Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jungkook knew that it was late, it was about ten in the evening and he only was coming home now. He also knew that he hadn't told his boyfriend, Min Yoongi, that he was going to be out for the day with his friends.

He unlocked the door and opened it, trying as hard as he could to enter without making a sound. He closed the door behind him, hung his jacket on the wall and walked into the living room.

Yoongi was perched on the couch, scrolling through his phone with a full stomach. It had taken him hours to convince himself to eat without his boyfriend at home. Finally when the clock had struck 8:30 without a text, Yoongi helped himself to a cold dinner.

"Finally home, hotshot?" Yoongi commented from his place as he saw Jungkook try to tiptoe his way out.

"Yeah," Jungkook said as he looked up to look at his boyfriend. He bit his lip, knowing the look on Yoongi's face. Yoongi was annoyed, Jungkook recognized it and he stood still in the doorframe.

Yoongi just hummed and looked down at his phone. It was too late at night to do this. He'd deal with it some other day. "Go get changed. If you want, I put the leftovers back in the fridge. I'm heading to bed soon," he told Jungkook with a voice as devoid of emotion as he could manage.

"Okay," Jungkook said as he looked down at his feet and walked to the kitchen, warming up the leftovers from dinner. He ate half of them, not feeling hungry. The thought of Yoongi being pissed at him filled his stomach with anxiety. He put back the food that he left on his plate and covered it with plastic, going to their bedroom. Yoongi was lying on the bed as Jungkook took his sweatpants and changed into his regular sleeping attire.

Yoongi suppressed the shudder that made its way down his spine every time Jungkook pressed his warm lips to his cold skin. He would be lying if he said he didn't melt when Jungkook wrapped his arms around him but he also felt too bitter to turn around immediately and hug back. He interlocked his hand with Jungkook's instead.

Jungkook just nuzzled into Yoongi's neck and tried to sleep, not being able to fall asleep with the thoughts of Yoongi being mad at him around his head, making him anxious.

Yoongi knew Jungkook felt anxious, the unrelentingly hurried breathing told him that. His mind shut down slowly as it got later in the night and somewhere along the night, he vaguely remembers turning around in bed and wrapping his arms around the shaking figure of Jungkook.

The next time Jungkook got on Yoongi’s nerves it was because Yoongi and Jungkook had planned a lunch together. This one had been on their agendas for the past two weeks.

But Jungkook didn’t show up.

Yoongi didn’t return home that day at all. He instead writes his feelings out in angry raps, heartbreaking melodies, and tired lyrics.

If he had forgiven Jungkook for the earlier event, this time it had all come crashing down and instead of confronting his boyfriend, he stared in the mirror. He looked, looked and looked for reasons Jungkook might be leaving him hanging or is not around him as much. But he finds nothing but himself. Sometimes he wondered if all these days he had just been dreaming of their happiness. He wondered if his love had ever been reciprocated. It hurt, he breaks, but he doesn't speak.

Jungkook worried as he comes home and Yoongi isn't there. He waited for Yoongi to arrive home, but Yoongi never arrived. Not even at 3:26 AM when Jungkook finally gives up on trying to fall asleep and goes back to studying. He looked at his phone again and only then noticed that he had several phone calls, texts and a missed event from his calendar. Jungkook cursed himself as he called up Yoongi's number.

"You've reached the voicemail from-" Jungkook groaned, mixed with his soft sobbing as he presses the red button and called again. But Yoongi doesn't pick up.

Yoongi didn’t pick up, he doesn't open the door to the studio, he didn’t look at the people who walk in using the spare key he had hidden somewhere. He didn’t eat, he didn’t shave. All he did was write, write and write. The sun had risen and set twice but he was oblivious. His phone died eventually, his charger forgotten at home and least important.

His insecurities ate him up alive like a Thanksgiving Day meal. His eyes were bleary, skin even paler than usual. But you wouldn’t find him caring, not when there more important things to think about, like figuring out where he went wrong.

Jungkook worried in his place where Yoongi is. He made a list of places where his older hyung could possibly be and the first place on the list is the studio. It’s always the studio. Jungkook took his wallet and his phone, plus a charger and battery pack. He dressed up in a pair of denim jeans and a warm sweater, paired with his coat, setting out in the direction of Yoongi. Determined to find him and apologize.

Not much later Jungkook knocked on the door of Yoongi's studio, knowing he couldn't barge in like he normally would do.

Yoongi didn’t open it. He honestly didn’t even hear it with his noise cancellation headphones nestled perfectly on his head, he couldn’t hear what was going on in the outside world as he drowned himself in work. Nimble hands moved across a well-used piano but they lacked the energy that usually penetrated the fingers on other days. It was understandable, Yoongi had refused to eat since the day before after all.

Jungkook sighed as he knocked again and when he didn't get a single response he opened the door. He walked towards Yoongi and tapped his shoulder waiting for Yoongi to take off his headphones.

"Hyung, I'm sorry I forgot about the lunch I was studying in the library with Jimin," Jungkook mumbled, his voice weak as he bit his lip, hard enough to get the taste of blood.

Yoongi's heart clenched painfully in his chest. He was so lost. Does he stand up and pull Jungkook into his arms? He looks so sorry standing there like that. Does he push him away and go back to work because it's only fair Jungkook goes through what Yoongi did? He was so confused. He thought for the past couple of days he wasn't good enough. Maybe he really isn't, if Jungkook could put studying at the library before a date they had planned for weeks.

"Leave. I'm not in the mood to talk," he chose to say instead.

"Sorry," Jungkook said with a nod before he walked away again, staying awake all night, trying to focus on his studies again.

"Jimin hyung," Jungkook said all of a sudden. They were studying in the library again this time, it had been silent the whole afternoon.

"What is it Kookie?" Jimin asked, pulling his eyes up from his textbook, highlighter in hand, his other hand pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He had noticed Jungkook seemed to be quieter than usual but didn't want to comment on it lest he closed up even more.

"I-I made Yoongi hyung mad when I-I f-forgot our lunch and I think he's- he's really pissed at me because he doesn't talk to m-me anymore, and- and," Jungkook couldn’t push out of his words anymore and he bit his lip, trying to stop his upcoming tears.

