Chapter Text
Kanan'd had no idea how his ‘reintroduction’ to Ezra was actually going to work out. He'd simply decided, less then a day and a half post waking up in this familiar but also undeniably different timestream that there was no forced damned way in hades that he could justify *not* going to Lothol in order to try and find his Padawan just as quickly as he could possibly manage it.
Kanan’d honestly had no clue until after he'd reached the base of the old communication's tower though, whether Ezra would even be living there or not, or staying somewhere else in the city. Nor how the now barely eight and a half year old pickpocket would react to a complete stranger showing up and suddenly attempting to befriend him.
Not all that well, Kanan is currently anticipating: strong force affinity between them or not. Trauma after all does not lead to easy trusting. The first several years after his parent's initial disappearance had been especially brutal for his padawan Kanan has always suspected, based both on some of the things Ezra has shared with him over the years....to say nothing of the many, many things his padawan quite deliberately hadn't.
And because of all of that, Kanan has to remind himself to slow the kark down. To try and go slowly...*especially during this all important second first meeting, since the kid will have no reason at all to trust him at least initially. He needs to remember that much like when they'd encountered him the first time around at a bolder fourteen years old, the now smaller pickpocket will likely be cautious but curious...not to mention gunshy and ....completely understandably... wary. Even once he's safely located Ezra Kanan will probably have to watch out for him from a distance for days if not actual weeks before he'll earn the kid's trust ..much less to get their relationship back to the close one it'd been when he'd last seen the older version of him...
He hadn't expected to find, however that the weather in Capital City had turned so karking bitter once he'd finally reached the southern Transport Hub: the accumulating snow drifts already as high as his knees as he leaves the passenger ship he'd secured passage planetside aboard. It isn't just chilly right now in capitol city but dangerously cold he notes with mounting alarm...even as he manages to acquire the last rental scooter and then head straight for the southern outskirts of the city, where the Tower was no doubt being slowly covered in . deep coat of snow or even more dangerously considering Ezra's love of the balcony slippery sleet.
He drives without hesitation... anxious mind thrown wide open for the faintest sense of Ezra's status or location...as his eyes lock just as urgently out in the distance at Force damned BLIZZARD clearly blowing into the city just a few hours behind him.
So Kanan has pictured a lot of possible 'second first meetings' as he makes his way out to Ezra's home (hopefully), but what he most certainly doesn't expect upon arrival is to be greeted as he switches off the speeder by the familiar brush of another Force bright mind against his own, rapidly followed by a rush of what can only be described as ecstatic elation. Just a few moments after that Kanan hears the sound of small, rushed feet on the inner staircase of the structure immediately before Ezra finally bursts from the doorway and then just as quickly the smaller figure is flinging himself forward toward the older Jedi all but babbling. "Kanan! Force...Kark! It's actually you. Thank the moons! Kriff! Kark! Kanan!!" The rapid flood of words spill out past the younger Jedi's lips in an almost melodic, hysterical cadence.
Just microseconds after that, Kanan oomphs softly as a smaller body impacts directly with his own as the older Jedi is basically tackle-hugged at the waist by a quaking, shaking, eight year old who after getting his hands on his Master pretty much attempts to climb him very much like his personal favorite tree.
The kid says and does nothing after doing that though, except to cling to the front of his master, small legs wrapping around the older Jedi's hips as Kanan instinctively lifts him up once he feels how hard Ezra is actually shaking- very much like some kind of tiny alderaanian snow monkey. Skinny arms wrap all but convulsively around Kanan's neck as Ezra buries his face in his Master's left shoulder, and then just as fast his whole body seems to go literally slack with relief.
"You…uh...I take it then that you somehow remember me right now, Ezra?" He forces the question out past a tremendous lump in his throat at the same time as his arms automatically shift in order to better support the weight of his Padawan , one hand coming up to rub the small back a little bit awkwardly. The kid is still shivering, and shivering hard. He pivots automatically as he adjusts Ezra's smaller frame in his grip, putting his back between Ezra and the worst of the wind pretty much out of reflex, even as he looks again toward the storm front rolling steadily closer and closer to both of them.
