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She had stumbled, tripped on her own two feet and fell, hitting the ground with a thud. Following her small squeal, came sheets of music floating down to the ground with her. Shuichi had just about dropped everything, rushing to her side to help her. Her face was flushed, Kaede’s usual pale skin burning red. He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye but mumbled out a concern.
“I’m alright. Thank you, Shuichi.” She smiled, lips creasing upward amidst the sheepishness in her eyes. Shuichi looked up, just for a second and felt his heart pound in his chest. Kaede picked herself up and outstretched her hand to help Shuichi to his feet. He held onto her hand longer than he expected and quickly tightened up the pile of music sheets and handed it to her without another word.
“Kaede.” Shuichi froze at the sound of a deep voice and took a step back, hands behind his back. He gave her a quick bow before dismissing himself. Shuichi had already seen his messy green curls and would much rather avoid seeing Rantaro, if at all possible.
They weren’t dating. Not yet. Shuichi could see it happening in the near future though. The thought made his stomach turn. Rantaro had only been in the picture for little more than a few months — since the start of the school year since he had just transferred. Shuichi had years over him — growing up with her surely would’ve made them closer than ever, right? — and yet Kaede seemed to be swayed by whatever charms he supposedly had. Shuichi could admit Rantaro was attractive but nothing more than that. He was too calm, collected and on face value could be described as boring. Shuichi had little reason to hate him, but he did anyway.
Shuichi stepped into the first empty hallway he could find and pressed himself against one of the lockers, his fingers pressing into his temples. It really was simple — he’d just have to confess his feelings and by some God’s luck, she’d recuperate. But through all the sleepovers and playdates as kids, Shuichi could easily see Kaede as seeing him as nothing more than an older brother. A family friend, nothing more. It hurt so much, so much he wanted to curl himself into a ball and just cry. Cry because she’d sometimes call him “Brother” by accident, and because she’d ask him what he thought about Rantaro and if he ever thought of being friends with him.
“You walked away during the worst part. He ended up holding her hand and walking her back to class.”
Shuichi didn’t look up. “Why are you telling me this, Kokichi?”
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Kokichi mumbled, quiet footsteps echoing closer and closer until they stopped right in front of Shuichi. A hand wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. “I know, because I feel it too.”
At that, Shuichi scoffed. Of course. That was how this whole thing worked out for them. Kokichi hated Kaede for stealing away all of Rantaro’s attention and Shuichi hated Rantaro for stealing all of Kaede’s attention. They filled the other’s loneliness. That was the deal. No strings attached. They were nothing more than a replacement.
Shuichi closed his eyes, feeling a small kiss against his neck. Kokichi kept quiet, softly treating Shuichi’s pale skin with gentle lips. In his mind, Kokichi disappeared and Kaede’s image replaced him. She was flushed, cheeks rosy but she kept up her kisses with quiet determination. Shuichi held in a small whimper. To Kokichi, Shuichi was Rantaro and even the single hint of a noise would break his fantasy.
They became the other.
A hand dipped down to the buttons of Shuichi’s uniform and he squirmed under Kokichi’s touch. In all his fantasies, Kaede would usually never be so forward but Shuichi couldn’t help but succumb under what he imagined as her touch. Her fingertips were cold but they lit Shuichi’s skin on fire. Her body felt so warm against his. Her lips found themselves against his, so soft, inviting. Shuichi heard Kokichi gasp out quietly but he didn’t mind in that moment. Everything was overwhelming him and he loved it. Shuichi’s hands tightened around Kokichi’s back, further closing the space between them.
They needed to forget about reality for a little while. Just to live in a fantasy where they had who they loved, and no one else.