Work Text:
Jon’s alarm rang at 6AM and he jumped out of bed. He had a lot to do before he saw Damian tonight. He used his super speed to rush through his morning routine and zipped down to breakfast with his family.
“You sure look excited.” Clark commented with a warm smile when he saw Jon shoveling eggs into his mouth.
“I’ve got a busy day ahead of me. Everything needs to be perfect for tonight!” Jon beamed, as he got up to wash his plate. Clark ruffled his hair and Kon shot him a sly look, opening his mouth about to give a teasing remark.
“So I cant stay and chat, love you guys! Bye! Let me know if you need anything!” he said hurriedly, kissing his family members on the cheek and rushing out the door before Kon could make fun of him for being a lovesick idiot.
Jon ran around Metropolis making sure everything was perfect for Damian. Tomorrow marked three years of their relationship, and today was Valentine’s Day. He knew that Damian had his issues with the holiday, calling it a ‘capitalist agenda equating love to how much money you spend on another person’, but Jon saw it as a celebration of love. That no matter who you were or where you where you were in the world, everyone has love in common.
And, man, did he want to show how much he loved Damian.
The past few weeks had kept the two boys apart. From schools to independent missions, jobs and internships, their schedules didn’t coordinate as well as they used to. Also, Colin, Damian’s best friend, had moved back to Gotham after being away for years. Jon was thrilled to see him, he only knew of Colin through Damian’s stories and the fond look in his eyes when he spoke of him. But Jon also kept his distance, he knew that the two of them would want to catch up in private without Jon hovering over them like an awkward overbearing boyfriend.
But tonight Damian is free.
Tonight Damian is his.
Tonight Jon is going to spend every second with Damian telling him how much he loves him, how much adores him, and how much he missed him. He just hopes that Damian likes everything that Jon had planned.
Jon lands in front of Wayne Manor in a suit and tie and his arms full of a massive bouquet of red roses and white lilys. Jon knocked on the door and was almost giggling with excitement. Damian answered the door and Jon positively lit up, his heart even beat a little bit faster.
“Happy Valentines Day!” Jon smiled, holding out the flowers for Damian to take.
“Happy Valentines Day, Jonathan.” Damian smiled, accepting the bouquet. Jon took in Damian’s face. He had bags under his eyes, as if something kept him up for days. His normally immaculate hair hung in his eyes, as if he's been running his hands through it. It was a nervous tick the older boy had when he couldn’t make a decision.
Jon grasped Damians hand and gave him a warm smile.
“I made reservations for us at that spindletop restaurant in Downtown Gotham.”
Damian smiled weakly and it looked like all of his muscles were stiff and tense.
“If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to. You look like you’ve been having a rough couple of nights. I’d rather you stay and get some rest.”
Damian laughed at that, and looked at him in the eyes.
“Jon can we, just, sit for a moment?” He motioned at the furniture sitting on the porch. Jon did as he was asked and waited patiently for Damian to start talking. But Damians eyes were fixed on the flowers in his hands, so Jon decided to speak first.
“Damian? Is everything alright?”
Damian takes a deep breath and meets his eyes for a split second before looking down at the flowers again.
“Colin moved back to Gotham. You know that. And you know that i've been spending more time with him. You’ve been nothing courteous and patient with me- with us. You never thought I was unfaithful, and you were never jealous or spiteful when I told you that I wanted to spend a day with Colin instead of with you. But, i’m afraid- I must confess something to you.”
Jon swallowed as Damian looked up at him and gave a curt nod.
“I-I’ve always loved Colin. I never acted on it because I was scared of losing him as a friend, and when I finally did have the courage, he told me that he was moving away. And I-I thought I moved on. I thought I loved you. But, seeing him again, and talking to him. I-I just....” Damian trailed off.
Jons breath caught in his throat as Damians I thought I loved you replayed over and over in his head.
“What are you trying to tell me?” Jon swallowed, fearing the worst, his eyes never leaving Damians.
Damians eyes finally met his and held his gaze. He sat up straight and squared his shoulders.
“I want to break up with you.” he said plainly.
Jon thought he prepared himself for the worst.
He was wrong.
The worst wasn’t hearing those words. The worst was feeling them.
He felt like he’d been sucker punched and stabbed in the chest. He could physically feel his heart constrict and churn behind his ribcage. And then, all of a sudden, it felt like his heart had shattered, pumping only ice shards through his veins. His whole body went numb. It hurt to take take a breath in without feeling like his lungs were burning and scraping against glass shards. He felt like he was ten years old again, falling into the cold, dark, depths of San Francisco Bay, too worn out to use his powers. Damian saved him that night. He pulled him out of that dark chasm. Assured him that he was safe. But this time, Damian wasn’t going to save him.
He was the one drowning him.
“You have to understand, he’s my first love.” Damian blurted, no doubt from a lack of his reaction.
“I'm sure I can.” Jon mumbled, his mouth moving, but his brain unable to register what he was saying.
“Jonathan,” Damian said softly.
Jon didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear that soft voice. That soft voice that told him Damian liked him. That same voice that asked him out on a date. That same voice that asked if it would be okay to kiss him. That same voice that whispered he loved him.
