Chapter Text
“Why didn’t you tell me you were alive?” Aster demands to know, fists clenched. He remains cemented in the doorway, torn between choices. He’s indescribably relieved Zane is alive, wanting desperately to be by Zane’s side if not climb directly into the hospital bed. Aster needs Zane’s skin against his hand, proof that the older teen really is there. However, most of Aster, the part that causes him to hesitate, is terrified, afraid moving any closer will prove the friend before him is merely an illusion, disappearing from Aster’s life permanently like everyone else has.
Zane blinks, staring at Aster. “Oh.”
The inadequacy of Zane’s reply breaks the floodgate keeping back Aster’s emotionality. “Zane!” Aster surges forward, the door clattering behind him as he kneels beside the hospital bed. Though the produelist didn’t receive the verbal reassures he desperately craves, Zane’s understated surprise is enough to prove it’s genuinely Zane. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? I could have helped…!”
“You did help; I was able to fight the greatest duel of my career because of you.”
“And I still would have helped you, even if you had told me about your heart condition,” Aster argues, blinking away the tears stinging his eyes. “Zane…” Aster starts again, throat tight but pushing through it, “I didn’t sacrifice myself in that other dimension for you to just got and throw your life away.” Zane doesn’t respond; the need for catharsis building within Aster, constricting his chest. He’s losing control of the words spilling out, looking at Zane in desperation. “Why didn’t you tell me you were alive?”
“I assumed you were aware.”
“Well, I wasn’t!” Aster shrinks back from the tempest growing in his voice, small frame shaking with a maelstrom of hurt and betrayal it can’t possibly hope to contain. “Jaden mentioned you; he figured you already told me. How come you told Jaden but not me? I thought you were my friend, Zane…” Aster’s fingers claw at the sheets, head bowing under the weight of his tears he would prefer not to shed.
“I didn’t tell Jaden either; my brother has been handling my affairs while I recover. I’ll have to talk to Syrus about letting people know I’m alive. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you Aster.” Large hands rest a top Aster’s tentatively, cool from poor blood circulation.
Aster clings to Zane’s offered hands like a lifeline, gripping to the point the older teen noticeably winces. Aster can’t bring himself to relax his hold, terrified loosening his grip now will allow Zane to slip through his fingers once more. “I am hurt. The whole time we were traveling through that other world together as Dark Heroes… I think I finally started to understand friendship. To be able to sacrifice myself to save you and Jaden, I was so happy to help my friends. But I wasn’t helping you at all; you died and I did nothing to prevent it!”
“No.” Zane’s insistence is as firm as his tone. He doesn’t have the strength to pull Aster off his knees, but Aster feels Zane tugging as his suit jacket. Aster raises his head slowly to look at Zane, the weight of his guilt making it difficult. “Aster, I didn’t tell you I was dying, but not because I thought you would hold me back. I didn’t want to burden you any further. I’m sorry.”
Zane slowly lifts a hand to rest in Aster’s silvery hair, stroking it gingerly. Aster shudders, deeply moved by physical touches he’s only received sparsely his whole life, tears renewing in earnest. Sobs wrack through Aster’s body, the younger teen crawling into Zane’s bed to be comforted. “It wouldn’t have been a burden.” Aster’s voice is weak, but his resolve remains strong. “You should’ve told me. I thought I was the dying one, but I came back to life, to Duel Academy, to discover it was you who was dead. If I had known… I didn’t get to give my proper goodbye.”
Maybe Zane realizes Aster’s projecting his own regrets about his father’s murder- the guilt of causing his death, the inability to tell his dad Aster loved him one more time before he was gone forever- or maybe Zane doesn’t, but the older teen still holds Aster best he can. “Maybe I should have, but I’m alive, Aster. There’s no goodbyes you need to give.”
“I-If you die again without my knowledge, I won’t forgive you.”
“That’s fair.”
“Not that I want you to die!” Aster reassures, sitting up properly. He feels calmer, the dark clouds in his heart starting to ebb away. “What are you planning to do now, Zane? You accomplished your mission already.”
“At first, I was satisfied with that, but I still have room to evolve. I’m building a deck from scratch, becoming a new Zane. My brother and I are going to start our own pro league; that’s my new dream.”
“Dream?” The word feels foreign on Aster’s tongue; he’s never allowed himself to think like that since his father’s murder. Aster was an avenger, dueling with his father’s cards as a means of finding his killer, but that goal has been achieved. The past year, Aster’s life has been purposeless, going through the motions of being a pro duelist for no other reason than to have something to do. “Could… Do you think that can be my dream too?”
“You’d be a great asset.” Zane’s smile, though small, sparkles in his eyes, lifting a hand to Aster. Aster takes it, grip firm but not longer suffocating, for a handshake. “Welcome to the team.”