Chapter Text
Secrets.
Everyone has them.
Jeongguk knew he wasn’t the only member of BTS who was constantly struggling and fighting a silent battle.
Seokjin.
Out of the seven of them, Seokjin had always received the most hate and the comments against his hyung were always sickening to read. What Jeongguk saw was a talented singer whose soft voice was befitting for their music. He also saw him as a gentle, caring figure who would cook and ensure that the six of them were well fed and hydrated. Seokjin was as hardworking as the rest of them and deserved more praise and recognition for his efforts. But sadly, that wasn’t what other people saw. Seokjin was always given an unfair amount of lines in their songs and though the elder majored in acting, he’d never received any consideration for debuting as an actor. It hurts Jeongguk to see his hyung trying his best to be optimistic and disregard this treatment.
Yoongi.
He had a past. He’s known to the world as a reserved and nonchalant idol. But little did they know, Yoongi had actually struggled with body image as well as depression. He was never one to voice out his problems and seek help so when he openly admitted about these problems at a radio interview the year after their debut, Jeongguk was shocked, to say the very least. The elder had also pressed the issues of the standardised image pushed upon idols. Although Jeongguk knew that that wasn’t all Yoongi had to say, the maknae’s respect for his hyung intensified tenfold, if that was even possible. He hoped that all the fake fans who only viewed Yoongi as a lazy grandpa will one day realise the fight he went through to stand where he is now.
Hoseok.
Compared to the blinding smile the elder gave away to mesmerise their fans, he wasn’t always the sun that shined brightly in the dark behind the scene. To uphold such a title, Hoseok had to sacrifice his own happiness at times. Sometimes, it was just a brave face he pulled for his fans to see so they wouldn’t worry but inside Jeongguk’s heart hurt for his hyung. There was a time where fans had brought Hoseok down by calling him ‘ugly’ but even then, his hyung had smiled the pain away. To Jeongguk, he was the most selfless being on Earth and he could always count on him to brighten the atmosphere but sometimes Jeongguk wished that his hyung would just cry all his problems out because no one was strong enough to keep everything inside themselves.
Namjoon.
This ever so wise hyung who had to bear the title of ‘leader’ would no doubt carry the most pressure, burden and responsibilities. People always wondered how their leader had such an interesting perspective of life and death but only Jeongguk and the rest of their group knew Namjoon’s real past. His close encounter with death was terrifying to hear about but what the elder had suffered at such a young age was something Jeongguk could never imagine himself going through so yes, the respect he had for Namjoon was indescribable. However, Namjoon was often too critical of himself and everyone in their group knew that their leader would overthink a lot of situations and this in turn made Jeongguk worry a lot but he sincerely believed that Namjoon will truly strive and fly high.
Jimin.
Jeongguk knew Jimin was full of insecurities. Especially when it came to his appearance. Back during their debut, Jimin had revealed his well-defined abs to impress his fans without knowing the consequences losing them could bring. People started calling him ‘fat’ and ‘lazy’ and this severely damaged the elder’s self esteem. Jeongguk’s heart burned with every meal the elder would skip even though they all knew Jimin was hungry. There was no doubt that Jimin’s health was deteriorating but the singer was too stubborn and continued to starve himself and all Jeongguk could do was watch as his hyung grew thinner. It hurt. It wasn’t a competition but Jeongguk thought that Jimin listening to the hate hurt him more than his hyung. Thankfully now, the elder was back to eating healthily, relieving some worry off Jeongguk’s mind.
Taehyung.
A creative, thoughtful and independent person, he was and still is. His choice of expression and thinking were different from your average person and Jeongguk found every aspect of Taehyung intriguing, be it his interest in fashion or his appreciation of art and drama. Taehyung was also a very emotional person especially shown through his love for children and nature but his quirks were often misunderstood to fans because he was not very expressive. With the loss of a love one, Jeongguk witnessed Taehyung endure the pain for a few months but the thing with his hyung is that he always overcame his hardships and found happiness elsewhere. So to Jeongguk, it’s a shame Taehyung’s innocence was confused with immaturity and that his perceived personality was classified as ‘alien’ when he was simply blessed with a complex psyche.
Jeongguk, himself.
The ‘golden maknae’, he had been deemed. Being the main vocalist, lead dancer, sub rapper, face of the group and maknae came with a lot of pressure. Pressure which Jeongguk didn’t know if he could withstand but if there was one thing that he never did, it was giving up. So he dealt with everything himself for the past few years because to him, what hurt the most wasn’t his own problems but seeing the people he loved and cared about struggling mentally. Having come to Seoul at a really early age, he never really got a chance to socialise with like age people so his hyungs were everything to him. When Jeongguk saw them struggle quietly, he tried his best to be there for each of them in every way he could think of whether it was staying up with them, cheering them up with his antics or simply using his presence to offer the elders his support.
Point is? They were all suffering in their own way so Jeongguk’s problem was not really a big deal and no, he was not going to go bother them when they had their own weight to carry. Even if it meant locking himself away and crying alone, he didn’t want to be a burden to his hyungs.
And that’s how Jeongguk always dealt with everything.
By himself.
~~~
“Jeongguk-ah, you don’t have to help. Go get some rest, you look really tired,” Seokjin urged as he caught sight of their maknae entering the kitchen.
With Seokjin, the elder relieved himself from stress through cooking and so, Jeongguk would join him whenever he could just to make sure someone was there for their oldest hyung if he ever needed to talk. Even if it meant he would sometimes have to sacrifice his own rest time, in the end, Jeongguk knew it was all worth it.
“I’m okay, hyung. I’m not that tired. We weren’t even that busy and you look like you could use some help,” Jeongguk chuckled, watching as Seokjin struggled with an armful of ingredients.
Jeongguk swiftly went forward and alleviated most of the weight from the elder, crossed the kitchen before setting them down on the counter.
“What’re we making tonight?” the maknae asked, eyeing the various vegetables and seasonings.
“Japchae and kimchijeon for dinner and I was thinking hotteok for dessert. I already have the dough and filling ready.”
“Oh boy, that’s a lot of food,” Jeongguk said, his statement making Seokjin smile.
“I’m in the mood to cook,” Seokjin shrugged.
What that translated to in Jeongguk’s head was ‘I need to do something to help me relieve stress’ and that hurt but Jeongguk was glad that at least he was there to quietly support the elder and lend a shoulder if Seokjin really needed it.
“What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to go rest but I know you’re not going to listen so here,” Seokjin smiled as he dumped a pile of vegetables into Jeongguk’s arm. “Can you get these washed and then chopped?”
“On it, hyung.”