Jimin shushed him hurriedly, reaching out to grab his hand. After looking around, he stood up and went around the table to tug Jungkook into a hug. "It's fine Jungkook, it's fine... It'll all be fine soon yeah?" he said, rubbing his back in what he hopes is a comforting motion.

"I-it's just, I h-haven't slept well because I miss him and- and he just doesn't come h-home, he- he stays at the studio all day and I m-miss him so much ," Jungkook sobbed into Jimin's t-shirt.

Jimin hummed thoughtfully, agreeing with his friend as he carded a hand through his hair. "Give him time, Kookie, I'm sure he'll come around. Just give him time, alright? Till then you can stay at mine, to make sure you're not alone?" Jimin said, wanting his friend to stop crying because it made tears spring to his eyes too.

"I-I think it's b-better if you would stay at- at my place," Jungkook said as he wiped his eyes and tried to stop stuttering. "S-so I'll be t-there."

"If you think it's better that way then I'll stay with you at yours instead," Jimin comforted, petting his head. "You can be yourself around me Jungkook, it's okay to not be okay," he added, leaning down to drop a kiss on the crown of his head.

"Thank you hyung," Jungkook said as he escaped Jimin's arms and cleaned his stuff. He really wanted to go home at this point and just felt like relaxing finally. Jimin silently watched Jungkook while he too gathered up his things to head to Jungkook's place. He'd spend the day there and leave after putting his friend to sleep.

"Hyung, can we order Chinese or something?" Jungkook asked as he looked at Jimin, they were cuddled up on the couch together. They had come home a couple of hours ago.

"Anything you want. As long as I pay," Jimin chuckled, stroking Jungkook's back gently while his other hand stroked his hair.

"Yeah," Jungkook said as he stood up and found the folder of the Chinese takeout restaurant that was around the corner. He chose some of the meals and then gave the paper to Jimin to choose his meals. "You can call," Jungkook told Jimin as he sat down on the couch next to him, giving Jimin his phone.

Taking the paper in his hand, Jimin scanned through it thoroughly before looking up at Jungkook. "What do you wanna get?" he asked, extending the paper to Jungkook for him to show. If he liked it well enough, he'd get it too. It was easier to make a double order than two different orders, after all. Jimin had noticed Jungkook seemed to stutter less and less jittery after they had cuddled for a couple of hours on the couch.

"Just something, I like all," Jungkook mumbled as he focused on the game on his phone.

Jimin sighed. A typical Jungkook response. "If you don't like what I'm ordering then you have to stay hungry," Jimin warned as he pulled out his phone to dial the number for the takeout Jungkook had chosen. He greeted the person on the other side and when Jungkook didn't respond, he got them dumplings, noodles, and soup for dinner.

Jungkook really didn't care at this point, he really just wanted Yoongi to return home. He wanted to apologize for his stupid mistakes.

The subject of Jungkook's affections was actually on his way home right now. Not because he had forgiven Jungkook, but because he needed proper sleep and his guest room had a good enough bed. His body felt like melting whenever he even thought of imagining going back to sleep in Jungkook's arms. His mind and heart were at war ever since the day of the incident. He hoped his heart didn't hurt when it saw Jungkook, he loved the guy for Christ's sake! He didn't know how long he could keep doing this, wanting him yet hurting when he was in his presence.

Using his key, he turned the lock, hearing its familiar satisfactory click before he pushed the door open. Pushing his shoes off, he stepped in the living room, regret spiking in his heart as he saw Jimin and Jungkook on his couch with their legs entangled. This was the reason why Jungkook had failed to remember about Yoongi right? Without a word, Yoongi turned the other way and left the same way he came before running downstairs and out on the streets. He'd have to stay at Hoseok's now.

The moment Jungkook saw the look in Yoongi's eyes when he saw him and Jimin he was about to cry. He kept messing up and he tried to stay strong, his lip shaking as he bit it hard. Jimin looked up from his phone, hearing the door behind him click twice with barely a minute's interval. "What is it Jungkook?" He asked softly when he saw Jungkook's expression.

Jungkook couldn't say a word. His throat felt thick and the tears just started streaming down his face as he hid his face in Jimin's shirt. "I-I'm s-such an idiot," he sobbed out.

Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook's back, patting sympathetically as he wasn't actually sure what had happened. "We're all idiots in love, Jungkook-ah," he said, sighing. His friend was going through too much pain. It tugged at his heartstrings, the way Jungkook's face contorted with emotions.

"I just- just want him b-back," Jungkook sobbed softly. "I'm- I'm s-so stupid."

"Hey hey hey, breathe, Jungkook... It's not over, yeah? You can fix it," Jimin tried, continuing with his gentle ministrations. "He's hurting too probably but he doesn't know how much you're hurting as well," he added, mostly just thinking out loud.

"Y-yeah," Jungkook stuttered as he tried to calm down his breathing. He slowly relaxed again in Jimin’s arms. Jimin sighed in relief when he felt Jungkook tenseness slowly dissipate. He continued to hold Jungkook close, hoping the food came soon. It would help take his mind off things.

Yoongi breathed heavily, looking back at the door to the apartment building, half hoping to see Jungkook burst outside to stop him but nothing of the sort happened, making him laugh bitterly. Yet he still couldn't help the longing he felt for Jungkook. Crossing the street, he decided to get himself dinner. In his befuddled mind, he had seen the menu for their favorite takeout lying on the coffee table. That meant he was planning on getting dinner with Jimin. Fair enough. After having dinner, he'd go back home. He missed Jungkook too much for him to stay away from him like this for so long.

Jungkook had moved a little bit away a bit from Jimin later and was still playing games on his phone as the food arrived. Jimin busied himself with preparing the table for dinner and distributing the food into bowls and plates as he felt appropriate. To waste time, he took his own helping before nudging Jungkook.

"Hey, dinner has been served. You should eat before it gets cold," he said, poking Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook mumbled something in reply and took a bowl of noodles and started eating slowly. It was one of the first times Jungkook had eaten without Yoongi’s knowledge after they had started living together and he just felt extremely bad about it. He had trouble swallowing the noodles. Jimin bit his lip but decided not to comment on Jungkook's pained expression. At least he was eating. So Jimin just went back to eating and watching Jungkook eat his.

