shared a knowing look between them. Now, he wasn’t so surprised whenever someone would touch him. It was nothing, just something that happened from time to time. Completely normal.
What wasn’t normal was when Daryl found himself reaching out, and touching someone else.
When you had joined the group, Daryl hadn’t thought much of you. He was busy trying to help Rick, trying to feed the group and trying to survive. You were just another face, albeit a pretty one, in his opinion. As the months wore on, he got to know you from a distance. He learned that you were sweet, but strong. You expressed your emotions freely, and always seemed to know what to say and how to connect to someone in need. The kids flocked to you, seeking out comfort when the world got to be too much, and Daryl noticed that some of the adults would do the same.
You had a strength that Daryl wasn’t used to. He was strong physically, but you had a deep inner strength that knew no bounds. You had hope for the world around you, for the people living in it, and like a moth to a flame, Daryl found himself drawn to it.
When baby Judith came along, things changed for the both of you. His refusal to let her die, and your stepping up to care for the infant, had pushed the two of you together. In the few months where Rick was getting himself back together, the two of you worked as a team to make sure Judith and Carl were ok. Daryl stepped up for the prison too, something he didn’t think twice about until you had praised him for it, flashing him a dazzling smile.
“It ain’t nothin’,” he had mumbled.
“It’s more than most would do,” you had said. “More than most would be able for.”
Daryl hadn’t known what to say, and any words he could think of were stopped in their tracks when you had reached out, and placed your hand over his.
“Rick’s really lucky to have you as his right hand man,” you had smiled. “We’re all really lucky to have you.”
After that touch, it was like a dam had opened up. Daryl found himself anticipating your affection, his pulse speeding up that tiny bit at every brush of your hand against his arm, at every bump of your hip as you teased him over something or other.
And all of a sudden, his hands had a mind of their own too. Daryl found himself settling his hand on your lower back, guiding you into rooms and around corners that you didn’t need help getting to. He found himself grasping your wrist every now and then, his thumb brushing over your pulse as though to remind himself you were alive, and safe.
The real turning point was after you had gotten hit over the head with a gun. A run gone wrong had had you sent straight to Hershel, bleeding from a head wound, and needing stitches. Hershel had given you some strong painkillers, and Daryl had helped you back to your cell.
He settled you on your bunk, the movement causing you to wince.
“Ow,” You whined, somewhat childishly. “Bastard got me good with that one.”
“Shouldn’t’a happened,” Daryl mumbled, his thumbnail to his mouth. “Should’ve waited for me.”
“I was with Glenn, we figured we could handle it. Place wasn’t very big, how were we supposed to know some crazies were hidin’ out in the back room.”
“Tha’s what sweeps are for,” Daryl pointed out.
“Point taken,” you grumbled. “But can you lecture me on the safety rules and regulations later. I mean, I think I already learned my lesson.”
“The hard way,” Daryl agreed.
“I got a boo-boo,” you pouted, using the same term you would use when talking to Judith. “Be nice to me. It might scar.”
Daryl only shook his head, “Ain’t deep enough. Looks like it’s already bruisin’ though.”
“Really?” You groaned. “Black and blue really aren’t my colours.”
Daryl huffed a laugh at your joke, bending down in front of you. He brushed his hand against your sore skin.
“Gonna have to be, it’s gonna be a big one.”
“Well aren’t you a barrel of good news?” You sighed, shifting on the bed, unknowingly pushing yourself closer to Daryl. “At least I got some good painkillers out of it.”
Daryl slowly let his hand drop from your face, studying you closely as a few emotions seemed to flash into your eyes.
“What’s got you thinkin’ so hard?”
You blinked, and Daryl was horrified to see tears beginning to form.
“I’m just thinking... I really want my mom right now,” you whispered, letting out a small laugh. “It’s stupid, I know, but, every time I’d get hurt when I was little, she’d wrap me in her arms and kiss wherever I was hurting. She used to tell me that those kisses were magical, that they could heal even the deepest wound.”
Daryl watched as you blinked the tears away, sniffling softly as you smiled sadly at him.
“She was always like that,” you continued. “Always ready with a kiss and a cuddle. She had more affection to give than anyone else I ever knew. Must be where I get it from.”
You laughed, shaking your head, “God, I sound stupid, talkin’ ‘bout ‘‘magical kisses” as though they’re a recognised cure. What am I? A baby?”
A pretty pink blush began to creep up your neck, captivating Daryl as he watched it spread. His blue eyes locked onto yours, willing away the sadness in them. He found himself wanting nothing more than to make it go away, no matter what he had to do to make it so.
“Did they work?” He asked gruffly. “Did they make you feel better?”
You smiled, and nodded sadly. “It was all in my head, it wasn’t like the injury actually got better, but knowing someone was there for me... yeah, it worked.”
Daryl nodded slowly, and silence descended upon the both of you. You quickly got lost in your own thoughts, barely noticing when Daryl shifted.
But when lips pressed against the side of your head, soft and rough at the same time, you definitely noticed. His cool lips soothed your raw skin, the affection in his touch soothing far more than that.
He pulled back suddenly, just enough so you could see his eyes.
“What was that for?” You whispered softly.
Daryl mumbled something along the lines of “I dunno”, his shoulders shrugging slightly as he ducked his head.
A smile bloomed across your face, and you reached out, pressing your hand to the side of his blushing cheek.
“Wanted to make you feel better,” Daryl mumbled, his stubble scratching against your palm, tickling ever so slightly. “It work?”
“More than you know,” you nodded, feeling a lump of emotion form in your throat. You glanced down at his lips, a sudden rush of affection filling you.
The two of you seemed to lean in at the same time, heads tilting in sync. Daryl’s lips pressed against yours, not so gentle as before. His hands reached out, encircling your waist as you cupped his face with both hands.
You slowly slid off the bed until you were on your knees, just like he was. Daryl pressed his whole body against yours, enveloping you, as you wound your arms around his neck.
Air became a necessity, though the two of you only broke apart for a moment to catch your breath, and share a tender, affectionate smile before sharing another kiss.
From that day forward, affection coloured every inch of Daryl Dixon’s life. He felt it every morning when he woke up with you in his arms, and every night as he lay down to sleep, kissing you goodnight.