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When he was a kid Liam used to think that love was an amazing, beautiful thing. He had the image that animated movies gave him, Disney princesses finding their prince charming and conquering everything.
His mom once told him that whenever he was watching some Disney movie he would always get this shine in his eyes, that he would seat straighter on the couch, eyes glued to the TV and mouth parted. She would tell him how precious it was to watch him drinking everything in and smiling when the princess and the prince finally kissed.
Liam’s head and heart were filled with fantasies, they were filled with ideas of what would happen when he was older, how would be the first time he fell in love.
In the beginning, he thought it would be love at first sight. He thought that he would look into someone’s eyes and that the world would stop and everything except whoever was in front of him would stop mattering. He thought that things would go easy and that whenever he saw the love of his life he would know right away.
When Liam was seven, there was this girl in his class who Liam thought he loved like a Disney prince loves a Disney princess. At first, he had hated the way she dresses as well as her pigtails, but then she had kissed his cheek and he had given her a flower and he thought it was forever, that they were meant to be. But then she had kissed some other guy’s cheek and Liam only felt sad for a few hours before going back to playing with Mason as if nothing had happened. He figured that she hadn’t been his true love and that she wasn’t his Disney princess.
When Liam was eleven, he understood that love at first sight wasn’t for him while noticing that maybe he didn’t need a Disney princess when he could have a Disney prince. There was a boy in his school that Liam didn’t like at all. He was annoying and loud and full of himself whenever they played football and he scored a goal, he annoyed Liam to no end, but in the back of his mind Liam still thought that he was pretty and that it would be nice to maybe hold his hand and kiss his cheek, but then the boy would be annoying again and Liam would let those thoughts go.
The first time Liam really fell in love it was with someone he had never thought he would fall for.
From the moment they met, Liam and Hayden had bumped heads, they had argued and even ended up punching each other that one time. They had been at odds for years but, somehow, along the way things had changed. Liam had started feeling things for her, he had started to want to hold her hand and kissed her cheek like he had with those two kids when he was little. He wanted to be able to look at her and hold her.
And for some time he was able to. They dated and they kissed and loved each other, things were amazing, Liam learned what it was like to love and be loved, he learned how it really felt to be dedicated to someone and what it was like to smile with just the thought of them. It had been perfect while it lasted and Liam couldn’t help but think that Disney didn’t do love justice.
But then Hayden had to move away, she had told him one they when they were sitting in his bed watching a movie. There had been tears in her eyes and a frown on her lips, she had looked at her lap before looking him in the eyes and telling him that she was moving with her sister to another city, They could have tried to keep their relationship and make it work despite the distance, but both of them knew that it wouldn’t work so that had been the end of their relationship. Hayden had left that day and Liam hadn’t seen or talked to her again ever since.
It had hurt at the beginning. It had hurt a lot and Liam couldn’t go through a day without missing her and wanting to have her by his side again, but he knew that things were the way they were and that he couldn’t do anything about it. He hated Hayden for leaving but he couldn’t blame her, it wasn’t her fault, things like that happened all the time and he would eventually move on. The problem was that eventually took a while to come around and during that time Liam suffered.
He ended up making a connection in the back of his mind. The girl he had liked when he was seven ended up with another guy (yeah, they were kids and it didn’t mean anything but it helped Liam’s argument so he used it), the guy he had liked when he was eleven turned out to be an annoying idiot and Hayden, the first person he truly loved, had had to move away, leaving him with his broken heart in his hands.
And Liam thought that maybe it was because it hadn’t been love at first, that maybe love only worked out when it was at first sight. So, Liam decided that he would keep away from anyone who he bumped head with from the moment they met, afraid that his history would repeat itself and leave him sad and hurt all over again, like loving Hayden had done.
That resolution worked for some time, Liam stayed away from anyone who could end up destroying his ambition of not falling in love. That is until he met Theo. Theo who came into his life, smirked at him like the asshole he is and fucked everything up for Liam.
Everyone knew that Theo and Liam didn’t like each other, they were always arguing, throwing sarcastic comments and punches at each other more times than it would be recommended, they would disagree with the other whatever the topic was, they would be at odds at all times.
It was like Hayden all over again, except more intense and harder to stop and stay away. It scared Liam to no end, knowing that he was already halfway to what he had felt for Hayden, so he had tried to push his thoughts as far away as he could, he tried stomping on them and crushing them under his weight.
He tried it all, but then Theo would smirk, Theo would laugh at him, Theo would tease him and rattle him and Liam knew that he was doomed, he knew that there was no going back anymore, he knew that his feeling wouldn’t go away even if the thoughts of Theo leaving him were in his mind at all times.
