Work Text:
February 2015
“You have a thing for him.”
“I do not have a thing for him. He’s too young.”
“You have a thing for a younger man."
“You are just trying to deflect from your own fast bowler escapades.”
“There were no escapades! That has nothing to do with this!”
“Just like I do not have a thing for Trent.”
“Suuure.”
“He’s not my type! As you would know.”
“That’s... True, though I wish I didn’t. Congrats on finally wanting to fuck someone who doesn’t look like-”
“Oh just fuck off, I do not have a thing for him!”
As Nathan stormed off towards the nets he almost smacked head first into Ross. Rather than apologise he pointed a finger into Ross’s face and snapped,
“Not a word, Taylor!”
“I just wanted to talk to Baz...”
“Not. One. Word.”
Ross gestured silently while Nathan stalked away, before sidling up to Brendon.
“Are you antagonising your brother?”
“Absolutely. Have you noticed his hard-on for Boulty?”
“Dude, the only one who hasn’t noticed his hard-on for Trent is Donkey.”
“Oooh, yeah, that is an awkward situation.”
“Runs in the family though, I mean your extended erection for Bond-”
“Oh my God would everyone stop bringing up the thing with Bondy! Nothing. Happened!”
September 2017
“So, I see you decided to sit next to Trent on the bus.”
“You are a nosey little shit.”
“There were lots of empty seats.”
“I am not talking to you.”
“But you just had to take a selfie with Lovely Trenty.”
“Don’t make me take a golf club to you Brendon, I know all the parts you’ve had rehab on.”
“Did you get any more pictures? You know, for... later...”
“You are disgusting, you know that?”
“You’re one to talk, Mattress.”
“Oh, Tee off would you?”
February 2018
SMS (+64 211):
So, you’re bottoming for Trent?
SMS (+64 273):
WTF are you on about?
SMS (+64 211):
Check your own twitter timeline
SMS (+64 273):
That was a question about the olympics!
SMS (+64 211):
Which you answered completely unprompted. And decided to @ Boulty in
SMS (+64 273):
Where did I say I was bottoming?
SMS (+64 211):
Well I know you don’t top
SMS (+64 273):
That was once
SMS (+64 211):
And you’d crush him
SMS (+64 211):
Skinny and fast. Doesn’t sound like a good night
SMS (+64 211):
Aww, are you ignoring me?
SMS (+64 211):
Or just waiting for Trent to finally notice you?
SMS (+64 273):
Still wouldn’t be as long as you waited for Shane to notice you
SMS (+64 211):
Ooooooh, that IS a sore spot!
SMS (+64 211):
Maybe you should get an instagram
SMS (+64 273):
Maybe you should get a life
<Timestamp unavailable>
brendon_mccullum42: Mate did you mean to post this?
trrrent_: Shit, no shit shit shit
trrrent_: Deleted
trrrent_: Fuck
trrrent_: It was up for four minutes. Tim’s going to kill me
brendon_mccullum42: Mate don’t panic, I’ve seen worse and that was up for four years
trrrent_: Really? Who?
brendon_mccullum42: I’ll tell you next time I see you
brendon_mccullum42: Ask me about washing socks and buy me a drink to help repress the memory afterwards
trrrent_: Um
brendon_mccullum42: Honestly, just write it off as #banter
trrrent_: You can get away with a lot as #bantz
brendon_mccullum42: Hope you don’t mind that I took a screenshot
trrrent_: You fucking WHAT?
brendon_mccullum42: Screenshot. Sorry
brendon_mccullum42: I just can’t pass up the opportunity to greatly disappoint someone close to me
trrrent_: It’s times like this I’m never sure if you mean your brother or your wife
brendon_mccullum42: I could show this screenshot to other people you know