Jeongguk immediately walked towards the sink and carefully placed the vegetables onto the counter. He opened the tap and ran each ingredient under the tap for a few seconds, giving them a few scrubs and moving them to the cutting board. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Seokjin smiling gently and he felt a slight happiness bubble inside him, knowing that his eldest hyung was cheering up with his presence.
After a moment of consideration, the elder finally brought his eyes away from Jeongguk and went to extract the marinated mushrooms and beef from the fridge. He uncovered the two bowls and nodded, satisfied at the smell. Noticing that Jeongguk was already halfway through his task, he begun preparing the egg garnish next the maknae. His movements were swift and fluid like he belonged in the kitchen and he smiled with pride when he noticed Jeongguk diverting some of his attention away from the vegetables to watch the elder.
“I know I’m amazing,” Seokjin teased and Jeongguk immediately snapped his head back down to complete his task, embarrassed at himself for getting caught staring although it was like the millionth time they decided to cook together. Seokjin smiled at the younger’s actions, clearly amused that he was so easily shaken before adding, “I’m joking, I don’t mind you watching. Just be careful not to cut yourself.”
At that, the younger raised his head to give a small smile. “I won’t. Don’t worry, hyung.”
When all the ingredients were prepared, Seokjin filled the pot with water and let it boil. Jeongguk watched as his hyung first cooked the noodles before handing them over to him to strain and cut whilst he, himself, went on to add the rest of the ingredients carefully, making sure that no vegetable or seasoning was added at the wrong time.
Once Seokjin was done, the elder waved Jeongguk over and placed everything together in a large stainless steel mixing bowl. The younger was handed a pair of clear gloves which he easily slid on. Seokjin chuckled softly at the determined look on Jeongguk’s face as he reached in and started mixing the ingredients.
“Hyung… are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m better now,” Seokjin smiled, albeit tiredly.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jeongguk asked quietly, not wanting to push too far.
“It’s nothing, Jeongguk-ah. I was just feeling tired from travelling around so much for all the concerts and now, with our comeback coming up, it just got a bit stressful, you know?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathed, relieved to know that the other was feeling less stressed. “It’s ok to take a break once in a while, hyung.”
Jeongguk had seen how much Seokjin would push himself whenever it grew close to their comeback. Their eldest hyung would spend more time practicing their choreographies, never once ashamed to ask Hoseok, Jimin and himself for help when he needed it. But everyone needs a break eventually and Seokjin was no exception.
“I know. Don’t worry about me,” Seokjin smiled as he gently bumped Jeongguk with his elbow in a manner which showed he was grateful.
The maknae flashed his famous bunny smile and Seokjin’s smile widened at the younger’s cute gesture.
After a few more minutes of silent mixing, the elder deemed the dish done and ready to serve so they scooped the noodles out and transferred them neatly onto a plate before moving on to make the kimchijeon.
When they finished cooking the simple pancake, Jeongguk ran around to his hyungs’ rooms to call them for dinner whilst Seokjin quickly set up the table.
Dinner went fast with their usual banter, laughter and loud conversations and soon it was just Seokjin and Jeongguk again in the kitchen, finishing the hotteok as the other members waited patiently in the family room. Jeongguk decided that Seokjin should have a little fun so he wiped some flour onto his hyung’s face only to receive no retaliation. He pouted at Seokjin and was about to voice that the elder was ‘boring’ but before he could open his mouth, two flour-covered hands met his cheeks, leaving him in stunned silence.
“Hey, no fair,” he whined childishly and Seokjin finally let out a loud and genuine laugh at their maknae’s playful frown.
“You started it,” Seokjin quipped back.
Jeongguk’s frown turned into a small smile at his accomplishment of making his hyung laugh for the first time that night and he contentedly returned to frying the hotteoks. From the side, he could feel the tension seep away completely from Seokjin’s shoulders and it couldn’t have made Jeongguk any more relieved.
Seeing his hyung happy was all he needed.
“Thank you, Jeonggukkie.”
~~~
“Yoongi-hyung?”
“Yeah?” the elder murmured from his unmoving position on the couch in his studio.
“Do you mind if I join you? The others are a bit of a headache right now,” Jeongguk chuckled.
Yoongi nodded, eyes not lifting up from the scrapbook he was scrutinising, and Jeongguk smiled victoriously. He entered quietly, careful not to disturb his hyung before slipping through the various sound systems and room decors before dropping himself slowly onto the couch. It had been quite a while since Jeongguk last saw Yoongi since the elder decided to coop himself up in his studio, opting to rarely taking a step out. However, Jeongguk did remember an instance or two during the week where his resolve broke with a few gentle scolds from Seokjin.
Jeongguk smiled to himself as Yoongi shifted slightly to lean his weight on the younger, throwing his legs over the right side of the couch. He knew Yoongi was stressed from his flow of creativity suddenly ceasing right before their comeback and he hoped that his presence was enough to reassure the elder that he was silently supporting him.
They weren’t in front of cameras so Yoongi had no expectations to fulfil, no cold demeanour to maintain and that’s the only reason he allowed their maknae to wrap his arm around his waist without protesting. Although he pretended like he didn’t care, Yoongi secretly needed this kind of comfort and for some reason, whenever he craved such physical affection, Jeongguk was always there to give it to him. It was like the younger was reading his mind. He looked back and was met with Jeongguk’s soft smile but Yoongi knew he was trying to fight his exhaustion as well.
“You should go back to the dorms and get some sleep.”
“I’m okay, hyung. I like it here.”
“Are you sure?” Yoongi frowned and Jeongguk hummed softly in reply.
Jeongguk felt the elder narrow his eyes before turning back to the scrapbook on his lap, tapping the paper a few times, no new inspiration coming to him. After a while of drawing random lines and patterns on the page, Yoongi gave up and threw the scrapbook and pen on the table with a disappointed sigh. He leaned back to rest his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder, finding comfort in the younger’s strong physique. The maknae smiled fondly at the elder’s actions and began running his hand slowly along Yoongi’s arm in another attempt to console him. He felt Yoongi relax more into his embrace, letting most of his weight be held up by the younger.
Even though Yoongi didn’t usually confide in any of the members for help, let alone their maknae, the fact that Jeongguk was trying to reassure him that everything was okay through his silent company was something the elder would always grateful for. Jeongguk was extremely meticulous when it came to the members’ emotions and knew exactly when and when not to speak. Their maknae always knew what to say to lift a member’s mood and that was an attribute of the younger Yoongi highly respected. Even though he wasn’t one to voice it, he hoped Jeongguk knew how much everyone appreciated his presence.
“You’re heavy, hyung,” Jeongguk joked.
“Says you,” Yoongi said, grinning when he heard the maknae huff childishly. He could almost feel Jeongguk pouting. Almost.