The tiny head bobs up and down from where it's half buried against his chest in response to the question. "Yeah. Yeah I know who you are Kanan. Though to be completely honest I hadn't expected to see you or any of the others for...well for YEARS really yet." The voice when Ezra speaks is definitely one of a child, but at the same time, both the expression on his face and the maturity in Ezra's words definitely isn't. Nor is the way in which his Padawan does his level best to school his expression and stop the majority of his involuntary shivering. Not that he can...considering Ezra's not more than inches away right now from literally freezing.
Ezra meanwhile just keeps right on babbling..."I...I didn't realize that I wasn't the only one this had happened to Kanan. Had no way to even check. At least, not after the way that I initially woke up here almost two weeks ago in this particular version of my body instead of in my eighteen year old one on the edge of southern ridge rockface like I initially expected to happen when I first stepped us both into the inbetweens unescorted like I'd seen it done several times now by the Loth wolves."
'His eighteen year old body. Ah...' Full understanding dawns then...as well as relief and no small amount of worry. Kanan's clearly not the only one dealing right now then with either literal time travel or one hell of an ongoing prescient force vision. "Ezra what exactly do you remember in terms of both how we met and how we both ended up...well, here I guess?"
Ezra finally pulls back from where his nose has been tucked tightly into the curve of Kanan's neck, wiping a small hand impatiently against suspiciously damp looking eyes as he replies very softly, his expresaion somehow both apologetic and defeated.. "Just that this...all of this...is likely my fault Kanan. And I'm so kriffing sorry. This is obviously why the Loth wolves warned me so many times over the past couple of months not to ever try and step through the 'in between' alone until I'd had a lot more practice ...to always practice the skill with one of them as a guide except for in literal life or death situations. They weren't just concerned like I thought by how badly repeated use seemed to actually drain me..."
Yes. The older Jedi remembers. Mostly because the last two times that Ezra had gone off with the wolves in order to practice the force skill every time that he eventually returned he'd proceeded to sleep twelve plus hours and still look awful afterward basically. The lessona from the wolves had been taxing gor the kid... to the eventual degree that Kanan had seriously considered asking the creature to call of the lessons after the last time around for a few weeks no matter how useful that particular force gift might be. What good after all was a big gun you were to wrecked to ever pull basically?
'You never got around to bringing the subject up with them though...and now you're both regretting that decision. Massively. Though on the bright side this at least explains some of Kanan's most recent patchy group of future leaned memories.
"So then...I am going to just assume that the two of us did make it into the cave system that you spotted at the start of the raid, but then the bucketheads started bombing the range we took cover in from above. Until what exactly Ezra? The whole cavern became unstable, and forced you to make a last ditch effort to step sideways in order to get us to safety? After I'd already lost consciousness myself presumably?" And Force, Kanan thinks but he can't help but wish right now that he just had clearer access to his own memories from around the time of said attack, but no, everything is foggy right now in a way that he knows means that just before Ezra took that huge leap of faith, Kanan? Had managed to secure himself a massive concussion.
Ezra meanwhile just nods, and coninues on frantically babbling. "That's my best guess about what happened anyway... I mean the wolves never really explained it all coherently. Even with with my gift for connection Master there's a kark of a language gap in terms of me getting it...at least entirely... but..." "It just makes sense that this was probably what they were talking about," Kanan fill in the rest of the words for Ezra very simply. The younger Jedi nods, "Yeah...because like you said yourself, Kanan most physicists like to say that time and space are helplessly intertwined... So I guess with some hindsight that it makes sense that moving through one of those two spaces improperly may lead to moving unintentially through the other if you don't know exactly what you're doing. That acknowledged..Sith hells like i said before I'm sorry Kanan! Yeah I knew back when I made the decision that it was a risky thing for me to try - but the plain cold truth of the matter is that our only other option seemed to be staying and dying. The ceiling above us in the cavern was crumbling beyond my ability to shield us from it indefinitely... and you were bleeding bad Kanan ...like it was going to require a transfusion and quickly. It was either I try to get us both out of there in exactly the way that I did or we could both just stay put and ultimately get crushed by falling debris. Side stepping seemed best ...it was the only idea I could come up with at the time. I mean I'd been hit on the head pretty hard too...I was lucky I had enough focus to even try it honestly."
