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It’s one of the more humiliating experiences Thor has been through, and that includes the time he lost to Loki in an eating contest. (Where he packed all that venison away in that tiny body of his, Thor will never know.)
It’s not just the obedience disk in his neck, or the chair he can’t escape from, or even the fact he was tricked into screaming his lungs out in the otherwise silent hall of the Grandmaster.
When it really comes down to it, it’s the idea that while he has to endure this myriad of injustices, it seems Loki is thriving.
And also possibly getting some.
Thor’s not jealous, even if it has been a while for him, because hey, one of the Avengers has to look for Infinity stones instead of wrestling in a parking lot.
But now the Grandmaster, with his towering yet willowy stature and gaudy apparel, has the gall to flutter his eyes at Thor’s younger brother.
Loki is of course not unused to flirtation. Even before everything went to shit, before the failed coronation that led to the end of Thor’s seemingly perfect family, countless people were enthralled by Loki’s appearance and wit.
Personally? Thor doesn’t see it.
Why anyone would pick this brother over the one that actually knew how to wash his hair without Frigga forcing him... Though Thor is also aware his brother probably makes for better conversation.
He sometimes can’t believe how patiently Jane used to sit through his repetitive recounts of his stupid antics with Sif, Hogan, Fandral, and Volstagg.
In any case, he knows Loki can handle attention. He can shrug it off and redirect it. He can flat-out ignore it if need be.
And yet now he doesn’t.
Instead he casts around that so familiar look that suddenly doesn’t seem so familiar anymore.
It’s the look he gives Thor when he rats Loki out to Frigga or the look he gives Fandral when he fails to play along with one of his tricks.
It can’t mean that...
Thor looks back and forth between the two, trying to understand.
“Ah, well, anyway,” the Grandmaster continues as if the ten-second long silence never occurred in the first place. “You’re probably wondering where you get to stay.”
“No. No, I’m actually not—” Thor starts, but he’s completely ignored in favor of the Grandmaster continuing to speak while simultaneously reaching a casual arm around Loki’s waist to grab for his control stick on the other side.
“Why... Why would you do that?” Thor asks before he can stop himself.
It’s sudden enough to derail the Grandmaster. “Sorry? Do— do what now?”
“That thing. You just did with your arm. You kinda, like,” Thor attempts to shuffle his shoulder in demonstration, but it’s not very helpful since he’s still fastened down to the chair. “You reached around him when you could have just reached in front of him. Much easier.” He gives them both his most innocent smile.
“I did what? Like... like this?” The Grandmaster casually loops an arm around Loki again. “Like that? Oh. Oh. Yeah, it just seemed natural in the moment.” His hand doesn’t move away, and he pulls Loki close in a way that implies he doesn’t really realize he’s done it. “You know, that’s the problem with your brother. We did decide you’re brothers, right? That was very unclear. But that’s the problem with him. Too much overthinking. Not enough living in the moment. Sometimes... sometimes you have to do what feels good. What feels right.”
Loki looks like he’s either about to throw up or pass out, and Thor is almost worried until he realizes his brother is actually trying not to laugh.
There’s nothing humorous about this situation that Thor can see, but Loki is still making that constipated face and he’s resting his hand over the one on his waist.
He’s definitely getting some.
Thor is livid.
At least Jane was smart and attractive and kind.
This guy? Thor tries not to let his shudder break his fake smile.
Nothing accounting for taste, he supposes.
The Grandmaster starts to trail a hand up the flat leather of Loki’s chest. “So... Loki. How about we ditch your uh, your brother here and go—” He draws an upside-down triangle in front of his face then rapidly flicks himself in the cheek with one hand while flapping his other elbow.
Loki flushes instantly, a sight Thor hasn’t seen since they were kids. He’s not sure what’s more frightening: whatever the Grandmaster implied or the fact Loki understood what the strange charade meant.
Seemingly eager to go triangle-face-cheeky-flap with Loki, the Grandmaster scoots Thor’s chair along and promptly throws him into the gladiator dungeons, where he meets a very nice Kronan who chats with him pleasantly and then gives him space to hold a private funeral for his father.
Thor is slightly surprised when he hears a voice join in behind him, but he isn’t shocked when a test rock knocks into the wall as Loki turns out to only be an illusion.
“You didn’t think I’d really come visit you here. This place is disgusting.”
Thor narrows his eyes. “Aren’t you a little too busy to be sending your copies to visit me?”
“Busy?”
“Busy doing... whatever it is you do with that man.”
Loki rolls his eyes. “I sense a chill.”