They sat again in silence again as Jeongguk let Yoongi dwell in his thoughts. He knew what it felt like to be disappointed in one self. It felt pathetic and weak but no matter how hard you try to push it away, it just won’t leave. Disappointment drains you. It enslaves you. Yet you still find solace in it. It’s more of an experience if anything.
With their success, there was no doubt a lot of love, desire and passion but also plenty hate, failure and disappointment. It was a painful journey but it was one they all had to take. None of them were strong enough to cope with all the emotions on their own though and sometimes they just needed someone to lean on. In those times, Jeongguk vowed he would always try his best to be that someone. The someone they could rely on, trust and expose themselves to.
“Jeongguk-ah…”
“Mhm?”
“How much longer do you think our success will last?”
“What?”
“When do you think people are going to finally lose interest in us and move on?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Do you think we’ll still be together after ten years?”
“Yes,” Jeongguk answered confidently this time.
Then it was silent again. It wasn’t comfortable like before but slightly deafening, a sound Jeongguk could never grow accustomed to. He wished the elder didn’t have to worry about these things and just live life in ease but he wasn’t one to talk when those thoughts constantly pervaded his mind. At least Yoongi was openly talking about it whereas Jeongguk, himself, would have kept everything inside his own heart.
“I’m sorry. I’m just worried about the future. Scared even.”
“Me too, hyung but we shouldn’t let that fear get in the way of hope and happiness today.”
“You sound like Namjoon,” Yoongi grumbled.
“Learning a thing or two from him wouldn’t hurt,” Jeongguk smiled before offering, “Do you want to get lamb skewers? I’ll treat this time.”
“No, it’s ok. I’m a bit tired,” Yoongi groaned and Jeongguk laughed, heavy tension easing out of the room.
“You can sleep, hyung. I’ll be here.”
Yoongi smiled appreciatively at the maknae’s reassurance before settling further into the couch and Jeongguk. He now had his hand over Jeongguk’s, rubbing small soothing circles, in an unspoken gesture of gratitude. He thought of Jeongguk’s arm as a shield that would protect him from falling too deep into self-doubt and he knew the younger would always be there to lift him up. That fact alone was enough for him to set all his worries aside and let sleep draw him into its welcoming arms.
“Thank you, Jeongguk-ah.”
~~~
Hope is important.
It makes you hold on when you want to give up or let go.
Hope is powerful.
It is the only thing stronger than fear.
Hope is painful.
It is sometimes gone in your deepest moment of need.
J-Hope, his stage name was. His purpose? To be everyone’s hope. To be the sunshine everyone saw in him since their debut. To lighten up the atmosphere when it turned dark. It wasn’t that easy but Hoseok had nevertheless tried his best.
He was currently lying in their practice room, catching his breath over ten consecutive attempts at one of their comeback songs MIC Drop. Hoseok knew he was overexerting himself but if that’s what it took to lessen the stress, it was okay. When he rolled over to push himself up, he groaned painfully as gravity seemed to act down upon him at twice its usual magnitude.
“Hyung, are you ok?” Hoseok heard someone whisper from above.
To be honest, Hoseok was in such deep thought he hadn’t even heard someone enter the room let alone walk towards him and give him a hand. He lifted his head and noticed Jeongguk’s worried face but he knew he wasn’t a very good liar, especially when it came under Yoongi and Jeongguk’s scrutiny. He decided that not answering the question was the best possible way to go so he shrugged and took the maknae’s outstretched hand before letting the younger pull him to his feet.
“What’re you doing here? Thought you went home with the others.”
“Nah, I wanted to stay a bit longer and go over our schedule for the next few weeks again.”
“You look really tired, Jeongguk-ah. Are you sure you don’t want to head back first?”
“I’m okay, hyung. You look like you could use some sleep though,” Jeongguk smiled softly.
“I’m fine,” Hoseok lied back. “I was just taking a break.”
Jeongguk knew the elder wasn’t ‘fine’ but he didn’t say anything and chose to remain in comfortable silence as they both turned to each of their own tasks. He frowned as he noticed Hoseok walked over to the music stereo and restarted MIC Drop before moving back to the centre of the room.
Little did Hoseok know, Jeongguk had actually been standing outside the practice room for the past six run throughs. His heart clenched when he saw the elder’s critical expression as he tried over and over again to perfect his rap at the start. Jeongguk wanted to tell Hoseok that it was perfect in his eyes but he knew the elder would just dismiss the words even if it did make him slightly more relieved. So instead, the maknae skirted around the issue and decided accompanying his hyung would be the wisest choice.
When Hoseok begun dancing, Jeongguk tried to not let his eyes get distracted by the main dancer’s sharp moves and turns and forced them to focus on the sheets of paper in front of him which detailed their group’s schedule for the next few weeks. They had so many music show performances and interviews that every time Jeongguk looked at the paper, the queasiness he was feeling made it seem like the very first time. He sighed after he heard Hoseok finish yet another run through and packed the schedule safely away, hoping that when the time came, it would be less tiring than what was written.
“You done already?” Hoseok asked, eyes widening in surprise.
“Yeah… no? I don’t know,” Jeongguk shrugged indecisively, making his hyung let out a small laugh. “I don’t really want to look at it anymore.”
“Do you want to come dance with me?”
Jeongguk’s whole body was screaming against Hoseok’s offer, his visit to the gym earlier that morning contributing to most of the sore muscles in his body, but of course his mind and heart had to go ahead and betray him with an affirmative answer.
However, as soon as Jeongguk stood, he saw Hoseok beaming at him and he just couldn’t bring himself to hate his own answer. He smiled tiredly and followed his hyung to the centre of the room, beginning of MIC Drop already playing through the speakers. He turned away from the mirror to step into his position and in less than a second his relaxed attitude was replaced with something dangerous.
Through the next four minutes, both of them worked hard to maintain their strong stage personas before finally dropping it when the song ended. Hoseok quickly walked over to stop the music from repeating again and turned to Jeongguk, flashing him a blinding smile which the maknae returned.
“You were amazing, hyung.”
“Did you not just see the way you moved? At this rate that you’re improving, you could give me a good run for my money for that main dancer position.
Jeongguk shook his head vigorously before replying, “You don’t understand. You’re on like another level. I could never beat you.”
Hoseok, seeming very embarrassed by the younger’s compliment, ran towards the maknae and tackled him to the wall, all the while giving off a bright laugh. He wasn’t even surprised when Jeongguk managed to hold most of his weight but closed his eyes to bathe in the tranquillity of the moment and coo quietly at the younger’s praise.
“Hyung you need a shower,” Jeongguk chuckled, scrunching his nose in a faux attempt at being disgusted.
