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“I never want to leave this sunset town
But one day the time may come
And I'll take you at your word
And carry on
I'll hate the goodbye
But I won't forget the good times”
-Good Times, All Time Low
Iwaizumi didn’t know how he always seemed to end up in these kinds of situations.
No. That was a lie. He knew exactly how he ended up in these kinds of situations; and it was Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and definitely Oikawa. So, he knew the how. It was the why that he didn’t have. Why did he listen to them? Why did he go along with their ridiculous plans? He knew they were stupid. He knew that whatever they came up with would end up badly, because it always did.
But still -here he was. He had let them drag him out of bed at three in the morning after they had snuck into his house and scared the life out of him. He illegally rode in Hanamaki’s father’s car with them, knowing that Hanamaki was still not of legal driving age and did not possess a driver’s license, and could be arrested at any moment. He’d helped find a big enough bush to hide said car and helped them park behind it. And now he was standing outside in the shivering cold, in the middle of the night, in front of a very dark, very closed Aoba Johsai High School, with flashlights and three giggling idiots, trying to get in.
It was in times like this where he began to question his judgement and life decisions.
The four of them were gathered around the familiar entrance of their school with Oikawa at the front, pulling at the door. The rest of them were helpfully huddle around him shining their lights, to help guide him in his fight against the lock.
After a prolonged battle, Oikawa was forced to admit defeat. He gave the door one more tug, in a last attempt to pry the thing open by force. The door -shockingly- remained shut.
Oikawa let out a frustrated tsk as he let go of the handles. “It’s locked,” he said crossing his arms over his chest.
“No shit, Einstein,” said Iwaizumi. “It’s the middle of the night, of course it’s locked!”
“Stop making so much noise, Iwaizumi,” said Hanamaki. “My God.”
“Yeah, you’re going to get us all caught. Use your head for once, will you?” added Matsukawa.
Iwaizumi elected to ignore them, being that the alternative was a lot bloodier. More fun, yes, but it would require a lot more effort afterwards. He needed to save his energy. He had a feeling he would need it for whatever was about to take place in the next few minutes.
Nothing had happened yet, but he could already feel it going from bad to worse. It was instinct. A skill he had developed having known Oikawa for an entire lifetime and perfected in the last three years when he added those other two idiots into the mix.
“What are we even doing here?” he asked for the tenth time since he had been forcefully taken away from the warm embrace of his bed and set off on this trip of theirs.
“Iwa-chan,” said Oikawa, exasperated. “We’ve been over this.”
“Humor me.”
He let out a dramatic sigh, as if the very thought of explaining it all to his friend was too exhausting to manage. “Fine. I swear Iwa-chan, you can be so slow sometimes.”
“Yeah, Iwa-chan,” said Matsukawa.
“Why are you the worst?” chimed in Hanamaki. As always, being as unhelpful as they could possibly manage.
Iwaizumi fought the urge to punch them all, and instead, settled on just punching the one.
Oikawa squealed. “Iwa-chan, you savage!” He rubbed the shoulder that collided with Hajime’s fist, and glared at his friend. “My goodness. Look.” He straightened up coming up to his full height, which Iwaizumi hated. Every time he would tower over him like that he was overcome with the need to kick him in the shins and bring him back down to his eye level. “We graduate tomorrow.”
“I’m aware,” said Iwaizumi. “And I must say, we’re a tad bit early for the ceremony.”
“We graduate tomorrow,” he said again, louder as if to try cancel out Iwaizumi’s previous statement. “We are leaving high school forever. Not only that, but the four of us are all moving away. Far away from each other, to different parts of the country. Who knows if we’ll ever see each other again.”
“We’ll see each other again,” said Hajime without a moment’s hesitance. “Holidays, vacations -we’re not dying Oikawa.”
“We might as well be. Makki and Mattsun are going to Kyoto. You’re going to Fukuoka, and I’m going to Sapporo.”
“I know.”
“That’s really far away.”
“I know.”
They had talked about it a lot in the last few months. Especially after they lost at the Spring Tournament. They had too much free time on their hands after that, and too much of it was spent thinking about how they wouldn’t be on the same team anymore. Or the same school. Or the same area code for that matter.
He remembered it clearly. The day they had sat in Oikawa’s living room after months of interviews, talking to college recruiters, and looking at brochures. They were seated around the coffee table as they usually were. Mrs. Oikawa had brought over some tea and they were going over their notes, studying for their entrance exams. It was then when he told him his decision. That he was going to Hokkaido University, literally on the other side of the country from where he was going.
