Chapter Text
Dan woke up from his sleep to a dark room dimly lit by the sunshine trying to peek through the grey London rain clouds. He blinked a few times to adjust from the black behind his eyelids to the sad excuse for light. His eyelids felt heavier than usual from crying himself to sleep.
Once he was oriented to his bedroom surroundings, his eyes glanced over to the ticking clock hanging over his doorframe. 8:13 , he read. After a quick second or two of reading the time again and processing it, his eyes widened and he jumped out of bed.
Shit. Dan realized he pressed snooze on his 7 AM alarm several times. He was now 13-going-on-14 minutes late for his shift at the café. Dan hurriedly stumbled into the bathroom to brush his teeth, change into his uniform, and then he slid into his shoes and coat before he locked his flat and ran down his apartment stairs.
The café, which is horrendously named Joe’s Joe , was three subway stops away from his home. Dan pulled out his cell phone from his jeans pocket and called Joe, the owner of the café if that wasn’t apparent enough.
“Joe, I’m so sorry, I overslept and I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” he desperately rushed to say while simultaneously speed walking. Dan is definitely not the most fit person so he constantly thanks his long legs for allowing him to cover more ground in less time.
“Daniel Daniel Daniel, you know we’re always busiest on Monday mornings. Hurry up!”
Dan could hear the clattering of equipment through the phone before Joe hung up.
He had been working at the cafe for 3 years now. Joe is the father of his childhood friend, Jake, who gladly helped Dan when he was going through a rough time with his family. He became like a father to Dan, so whenever Dan disappointed Joe, he always felt horrible.
Dan sprinted out of the subway car and up the stairs the second the doors opened at his stop. He could feel beads of sweat forming on his forehead from all this physical activity his body was not used to. It was mid-May, so the warmer temperature wasn’t helpful in his situation.
Once he reached the store, he sped walked straight to the back, wet a paper towel and wiped the sweat off his face. He then washed his hands and tied his apron on before heading back to the store front.
On his way, he popped his head into Joe’s office and said a quick “I’m so sorry!” before joining his fellow employees. He doesn’t miss Joe’s stern, but slightly worried glance before stepping towards the cash register to relieve Adelaide of her duties.
“How mad is he?” he asked over Adelaide’s shoulder while pointing his thumb in the direction of Joe’s office.
“Not Hulk, but I think he’s really stressed out about something today,” she responded as she shuffles to the back counter to help Oliver with drinks. “But seriously Howell, you know I hate taking orders when I don’t have to!”
“I know, I know! I’m sorry, Addy. I’ll make it up to you later!” He flashed her a quick smile before turning his attention to the next customer in line.
Dan put on his best fake smile and pepped up his attitude to take people’s orders. He found it easy to fool people into believing he genuinely cared about how their day was going or how nice the weather outside was, as especially evident by the amount of people who left tips in the tip jar.
The morning rush slowed down at around 10:30 AM, so Dan leaned his back against the counter and crossed his arms as he caught up with Addy about new gossip.
Adelaide and Dan became close friends when she started working there a year ago. She reminded Dan of Snow White because of her short, dark hair and porcelain complexion. They usually only hung out at work because they both work full time, but they occasionally went out for drinks on Friday nights after Dan’s shift ends because Addy has that day off.
“Do you reckon you’ll be brave enough today?” Addy asked Dan.
“I don’t know… probably not,” he responded with an unsure shrug.
Every week day, at 11:30 AM, a man named Elliott comes into the coffee shop and orders a large caramel macchiato. He has jet black hair, black rimmed glasses that make his blue eyes pop, and wears well-fitted suits.
Dan had secretly been crushing on him ever since he started coming into the shop a month ago. He’s always a stuttering mess whenever he takes Elliott’s order. The only information he’s personally gotten from him was his name and whether he was having a good day or not.
Addy had been the one to relay that Elliott recently started working at the law firm nearby whenever Dan had days off and she was at cash.
“What are you guys talking about?” Oliver asked after he finished cleaning some blenders.
Oliver has only been working with them for a few days after switching over from the evening shift. He’s a young, single dad whose daughter just started school, so he wanted to be able to be home with her in the evenings. His personality would be classified as “bro”, but the more Dan gets to know him, the more he sees how nice, genuine, and caring of a person he is. He’s sure fatherhood had been a positive force in his life.
“Danny here has a little hopeless crush on that guy who comes in every day. He’s trying to decide if today’s the day he writes his number on his cup,” Addy responded with a smirk.
“Thanks for announcing it,” he hissed.
“The one with the glasses?”
“That’s the one!” Addy said as Dan pulled the neck of his shirt to cover his face in embarrassment.
“Aw, don’t worry about it mate! I swear I see him looking at you every time he’s in here.”
“Really?” Dan lowered his shirt so his eyes were now visible.