Tiny hands start to frantically pat at the front Kanan’s chest, shoulders and arms then, eyes speaking the older Jwdi assessing. "Speaking of which... Are you actually *all right?!* Because you took a really nasty blow to the head back in that cave ...and your left shoulder looked like it got broken as far as I could see..."
The older Jedi finally interrupts, then cutting off the rapid flow of words, albeit gently. "I'm fine, Kid. I promise. Take a deep breath and try and slow it down. When I woke up here myself I didn't have a single scratch literally anywhere on me." Kanan finally prys Ezra free from his deathgrip then, gently easing him back onto the snow covered ground then stepping back and reaching out in order to squeeze the younger man's shoulder reassuringly while he simultaneously broadcasts as much calm and peace as he can down their link. "I'm not hurt at all. Just cold and confused...though honestly that day I had one hell of a hangover." As well, Kanan acknowledges to himself more then a little bit wryly, as a sleeping companion and whole host of alcoholic withdrawl symptoms that he'd had to deal with while getting rid of said bedmate and securing himself passage as fast as he could get out of the Kabrian system. "Look Kid, I'm sorry that I wasn't able to get to you here once I realized what was going on any more quickly then I did. It ...it took a couple days in order for me scrape together the money that I needed to secure hyperspace passage into this part of space and even once I did have the creds for a fare ...well I was still starting out on a planet nearly halfway across this section of the galactic Rim."
Ezra just waves that apology off with a huff, clearly not in the slightest bit offended. "As I already said it's fine, Kanan. Li I managed okay on my own - it's not like I haven't ever had to do so before. I know how to survive on my own. It's been a little rough at times, yeah, but not awful...just COLD. And yeah kinda lonely." The small boy's cheeks heat to scarlet red then, his expression shifting to something Kanan can only label as sheepish. "I'm...look, I'm really sorry about tackling you earlier in the way that I did. I just got kind of ...well... bowled over by all the shock and the emotion of the moment. I really didn't expect that I'd actually see...uhm like I said before...I thought it'd be longer before our actual reunion."
And that fact, Kanan supposes, makes Ezra's initial reaction more than understandable. After all nobody in their right mind is going to be left completely unfazed by a sudden bout of unexpected time travel. Especially not with massive physical and biochemical changes to cope with as well, which Kanan doesn't doubt for a moment are also aggravating the younger man's responses at the moment.
After all, with just a little distance and personal retrospective himself, Kanan is more than humble enough to acknowledge that he at least, had gotten to wake up as an adult, while the same definitely can't be said for his apprentice. Mid thirties to mid twenties vs late teens to age age are entirely different sorts of animals. Not only that, Kanan knows, but massive hormonal and physical changes set aside, he's also smart enough right now to recognize that Ezra's probably also high as a kite right now as well without considering any of the rest of the above on a crazy cocktail of stress hormones, low blood sugar and probably chronic exhaustion.
Kanan's honestly surprised right now that Ezra's acting as collected as he seems to be at the moment. Because while Kanan had woken up with a roof over his head and his lightsaber safely tucked into the bottom of his bag, Ezra had woken up to nothing but his tower and isolation. Which made any calm he'd maintained at this point...well Buhdda level basically. After all, when Kanan himself had first woken...once he'd realized that yes, it was ten years in the past and surprise surprise... he could see because his eyes werw fully functional again...well...he’d just about had a kriffing heart attack in reaction. Once he’d finally stopped a highly embaressing round of hyperventilation - and after long several minutes of staring at his much younger face in the mirror and then the date on the chronocalendar for at least half an hour in disbelief - he'd finally acknowledged that no - this all wasn't just the result of some kind of prolonged fever dream, or booze inspired hallucination. He'd realized shortly after that... While looking over at an unhealthily good looking bottle of whiskey on his desk that he now had only two vaguely viable long term options...
One: he could try and pretend that none of what he was remembering had actually happened - that the future he'd experienced had been nothing more than a force vision or a particularly vivid hallucination - and then he could forcibly climb back into said bottle until he had that belief shattered when he ran into Hera eventually...