He didn’t like thinking about it. He also didn’t like to think about how he had gone home and cried right afterwards. He knew why he did it and why this was the best choice for him. He was proud of him, but at the same time, he couldn’t believe it. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea of not living next door to him, or seeing him every day.
He also didn’t like to think about how the next day he found out where his other two best friends were going. Again, it had felt like the rug had been pulled out from under him.
It’s not that he was angry at his friends. Quite the contrary, he was happy for them. He was excited to see where they were heading in life, but the realization that they wouldn’t be an active part of each other’s lives anymore shook him more than he had anticipated.
“We’ll see each other again,” he said more to himself, this time. Forgetting for a moment where he was or that his friends were there.
“The point is,” said Oikawa breaking Iwaizumi away from his thoughts, “that the team is being torn apart and disbanded.”
“The team is still around. They’re playing next semester. Yahaba’s the new captain, remember?” he mocked.
“Not the volleyball team, Iwa-chan,” said Oikawa, rolling his eyes. “The team. The Fantastic Four.”
Hanamaki through his arm around, Oikawa. “The Fearsome Foursome!”
“The Four Musketeers!”
Everyone turned to Matsukawa, a combination of puzzled and pitied looks spread across the three of them.
Hanamaki placed a gentle hand on Matsukawa’s shoulder and broke the news to him first. “There were only three Musketeers, Issei.”
“Wasn’t there a fourth guy around?” he said, looking around to his friends for conformation.
“Yeah,” Iwaizumi shrugged. “But he wasn’t technically a Musketeer.”
“Why? Didn’t he do everything with the other three?”
“Yes,” said Oikawa. “But he lacked the flair of a Musketeer.”
“Right,” said Hanamaki. “Kind of like how Spiderman is just a little too lame to officially be an Avenger.”
“Oh.” Matsukawa nodded. “Ok. Well, then Iwaizumi can be that guy.”
Iwaizumi turned away from them. “Fuck you guys,” he said and scanned the area with his flashlight making sure they were still alone.
Oikawa threw his arm around his best friend and leaned against him. He had one of his perfect smiles on. The ones that looked too nice and too friendly, that Iwaizumi hated. “Don’t be so sensitive, Iwa-chan.”
As quickly as it had come, the patronizing look disappeared and in its place was his real smile, as Iwaizumi referred to it. It was softer and there was a vulnerability in his eyes that only a selected few in the world had ever been allowed to see. The look in his eyes wasn’t despaired, it wasn’t loss of pride, or being lost in his own head as it often was. It was nostalgic. A melancholic yearning for something, that Hajime wasn’t entirely sure what it was.
It hit Hajime then that this was not a spur of the moment thing. He had probably thought about this a lot, which didn’t surprise him. Oikawa always thought everything through, often to the point of over thinking. Whatever was about to happen meant something to Oikawa. He didn’t know what, and that didn’t make it any less stupid, but it meant something to him. Which meant that Iwaizumi was going to go along with it most likely, despite his better judgement. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t know why he always had this huge compulsion to take care of the idiot, but he did. And now, it was starting to look like he had no other choice.
“The point is this,” continued Oikawa, still draped over his best friend. “Tomorrow marks a new beginning, but it also represents the end of a lot of good things. Great things. Including me walking down these halls, living in this town, and going to this school with the three of you.” Iwaizumi didn’t punch him because he knew he was hiding his true feelings underneath the layer of cockiness, but it was hard to push back the instinct. “We cannot leave this place, leave all of this behind, without one last big hurrah.”
“What are you talking about?”
“One more big thing that marks our time here. Leave behind our mark. A legacy! We can’t just leave.”
Iwaizumi sighed and rubbed his face. “Let me take a look,” he said as he turned toward the doors.
“Yes! Thank you Iwa-chan!”
He crouched down to be at eye level with the lock. “Whatever, dumbass.”
“Really, Iwa-chan, is the vulgarity necessary?”
“I think so,” said Hanamaki, a nodding Matssun looming behind him. “It’s part of our dynamic.”
“I mean, if we’re gonna do it, we might as well do it right.”
There was a chorus of laughter behind Hajime. He smiled at the sound and thanked God that no one could see how genuinely happy he got when Oikawa actually laughed out of joy. They were rare sights.