“Mate, I wouldn’t lie. I swear!”
Dan could feel his face getting hot as he revealed his mouth and neck again from his black t-shirt. Was he that much of a mess when Elliott came in that he misses him staring?
“Hey, can one of you come give me a hand with reorganizing the stockroom?” Joe popped his head out the door, interrupting their conversation.
“Sure thing!” Oliver departed towards the back of the store.
Addy and Dan continued to talk about Elliott. They discussed how perfect the quiff of his hair was, how blue his eyes were, and how nice his ass looked in the plaid suit he wore last week.
“Speak of the devil,” Addy said as she gave Dan a little wink and nodded her head in the direction of the door.
Dan turned around and instantly felt himself hold his breath.
“Hi, welcome to Joe’s, um, l-large caramel macchiato again?” Dan asked with wide eyes staring at Elliott. He looked extra handsome today, but that just may be because Dan hadn’t seen him since Friday.
“Hey! Yes, thanks. I guess I’m a regular now,” he said with a small laugh.
All Dan could do was respond with a weak laugh while internally face palming himself.
He turned to pass the cup to Addy who mouthed “do it” to him. Dan just shook his head “no” and mouthed “I can’t”.
After Addy finished making his drink and placed it on the counter for Elliott to take, he raised his cup, said “cheers” and dropped some coins into the tip jar before walking towards the exit.
Dan could only watch as this fine specimen turned away from him.
“Howell, I’m disappointed!” Addy shook her head as she placed a hand on Dan’s shoulder and watched Elliott leaving too.
“I am too,” he said with a sad sigh. “But whatever. A guy like him is way out of my league. He probably isn’t even gay.”
Oliver returned from the back room as Addy exclaimed a loud “finally, I had to pee really bad” before heading off to the bathroom.
30 minutes later, the bell over the door rang as another regular to the coffee shop walked up to the counter.
“Hey, what can I get for you today?” Dan asked, more confident than he had been with Elliott.
“Hm, think I’ll try a medium green tea latte today. Is it any good?”
This man who also happened to have black hair, black glasses, and blue eyes, was named Phil, but he wore plaid button up shirts instead of suits.
“Yeah, it’s one of my faves!” Dan responded with a smile.
“Do you have any new pastries this week?”
“We got this cherry cheese danish that’s pretty good if I do say so myself.”
“Great! One of those too!”
Dan rang up Phil’s order. Phil always overpaid and told Dan to keep the change.
He handed the cup to Oliver so he could start making the latte. He was so busy grabbing the danish and making small talk with Phil that he didn’t see Oliver shifting his gaze mischievously between him and Phil, then grabbing a Sharpie off the counter to write Dan’s name and number on the cup.
Oliver popped a sleeve over Phil’s cup so only the words “call me” were visible. He figured Dan would never do something so gutsy on his own, so he decided it was a good idea to step in and help a brother out.
He had never been present whenever Dan and Addy mentioned Elliott by name, all he knew was the man’s description which Phil matched perfectly. He somehow was always busy in the back, helping Joe with tasks during the down time whenever Elliott came in, so he had never witnessed Dan swooning. Though Phil wasn’t wearing a suit, Oliver just assumed that he was just having a casual day.
Phil grabbed his cup and said, “Hope you have a good rest of your day. See you tomorrow!” He gave Dan a small wave and little smile before heading out.
“He sure comes in here a lot,” Oliver said as he stood beside Dan.
“Hm, yeah I guess he does. He must work nearby.” He shrugged, not giving it a second thought.
When 4 o’clock rolled around, Addy and Oliver departed while the evening staff took over. Dan stayed back and entered Joe’s office.
“Joe, I’m really sorry I was late this morning,” he said as he sat in the wooden chair in front of his desk.
“Daniel, you know you’re like a son to me, yeah?”
Dan nodded as he looked Joe in the eye.
“You’ve been late for your past 3 shifts. What’s happening? Something wrong?”
Dan always forgot how perceptive Joe was to his behaviour because he’s known him since he was 8 years old.
Dan and Jake met in school and became fast friends. Dan was over at the Marano household a lot because Dan’s mom didn’t really care too much about his whereabouts.
His own home was practically unlivable due to his mother being a hoarder who neglected decluttering the house or taking care of Dan properly after his father passed away suddenly. She met her current boyfriend, Matt, when Dan was 18. When Matt found out that Dan was gay, he turned Dan’s mother against him and kicked him out of the house.
Dan showed up at Jake’s house and the Marano’s took him in instantly and treated him like the family he should’ve had.
Despite his mum, Judy, not defending him; she would often call him in the middle of the night whenever she and Matt had a big fight. One time, Judy begged him to come pick her up from their house. Dan returned to the Marano’s home alone with a split lip and a shiner gifted by Matt. His mum changed her mind when Matt was yelling insults about Dan’s homosexuality while hitting him.