“I don’t stink that much,” he pouted.
“You’re sticky.”
Hoseok pulled off after that with another laugh and followed Jeongguk, plopping himself on the floor next to the maknae.
“Don’t worry, hyung. You’ve got this.”
Jeongguk’s presence next to him was giving him the strength he didn’t know he needed and Hoseok wished the situation was reversed. To him, it meant to be the hyungs looking after the maknae but to Jeongguk, if doing such a small favour for his hyung was enough to see him smile again, he would sacrifice all the sleep in the world. If his hyung was happy, he was happy.
He would be Hoseok’s hope.
“Thank you, Jeonggukkie.”
~~~
“Ow.”
Jeongguk was just about to knock but the leader’s groan had him quickly throwing open the door to Namjoon’s studio, worry etched all over his face. He wasn’t surprised, really, since their leader was always injuring himself but that didn’t make Jeongguk any less concerned.
“Hyung, what happened? Is your head okay?” Jeongguk questioned at their leader who was rubbing the lump on the back of his head.
“Yeah,” Namjoon groaned. “I may or may not have accidentally bumped the table when I went to pick up my headphones.”
“What were they doing on the floor?” Jeongguk chuckled.
“Dropped them.”
Jeongguk shook his head before finally making his way across the room and dropping onto the grey couch.
“You finished recording the back up vocals for Dimple already?”
“Mhm,” Jeongguk hummed.
“Do you need something? Is something wrong?” Namjoon frowned, concern drawing over his gentle features.
“No, no,” Jeongguk quickly reassured the elder. “I just… felt like I haven’t seen you in ages, hyung.”
Namjoon chuckled fondly when Jeongguk ducked his head in embarrassment and he walked over to ruffle the younger’s hair and join him on the couch. Jeongguk wasn’t lying when he said he had barely seen the leader. These past few weeks of preparation for their newest album had left the members rarely seeing each other unless they had dance practice, voice recordings or a photo shoot together. Now that Jeongguk finally had some free time, he wanted to check up on Namjoon because he knew the elder was always the most stressed right before a comeback.
“I’m not disturbing anything, am I?”
“Of course not. I was just thinking when I should do another VLIVE. You sure you don’t want to go back home? Your voice sounds kind of strained.”
“I’m okay, hyung. I’ll just wait for Jin-hyung, Jimin-hyung and Tae-hyung to finish up and head back with them.”
Namjoon hummed in acknowledgement before adding, “If you get too tired, just ask Sejin-hyung to take you home. I think he’s the only one who stayed back. We’ll need all the rest we can get these upcoming weeks.”
“I will. Don’t worry.”
“Pft, I worry about you every day,” Namjoon chuckled as he leaned back to rest his head on the couch and turn his gaze to the ceiling.
“Is something on your mind, hyung?”
“Just harmless thinking.”
“I think your brain needs a break more than me,” Jeongguk smiled cheekily.
“Jeongguk-ah…”
“Mhm?”
“Do you think I’m a good leader?”
Jeongguk frowned, taken aback from the serious question, but he answered without hesitation.
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Without a doubt.”
“Okay.”
“Hyung, what’s wrong? You’ve never asked me that before.”
“I…” Namjoon sighed and Jeongguk, respecting the elder, stayed silent to give him time to collect his thoughts. “I don’t know. Recently, I’ve been wondering if I deserve this position at all. I’m lacking in so many aspects. Do I say the right things in our interviews? Is the way I deliver our acceptance speeches the right way? Are we taking our lyrics too far? Is it wrong to say such things?”
“Hyung, you told me this a few weeks ago. There’s no such thing as right and wrong. The ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ people use are determined by social standards. I know I’ve told you this before but I’ll say it again, there has never been a time, not even a slightest moment, where I lost faith in you… in any of us. Nothing you’ve said or done has ever disappointed me, I mean if you ignore all the things you’ve broken,” Jeongguk joked, making Namjoon chuckle light-heartedly. “And I truly believe that you’ll always make me proud. Also, I’m sorry about the international interviews. We know they put you under so much stress so we’ll try harder to learn and improve our English so all the pressure doesn’t fall on you. As for our lyrics, I don’t know if they’re right or wrong to the society but I think that we made the right decision in writing them. … Just because you have all your responsibilities and duties as our leader, it doesn’t mean you can’t rely on us sometimes, you know that, right?”
“……”
“I’m sorry. I crossed the line, didn’t I? I was being obnoxious. I-“
“No-“
“I shouldn’t have said those to you, I’m s-“
“Jeong-“
“Sorry, please don’t be mad. I’ll-“
“Jeongguk,” Namjoon said firmly to stop the younger male from rambling and he tried to hold back his smile when Jeongguk squirmed under his gaze. “I’m not angry.”
“You’re not?” Jeongguk asked timidly, voice quieter than a whisper.
“Yeah, I was just a bit shocked because I didn’t expect those words to come from you. Yoongi, I would understand but definitely not you. I mean you’re still so young and you have your own problems to deal with but here you are listening to mine.”
“You can talk to me too. I’m not that young anymore.”
“I know, I know. But no matter how old you grow, you’ll forever be Bangtan’s baby maknae,” Namjoon chuckled as he bopped Jeongguk’s nose and the younger’s pout disappeared. “We’re all busy so learn English at whatever pace suits yourself. Don’t push too hard, ok?”
“I won’t but don’t change the topic,” Jeongguk scolded jokingly. “You’re a great leader, Namjoon-hyung. In my eyes, in the members’ eyes and in everyone else’s eyes as well. It’s ok if you think you’re lacking because we all are. We’re always extra critical of ourselves but no one can be perfect.”
“I’m only a good leader because of the six of you made me one.”
Jeongguk couldn’t even express how much the words touched his heart. Instead of Jeongguk comforting his leader, how did the situation turn the other way around? But although Jeongguk didn’t know this, seeing the maknae’s smile eased Namjoon’s mind and heart and effortlessly boosted his mood as his fatherly instincts overcame his worries. With his concerns washed away, all he felt was the need to spend more time with the group because he remembered that they were all that mattered.
“Thank you, Jeongguk-ah.”
~~~
"Jeonggukkie, have you eaten yet?”
“Not yet.”
He had.
“Do you want to go eat with me?”
“Sure.”
What?
It was like instinct forced Jeongguk to say yes but on the bright side, he could at least monitor Jimin and ensure that his hyung was eating enough.
“Are you craving anything in particular?”
“Not really. You can choose.”
Finally not a lie. Jeongguk patted himself on the back.
“I’ll treat you to barbeque then.”