After examining the lock Iwaizumi reached into his pocket and pulled out his key ring. The thing was littered with more keys than any one person should possess, but he sorted through them with ease, until finally reaching the one he was looking for.
The sound of the door unlocking was amplified by the silence of the sleeping country side. “Got it.”
Hajime stood up and turned back to his friends. He had to hold back the laughter when he saw the looks on their faces.
“You had the key the whole time?” said Matsukawa, dumbfounded. “Why didn’t you pull it out sooner? We’ve been messing with that door for like, twenty minutes.”
“Never mind that,” said Oikawa, crossing his arms. “How do you have the keys to the school?”
“Coach gave me a copy of all the keys after I became Vice Captain.”
“I know,” he said, the irritation leaking out of his words. “He gave them to me too, but we were supposed to give them back weeks ago. Did you steal them Iwa-chan? Did you directly disobey the orders of our coach?”
“No,” it was hard to keep the pleasure out of his voice. “He told me to keep mine for a little longer in case we needed them. Yahaba is still getting used to the responsibilities that come with being captain and he was worried that he might end up locked out of the school until he gets used to carrying the keys around with him.”
“He didn’t tell me to keep them!”
Hanamaki nodded. “That makes sense. Iwaizumi is more reliable.”
“I was the captain of the team for almost two years!”
“Very true. Doesn’t make Iwaizumi any less reliable.”
Oikawa gasped and soon a tiny argument broke out between the three of them. Although he was yelling and his face was all scrunched up from being melodramatic, he was glowing. There was a glint in his eye that he only ever saw a few times in his life.
Iwaizumi unsuccessfully held back a smile. “Whatever,” he said, breaking up the argument. “Are we going in or not?” He pushed the door open for his friends, revealing a pitch-black entry way.
They shouted in celebration, the previous argument being left behind. Hanamaki and Matsukawa rushed passed him and ran down the hall making too much noise and being as obnoxious as ever. Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa and urged him forward with his head. He rolled his eyes, but smiled and made his way through. Iwaizumi sauntered behind him.
They walked down the empty halls of their school. Making their way past through the dim glow of the light that seeped through the windows. Relying mostly on touch, sound, and memory itself. Iwaizumi found it unnerving seeing Seijoh this way. So empty and quiet. Lacking its usual life and movement. It was almost unrecognizable.
“It’s so dark,” said Mastukawa, tracing the wall.
Hanamaki pulled up behind him, and draped his arm over his shoulders, a crocked grin that you could see perfectly despite the lack of proper lighting, adorned his features. “Don’t worry, Issei. I’ll protect you.”
Matsukawa elbowed him in the stomach, but he didn’t push him away.
Iwaizumi kept shining his flashlight around, highlighting the small details of the building. It all looked so different at night, but at the same time it was painfully familiar. It even smelled the same.
He remembered the first time he had walked down these halls as a first year. It had been so intimidating back then. He felt there was an expectation to him since he had been recruited for his skill as a volleyball player.
Everyone seemed so much bigger than him, at the time. So much older. He felt so small, but it was exciting. It was an entirely new court, a new ball game.
“This way, Iwa-chan.”
Absentmindedly he followed the sound Oikawa’s voice. Soon enough he realized where they were going, and butterflies started to grow in his stomach. They were walking down the path that lead them toward the gym.
They had walked that path every single day, multiple times a day, for three years. He knew it well. He was sure that if they blindfolded him and dropped in the middle of nowhere, he would still have no problem finding his way to that volleyball court. It had become a second home for him. He probably spent more time there than he had in his actual home.
The thought that after tomorrow he would probably never see it again, weighed on his heart.
They reached the heavy doors and Iwaizumi pulled out the key. The sound of the lock unhinging echoed through the empty halls. The ripple of the sound caused smiles to break on their faces.
He felt a bit foolish, getting excited over going to the gym, but he couldn’t help it. It was like a kid getting a brand-new toy at Christmas, or like Oikawa watching a movie about aliens. No matter how many times it happened, it never stopped being a rush.
He pushed the doors open and they trailed in one by one. The sound of their sneakers hitting against the freshly polished floor broke the silence of the night. Hajime smiled. Even though it was empty. There was no net set up or players running around. No balls flying through the air going every which way, and no coach screaming drills at them; it still comforted him. It sent a warm feeling throughout his body, and made his muscles twitch in anticipation.
He remembered the first time him and Oikawa had walked into that gym. They had done it together as they did everything else. Oikawa had his usual cocky confident smile on, but he could see how nervous he was. Behind his air of confidence, there was always doubt and insecurity. He hid it well, but Iwaizumi could always see through it.