Yoongi trudged back to his apartment an hour and a half later, nerves making a racket in his mind. He would get back to his home, to his Jungkookie and his mind and heart couldn't sway him this time. And get home he did. He unlocked the door and stood in the doorway for a while before entering. Putting on his best façade, he entered his house. Jimin was clearing up the table after their dinner, he guessed while Jungkook was staring at his phone.

Mustering up his courage, Yoongi cleared his throat. "I'm home," he said gruffly, wincing inwardly before sliding his bag off his shoulder and heading to his study where he kept everything.

Jungkook looked up from his phone and bit his lip. He tried to find the courage to walk to Yoongi and apologize, but he was afraid Yoongi wouldn't accept it again. He still stood up and walked there, knocking on the door.

Yoongi looked back. He hadn't closed the door and he didn't expect to see Jungkook waiting there after the knock. He was sure it was Jimin who had come to give him an earful or to apologize.

"Hey," he tried, voice strained from his anxiety.

"I'm sorry, I fucked up again," Jungkook said, his voice was weak and he was trying really hard not to cry again. his eyes were red and teary already as he bit his lip.

"What are you talking about Kook?" Yoongi said, feigning ignorance, scoffing a bit. "I just came home. I'm gonna head to bed, alright? You can tell Jimin to stay in the guest room or whatever, I don't mind," he said without giving Jungkook the chance to respond. He didn't want to fight and even if Jungkook had no intentions either, he was sure to let out his frustrations if he was given a chance and things wouldn't end pretty.

Instead he crossed the distance between him and Jungkook and kissed his forehead, his hand carefully cupping Jungkook's face. "You're good," he whispered, looking at his boyfriend's red eyes and quivering lips.

"T-thank you," Jungkook stuttered out as he wrapped his arms around Yoongi, letting his tears roll over his cheeks. He was afraid that Yoongi wouldn't forgive him anymore. He was so afraid of that.

"It's okay," Yoongi soothed, running a hand up and down Jungkook's back. He could feel Jungkook's tears wet his shirt and even if a bit, it calmed the rage in his heart. Because it meant that Jungkook felt bad about forgetting about Yoongi, right? He seemed to be repenting and Yoongi wanted to give him a second chance.

"I'm so sorry, I'm just so stressed with everything and I keep forgetting things," Jungkook rumbled on as he looked down at Yoongi and wiped his tears.

"I told you it's alright, you big baby," Yoongi chuckled, one hand on Jungkook's nape and the other in his hair as they got comfortable in each other's warmth again after what felt like too long to both of them.

"Y-yeah," he said as he smiled at Yoongi. Glad to be in his arms again.

"Go back to Jimin," Yoongi said after looking at Jungkook's face for a while with a tight smile. "I'll go change and head to bed, I'm really tired," he added with a soft sigh.

"Can I sleep with you again? I can send Jimin away," Jungkook mumbled softly as he looked into Yoongi's eyes.

"That'll be rude to Jimin," Yoongi argued, frowning slightly. "Don't send him away like that. But the rest is up to you. I'm really tired Jungkook, I'm heading to bed," he added, pulling away from Jungkook.

"Hyung," Jungkook whined softly as he pouted.

"Do as you want Jungkook, he's your friend and you're old enough to make decisions," Yoongi said, ruffling his hair fondly. Leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead, mumbling "goodnight" against his skin he left the room in favour of the guest bedroom.

Jungkook stayed in the study for some time after that. He thought about what Yoongi had said to him and bit his cheek trying to stop his tears. He felt like Yoongi didn't love him at this point. He felt alone.

A short moment later he collected himself and walked back to the living room. "You can go home if you want, I'm going to sleep I'm sorry," Jungkook told Jimin as he looked at his feet.

Jimin looked up from his phone to glance at Jungkook. "Are you alright? Is Yoongi hyung alright?" he asked softly, scared Yoongi might overhear. Jungkook looked like he might break down as well. So Jimin stood up and walked closer to Jungkook. "Do you want me to go home?"

"I'm fine, I will be," Jungkook said as he projected the weakest smile on his face and nodded. "You can go home," he continued as he cleaned up their take out from the table.

Jimin took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to convince himself Jungkook was fine. That he was fine. "I'll head home. I'm a call away, don't hesitate to call if you need me, alright?" He hoisted his side bag onto his shoulder, patting Jungkook's back twice before heading to the door.

"I will see you again Jimin," Jungkook replied as he put the empty boxes of take out in the garbage can and walked to the bedroom, changing into his sweatpants, not bothering to change his sweatshirt. He fell asleep on an empty bed, knowing that Yoongi had chosen to sleep in the guestroom made him want to cry, again.

Yoongi laid awake, listening to the tick of the clock like some uninterrupted metronome. He had heard the door close as Jimin left and heard their bedroom door close. He felt his heart break a little more at that because he knew it hurt Jungkook as well as himself. He wondered why he was doing this to himself and before he knew it, his feet carried him back to their shared bedroom, opening the door to find Jungkook asleep on his bed. He tutted under his breath half-heartedly through the tears that had appeared in his vision and through the lump that was making it harder from him to breathe.

Jungkook felt it, but he remained still and quiet, he didn't want Yoongi to leave. Tears did show up in his eyes though, but he hid them. His breath hitched though but it only happened once before he went back into his calm breathing.

Yoongi watched Jungkook's form rise and fall slightly in time with his breathing, making Yoongi fall in sync with him before he drifted off to a peaceful, proper sleep after what seemed like years to Yoongi's muscles and mind.

The next morning Jungkook woke up next to Yoongi, he stared at his boyfriend with the small distance between them. He was afraid to move or get out of bed, afraid to wake Yoongi up and put more distance between them.

The sleep had been dreamless and uninterrupted for Yoongi till he felt pulled out of his subconscious state as he felt his face heat up considerably from all the attention aimed at it. He opened his eyes groggily and looked at the source of all his happiness (and recently his tears), a soft smile blooming across his lips.

Jungkook was about to cry as he saw Yoongi's smile. He was so glad to see him smiling again after the past week. Jungkook snuggled forward, his head resting against Yoongi's chest. "I'm so happy to have you, I'm so sorry."