It was all a lie. Damian never loved you. He never moved on from Colin. You were just a dumping grounds for his emotions.
“I’m sorry .”
The both sat in quiet for some time. His mind told him that it couldn’t have been more than five minutes, but his heart said that it was an eternity.
Unable to think of anything to say, Jon stood up and walked off the porch. His heart still beating an icy venom through his veins.
“Jon! Jon, wait!” Damian called after him.
Jon didn’t want to, but a hand that curled around his wrist made him stop.
“Please, say something . Say anything! ” Damian pleaded, but Jon didn’t dare to turn and look at him.
Jon could feel his throat constricting, a painful lump was forming. Jon swallowed and cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on the setting sun.
“You love Colin?” he asked
Damian answered with a small, “yes.” The hand around his wrist applied a bit more pressure.
“Colin loves you back?”
“Yes.”
“You’re happy with him?”
“Yes.”
Jon finally turned to look at Damian dead in the eye.
“Are you happier with him than you are with me?”
Damians cheeks turned red, a sight that used to make Jon feel like he could fly to the farthest parts of the galaxy and back. Damian’s hand loosened around his wrist, and he looked down at his feet.
“Yes.” the soft voice again.
Jon knows that he shouldn’t ask the next question that’s in his head. It won’t do either of them any good. Just more pain. But Jon had a flicker of hope in his heart. Just a small part of him that ached with optimism.
“Do you love Colin more than you love me?”
Damian looked up at him, determination in his dark green eyes.
“Yes.”
Jon's heart crumpled and withered in on itself. The twisting under his ribs turning into a heavy stone that sat on his sternum. Jon swallowed again, swearing he could taste copper.
“Then there’s nothing to discuss. You deserve to be happy. And I wouldn’t want to keep you in a relationship where you’re not happy just because I am.” Jon tried to smile at him. Damian dropped his gaze. The smile was most likely unconvincing.
Jon softly took Damian’s hand off of his wrist and stepped back.
“Jon-” Damian started again, but the younger boy couldn’t take it anymore. He jumped into the darkening sky and began to fly home.
Jon walks into the apartment that he shares with his family. His parents out for night on a date no doubt. Kon was sitting in front of the TV with a large pizza, chicken wings, and chinese food set out in front of him as a horror movie played on the screen.
“Back so soon, lover boy?” Kon taunted.
“I guess.” Jon replied, shimmying out of his jacket and kicking off his shoes.
“I thought you were going to that fancy smancy dinner place with roses and setting up for the perfect night with the love of your life.” Kon laughed.
Jon grit his teeth and the numb pain in his chest turned into the vicious shards once again. He undid his tie and set it next to his jacket.
“That was the plan.” Jon tried saying in an even voice, but it cracked. He winced as Kons head whipped around. Jon saw his big brothers eyes turn as wide as saucers, and he figured he must look as bad as he felt. He forced himself to the couch and plopped down on it, rubbing at his tear stained cheeks.
“What happened?” Kon demanded, Jon didn’t have the energy to look him in the eye. Instead he just watched some blonde haired girl get impaled by spikes.
Kon turned off the TV and Jon was forced to look at him.
“Damian, he, uh-” his throat constricted again and his lip wobbled violently. “He-he-he,” Jon stuttered as tears spilled from his eyes.
“He broke up with me.” he finally managed through a strangled sob.
Kon tackled him into a hug, and Jon let go of a wail that he’s been holding in from his trip from Gotham to Metropolis. Jon sobbed into his big brothers chest, staining his shirt with tears and snot. Kon tried to soothe him by rubbing his back, but Jon clung onto Kon like he was his only life line.
“H-he, he said that he loved Colin more. He didn’t love me! I loved him so much! All this time, I loved him with all my heart! A-a-and he didn’t love me back! I-I-I was only-only a replacement! I was his rebound !” he continued to wail.
He knew he sounded stupid. He knew he probably sounded like a child. But he didn’t care. Everything hurt. His head hurt, his eyes hurt, his lungs burned, his chest ached. It felt like he was force fed Kryptonite and a building was dropped on top of him.
After some time, Jons wails and sobs finally came to a stop, but the tears still fell down his cheeks like endless rivers.
“What did I do wrong , Kon?” Jon hiccuped.
“What?!”
“What did I do wrong ? Why didn’t he love me back? I-I gave him my heart. And-and he took it, and then gave it back when he didn’t want it anymore.” Jon croaked.
Kon hugged Jon tighter to his chest, desperately wishing that he could absorb the younger boys pain.
“Nothing, Jonny Boy. You did nothing wrong. And don’t think for a second that you did. You loved Damian with all of your heart. But sometimes-” Kon sighed, thinking of his own break ups, “-sometimes people are just..... Like that. They want love, they want to be loved. Even if the person they’re receiving the love from is someone they don’t reciprocate feelings for. And I really really wish that person wasn’t you.”
Jon only sniffed and they both sat in silence.
“It hurts Kon.” Jon whispered.
“I know buddy, I know.” Kon said pressing a kiss to his head. “But you can get through this. You’re Superboy. You’re resilient. You’ll survive.”
Jon didn’t think Kon was right, but he was too tired to say anything. So he shut his heavy eyes and fell asleep on his big brother.