The gym was full of boys and girls all in their gym-wear. Volleyballs flying left and right. There were people doing diving drills at the far end of the gym, while another group practiced their serves. There were little clusters of students huddle together engrossed in conversation, laughing and making fun of one another.
“First years! Line up!” yelled the then captain of the team. Iwaizumi remembered thinking that he looked way to broad and chiseled to be a high school student.
As instructed, all the first years came running from wherever they were and lined up carefully. They didn’t know it back then, but the four of them had stood next to each other on that first day. A small coincidence. A chance encounter, that set up the chain of events that would lead to the unique experience that was their three years at Seijoh together, where they would be nearly inseparable.
The freshman introduced themselves one by one. Last name, first name, previous school, position, happy to be here.
“Alright,” said the coach getting up from his seat. “Pleasure to have you all here. Now, before we begin official practice, we like to play a little friendly game between the first years. Just to see what your made of.” Iwaizumi caught a hint of a mischievous smile on the coach’s older face. If you blinked you would have missed it.
Iwaizumi’s stomach turned.
He split all the new students into teams. There were too many to make two teams of six but not enough to make four. So, they settled on making four teams of four and doing two matches. The two winning teams from each match would then face each other at the end.
Iwaizumi was nervous. That was his first real test to see how well he could play at high school level. How he performed on that day would set the tone for the next few years to come. But, while he worried about impressing his team, he was excited. They had jumped right into it and if there was one thing he was confident about, it was his and Oikawa’s ability to play volleyball and do it well.
Their team was going to be taking part in the first match. They huddled up together in one of the corners of the gym, while the upperclassman got the court ready. He hadn’t noticed the other two until that moment. They were both tall, taller than Iwaizumi, which annoyed him, but wasn’t at all surprising.
“Hey,” said the one with the strawberry blonde hair and a look that made you think he was probably taking the piss out of someone. If he knew then what he knew now, he’d be sure that he was. “It was Oikawa, right? And Iwaizumi?”
“That’s right,” said Iwaizumi. The boys shook hands, and he took note of his strong grip and calloused palms. Clearly, he was no newbie to the sport. “Wing Spiker. He’s a Setter,” he said gesturing at Oikawa with his head. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too. I’m Hanamaki. Wing Spiker, also.”
“I’m Matsukawa,” said their fourth teammate, shaking Iwaizumi’s hand. His face was a blank canvas. With his droopy eyes and relaxed posture, it was hard to tell what he was thinking, but there was a hint of mischief hidden their as well. In the corners of his mouth the threatened to give way to a smirk. Like maybe he was in on whatever Hanamaki was doing. He probably was too. “Middle Blocker.”
Iwaizumi nodded. Two wing spikers, a setter, and a middle blocker. A pretty well-rounded group. He made a mental note to pay a little more attention to their defense.
“Nice to meet you both,” said Oikawa. His tone was as polite and pleasant as it always was. Iwaizumi could already tell he was sizing them up. Analyzing the situation and seeing what they had to work with.
They probably were all thinking the same thing. No one wanted to lose, especially on their first day.
“I know this is our first time playing together, but don’t worry. Just go for the hit and I’ll toss it. If you have any preferences let me know, and I’ll make the necessary adjustments, okay?”
They all nodded. Though they barely knew each other, the energy between them was all too familiar. It was the comfortable air of competition. The adrenaline of a good match and not knowing how it’ll play out. Eager smiles were shared between the four of them.
“Alright,” said Oikawa. A smile that resembled more of his natural one took over his features. Iwaizumi knew he sensed what he did. “Let’s see what these guys are made of.”
And that was it. They ended up the victors of their First-Year Mini Tournament and had been inseparable ever since.
Iwaizumi smiled at the memory. Who knew that something so simple, so routine in their lives, would result in a friendship like theirs.
He was brought back to the present when the sound of his friends’ footsteps got farther away. A little alarm went off in his head. “Oi,” he shouted after them. “Where are you going?”
He had assumed that once they had made it to the court, they would be playing some volleyball. A casual two-on-two match to commemorate their time there. It wouldn’t have surprised him if that was the reason they had come all the way there.
Oikawa looked at him over his shoulder and smiled. “It’s a surprise.”
The uneasy feeling in Iwaizumi’s stomach grew stronger. He could already feel the regret settling in. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” he mumbled to himself as he hurried to catch up with them.