"Hey," Yoongi croaked, his voice gravelly. "You're okay, I just needed time," he assured him, wrapping both his arms around the other. He leaned forward to press a kiss to Jungkook's soft hair.

Jungkook's sobs were soft as he smiled happily at Yoongi. "You mean the world to me Yoongi," he mumbled softly.

"That's hyung to you, you brat," Yoongi laughed gently, the bitterness the words should hold replaced with fondness. He was satisfied with laying there forever, with Jungkook's weight on him. Everything seemed alright.

"Sorry Yoongi hyung," Jungkook said as he kissed Yoongi's lips.

"That's better," Yoongi mumbled, eyes fluttering close to concentrate on his other senses as he just felt Jungkook around him. "I missed you," he confessed with a strained voice while pecking his lips over and over.

"I missed you too," Jungkook replied in between the pecks. After Yoongi was satisfied, he pulled back, pushing Jungkook's face into his neck before sighing tiredly.

"I'm sleepy again, let's go back to sleep," he declared, one hand busy playing with Jungkook's hair as he himself drifted back towards a peaceful sleep.

"I have class," Jungkook mumbled softly. Only to mumble "Fuck that," two seconds later.

"Good," Yoongi chuckled, continuing his ministrations as they both drifted off to sleep the way they're used to.

They slept for what felt like the whole day, and it was also because they didn't have much sleep for the past days maybe. When they stirred awake, it was not from enough sleep, but from a phone that rang way too loud to let either of them stay unconscious.

"That's mine isn't it?" Jungkook groaned softly as he rolled out of Yoongi's arms to pick up his phone that was lying on the nightstand. He picked the phone up and saw Jimin's contact. He picked up the call and mumbled something that should've sounded like Hello?

Jimin gasped on the other end. "You're alive," he whisper-yelled. He shuffled on his bed. "You didn't call for the whole day, I got worried. Everything alright?" he asked, getting to the point. Yoongi frowned and curled in on himself to prevent the warmth from escaping.

"Yes, yes," Jungkook said as he smiled at Yoongi beside him, scooting closer to him. "I was just catching up on lost sleep. Yoongi finally finding purchase on Jungkook, tugged him closer and nosed at his neck fondly, listening to his voice speak as a lullaby.

"Okay. So Taehyung was asking about our dinner plans today, do we raincheck?" Jimin asked, quiet on the phone now that he knew (guessed), Yoongi was with Jungkook. It was quite possible he was the subject of his anger too.

"I think that would be unfair towards Taehyung, he's been looking forward to it so much," Jungkook mumbled as he looked at Yoongi and bit his lip. "Give me a short moment."

"Hyung, is it okay if I go out for dinner with Taehyung and Jimin? We've been planning this for a while," Jungkook asked as he looked at his boyfriend.

Yoongi nodded, "of course. You don't have to ask, you know that already."

He didn't want to let go of his boyfriend's warmth but he couldn't say no either. He didn't want anyone to go through what he went through just a few days ago.

"I have my own plans anyway, with Hoseok. I'm gonna be busy tonight with him," he shrugged. It was true but he would have cancelled if Jungkook didn't have plans either.

"Okay," Jungkook said with a thankful kiss on Yoongi's lips before going back to his phone.

"I'll come okay? Six at your apartment wasn't it?" he said.

"Yeah, six. It's almost four now so I would suggest not going back to sleep," Jimin said airily, looking at his nails as he spoke to Jungkook.

Yoongi reached out for his phone and looked at the time before sitting up, pushing Jungkook gently off him.

Jungkook hummed in reply to Jimin and wrapped his one free arm around Yoongi's waist, not wanting him to leave. "I'll see you at six Jimin hyung," he said before hanging up.

Jimin just nodded, although Jungkook couldn't hear it and lowered the phone.

"Jungkook, I have to go otherwise I'll be late to the studio," Yoongi sighed, trying to pry himself out of Jungkook's grasp.

"Why," Jungkook pouted as he wrapped his arms tighter around Yoongi's waist, legs joining now.

"Because I had plans with Hoseok to work with him," Yoongi chuckled. "Why are you so needy all of a sudden?" he teased, reaching out to pinch Jungkook's cheek.

"Because I missed you," Jungkook said as he rested his head on Yoongi's shoulder.

"I know but we both have places to be. I need to go soon. I need to change and freshen up. Did you forget we haven't bathed today?" Yoongi asked quietly, trying to turn his head and look at Jungkook.

"Sorta," Jungkook mumbled as he bit his lip. Not wanting to let go of Yoongi.

"Come on. We'll see each other again tomorrow. Right?" Yoongi asked, twisting and turning till he faced the younger and cupped his cheeks.

"Yes, we will," Jungkook said as he kissed Yoongi's lips.

Yoongi smiled into the kiss and pulled away. "Good. Then let's reach a compromise and start getting ready," he reasoned.

"Yeah," Jungkook said as he still kept his arms wrapped around Yoongi. Whining softly as Yoongi started to escape.

"Kookie," Yoongi said lowly in a slight warning tone. "Duty calls," he jested.

"Okay," he said in a whiny tone as he let go of Yoongi, watching him walk out of the room, he put ready his outfit he would wear that evening and got ready to shower himself.

Yoongi ignored the bitter feeling blooming in his chest as he walked away. He didn't want it to come back so he pulled out his phone and started texting Hoseok instead as he went to his closet, rummaging through it to find his loose comfortable clothing since he was going to stay the night at the studio most probably. Grabbing a duffel bag, he stuffed in an extra pair of clothes, some small packs of creamer, some sachets of sugar and finally an extra pillow.

If today ended up being a good and productive day, he would probably be able to dismiss his insecurities and negativity as just that. Jungkook showered shortly, walking to the bedroom again, dressing up.

Yoongi was putting together cheese sandwiches when Jungkook walked out into the living room. "You don't want any food, do you? You're going there for dinner anyway," Yoongi asked, popping out of the kitchen briefly to look at Jungkook. His duffel bag was lying on the sofa next to his phone.

"Are you going to have a sleepover at the studio or something?" Jungkook said eyeing the couch before walking to Yoongi in the kitchen. Wrapping his arms around him.