Or two, he could take the life he currently remembered as the literalist ever kick in the ass The Force had ever delivered to him in his life, dump out said booze..along with any more of the same he could find hidden in his hotel room, order himself some food and re-karking hydrate and think this all through...because the Universe had maybe kind just stapled a look at your life and your choices and SQUIRM MOMENT directly to the top of his head.
Kanan had opted for the later OPTION...for reasons he hopes are blindingly obvious at the moment. Then he'd swiftly dumped all the booze he could find in the room, his hands shaking and sweaty as the sink drained- his heart still racing. And after that one good choice? He'd downed a handful of non prescription pain pills along with a couple bottles of electrolyte replacement drink in order to try and fend of his headache, and after that? He'd showered and after cursing at his disgustingly short hair in the mirror for a couple of minutes, gone down to his knees in what amounted to desperate mediatation. And after that point he’d finally risen, drunk a few more bottles of sports drink as well as a hot cup of caf- not what he'd actually wanted at that point of course but he'd know it was still better then the alternative, and then, for lack of any better ideas he'd finally switched on the local newcast while inhaling two take out dinner entrees from the deli across the street.
Every single karking channel that he'd clicked onto in the process had ended up carrying various planetary feeds commemorating Empire Day... Which predictably enough had launched round two of Kanan nearly losing his mind. Because that was the point at which it had finally *viscerally* registered to Kanan that if he was currently barely twenty one years old and fresh off of trying to drink himself to death in a dirty hotel room on Moon Three in this run down little system, then *Ezra* was currently eight years old, and, at least at this stage of his life, surviving by eating scraps out of trash bins around Capital City while Kanan sat there like a Sith Bedamned Bantha's ass watching it happen.
He’d booked himself the first flight out of colony that he could manage after that moment, a bottle of black market Detox-Aid in his coat pocket and his emergency tradeables stash now completely liquidated into Lothalian friendly cred chits ...now tucked safely into his belt pocket along with his still disassembled lightsaber... He'd argued with himself all the way through hyperspace about about the potential chronal consequences of him interfering with Ezra's known past too recklessly. But at the same time? He also hadn’t been able to make himself turn around. Because after all, what else was he supposed to do? Everything that may unfold differently if Kanan goes to find Ezra now comes down to kriffing hypotheticals after all, as opposed to the years and years little horrors (and big ones) that he now knows may happen. Him not going to Lothol would be unforgivable really. Because after all the last time around, Kanan hadn’t known anything about the force-sensetive street rat who would one day literally hijack his way into all of their hearts before the day they first met. Muchless about the ongoing grimness that had marked so much of Ezra's earliest years of existance. Kanan hadn't known about Ezra Bridger the first time around, so he couldn't be held directly morally liable for sitting back and letting all of it happen...
Kanan doesn't have that particular excuse anymore. Just the opposite in fact. So six damn years? Is just too long to be bourne. It's too karking long for Kanan to try and stick a finger into each of his ears, slam shut his eyes and try to pretend that he doesn't know exactly what may be happening.
He'll ask forgiveness of all of later for throwing away the future they'd all once had, but he'll be damned in the meantime if he'll ask anyone's permission. Not to be a decent human being and not let life repeatedly fuck over his kid.
Ezra - who at this point in time is probably less aware of his Master's current train of thought then he is of the steadily worsening weather - wipes one small fist furiously over both of his eyes a second time, muttering various silent curses under his breath as he shifts back and forth on his feet, trying to keep his small frame warm despite the wind whipping ever harder around them. And Force damn it his lips are practically blue. Does he have no actual warm winter clothing?
"Kark. Stupid tears. Stupid little kid hormones. Stupid, stupid, *stupid* me for getting us both into this mess to begin with..." He finally lifts wet eyes from his shoes to his master's face, with a defeated little grimace. "Like I said earlier Kanan, I'm sorry. I screwed up and I'm so karking sorry,."