He had no idea where they were going until they got there. It just confused him even more, and solidified his weariness.
“What are we doing here?” he said as he stared at the empty swimming pool. They had never spent much time there, apart from the few P.E. lessons that had to do with swimming and CPR. He could probably count the times that they had been there and none of them had been particularly memorable or special. So why they made an entire trip to go there of all places in the middle of the night, made less sense now than it had at the beginning of their trip.
“This,” Oikawa threw his arms open, gesturing at the vast empty space around him, “is our legacy, Iwa-chan!”
He looked at it again. The water reflected the light from the moon that leaked in through the windows. Rippling ever so slightly from the gentle breeze of the chilly spring air that snuck into the building. It was very pretty, he had to admit, but there wasn’t anything spectacular about it.
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“Take your clothes off, Iwaizumi!” shouted Hanamaki.
“What?!” Iwaizumi turned to his friend. He could feel his face growing hot and changing colors as he stared at him in sheer horror.
“We’re skinny dipping.”
“What?!” Oikawa’s explanation didn’t make the situation any better. If anything, his nonchalance and the look on his face made it worse.
“Come on, don’t be shy,” said Matsukawa. He draped an arm over his shoulders and leaned on him, a smirk on his face. “Show off the great body of yours.”
He pushed Matsukawa off him, causing the boy to chuckle. “You’re insane. Every single one of you. And I’m the craziest one for listening to you and following you here. I’m going home.”
He turned to leave while he still had his pride with him. Before he could take more than a step, he felt someone grab his arm. He didn’t need to look to know who it was.
“Come on, Iwa-chan.”
“Don’t ‘come on’ me. I am not skinny dipping.”
“Why not?” said Hanamaki. “Right now, we look as good as we’re ever going to get. It’s all downhill from here, my friend. As our careers as athletes reach an end, so too will our smoking hot bodies. Everything will grow softer and less defined like freshly pounded mochi. And all of this,” he said gesturing at all of Iwaizumi, “will be nothing more than a memory. Which will too be washed away with time. So why not honor them, Iwaizumi? Just this once, and show our bodies how grateful we are to have had them. Even if just for a little while.”
Matsukawa wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “That was beautiful, Takahiro.”
“Thank you.
“Skinny dipping?” Iwaizumi stared at his friends convinced that this was it. They had finally lost their minds. What little wits they had between the three of them were now gone. “No way. No. Not happening.”
“Look,” said Oikawa, the tone in his voice shifting. It was no longer lighthearted and teasing, but unwavering and uncharacteristically serious for the situation. “Iwa-chan, these are the times we are going to look back on and remember when we’re out there living. Growing up and following our dreams. We can’t let our last memories of us as a team be this depressing. There has been too much mopping the past few weeks. Too much talk of ends, and last times, and tomorrow is going to be another day full of tears and goodbyes.”
He looked at Iwaizumi pleading.
“We’re leaving tomorrow. Whether we want to or not. The good times everyone is always talking about are coming to an end, and I just- we need to make one more. One more memory. One more stupid thing that we’ll look back on and laugh. One last burst of adrenaline, before it all changes forever. For the better, sure. Maybe. But it’s changing none the less. We can’t just let it go without a proper send off.”
There was a desperation, in his voice. A yearning that broke Iwaizumi’s heart. He knew his best friend was on the verge of tears and he was too. Which contradicted everything he was saying.
“Now, take off your clothes and jump into our high school swimming pool, like a grown up, and quit your wining.” Oikawa smiled with tears glistening his eyes. “You know you want to.”
“I really don’t,” he said though he felt his resolve slipping.
In that moment, slightly distorted by the light of the swimming pool, he saw his childhood best friend. Exactly as he was all those years ago with that look on his face that always made Hajime nervous, even when they were kids. His eyes sparkled. They were locked onto something he wanted and he was going to get it, no matter what. “One last hurrah, Iwa-chan. Are you in or are you out?”
He understood how he felt. It did feel like they had ended things on a bitter note. They were all spreading apart, they were no longer part of the volleyball team, and then just to make things worse, they had lost. Ended their high school volleyball careers prematurely.
Hajime saw the glow in Oikwa’s eyes and the huge grins on his two best friends faces, and it wasn’t that it suddenly felt like a great idea, but that he knew he was going to do it anyway.