Oh no. Why had Jeongguk chosen this day to eat plenty of snacks for his dinner and so early at that? His hyung was going to treat him to meat. Free meat. But he was going to waste this opportunity since he couldn’t actually eat much.
While he pretended to be exhilarated on the outside, his stomach was crying at its mistreatment. Jeongguk hadn’t been feeding it much these few days and it was devastated at the fact that it could have finally been filled with real food. Nevertheless, he put on a happy face as he followed Jimin to the front door of their dorm. Jeongguk was dressed in his usual clothes and although it was nearly autumn, the loose white t-shirt and black jeans would be enough to keep him warm. As their popularity was rising steadily, Jimin and Jeongguk didn’t think twice before grabbing an essential mouth mask and finally exiting.
They walked in mutual silence for a few minutes both males too deep in their thoughts to realise it. Jeongguk occasionally glanced at his hyung and smiled when he noticed his healthy weight. The members had taken turns watching Jimin during their meals after they found out about his eating disorder and self-esteem issues.
“Are you tired?” Jimin frowned when Jeongguk yawned.
“Nah, I’m okay,” Jeongguk smiled and Jimin nodded hesitantly.
Arriving at a restaurant in the quieter districts, Jimin quickly pulled Jeongguk inside. The waitress had gasped when they took off their mouth masks but Jimin asked her to quieten down and requested for a table in the corner. She hastily agreed and led them through the tables and gestured for them to take a seat before handing them the menu.
“Pork belly?”
“Sure. Whatever you want, hyung,” Jeongguk smiled.
“Mmk,” Jimin hummed. “Soju?”
“Hyung, we have dance practice tomorrow,” Jeongguk chastised playfully.
“Oh, I forgot. Let’s order then,” Jimin chuckled before pressing the call button on their table.
The girl scrambled over again and took their order. After Jimin gave her back the menus, a waiter came over to set the table with bowls and their side dishes. He glanced between Jimin and Jeongguk, recognition gracing his face as both idols sent him a small smile and nod. The next time he returned, it was with their food and setting it gently on the grill, he handed the tongs and scissors over to the pair who thanked him before he left.
“I can’t remember the last time we went out for a meal, just the two of us.”
“Me too. We haven’t had any since last comeback… we’re too busy now,” Jeongguk sighed.
“And when we do have days off, you’re always sleeping,” Jimin teased.
“Hey,” Jeongguk pouted.
“I’m joking. You’re always pushing yourself so hard, you deserve the rest.”
Jeongguk smiled and gave Jimin a ‘see?’ look to which the elder rolled his eyes before turning his attention to the meat, flipping the pieces when he deemed cooked. Then the waiter came back with their two bowls of rice and Jeongguk eyed the table regretfully. Their comeback was coming up and he couldn’t afford to gain so much weight but he didn’t want Jimin to feel bad. Maybe, he could just balance the intake and distract the elder with food so he wouldn’t notice how little Jeongguk was eating.
He nodded in determination, taking the tongs from Jimin and taking over the duty of grilling the meat and vegetables. When they were cooked, Jeongguk lathered the elder’s rice bowl with pork belly and an assortment of vegetables, giving the meat in a ratio of three to one. Jeongguk was the one, of course.
Jeongguk smiled victoriously when Jimin didn’t seem to realise the unfair portions before turning to his own bowl of food and forcing it down. It wasn’t as bad as he thought but it sat uneasily at the bottom of his stomach, causing him to feel a bit nauseous but again, he put a smile on his face when Jimin asked him if he was ok.
Jimin, to Jeongguk’s absolute delight, took the tongs and laid the remaining meat into his own bowl. Jeongguk had already finished his rice and sat watching the elder eat, occasionally whispering a few statements to each other, some about their comeback, others about life in general. His stomach had fortunately settled down a bit over the rest of the dinner and he wasn’t feeling as sick as before.
At the end, like he had promised, Jimin walked to the front to pay the bill. Together, they put on their mouth masks and headed out into the night to return home.
“Hey…”
“Yes, hyung?”
“Can you be honest with me?”
“Yeah?” Jeongguk frowned.
“When I asked you to eat with me… you had already eaten, hadn’t you?”
“I… yeah… I’m sorry I lied.”
“No, don’t apologise, Jeongguk-ah.”
“I-“
“Just tell me next time, ok? I’ll still drag you out with me and make you watch as I eat,” Jimin joked.
“Ok, Jiminie,” Jeongguk chuckled.
“It’s hyung to you.”
“Ok, Jimin-hyung,” Jeongguk teased, ensuring he stretched out the ‘hyung’.
The elder chuckled and ruffled Jeongguk’s hair, not caring how the strands fell out of place.
Jimin was grateful he had Jeongguk. The maknae had discovered that he was always most stressed before comebacks when they were told to lose weight but Jimin had sometimes completely forgotten to eat. When Jeongguk found out a few comebacks ago, he made sure to pay extra attention to Jimin and the elder had realised. Though neither admitted it, they both enjoyed each other’s company and the routine dinner nights before their comebacks were one of the things they valued.
“Thank you, Jeonggukkie.”
~~~
“See you tomorrow, Jeonggukkie,” Taehyung said with a fake smile.
“Ok. Goodnight, hyung.”
“Goodnight.”
Jeongguk frowned as he watched Taehyung’s retreating figure disappear at the end of the corridor.
It was getting late in the night but it was just Jeongguk and his youngest hyung home. The others seemed to be delayed in returning home due to their individual schedules which meant Jeongguk had originally been looking forward to spending quality time with Taehyung. What he hadn’t predicted was how tired Taehyung had seemed when he excused himself from dinner and headed back to his room. Jeongguk sighed in disappointment and loneliness as he cleaned up their dishes and wiped down the table.
He had really wanted to stay up playing video games with Taehyung like they always had but if the elder was tired, Jeongguk wasn’t going to disturb him. They were both exhausted from all the comeback preparation and Jeongguk was mature enough to not bother Taehyung or nag him to play with him.
Jeongguk trudged to his own bedroom, shoulders slouched and head down but as he passed Taehyung’s room, he wished he hadn’t.
Even through the thick walls, Jeongguk could hear the distressed sobs and weak whimpers which was unmistakably Taehyung’s. Jeongguk’s heart faltered for a second. How could he have not noticed that Taehyung was this upset at dinner? He had barely eaten two bites before he left but Jeongguk had merely thought it was because the elder was lacking in energy.
The door to Taehyung’s door was closed and Jeongguk didn’t want to knock and interrupt the elder so he sat himself against the door, waiting for Taehyung to let everything out. If he entered, he predicted the elder would most likely stop crying and put on a brave face so although it hurt Jeongguk to just sit and listen to everything, he willed himself to stay. He rested his chin on his knees and fiddled uncomfortably with his fingers, hoping that Taehyung would stop crying soon because seeing, or hearing, his hyungs like this hurt him more than anything else in the world.