"Yeah, I am. We want to finish his project as soon as possible so I'm taking everything I might need during my stay," Yoongi told Jungkook, kissing his temple before turning in his hug to go back to his work with the sandwiches.

"I understand," Jungkook said as he smiled and rested his chin on Yoongi's shoulder, watching him make the sandwiches.

"Hmm so don't worry about not coming back because I won't be around anyway. You should stay there too. You'll have company," Yoongi told him, finishing up his handiwork and packing them in a lunchbox.

"Yeah, I might," Jungkook replied as he pressed a kiss on Yoongi's cheek.

"See you," Yoongi sighed, closing the lunchbox and turning around to kiss Jungkook's nose. "I'm heading out," he told him as he went past him back to his duffel.

"I'll see you tomorrow hyung," Jungkook said as he reached out for Yoongi's hand in his own extra ways, trying to keep him close to him.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow Kookie," Yoongi chuckled, already used to his antics, easily sidelining him.

Jungkook waved him goodbye as he packed his own bag, texting Jimin and Taehyung if it was okay if he'd stay over with them since Yoongi wasn't home.

Eventually, Jungkook went to Taehyung’s and Jimin’s apartment and he knocked on the door. Jimin opened the door and smiled.

"Nice to see you. You look well rested," he greeted, opening the door wider to let him in.

"Yeah, I slept well," Jungkook replied as he walked in, taking off his coat and putting his backpack on the floor.

Yoongi, in the meantime, walked to the studio and joined Hoseok, greeting him and Namjoon with a hug before they started working together as a team to support Hoseok.

Jungkook had a long luxe dinner with Jimin and Jungkook, but at the end of all that two bottles of wine had emptied.

When Yoongi was lying on the sofa to catch a quick break, he checked his phone which had been long put on silent. He was surprised to see over 9 Snapchat notifications from his boyfriend. He had supposed he'd be busier with his friends to think of sending him so many snaps.

Jungkook, in fact, didn't send all of the snaps, he sent about six of them himself. But the last three were selfies of Taehyung he took spinning around the living room of the apartment.

And the last photo was a selfie.

Jungkook didn't even realize Taehyung had his phone at that moment. He was sitting on Jimin's lap. His head resting on Jimin's shoulder. Jungkook wasn't half aware of what was around him and listened to the music that was playing on the boxes.

Jimin was playing with Jungkook's hair at that exact moment and he had his arm wrapped around Jungkook's neck. Jungkook didn't realize what he was really doing. He didn't remember what he had said to Jimin at all, he didn't remember Jimin's replies to him.

But he did remember their kiss. It felt passionate and sweet. Jimin's lips tasted like peaches. Jungkook knew the reason of that, it was the peach flavored lip balm that Jimin always carried around him and put on his lips.

And on the background of that last selfie, were Jimin and Jungkook. Kissing.

As Yoongi one by one watched all the snaps play, his expression changed slowly. At first, it was happy. He enjoyed seeing his boyfriend have fun. He laughed at the captions till they started getting so filled with spelling errors that he couldn't discern what was actually written on them. He tapped on his screen till something stood out to him. It was a picture of Taehyung, a blurred one, as is usual of him. But that's not what stood out.

What stood out was the background. It was something that would have gone unnoticed if Yoongi's eyes weren't trained to seek out Jungkook everywhere.

What he saw broke his heart, because even after all the disagreements and arguments they had, he felt like they had patched up. He finally felt like he was wrong to think Jungkook was tired of what they had. But with this picture, all his hope was crushed. And he rushed.

He rushed out of the studio back to their apartment. With a nonchalant shrug from Hoseok as permission, he emptied his cupboards into a suitcase and lugged it to Hoseok's apartment. He locked his study to keep his music equipment away.

With his scrawly handwriting, he wrote only two words: Goodbye, Jungkook.

Jungkook didn't realize what he had done until he checked his own snapchat story the next morning. His headache banged against his head with his hangover.

Jungkook just thought nice picture , until he saw the background. Knowing that Yoongi had probably seen it. He sobbed into his hands, phone dropped on the floor in front of him.

Yoongi smiled through it all. He went back to the studio and if his friends knew, they didn't say a word. It made him feel thankful and nervous at the same time. To show his friends he was fine, he gave it his all, like he was not affected by his boyfriend of 3 years kissing someone else mere hours after they woke up cuddled on the same bed.

It was obvious Hoseok knew. It showed when he forced Yoongi to eat while trying to be subtle about his concern. It was obvious Namjoon knew. It showed when he offered to go make coffee for him and made the coffee exactly to Yoongi's tastes.

He truly was blessed with friends. They even ended up in the same bed, 3 grown men trying to fit on one king-sized mattress. It worked somehow and they passed out right before the sun could climb right over their heads.

Jungkook almost ran home immediately, grabbing his bag, not even bothering to put on his jacket. He was shivering outside as he unlocked the front door of the apartment.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he walked through the apartment. It almost seemed like Yoongi had never been there at all. He tried to open the door of the study, locked. Eventually, he found the note from Yoongi. He sank down on his knees, tears streaming over his cheeks.

Yoongi woke up a few hours later, all his limbs trapped under the two ‘94 liners. He slowly wriggled his way free and grabbed his phone. His heart was thudding in his chest, his wound was still fresh and the first tears related to the event sprang free as his finger unlocked his phone to a picture of Jungkook kissing Yoongi's cheek. His fingers worked quickly to change the wallpaper to a generic one and block a contact that was once his most contacted and the first on his speed dial.

Jungkook took his phone out his pocket and immediately called Yoongi. He had no idea what he would say to Yoongi and was even unsure if he'd pick up the phone. As the events of yesterday played through Yoongi’s mind again, his emotions continued to rage and pile till it was too much.

Without a moment's hesitation, he drew back his arm and threw his phone, slumping when he heard it crack against the wall and clatter on the floor. Jungkook wasn't surprised when Yoongi didn't pick up. He was sad though. Concerned to know if Yoongi was even doing okay.

Hoseok awakened and wrapped his arms around Yoongi's waist, pulling him back down, whispering gentle words in his ears to calm him down. But from what, Yoongi wasn't sure. He was fine, it was fine. He just wished Jungkook told him on his face instead.