“Excuse me for being upset that my brother, who has good standing with the man who has imprisoned me and expects me to fight to the death, isn’t helping me escape so I can return home and free our people from our murderous sister.”
“Ooh,” Loki drawls. “That’s an awful lot of ‘me, me, me’ and ‘I, I, I.’”
“Right, because you’re certainly being selfless. What have you been up to for the past years? Have you been, I don’t know, fighting countless monsters and battling ancient evils in a fruitless hunt for Infinity stones? No. You’ve been writing autobiographical theatrical productions while lying around in your pajamas, disguised in the body of our now departed father.”
“To be fair, it takes a ridiculous amount of effort to direct a play. And the actor I cast as myself was nearly impossible to work with—”
“Loki.”
“Fine.” Loki flicks back one side of his hair and sighs like Thor is somehow the unreasonable one here. “Listen, I obviously know the Grandmaster pretty well, so I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t make any promises.”
Thor sits up a little straighter. “How well is well?”
The sudden shifty look in Loki’s eyes isn’t reassuring. “What do you mean?”
“How well do you know this dictator guy?”
“Um. He’s... a very close... He’s...” He seems to find something very interesting about his left sleeve. “Thor, I don’t know what to call it. You really want honesty? From me? Fine. But courting sounds so juvenile.”
Thor smacks his head back against the wall. “No, courting sounds pretentious and outdated. You can say dating like everyone else.”
“That sounds worse somehow.”
“He has to be at least four thousand years older than you.”
“Try four billion,” Loki mutters, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head back and forth.
“Four bill— Loki, what is he?”
Loki straightens up and looks down his nose at Thor. “Kind to me, for one. He compliments me. Says I look nice.”
“You didn’t get enough of that masquerading as our father?” Loki looks a bit sick and Thor can’t help but join him. ”Okay, never mind. Bad train of thought.”
“He thinks I’m witty and intelligent, and he tells me that. Frequently. The man’s literally obsessed with himself, but he still compliments me.”
“So?” Thor actually stands up now, still tossing a single stone in his hand in case he needs to throw it. “Father’s courts were always full of people who showered you in praise.”
“I’ve shown him my Jotun form. He thinks it’s interesting. He never sees it as a monster.”
“Loki, what made you monstrous wasn’t that you were Jotun; it was that you killed thousands of Midgardians in an ill-conceived plan to take over the Earth.”
“Yes, well, the Grandmaster liked that story.”
Thor sputters. “Because he’s a dictator!”
“You know, if you’re not going to be nice, I can always leave.”
Thor levels a glare at Loki. He doesn’t want him to leave, but the whole conversation is somehow both deeply uncomfortable and the best one they’ve had in years.
After faking interest in the grimy floor and ceiling, Loki finally breaks first. “I’m happy, you know.”
Thor kicks another rock across the ground and wonders if it’s similar to a Kronan kicking a chunk of flesh.
Loki sighs like he’s giving up. “You could say something.”
“I’m thinking.”
“Well, that’s a first.”
“He’s treating you well?”
Loki gives a small tilted smile. “He is.”
“Then I can’t be that mad about it.”
“Can’t be that mad?”
“He is kind of keeping me captive right now.” Thor gestures around the dungeon. “I imagine that’s easy for you to forget.”
“Mm. I guess I was a bit distracted by your sudden interest in my love life.”
“Oh? So love is involved now?”
“What?” Loki bristles like he’s never been so offended. “I didn’t mean that. You can’t play both sides of this, Thor. You can’t be the overprotective sibling and the teasing big brother.”
“Says who?” Thor laughs. Loki does too and it feels like a fresh start.
He steps forward to grab him round the neck and muss his hair like they did as children, but his arm passes right through the illusion, and Loki snickers harder.
“Don’t worry, brother,” he sneers. “I’m sure someday you’ll go falling through space and meet some dashing being who woos you with music they find strangely sentimental.”
“That’s awfully specific, witch,” Thor scoffs and drops the rock he’s still holding. The weird flesh comparison is still bothering him a little.
“So, I assume you and the Grandmaster are...” He trails off suggestively.
Loki snorts in that way that used to make Frigga shake her head at him. “Yes. I kind of figured that was a given.”
“Mmhm. Okay. Mystery solved. Let’s forget I ever mentioned it. You know, this is probably the most embarrassing moment I’ve ever had with you. Including that eating contest you won.”
Loki gives him a look like he’s the slowest thing in the nine realms. “Thor...” he says carefully. “You do know I kept adding my meat to your pile to slow you down.”
Thor freezes.
“Now brother, please, let’s handle this like adults—”
Thor pelts the wall through Loki with rocks until the Kronan himself comes running and actually scares the illusion off.