When the elder’s cries died down, Jeongguk stood and picked up the courage to knock softly on the bedroom door.
“Hyung… can I come in?”
Jeongguk didn’t hear a reply and leaned his head against the door.
“Please, Tae-hyung.”
This time he heard a muffled whimper and took it as an invitation so he slowly opened the door. Even though the room was completely void of light, Jeongguk could still discern the fragile frame of Taehyung’s body, shivering and shaking under his blankets.
“Hyung.” Jeongguk whispered as he approached to the elder’s bedside.
Jeongguk knew physical affection was the best way to comfort the elder so he didn’t wait for Taehyung’s consent to climb into bed with him. He slowly peeled the blankets, which his hyung held tightly to himself, away and pulled Taehyung in for a hug, not saying a word as he offered him his support with gentle pats on the back. Jeongguk smiled softly when Taehyung buried his face into his neck, not even complaining when he felt his hyung’s tears damping one of his favourite white shirts. Taehyung’s hand came up to desperately find purchase on Jeongguk’s chest and the maknae happily let his hyung squeeze his shirt into random creases.
As they lay there, Jeongguk started singing Working, a rendition of Zion.T’s Yanghwa Bridge he had released after their debut but as he reached the chorus, Taehyung’s sobs became heavier and Jeongguk froze.
“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk whispered out of guilt and shock but also confusion.
“It’s f-fine. K-Keep singing,” Taehyung tried to say.
Jeongguk hesitantly continued and when he silently read the lyrics over in his head, he realised why Taehyung was crying. Out of all the cover songs Jeongguk had sung, of course he had to go and choose the one that would make Taehyung unhappier. When he finished the song, he waited for Taehyung to calm down before speaking up again.
“It’s ok, hyung. I miss them too.”
Taehyung sighed shakily and pulled on Jeongguk’s shirt harder.
“I haven’t seen my parents in so long. I wish I was there to watch my siblings grow… I feel like a horrible son and brother.”
“Don’t say that, hyung. Just because you can’t watch them grow up doesn’t mean you’re a horrible brother. I’m certain your siblings respect you and see you as their role model. And your parents, they should understand more than your siblings how busy you are. Everyone knows how much you love and treasure your family, so please stop feeling like you haven’t done enough for them.”
“I miss them so much,” Taehyung whispered.
“Me too.”
Taehyung sighed again as he wrapped him arms around Jeongguk’s waist.
“I’m sorry for bothering you. You must be tired from our schedules these past few weeks.”
“I’m fine, hyung but please don’t say that as well. You’re not a bother,” Jeongguk scolded gently. “If you ever need someone to just cuddle with, you can always ask me, ok? I’m not going to reject you. I’m the one who should apologise for bothering you. I know you wanted to be alone-”
“No,” Taehyung interrupted. “I didn’t want to be by myself.”
“Oh…” Jeongguk replied dumbly.
Taehyung chuckled when Jeongguk said no more and ran his hands up and down the younger’s back.
He felt safe in the maknae’s arms and he was slowly letting sleep win the fight over him. They both knew their hyungs were going to coo over them tomorrow morning but for now, neither wanted to detach themselves out of the warm presence of the other. Taehyung kissed Jeongguk’s forehead lightly, laughing when the younger scrunched up his face in faux distaste. He purposely pecked Jeongguk’s nose and waited for him to scrunch up his face again but all he saw was the bunny smile that he adored. Although Taehyung was completely out of energy from work and from crying, he managed to return a small smile, leaning forward to kiss Jeongguk’s cheek this time.
Jeongguk was his family too. His younger brother. And Taehyung loved him.
“Thank you, Jeonggukkie.”
~~~
Golden maknae.
‘The golden maknae, indeed.’
‘Jeongguk’s good at everything.’
‘There’s nothing Jeongguk can’t do.’
Those thoughts haunted Jeongguk since an early age. Whenever he did something, he had felt pressured to do well because he needed to uphold his title. That was one of the main reasons Jeongguk saw everything as a challenge. He didn’t want to be the anchor that held the group back and that explained why Jeongguk poured two hundred percent into everything.
It started with a couple of nightmares. Jeongguk was tormented with the fear of failure and disappointment.
Luckily, however for Jeongguk, he shared a room with himself which meant no one knew when he woke up every night in a puddle of cold sweat and a fast beating heart. He would sit against the wall, staring at nothing in particular as he hugged his own knees. Whenever he closed his eyes he was met with the image of his hyungs kicking him out of the group.
He groaned as he rolled over and checked his phone. 6:13am. No one would be awake and they didn’t need to be since they had most of the day off. Their comeback was today which meant the group would gather around and react to their own music video, DNA, as soon as it was released.
Jeongguk remembered asking the production team to give him less lines but he had still ended up with the most lines. He sighed as he jumped out of bed and headed to his closet. Throwing on a white shirt and black jeans, he leaned his elbows onto his knees and scrolled through Twitter to see what he had missed out in the few hours he was asleep. Most of the excitement was about their comeback and Jeongguk couldn’t help but feel proud but also slightly worried at the thought of their album and whether their fans would enjoy it as much as him.
After Jeongguk spent a few hours by himself, he heard the sound of people moving around the house and left his bedroom to have breakfast with whoever was up. He greeted his hyungs when he entered the kitchen and they chuckled at his wild hair although theirs didn’t look much better.
It was unusual how quiet they were but they were all just nervous at the prospect of their comeback.
Jeongguk didn’t even know how the day passed so quickly but soon he was sat between Yoongi and Namjoon and looking at the laptop which the staff had placed in front of them. The music video for their title song was going to released in less than a minute and they were waiting behind the screen with anticipation.
As soon as the video was up, Taehyung clicked on it and they watched with bated breaths as their company’s logo played. The first face to show was Jeongguk’s and they all commented on how good-looking he was. Though Jeongguk didn’t show it, he was smiling happily beneath his mask of nonchalance. Jimin had made a remark on Jeongguk’s noticeable weight loss and the maknae nodded at his hard work of losing five kilograms.
Throughout the rest of the video, the members voiced out their opinions of each other and the surprising use of CGI. Jeongguk remained quiet as he analysed the music video by himself, criticising himself every time he believed he could’ve improved a dance move or facial expression. However, instead of suffering from those thoughts and letting them eat his mind, he just made mental notes on how to improve in the aspects he thought was lacking. When the video finally came to an end, Jeongguk nodded in content. He had done the best he could and he was satisfied of the overall outcome of the video.