Hours later, he was drinks ahead of Hoseok and Namjoon, wrestling out of their arms to grab one drink after another.

Jungkook knew that Yoongi was probably at Hoseok's place. And he really wanted to speak to Yoongi. But he couldn't find the courage to go there.

So he sat on the floor of the apartment. Staring at the screen of his phone. The wallpaper being his favorite picture he ever took of Yoongi, one when they were on a holiday and Yoongi was taking photos of the view.

Yoongi continued to drink after his friends had knocked out. Tears would spill over from his eyes every so often. His hands would pat down his pockets every so often till he remembered, he had thrown it against the wall in a moment of rage. And at those moments, he laughed bitterly at himself because he ended being left alone. He had had his share of happiness for the past 3 years and as good things come, they go too. Right? This was just something that had to happen in his life to move on.

But if that was true, why was he trying to overpower the constriction of his chest with the burn of alcohol in his throat? If it was true that this was just meant to happen, why did pathetic sobs wrack his body every time he remembered the bright smile he saw first in the morning for so many days? Why did all the strength leave his body whenever his mind drifted the slightest bit towards Jungkook? Whenever his fingers brushed over his tattoo of coffee and tea, he shivered as all the memories came crashing back.

The ones of him getting the tattoo done for Jungkook on his birthday, the ones of Jungkook running his finger over it in awe when he first saw it, the ones of Jungkook fondly pecking it whenever he found the chance because he thought it adorable that Yoongi had a tattoo for him.

He didn’t know what time it was, but enough was enough. Grabbing his keys, he let his legs work on pure muscle memory as they stumbled their way back to his apartment. Maybe he would get some clues there. Anyways, it’s not like Jungkook would come back. It’s not like he cared. Maybe he would find the place devoid of Jungkook’s belongings just like he took his away.

His feet stopped a few feet from his door, letting him try to carefully stumble rest of the way. Bending slightly, he narrowed his already drooping eyes to the keyhole as he jammed his keys in. Jiggling it as he turned, he pushed the door open and fell through. The familiar interior of the house annoyed him. He realised it hadn’t changed much. Did he matter so little to Jungkook that he was leading his normal life even though Yoongi said goodbye?

Maybe he never mattered.

Jungkook looked up hearing the door open and he let out a weak breathy sob. He wiped the tears from his red-stained eyes. Yoongi stumbled further inside, not bothering to take his shoes off. He'd be out in a while anyway. On one of their curio tables, he saw their cups sitting next to each other. Closer than the owners were now. And with a sweep of his hands, he pushed them all to the floor, cups and their water jug, a growl reverberating through him.

Jungkook shivered as he heard the growl that Yoongi let out, he was afraid to even move if he were honest. Yoongi stepped on the broken glass, hearing it crunch under his shoes like his heart had been stepped on as he moved forward.

"H-hyung," Jungkook said, carefully, his voice still weak.

"You're here? Why? To officially break up with me?" Yoongi spat, turning on Jungkook. Every sound was loud to him and poison seeped through his veins into his words. "What you already did wasn't enough? You could have told me you were tired. I would have let you go, Jeon. You didn't have to go behind my back like that," he continued, walking towards him slowly.

"I didn't want to do it," Jungkook said as he stood up, tears dwelling in his eyes as he looked at Yoongi and took a careful step back.

Yoongi repeated Jungkook's words under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief. "You want me to believe that, huh? For the past two weeks you've spent all your time with Jimin, not even bothering to text me. How can you expect me to think you simply 'forgot' to tell me when we've been living together for the past year and a half, dating for another year and a half and known each other for even longer? I don't believe you."

Yoongi closed their distance and grabbed onto the front of Jungkook's shirt. "I can't believe you went to Jimin behind my back. How low can you get? How much dirtier do you want to play, Jeon?"

"Not, I-I-," Jungkook couldn't come out of his words and he looked down at his feet.

"Save it. Get yourself a new roommate," Yoongi rolled his eyes, shoving Jungkook back before turning around to go to his study.

"Yoongi please," Jungkook begged as he took Yoongi's wrist, not wanting him to leave.

"Stop!" Yoongi burst out, turning around and throwing his fist out to connect it with Jungkook's cheek, the same one he held with tenderness so many times. "Haven't you hurt me enough," Yoongi whispered brokenly, tears streaming down his face.

"Yes, I have," Jungkook said in realization and bit his lip, his hand going to his cheek.

Yoongi pulled at his hair in frustration. Even with all the pain he still loved Jungkook, he realized and teetered backward. "I'll leave you now," he said with finality, voice heavy with all the tears he was yet to shed.

"P-please," Jungkook begged, tears rolling over his cheeks as he took Yoongi's wrist with a firm hold, not letting go of him anytime soon. Yoongi grit his teeth and tried to shove him away again. Feeling Jungkook close to him was making his thinking go haywire and he couldn't take much more of this. He needed to leave.

Jungkook felt Yoongi resist in every possible way. But he didn't want to let go, he didn't want to lose Yoongi.

"Let go of me Jungkook," he bit out as he clenched his hands into fists. "Go back to Jimin because the roof already caved in on us," he continued, twisting his wrist out.

"I don't want Jimin, hyung," Jungkook said as he tightened the grip on his wrist.

Yoongi barked out a laugh. "So your only motive was to hurt me? What does Jimin think about this, huh? Or are you so stuck within yourself, you don't even see the wreckage you're causing," he seethed, eyebrows creasing together.

"I didn't want to hurt you," Jungkook said as he bit his lip, a drop of blood forming on the dried out skin.

"The damage has been done. Intentionally or not. Let go Jungkook," he sighed, tired of dealing with his emotions.

"No," Jungkook said as he tightened the grip even more, almost crushing Yoongi's wrist. Yoongi winced through his tears and looked down at his wrist, noticing how Jungkook's fingertips were turning white with exertion.

"You're literally hurting me right now, Jungkook," Yoongi said. Jungkook looked at his hand and let go as soon as he saw it. Swallowing thickly, Yoongi cradled his freed hand. Breathing hard, he stepped away from Jungkook.

"P-please don't leave," Jungkook begged softly. Tears running over his cheeks again.