Pushing his feeling away hadn’t worked so Liam, being the idiot he is, let them run free. Let them do whatever they wanted.
That’s why he ended up kissing Theo in the middle of an argument. It had been about something stupid like all their arguments, but Theo had been looking far too smug and Liam was so tired of hearing the asshole talk in that conceited tone of his, his pretty lips in a smirk and his eyes shining in challenge, he hadn’t been able to help himself.
He had grabbed Theo, pushed him against the nearest wall and proceeded to make him shut up and forget about the argument Liam was clearly losing.
Liam had felt like he won then and it had been good.
Good until they parted and Theo looked at him with wide eyes, good until Theo raised an eyebrow and chuckled, good until Theo’s confused expression left his face, good until Theo turned around with a smirk and left Liam standing alone.
Theo Raeken was an asshole, Liam knew that and he knew that that would end up being the reason why he would fall for him and end up hurt once again. He knew that and he tried to stop it but it was for nothing because the feelings didn’t go away and his heart was clenching painfully in his chest like he had dreaded.
He had avoided Theo for some days then, stayed away from him while trying to sort his feelings out and forget that Theo existed. He tried to avoid him at all costs, but they went to the same school, the town wasn’t exactly small and Theo didn’t seem to want Liam to want his peace, so it really wasn’t hard for him to corner Liam at the end of class one day.
Liam wasn’t stupid, he had seen Theo looking at him longingly during those days when they didn’t talk, he had seen the other boy’s eyes trail after him and he had felt the shivers that the stares caused, but he wasn’t sure what to make of all of it.
“Let me go, Theo,” Liam had tried to set his arm free when Theo had grabbed it.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” Theo asked, ignoring him.
Liam scoffed.
“I can’t believe you’re asking me that, Theo.”
“Well, I am, so can you just answer?”
Theo was scowling down at him, a frown on his face and glare on his eyes and Liam really wanted to punch him. He wanted to punch him hard enough to make him open his eyes and stop with the bullshit he was pulling.
“You don’t get it, do you? You’re such a fucking asshole, Theo.”
Theo rolled his eyes.
“No shit, you have known that for months and only now started avoiding me, so what the fuck happened.”
“You’re really fucking dense!” Liam screamed at him, hating that Theo was so stupid that he hadn’t even understood what had happened. “I kissed you and you fucking laughed at me and left. Did you seriously expect me to go back to how things were before as if you hadn’t fucked up my heart?”
Theo seemed to have been stunned into silence, his eyes were wide and his mouth was opening and closing without any sound coming out. He looked genuinely surprised by what Liam had told him and Liam had always thought that Theo was a smart guy, as annoying as he was, but now he just thought that Theo was really dumb sometimes. How could he be this surprised?
“I- What?”
“Seriously, Theo?”
“I- I thought you had kissed me because you wanted to make me shut up and win the argument.”
“That was one of the reasons,” Liam shrugged. “But I don’t go around kissing everyone I argue with.”
“So, you’re telling me that you kissed me because you wanted to? That you meant it?”
“Goddammit, Theo, why are you so clueless when it comes to this?” Liam huffed. “I did mean it. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he said and tried to pass by Theo only to have him grabbing his arm first.
“Liam, wait.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I laughed and that I hurt you. I just, I’m not used to emotions and feelings and what I felt when you kissed me was so weird for me. And you’re supposed to hate me, so I thought it was nothing serious. That’s why I preferred to act as if it didn’t happen and try to forget it, being vulnerable isn’t easy for me, Liam.”
“Being vulnerable isn’t easy for anyone. Do you think I wanted to fall for you? Do you think I wanted to get hurt again like I did with Hayden? I didn’t want it, Theo, but you made it impossible for me not to fall for you.”
“You- you love me?” Theo asked with a confused expression on his face that made Liam’s heart break, warm and beat faster all at the same time.
“Maybe not yet,” he admitted. “But I’m going in that direction.”
Theo looked at him with an open expression then, his eyes shining and beautiful and a smile on his face, it was such a beautiful sight that Liam’s breathe was taken away and he lost all hope of not ending up in love with Theo. He knew it would be impossible not to.
But, with Theo’s lips pressing against his, he couldn’t help but think that whatever the end was, it would be worth it, Theo was worth it.
And if Liam had thought that Disney hadn’t done love justice when he was with Hayden, he definitely thought that Disney didn’t have a clue about love now because the things he felt inside of him whenever he was with Theo, whenever they talked, kissed or touched, was nothing like Disney had suggested. It was more, so much more, and Liam would be happy to explore all of it for the rest of his life, as long as Theo was next to him.