One by one, the members started gathering their belongings, getting ready to head home as their day was over. Whenever he passed one of his hyungs, they praised him for his effort and good work and Jeongguk couldn’t help feeling proud to receive their approval.
They separated and hopped into their manager’s cars and let them drive back home. He was sitting with Seokjin, Yoongi and Namjoon in the car and they talked about how pleased they were with the video and the album in general, hoping that their fans felt the same way. Jeongguk expressed his thoughts every now and then but left most of the talking up to the excited leader.
When they arrived back home, Seokjin immediately ran to cook a celebratory dinner, ordering no one to help him because he wanted to do it by himself. Jeongguk chuckled and told his oldest hyung to call him when he was finished before returning to his own room to watch the video again and maybe read a few comments from fans.
He jumped onto his welcoming bed and pulled out his phone. The battle with his tangled headphones delayed him for a minute or so before he could fluff up his pillow and relax on it. Jeongguk looked at the video and saw it already had a few million views, appearing like it could easily surpass their record from Not Today. Smiling, he clicked on it and tilted his phone sideways.
When he finished the video for the second time, he closed the Youtube app and opened Twitter, looking forward to seeing their fans’ reaction. He scrolled the first few posts where all the fans were quote, dying, and chuckled quietly at the joke. However as he scrolled further and further, an uneasiness crept its way into Jeongguk’s mind. The first few insults were dismissible but as he continued down the tweets, they became more cruel and more hurtful.
‘Why does Jeongguk always hog all the lines? I feel bad for the other members.’
‘I’m so sick of seeing Jeongguk’s ugly face.’
‘This is literally becoming Jeongguk ft. BTS. He’s so selfish.’
‘Why hasn’t Jeongguk gone solo yet? Can’t someone just kick him out of BTS?’
‘#JeonggukleaveBTS #OT6BangtanBoys’
The maknae frowned at the hash tags and when he clicked on them, he instantly regretted it. The links led him to more hateful remarks made by people who claimed to be ARMYs.
Jeongguk couldn’t read anymore. Shutting his phone, he turned the volume of his music until it was deafening and curled into a small ball on his bed. He knew he shouldn’t have taken the comments to heart because there were no doubt anti-fans in their fandom but he couldn’t help it when his heart sunk into the depths of an unknown abyss.
His hyungs were nothing less than supportive and that should’ve been all that mattered but why? Why was there such a heavy feeling in his chest?
People needed to know how powerful words were because they hurt him. Jeongguk forced the tears back into his eyes when he felt them blurring his vision. He didn’t want to be weak. He didn’t want to be the reason that ruined his hyungs’ celebratory night by being the centre of attention. He didn’t want to be selfish.
He sighed and wiped away whatever managed to escape his tightly shut eyes. He made sure his breathing was even just in case anyone decided to interrupt his alone time. It was a smart move with very lucky timing because Hoseok burst in a few seconds after his façade was ready for show.
“Jeongguk-ah, Jin-hyung is nearly done. Let’s go eat.”
“Ok, hyung. One second.”
Jeongguk waited for Hoseok to leave before taking his earphones out and tidying his hair. He pocketed his phone and dragged himself into the kitchen where the members were either setting the table or helping Seokjin finish up the meal. Jeongguk took a deep breath and plastered on a wide smile as he approached the busy group.
“Hyung, do you need any help?” he asked Seokjin.
“It’s ok, Jeong- actually wait. Can you see what’s taking Hoseokie and Jiminie so long?”
“Mhm,” Jeongguk nodded before he headed to Jimin’s room.
When he entered the room unannounced, he saw both of his hyungs sitting on Jimin’s bed frowning at their phones. Jeongguk backtracked and knocked the door as a signal of his arrival and he almost flinched when they whipped their heads up at an alarming speed.
“What’s wrong? Jin-hyung told me to get you guys because you were taking too long.”
“Oh,” Jimin smiled sheepishly as he hopped of the bed.
Hoseok was still frowning and staring unsurely at Jimin but the younger gestured for him to hurry up. Jeongguk smiled before he headed back first and notified Seokjin that the other two were coming soon.
He then took his seat at the table where Yoongi, Namjoon and Taehyung were already staring hungrily at the food. Jeongguk felt like he was at a buffet from the number of dishes there were and the amount of each. When Hoseok and Jimin strolled into the room, Taehyung playfully ordered them to ‘get a move on, grandpas’ because he was starving. That earned him a laugh from Hoseok and a whack on the arm from Jimin but he let out a gleeful chuckle nevertheless.
A cheerful conversation travelled between the members as dinner started and Jeongguk ensured to input some jokes at times so they wouldn’t be suspicious of him. He tried to stomach as much food as he could because he didn’t want to disappoint Seokjin who had spent so much effort cooking for all of them but the more he ate, the worse he felt. Jeongguk slowed his pace, trying to participate more in the ongoing conversation so it wasn’t obvious how he was only eating the rice in his bowl.
However, before Jeongguk could say much, he felt an odd feeling at the back of his mind. It wasn’t the first time it had been there so Jeongguk immediately knew what it was when he felt the inklings.
Doubt.
He didn’t even realise that he had completely stopped eating until, Yoongi, who was next to him, nudged his shoulder gently. Jeongguk blinked out of his daze and turned to look at the elder with a small smile.
“What’re you thinking about, kiddo?”
“Nothing. I guess I just blanked out,” Jeongguk lied.
Jeongguk hated lying and he hated it even more when it was to his hyungs but in this instance, he deemed it necessary so he shoved away the guilt melting through his heart. He needn’t feel like this when he was lying for his hyung’s benefit.
With the mixture of emotions, Jeongguk no longer felt hungry and the food was far from appetizing in his eyes. He just wanted to sleep his feelings away but he would have to get through his hyungs’ scrutinising eyes first. They had been together for several years now so any slip of his actions or words would notify his hyungs of his odd behaviour and they’d know something was wrong.
Jeongguk couldn’t have that.
“Are you full?” Seokjin frowned.
“No, I’m just a bit tired,” Jeongguk smiled.
Ok, big mistake right there. Jeongguk didn’t notice how all his hyungs frowned slightly because one, Jeongguk never finished eating first due to the amount he ate and two, he would never admit he was tired unless they forced it out of him and by now, they’ve realised he would use ‘tired’ as an excuse.
“Is it the food?”
“No, no, hyung. The food is really good…” Jeongguk quickly reassured. “I really am just tired. I think I’m going to go to bed first.”
How is it possible that he keeps giving himself away? Jeongguk was also never first to bed unless their schedule had allowed him little rest or they had wanted him to sleep so no one woke him up from his afternoon nap. He stood up before any of his hyungs could say more and carried his empty bowl to the sink. Although he hadn’t touched half of the dishes, at least he finished his rice.