Kanan squeezes down Ezra's shoulder yet again, hardee this time. His unspoken answer down the link warm and soothing. Because after all, it's not like Ezra really asked for any of this did he? Sometimes the unexpected's just the hand you get dealt. And considering the circumstances he deserves some credit for his intents now doesn't he?
"I'm not mad at you kid. Not even a little. You did the best you could under the circumstances. Yeah everything is kind of a mess right now but it's still preferable to dead. So life threw a spanner in our engines. We'll figure it out. It happens to everybody.. "
Ezra nods a little at that, his body uncurling in response to the gentle words. "Thanks, Kanan. I'm sorry...I'm sorry right now that I'm being such a baby. But Sith Hells - I try, but I just feel so force damned useless ... During these past few weeks especially. I mean I just can't seem to manage to do anything but squeak by essentially. No resources...few contacts...hell even my ability to control my powers right now is wonky. I mean I had plans at first, Master...I intended to try and hunt down the rest of the Pack. I figured that if I could find them then maybe I could also get them to help sort out this whole mess....but then things in town got…so complicated..." Ezra wipes at his eyes yet another time, chews hard on his bottom lip for a moment with his upper row of teeth. "And no matter how desperately I've called out for the pack the past few weeks Master...They're just not answering. Which means that either they don't know that I'm here, they don't care that I am or they can't hear me calling. I mean be fair Kanan the last reported sighting of any of the Lothwolves before they started showing themselves to us again goes back at leasy a hundred to a hundred and fifty years. The pack could be half way across the planet at this point with no way at all to hear us right now and if they are..well just look at me as I am at the moment, Kanan! I can't even get out to the closest of their caves...muchless to the Temple Proper by myself without literally freezing my ass off in the process. Not even using a speeder this upcoming summer when it's warmer then it currently is - because I'm to kriffing short right now to effectively operate it!"
Kanan more then gets the picture. Force powers or not, Ezra’s still currently constrained both by his physical and financial limitations...and all the willpower and intelligence on Lothol hasn't actually changed the fact that right now his Padawan is still physically barely eight full years old, and trying desperately to navigate sucessfully within a society that's umsurprising tailored to the completely reasonable assumption that kids his age shouldn't need to self support. They should have karking parents.
Ezra unfortunately though, has had no such protection, only raw ingenuinity, unusually high intelligence and enough stubborness to knock a bantha reapeatedly back on its ass, all three which are admirable, but life is built on flesh not intent.
By the look of him, Ezra is currently hanging on by the very edges of his metaphorical fingernails...still in shock and terribly isolated and bereft of any real hope...at least up until today that any meaningful help has been coming. Instead the kid has just been repeatedly exhausting every single bit of energy that he has at the moment trying to stay warm and safe and semi reasonably fed.
And Lothol? Had blessed his ongoing efforts by thoughtfully dropping a Sith Bedamned Blizzard right in his lap.
Seriously? Kanan really wants to know...who in the kriff painted a giant target right on the back of this damn kid? Because Kanan really ought to file a damn complaint for this whole mess he thinks.
'Not till later though. For now simply triage the mess.' "Look, come on, kid. Let's get somewhere warmer then this, okay?" Kanan unzips the front of his own winter parka, reaching out to lift the boy back up and off of his feet, then settles Ezra onto to his left hip before tucking his Padawan as best as he can out of the reach of the increasingly howling wind before zipping the jacket up so they can share any lingering body heat. Then Kanan sighs, his narrowing eyes shiftimg to the twin moons at the edge of the dusky sky- both of which have finally started to rise. The snow and cold right now aren't anything more then highly unpleasant - thanks to both his weather appropriate gear and his full.stomach at the moment, but Ezra’s own garb is dangerously close to tattered right now and some of the drifts around them are nearly up to the smaller Jedi's waist. They need adequate shelter, and fast.
"Look, what we both need most right now, Ezra, is just a warm, safe place where we can get under shelter before that gale from the northside blows all the way in." Not to mention Kanan thinks, noting Ezra's current skeletal weight, he needs to get his apprentice both nutritious food and probably a bath given how dirty he is. He winces slightly, not wanting to even think about how long it's been since the poor kid has probably had regular, reliable fresher access.