"Why should I stay?" Yoongi asked, closing his eyes to concentrate on his breathing properly.

"I miss you, I don't want to hurt you," he said as he sobbed through his tears.

"You already have Jungkook, you already have. You can't undo it," Yoongi whimpered.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes again. "Let's take a break," he proposed.

"You're not going to come back to me if so," Jungkook mumbled, realizing that.

"I can't promise I will. You broke my heart Jungkook. I can't forgive you just like that. It hurts," he laughed through his tears. "Once my pain subsides, I might be able to talk to you without hate filling my lungs again," he added, nodding to himself.

Jungkook didn't know what to say, he just let the last tears stream over his cheeks as he stepped away. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Goodbye Jungkook," Yoongi said as he turned away and walked back to the main door, not wanting to stay in this house for any longer than absolutely necessary.

It had been two weeks since Yoongi moved into Hoseok's apartment. Hoseok wasn't complaining, not at all. His best friend was comfortable and at times even needy for cuddles ever since that incident . He just abhorred seeing his friend's eyes red with unshed tears and cheeks swollen with the tears he'd already shed.

Yoongi was taking a break but had convinced Hoseok and Namjoon to keep working. Namjoon and Hoseok had worked out a schedule by which Yoongi wasn't left alone for more than two hours but even those two hours often seemed too long.

Today Hoseok had come to the dance studio to practice for a few hours. He had dragged Yoongi out because he needed the fresh air too not to mention he seemed to look greyer as the days passed. What they didn't expect to see as they walked up to the studio was an impatient Jimin pacing in front of it.

"Hyung," Jimin said immediately as he saw Yoongi, rushing towards the older guy. Jimin had to try to tell him the things he observed about Jungkook those two weeks.

"Can you stop ignoring me hyung," Jimin said as he Yoongi tried to just walk past him, grabbing his wrist and turning him around.

Yoongi clicked his tongue and pulled his arm away. "What's with you guys and grabbing wrists? I can choose if I want to or don't want to talk to someone, Park," Yoongi frowned, folding his arms as Hoseok walked up next to him. "Is there a problem Jimin?" Hoseok asked, his tone much softer than the one Yoongi used.

"It's Jungkook, he's literally not eating at all, he hasn't been out, he's just constantly crying, Yoongi hyung I was drunk that night, so was Kook, I think Jungkookie had a whole bottle of wine on his own," Jimin said, panic in his voice. Jungkook wasn't doing well, he could even die if he continued this way.

Yoongi stiffened in his place but relaxed once he felt Hoseok rub his hand in circles on his back. "And what am I supposed to do? I already said I'll come back when I'm not filled with hatred towards him. It was not one incident Jimin, it was several which triggered this and it'll take a while for it to settle down. Of course it will," Yoongi gritted out, his clenched hand held by Hoseok's free hand.

Yoongi wasn't doing much better either. Hoseok and Namjoon knew, he barely ate, had fitful sleep, cried for hours with sobs shaking through his whole body enough to render him useless for speech. Hidden under loose shirt were marks of scratches of self-hatred, on his arms, legs, chest, stomach, everywhere he could reach. Hidden were the ribs that seemed to poke out of Yoongi's skin now after the past few weeks of not eating well. His eyes looked sunken in and if Jimin paid attention, he'd be able to tell right away.

Yoongi was hanging on by straws and the sadness in his heart just gave way to rage in his chest whenever he thought about everything. It didn't subside no matter how much Yoongi tried. Hoseok had panicked at his lacklust eyes, sick complexion, slumped posture and blank gaze. It was why he had finally dragged him out after putting him in one of Namjoon's sweatshirts to hide his scars and bones. Hoseok felt apprehensive of the meeting. This wouldn't end well.

"Hyung, Taehyung is afraid to leave Jungkook alone in the house, afraid he'll do something to himself," Jimin said, he was about to cry thinking about how weak Jungkook looked before he left the house. It wasn't even Jungkook anymore, it was an empty body.

"Then shouldn't you be with him too, Jimin? I'm sorry but this is not a good time," Hoseok interrupted, turning a shell-shocked Yoongi away from Jimin to guide him to the studio. He could practically feel the whimpers within Yoongi. He was shaking but it was hidden by his loose clothing.

"Taehyung is there right now," Jimin said as he looked at Yoongi and bit his lip. "It's just-" he starts, stopping with a deep sigh. "He keeps talking about how much of an idiot he is, about that he'll never get a second chance, he keeps saying all the things he will never do again, It's heartbreaking hyung," Jimin said, to both guys in front of him.

"My heart broke that night when Yoongi brought his suitcase to my apartment and just collapsed in my arms.  Maybe with how much he hurt Yoongi, he doesn't deserve a second chance," Hoseok told, pulling Yoongi with him regardless of his struggles and mumbles pleading him to stop.

Jimin felt lost. He didn't know what to do at this point. If this was going to continue Jungkook would starve himself to dead or hurt himself. "Alright," Jimin just mumbled softly.

Once they were safely inside the soundproof studio, Yoongi gave in. Tears spilled onto his cheeks anew as if he hadn't been crying ten minutes before Hoseok and Yoongi had left for the studio.

"I'm such a dick, Hobi," he whimpered into the hug Hoseok had pulled him in.

"Shh... You're not," Hoseok assured him, his hand rubbing his back.

"But Jungkook, he's suffering because of me. Jimin and Taehyung are suffering all because I can't forgive Jungkook for a mistake," Yoongi countered, convinced he's wrong.

"What about how much you're suffering because of Jungkook? You were convinced you weren't good enough. You were convinced you weren't loveable and hyung you know that's not true," Hoseok argued back, voice gentle and quiet as he shushed Yoongi's sobs. "How about we meet him later, yeah? Maybe you'll feel better after talking it out with him. You still love him, right?" A vigorous nod against his shoulder. "Okay then you should be willing to work this out, however it is," Hoseok said as he pulled back to look at Yoongi. He smiled at him. So that was settled.

Hoseok didn't get any practice in but he couldn't really feel bad about it because by the end of it, Yoongi's eyes had lit up with hope. His friend was so whipped for that kid, he didn't know if it was nice or sad or funny or plain scary.