Dan insisted that the Marano’s not call the police and then proceeded to lock himself in his room, cry himself to sleep, and not eat for a week after the incident. The Marano’s supported Dan through all of it and they made sure he got the best help he could get. Dan, now 25, still regularly attended therapy to help him navigate his thoughts and feelings so he won’t fall into that black pit of emptiness again. But whenever he hears from his mum, his mind goes spiraling and it gets hard to focus on things like sleeping or concentrating.
“My mum called me a week ago. I didn’t pick up, but she left a voicemail. Something about how Matt’s gone and we can be a family again. But I can’t trust it, not after the last time she said the same thing,” Dan said as he stared at the folded apron on his lap that he took off.
The last time he heard from his mum was 3 years ago. Dan was already having a hard time with his internal struggle of staying in his law program to not disappoint the Marano’s or dropping out because his heart wasn’t in it. His mum called and said she left Matt and needed somewhere to stay, so Dan welcomed her into his flat hoping things would really be different. They got along well for a few weeks until he overheard her talking on the phone to Matt.
“What do you mean I have to choose?” he heard her ask.
“Dan is my son, he needs me!”
Dan felt slight happiness and thought his mom was finally putting him first.
Until he heard her say, “Okay, I’ll be there tomorrow morning.”
Dan’s heart shattered as a tear rolled down his face. He walked over to his bedroom, shut the door, and pulled the covers over his head.
In the middle of the night, he heard his bedroom door open. His mom planted a small kiss on his forehead before retreating the way she came. The front door creaked open and close.
The confirmation of his mom’s choice sank in and Dan started bawling into his pillow.
When he woke up the next morning, the only note he found was a Post-It on the kitchen table that said “I’m so sorry!”
“I’m sorry Daniel, I wish you told me or Helen,” Joe’s face looked red with rage when Dan looked up at him.
Joe always hated how incompetent of a mother Judy was. How she couldn’t be strong for her own child and could just abandon him at the snap of a finger.
“I thought it was something I was old enough to deal with on my own,” Dan said quietly.
“I never want you to deal with anything on your own. I love you, okay? You’re the only son I have here with me ever since Jake decided he wanted to travel the world than be here with his old man.”
Joe stood from his chair and walked around his desk to pull Dan into a hug. Dan was a few inches taller than the older man, so he bent his head down so his chin could rest on Joe’s shoulder.
“I love you too, Joe. Thank you, really, for everything. I can’t say that enough,” Dan looked him in the eye.
“I’ll have Helen make that herbal tea blend that helps with sleep. I bet you’re not having much of that since Judy called.”
Dan nodded.
As he started walking towards the door, he turned back around, “is everything alright with you, Joe? I heard you were having a stressful day.”
“Nothing for you to worry about, son.” Joe shot him a small smile. Dan could tell he was hiding something, but decided not to press him.
He tossed his dirty apron in the hamper before walking out of the shop towards the closest subway station.
By the time he got home, it was already 6 PM. He decided to order an Indian takeaway because he was too lazy to cook and clicked play on the remote so he could watch Queer Eye on Netflix while he ate.
Dan felt moved by the changes these men made to become better versions of themselves at the end of every episode. He couldn’t help but cry whenever someone on the show cried. He felt inspired to start making changes in his own life, such as figuring out what he wanted to do for the rest of it.
I wish I had my own Fab Five to sort my life out , he thought.
Before he could get up to grab his pen and notebook from his bedroom, his phone pinged. The only people that texted him were Joe, Addy, and Oliver when he had a question about work or wanted to switch shifts. He felt a little worried that it would be his mum.
Unknown number: Hey!
Dan’s breathing halted for a second as he rushed to compare the number his mom called him from and the number texting him. He released the breath he was holding when he realized they were different.
Dan: Who’s this?
Unknown number: Oh, probably should have said. It’s Phil!
Dan raised an eyebrow at his phone. The only Phil he knew was the customer from the coffee shop.
Dan: Phil from the coffee shop..?
Unknown number: Yeah! I know you said to call, but I thought texting would be easier.
Dan felt very confused because he had no idea what Phil was talking about.
Dan: I don’t actually remember giving you my number.
Phil: Oh
Phil: You wrote it on my coffee cup.
He thought back and could clearly remember not doing that. The only other person who was there was Oliver. That son of a bitch , Dan thought.
Dan: Phil, crap, I’m really sorry. I think my co-worker must’ve wrote it on your cup for some reason.
Phil: Oh
Phil: Don’t even worry about it. Sorry for bothering you.
Dan: No, Phil, I’m sorry! I’m sorry about all of this!
Dan never received a response back from him. He felt a pang of guilt even though he technically did nothing wrong. What possessed Oliver to give Phil his phone number? He’ll have to wait until tomorrow to get his answer.