"I…Uhm...actually need to stay clear of town for the next couple of days or so, Kanan. Gang troubled related shenanigans. So it'd probably be best under the circumstances if we just head upstairs for awhile and wait out the coming storm in my tower. It might get a little cold yeah- but we should be able to handle it fine if you don't mind sharing blankets and body heat. I've already got a few provisions tucked away for t Upstairs that we can just eat our way through for the next couple of days and the wind finally stops Kanan, you can always make the trip back to town to get more supplies when you think that they're needed."
The hair on the back of Kanan’s neck stands up slowly in response to the careful blandness of Ezra's tone... Or rather, it does so in response to the tightness in his face and the poorly hidden tightness of the younger Jedi's current mental shielding, the force stirring around the pair of them in increasing, uneasy ripples ...warning that something bad has either already occured or just as likely, is being positioned to happen. All based on whatever the kid's not saying at the moment.
Ezra...the kid's afraid. Of him? Or for him? Or some strange mix of the two. Either way the kid's stiffening up...withdrawing, even when tucked in warm and safe against him. Two weeks. At least. The kids has spent at least two weeks here on Lothol on his own. 'Carefully Jarrus. Gently. Don't scare him off.' "And why exactly, Ezra do you 'need' to avoid the gangs in Capitol City at the moment?" He keeps his voice carefully neutral as he asks the question...at least initially. The kid does not need any more stress right now - he's under enough pressure as it is. Still Kanan knows better then to let the issue pass without probbing for more information entirely.
The younger Jedi fidgets uneasily for several long seconds, biting down on his lower lip, clearly debating both what and how to share his answer best with Kanan and then the kid sighs very deeply, shifting his gaze deliberately from Kanan's own to the mountains in the middle distance before he speaks up again - with a voice soft and painfully candid. In a detached tone meant to keep his master calm. Which means predictably that it almost inevitably does the complete opposite. "Because, Kanan... there are a few…people... in the western two districts of the city right now specifically who don’t particularly like being told 'no' by smart assed little street rats when they make them 'job offers.' Especially when said street rats are apparently as 'marketable' these days as someone like me. The people in question have basically spent the last six weeks or so agressively trying to recruit me into their operation. I tolf them no quite awhile ago now but every time they track me down 'reoffer,' the resulting conversations get progressively more and more nasty. The guys in question aren't ISF level of asshole but they're taking it personally I'm refusing their offers of work.
Kanan's forehead wrinkles up, "They've been trying to recruit you…into some kind of drug mule role, I take it?"
The kid shakes his head. "I wish. More as a…as contractable ‘entertainment employee'. Which so we're clear on the subject Kanan, was not, is not and *will not ever be* my thing..."
Ezra shifts his eyes back to Kanan after that statement, dull flush rising up as he does on his cheeks. The reassuring smile that he tries to offer his Master is falsely bright - as if he's inviting Kanan to join him in seeing the supposed humor?... of the whole situation, The problem being Kanan doesn't find the implication even the teeniest, tiniest bit funny. Ezra's smile wobbles then, but he bravely pushes on. "On the bright side, Master the individuals in question aren't going be a problem for that much longer. The whole lot of them is going to get run out of the city by the beginning of spring... Well from what I remember of this time period...and this winter in particular is pretty hard to actually forget...
"They were...they ARE trying to 'recruit you' at karking eight years old. As ...as an 'entertainment' employee?!" Kanan feels his arms tighten around Ezra's smaller form instinctively even as his eyes shift back toward the city in the distance...his lips curling back revealing his teeth as well as his fury. The wave of gut level anger at the words isn't all the surprising...Kanan's clearly going to be doing some major letting go later on tonight, but he is a little shocked here in the wake of revelation at the level of karking intensity.