And two hours later, Hoseok and Yoongi did walk out of the studio hand in hand, Yoongi's face much puffier than it had been when they entered but they'd washed away the tear stains. Instead of going home, they turned towards the road that led down to Jimin's and Taehyung's apartment.

Jimin opened the door of the apartment, surprised by Yoongi and Hoseok standing there. "Hyungs," Jimin said as he gestured for them to walk inside. "Taehyung, can you carefully tell Jungkook?" He asked as they walked into the living room. Taehyung looked up and met Yoongi's eyes, nodding and walking into the hallway to the bedroom.

"Kookie," Taehyung said carefully as he opened the door of the bedroom. Jungkook looked up from the empty drawing notebook in front of him, he'd been staring at that paper for a long time. "Yoongi, he's here," Taehyung mumbled. Jungkook nodded as he stood up and followed Taehyung back into the living room.

As soon as they had entered the apartment, Yoongi had clutched onto Hoseok to stop himself from running. He knew the hurt would be back. Hoseok had also realized the same and stubbornly dropped his arm on Yoongi's shoulder. His heart clenched when he heard Jimin ask Taehyung to do it gently, as if any mention of Yoongi would hurt Jungkook.

Yoongi frowned when Jungkook walked into the room. His head was down, movements sluggish, and he looked like he had definitely seen better and seemed very worn out. "Jungkook-ah?" he asked softly, throat closed up almost completely but he had to push his words out. Because without Jungkook it really seemed like he couldn't function. And how could he? Their lives had entwined into each other's till one couldn't differentiate from the other. If they were ripped apart now, they would never be the same. They would never be whole again.

Jungkook kept telling himself not to cry, he was going to be perfectly fine seeing Yoongi. But when Jungkook looked up to see Yoongi's eyes, he felt the tears dwelling up in his eyes.

"Hyung," he said, his voice completely broken and weak. He didn't even know what to do, he wanted to hug Yoongi and never let go, but it seemed like Yoongi wouldn't want that.

Hoseok pulled away from Yoongi and nudged him in Jungkook’s direction. Not ready for the sudden push, Yoongi stumbles forward, barely finding balance before he’s face to face with the face he hadn’t seen for days. It hurt knowing that he was the cause of this, it hurt knowing that he could have avoided this. It hurt knowing that Jungkook looked worn out and that it was like looking in a mirror. He knew he looked as bad as Jungkook probably felt.

His eyes blinked rapidly with his nervousness. He felt sick to his stomach. But the fact that he was thinking about what to do made him feel sicker. He wasn’t supposed to think. Not with Jungkook. He looked up at him finally and acted on impulse, he grabbed the front of his shirt. He didn’t have words to say but he could perhaps get his message across by touch instead.

Jungkook was surprised by the sudden pull on his shirt and almost fell forward against Yoongi, their lips pressing together. Jungkook realized it and cupped Yoongi's face with his hands.

"I'm sorry?" Yoongi muttered, eyes closed just feeling Jungkook against him. He didn't want to let his feelings get the better of him. He needed to get his message across before they were lost in the whirlwind of his emotions. "I miss you," he whispered.

"I'm so sorry hyung," Jungkook said as he felt tears roll down his cheeks already. "I miss you so much," he whimpered softly.

Yoongi rubbed his hands on Jungkook's arms before wrapping his arms around his waist. "Let's promise each other Jungkook... Let's talk everything out. Please," he said after swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Yes," Jungkook said as he noticed his tears streaming out of his eyes as he snuggled his nose into Yoongi's shirt.

"Cliché," Jimin mumbled in the background as he rolled his eyes, receiving a chuckle from Taehyung. "Want anything to drink? Water? something?" Jimin asked, taking that as a chance to escape Yoongi and Jungkook.

"Popcorn maybe, and some soda," Taehyung snickered, watching Hoseok watch his friend with his boyfriend fondly. "Or let's just escape and head inside," he fake gagged.

Yoongi had wrapped his arms around Jungkook, his chin resting on top of his head. "I'm sorry," he muttered again, sounding like a broken record. "I'll try my best to not let this repeat. How do I make it up to you?" He asked with a soft sigh.

"You don't have to," Jungkook mumbled, he was the one who messed up the biggest part of it.

"I must," Yoongi retorted, pulling Jungkook away to look at him. "We both did wrong and we both need to take steps to fix it," he frowned.

"It's fine," Jungkook said as he pulled him and Yoongi on the couch.

"W-we should get back... home. If.. only if you're ready. To go back, I mean," Yoongi said, tripping over his words and thoughts. He had just noticed Hoseok and how he was stood there looking fond even though the other two inmates of the house were nowhere in sight.

"Yeah, we should go home," Jungkook said as he rested his head on Yoongi's shoulder.

"Let's... Let's go now? I don't want to stay here, feels weird," Yoongi said, melting immediately as Jungkook's warmth pressed against his side.

"You should borrow some of Jungkook's clothes, hyung. I'll pack your things for you to pick up tomorrow," Hoseok said lightly, sneakily taking pictures of the two.

Jungkook smiled as he nodded softly. He always liked seeing Yoongi in his own clothes. He hummed softly before standing up again. "Let's head home then?"

"Yeah, before those two come back with the popcorn they were whispering about," Yoongi said, making an almost appalled expression.

"Yeah, you're right," Jungkook said as he walked in the direction of the hallway, to the front door.

Hoseok laughed as he followed Yoongi and Jungkook to the door. "You sure you don't want to say goodbye? Also, don't you have your clothes here?" Hoseok asked Jungkook, his hands on Yoongi's shoulders.

"I didn't take anything with me really, I used Taehyung's clothes," Jungkook mumbled as he stared down at his feet.

Yoongi hummed and tapped Jungkook's shoulder, "let's just get home then and you can return his clothes later." Hoseok reached forward beyond Jungkook and opened the door.

"Goodbye hyung," Jungkook said as he smiled and took Yoongi's hand.

"Wow eager to get rid of me, huh. Unfortunately, I walk with you for a while to get to my car," Hoseok chuckled, following them out.

"If I can be alone with Yoongi, yes I'd get rid of you within a second," Jungkook mumbled as he looked at Yoongi and pressed a kiss on his cheek.