When he retreated back to his bedroom, he finally felt relieved hiding behind the safe confines of the walls. He dropped onto his bed and pulled the blankets around him as he buried his head into his pillow. Jeongguk didn’t like the mixed feelings inside himself. He wanted to throw all his unhappiness out of the window but that wouldn’t solve anything. Not expecting anyone to bother him, he jerked in surprise when he heard knocks on his door and what he also hadn’t expected was his hyung’s melancholic voice calling out his name.
“Jeongguk-ah…”
It was Namjoon.
“I know you’re not ok.”
“......”
“You saw them, didn’t you?” Namjoon whispered. When Jeongguk didn’t answer him, he knocked again. “Can you let us in, please?”
“I want to be alone.”
His voice came out muffled due to his position under his blankets but they heard him and it broke their heart. Their maknae sounded so weak and miserable.
“Jeonggukkie, please.”
“No,” Jeongguk protested hesitantly.
”Hyungs want to see you.”
That did it. Jeongguk’s resolve broke and he jumped out of the blankets, carefully opening the door to let the leader in. However, he was too distracted by his own thoughts before that he hadn’t really paid much attention to Namjoon’s choice of words. Thus, he stumbled back in shock when he was faced with not just one hyung. On any other normal occasion, Jeongguk would be terrified to find all six hyungs crowding outside his bedroom with various degrees of concern on their face but right now, Jeongguk only felt responsible for interrupting their celebration. His hyungs also felt overwhelming guilt when they saw their maknae’s shrinking form but they held themselves back from running to youngest and coddling him with affection.
As Namjoon slowly wrapped his arms around Jeongguk, he felt the younger tense up and he didn’t even relax when Namjoon rubbed lines up and down his back.
“Hyung…” Jeongguk whispered, voice cracking and wavering.
“I know, Jeonggukkie. I’ve got you.”
Jeongguk let his tears fall down freely as he returned Namjoon’s embrace. The others watched quietly as the leader shifted onto the bed and held Jeongguk on his lap, patting the hiccupping boy. He looked so pure, innocent and young curled inside Namjoon’s arms that they had no other thoughts except protecting him from the cruel world. Jeongguk clung onto Namjoon so hard it was slightly painful for the leader but he didn’t complain so Jeongguk didn’t notice.
When Jeongguk’s sobs had mostly ceased to just sniffling and he was trying to bring his hiccups under control, he looked up at Namjoon and then at his other hyungs.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what, sweetie?” Seokjin frowned as he crouched down in front of the cuddling pair.
“I ruined the dinner, didn’t I? You guys were all so happy I didn’t want to interrupt any of you by being sad.”
“Is that why you didn’t tell us? Because you didn’t want to ruin the night?” Jimin spoke quietly.
Jeongguk nodded as his mouth turned down to form a small pout.
“Why?” Jeongguk frowned when the six of them sighed with relief.
“We… we thought you didn’t trust us,” Taehyung said.
“No, I trust you, hyung. I trust all of you.”
“We know, Jeongguk-ah. We know but next time if you feel unhappy, you have to let us know, ok? Your happiness matters to us,” Yoongi murmured, receiving a small nod from Jeongguk.
“How did you know? … About the tweets, I mean.”
“Jiminie and I saw before you came to get us. When we saw you walk off, we realised you must have seen the tweets as well so we told the rest of them,” Hoseok explained.
“Oh.”
This was how their conversation had gone after Jeongguk left the table.
“What happened? He was quite happy after we watched the music video,” Seokjin commented.
“Maybe, he really is just tired,” Namjoon frowned. “I mean, we did work really hard on this album.”
“Actually…” Jimin started, glancing hesitantly at Hoseok.
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asked.
“Well,” Hoseok said as he pulled out his phone. “We might be wrong but have you any of you been on Twitter since the music video release?”
A few shakes confirmed that no one had, indeed, scrolled through social media except for Hoseok and Jimin. Quickly understanding, however, the rest of the group pulled out their own phones and clicked on the blue app. The top two worldwide trending hash tags were currently #JeonggukleaveBTS and #OT6BangtanBoys.
“I’m going to go check on him,” Namjoon frowned as he quickly got up.
“I’m going too,” Yoongi stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
“You guys should stay. I don’t want to crowd him.”
“No, he’s our maknae. We’re going,” Taehyung said, leaving no room for argument.
“But-“
“Namjoon-ah, it’ll be fine. If he doesn’t want us there, then we’ll leave,” Seokjin convinced.
“We all know how much he’s done for us these past few weeks,” Jimin murmured. “Please, hyung.”
“Let’s go. I don’t want him to be alone any longer,” Hoseok decided, ushering a still unsure Namjoon out of the kitchen.
And that’s how all of them ended up inside Jeongguk’s bedroom, watching Namjoon cuddle the young boy.
“Hey,” Namjoon whispered. “You’re never leaving BTS. Not while any of us are alive.”
Jeongguk chuckled and tightened his arms around Namjoon again.
“Do you want to move to the family room so there’s more space?”
“Can we stay here… just a bit longer?”
“Whatever you want,” Namjoon chuckled.
A few more minutes of cuddles full of warm whispers later, Jeongguk reluctantly detached himself from the leader but as soon as he left Namjoon’s arms Seokjin opened his out as in invitation. Jeongguk jumped into the hug and they somehow managed to move to the family room where Jimin and Taehyung had set up a pile of blankets and pillows.
Seokjin gently pushed him towards the other maknaes and watched fondly as Jimin and Taehyung wrestled Jeongguk into another cuddle, consequently making all three of them fall. Jeongguk was trapped underneath his two hyungs and when they attacked him with kisses, he could do nothing but giggle and try and squirm out of their clutches. Out of the corner of his eye, he registered his other four hyungs smiling as they watched over them from the side, not wanting to interrupt the maknae line’s antics.
After laughing at their silliness, they pulled the two older maknaes off of Jeongguk so the youngest could breathe. Yoongi and Hoseok lay down on either side of him, one arm from Yoongi running around Jeongguk’s waist and one hand from Hoseok carding through Jeongguk’s hair. The rest of the group joined the cuddle pile after the three were settled and during those few minutes, all that was heard was the calm sound of their mingled breathes.
“Jeongguk-ah, none of us think you’re stealing the spotlight or anything. You’ve worked just as hard as, maybe even harder than, all of us so you deserve everything.”
“Don’t ever listen to what they say about you.”
“BTS wouldn’t be BTS without you, Jeonggukkie.”
“We’re never going to kick you out of this group.”
“Sorry, kiddo… but it looks like you’re stuck with us.”
“We love you, Jeongguk-ah.”
~~~