"Yeah...but in their..." The words die off at whatever emotions Kanan's currently projecting, "Well okay not in their defense exactly Master, but still...you have to understand this about Capital City in the time that we're in right now, Kanan. It was...it is ...a pretty common form of winter time street kid employment. Demand was... Is high... and the regular clientele tended to be generous with their money. Or at least that's what some of the other kids said gangs sent out to try and recruit me used to claim when we spoke. I wasn't being single out exactly...not at first at least. And maybe...I don't know...my attitude especially at first did not help much with things. They just...weren't used to someone telling them no...and I didn't exactly do so quietly or politely...which became the bigger issue. I became a threat to their authority...as for tricking Kanan, as I said before...well, I never went there personally... But some of the other kids...some of the ones in harder positions...I try not to really judge the choices they had to make, if you know what I mean. I mean everybody just did what they had to, to survive, to make it to the next day still breathing..."
Kanan sighes deeply at that, cuts of the words before the kid can say any more, because honestly right now, there are only so many ways for his kriffing heart to break. "Ezra, you don't need to try and justify...
"I know that. It's just... Well. I get why some would choose to do it. This was an especiallly bad winter on Lothol, Master The worst I remember there being, actually. Normally in Capitol City the heavy snow stays way further north then this - we get a couple of lighter dustings each season, sure, but you just have to outlast the cold for maybe a couple hard weeks and then the crowds usually pick up again right after. But apparently every couple decades or so there's this regular shift in the solar output patteners, and when they happen it can...get pretty rough. People starve for lack of stored supplies...or lack of heat... The only real option for surviving during those times, well other than hooking anyway is to try and just lay low with a stash of food from the earlier parts of the year. But that requires both a good pickpocketing season and a water tight year round bolthole that no one else can raid or destroy. And those...those are pretty hard to come by actually..."
The kid glances back over his shoulder toward his waiting tower then, with a look so pathetically grateful in his eyes that its all Kanan can manage not to literally scream. Because Ezra...yes Ezra has shared a lot about his history with Kanan, over their initial four years. Gradually of course, and bit by bit: piece by precious miniscule piece. But...but his padawan has certainly never mentioned anything like...like this up until their current conversation. And Kanan can't decide if that fact indicates a massive turning point in their relationship or a massive failure on his own part made clear by the current crisis, speaking frankly.
Ezra sighs heavily as if somehow aware of the current tenor of his master's ongoing thoughts, "Yes Kanan...life sucked sometimes but at the same time...I survived it. It's over. The past...it is what it is. You're the one who taught me that I should leave it behind me.
Kanan feels his chest tighten even further in reaction to sudden age on his Padawan's tired face. No not age, he acknowledges a half a second later...resignation and hard won experience. The only two things that life has ever extended to his Padawan for free. "Who...who *exactly* are these...'people' that are trying to 'recruit' you in town , Ezra? I'd like their names.
Ezra's responds to that question with a sharp, too knowing look toward his master and then a quick negative shake of his head - the kid's shoulders shudder just slightly. "Ohhhhh no, Master. Like I said another couple of weeks and they'll be permanently run outta town. Until that point ...all their names stay with me. Because discretion. Valor. All those other good things you're always telling me."
The beings in question will be gone in a couple more weeks?up until which the two of them are presumably going to just hide out here in Ezra's tower ? Skulking around in the shadows like a pair of frightened loth-rats. Kanan's thinking pretty much no times a googleplex to that. First of all because he doesn't like bullies. Doesn't enable their continued campaigns of emotional torment. Not to even mention the fact that after Force knows how many more days of poor meals and constantly blowing snow, and likely poor sleep on top of that, Ezra'll probably end up even more physically and psychologically compromised by this situation that he has been already. Kanan didn't just come here to just join the chorus he came to change the kriffing song after all, and this is as good a place as any to make an actual beginning.
And so his head shakes no in automatic, emphatic refusal. Because seriously, if this kid thinks for even a minute that either one of them are going to be staying out here during a force damned blizzard with all that as additional context when Kanan's got enough money in his pockets right now to.provide them with better, well then clearly the kid needs a refresher in what having an actual Master means.
"If anyone becomes a problem while we are sheltering in town then I’ll *deal with it* Ezra. Now…you're the one who knows the city as it actually is at the moment: so answer a question for me... Where’s the best hotel or boarding house outside said individuals 'normal stomping grounds' we could afford to stay at through this storm. A safe place with decent food nearby for a decent prive with guaranteed warm water and heat.
Ezra’s face automatically screws up in response to that question... preparing to argue the subject further Kanan's guessing. He simply covers his Padawan's mouth - albeit gently - with his own hand, looking down at him stubbornly. "This argument Ezra? Is one we won't actually be having."
Ezra grumbles behind his master's hand for a moment at that pronouncement, before he reluctantly nods chewing on his lower lip for several seconds in clear, deep contemplation reluctant in his current discontent to actually speak.
Kanan seeing the later, chooses not to respond much to the former since he's well aware from Ezra's expression that his Padawan is actively thinking the question through. Instead he just wait unbending until the kid finally breaks and quietly names an umfamilar hotel located on the opposite side of town. Which according to Ezra may occasionally loose its hot water for a couple of hours but otherwise it should do.
Kanan, noting silently and with incredible relief that Ezra has finally *stopped* shivering even though the temperatures around them are continue plummet, still does the best that he can to block the kid from the worst of the wind as he strides back toward the speeder that he’s rented, turning the engine over once he gets there as quickly as he can manage and wishing as he turns onto the trail back to town that he'd at least had the foresight to bring along a blanket to wrap around the lower half of the kid..
Ezra though just starts.to.fall asleep as the two of them head back in the direction of the capital - his whole body hunkered in against Kanan's broader one for the moment, his small body warm and relaxed and his mind foggy...desperately in need of more rest. Indeed, by the time that the two of them finally make it to the southeastern most border of the city and Kanan glances briefly down in order to check on him, Ezra is literally snoring softly against Kanan's chest; huddled into a warm, sleepy ball of child resting against his master's slowly rising and falling stenum.
Kanan sighs softly to himself in response to the sight, but otherwise makes no effort to wake Ezra for now, instead he simply tugs the zipper of his coat collar up and completely over the top of Ezra's curly mopped head - figuring that there's no real purpose at this point in waking the younger man until they've reach adequate shelter again.
'Let the kid have a few more minutes actual peace.' Because after all the past few weeks have obviously been a literal hell on Lothol. Kanan knows karking well that Ezra's probably been on all but autopilot for days now, tackling things one crisis at time and growing more and more overextended with each day that passed as his reserves grewr smaller and smaller and his situation became more and more desperate.
Six kriffing years. Force. *That's* how long the kid had thought he was going to have to keep it together without any kind of reinforcements. That's a marathon timespan for anyone - to think they'll have to wait for any kind of meaningful relief.
Kanan had certainly never imagined back when he first woke up in this timeline that he'd be thinking anything of this sort, but now with a little bit more perspective he's actually kind of *glad* that he and Ezra had both been trapped together in that cave when it had started collapsing, considering what he now realizes might have been some of the karking alternatives.
"If we both have to endure this road again- this mutual pilgrimage of a sort, well then at least this time around neither of us will have to face it alone.' They'll both have someone now to lighten the load and hopefilly share both the joys and the burdens. 'Loads halved are loads lightened, even when the paths still ahead don't appear all that easy. Still its easier to find and keep a healthy rhythm when you're moving in lockstep.' Granted, Kanan acknowledges, that doesn't mean the situation isn't going to be challenging- for Ezra especially. He's certainly the one most off balance - the one most in need of actual help at the moment. In more ways then Kanan had fully understood initially.
Still, things could have gone much worse then they actually had,. He could have reached Capital City sometime after the blizzard- making it all but impossible for him to find Ezra for several days beyond this. Or worse yet, Ezra could have had another run in with that currently unnamed group of Banthashits who've been harassing him in the city. That group of presumable child pimps, who yes, Kanan is going to eventually be having a nice little chat with. Because he'll get their names out of Ezra eventually. It's that or until they're gone for good the kid'll be going nowhere alone in the whole Force Damned city.
In the meantime though, they’re together again and they're both reasonably safe. That's all that matters .. Well at the moment at leat. .
Tomorrow's problems for tommorow. Today's for Today. Or that's how his Crechemaster used to put it at least. Who knows, once Ezra's cleaned up he might even torture the kid a little by taking him out shopping in the morning. Just for the pleasure of seeing cartooned boots or such on Ezra's feet.