He let out a long, dragged out sigh, which the crowd interpreted as an overwhelming yes. He was in. They threw their fists in the air, whooping like idiots. Hajime shushed them. Not because he was worried they would get caught, but because he didn’t like his moments of weakness to be thrown back at him.
They all stripped down, and with every layer they peeled off, the regret grew inside Hajime. It was freezing cold and the chilly air was hitting him in some very uncomfortable places. He couldn’t imagine this being anything short of unpleasant.
Soon their clothes laid in piles at their feet. Oikawa stood with his back straight and his hands on his hips. He thought Hanamaki and Matsukawa looked much too comfortable given the circumstances. Meanwhile Iwaizumi was trying not to shiver and attempting to think of a way to convince everyone to put their clothes back on and drive home, but he knew it was useless. It was too late.
Hanamaki and Mattsukawa were the first ones in the pool. They ran at it at full speed and dove in, cannonball style. Water escaped the pool in splatters and waves. Oikawa laughed and jumped right after. He went for a swan dive. It was classier, more elegant, and definitely Toru’s style. Though still not as on board as the other three, Iwaizumi smiled and trailed after.
He jumped in before he could give it another thought. The icy water shot through his system, contracting every one of his muscles, and vibrating in his skull. It was the kind of pain that made you more aware. That woke you up and set off your survival instincts.
He swam back up to the surface and took a sharp gust of air to fill up his now frozen lungs. “Holy fuck, that’s cold!”
“No shit, Einstein.” Oikawa laughed.
Hajime splashed water on his face.
He looked over at his friend who was absolutely radiant at this point. He hadn’t notice how completely muted he had become in the weeks past. Maybe because they all had been. But now, it was crystal clear, and he was happy to have his friends back.
Soon their laughter overtook the empty space. Bouncing off the walls of the pool and travelling all the way down the halls.
For people that were in there illegally and trying to be sneaky about it, they were making a lot of noise. Partly because they knew they wouldn’t get caught, and partly because they just didn’t care. They were swimming naked, in the middle of the night, they were beyond worrying about it.
They lost track of time as they reverted to their most devil-may-care selves and took joy in the ridiculousness of it all. They raced each other to see which one had the best form. They attempted the different kinds of strokes there were and laughed at each other when they sunk to the bottom of the pool.
When they got bored with that, they started dunking each other underwater and watching how the water came out of their noses when the floated back up. They made inappropriate jokes all revolving around their current state of bareness until they were no longer funny. Which took longer than most people would believe.
Once Iwaizumi noticed how violently they were all shaking and how their lips had turned a concerning shade of purple, he decided that it was time to get out. There was some pushback from the group, but once Iwaizumi made clear to them the dangers of hypothermia, they followed suit.
When out of the pool, Oikawa threw his arms in the air. “We’ve done it!” he yelled, through chattering teeth. “We’ve left our mark.”
“Yes,” said Matsukawa. “Our sweet butt cheeks will remain, staining the swimming pool walls, for years to come.”
“It will inspire generations of students to come to do better. To work harder. And maybe, one day they too might have an ass as sweet as Iwaizumi’s.” Hanamaki smiled.
“Shut up,” he laughed and shoved his friends playfully.
“Admit it, Iwa-chan,” said Oikawa turning to Iwaizumi, giving him an impudent smile. “This was a great idea.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” However, he couldn’t deny that despite how stupid this was, he did have a great time. There was no need to admit that out loud, though.
They made their way back to their abandoned clothes. Hajime was rubbing his soaking arms to try and get his blood to circulate again. He hoped that the friction would bring back some warmth to his extremities before they snapped off. “Where’re the towels?” he said.
His three friends all froze in place and looked at one another expectantly.
“We don’t have any towels,” said Matsukawa.
“You didn’t bring any?” shouted Oikawa, exasperated.
Hanamaki shrugged. “We didn’t think that far ahead.”
“You never do,” said Iwaizumi with a smile. Normally he would get angry, but again, he felt like he was beyond it at that point. He was much too exhausted from coming down from his adrenaline rush.
He lay down on the floor to take advantage of the floor heating and dry off. He closed his eyes and let the warmth soak in through his skin all the way down to his bones. Slowly melting away the chill of the water.
He felt his friends follow his lead as they shuffled around him. They laid on the tiled floor and made a circle between the four of them. Eyes closed, they let their bodies get warm in silence.
In a weird way it reminded him of the past three years together. Not the naked part, or the breaking and entering part, but being so effortlessly happy. There was a casual comfort, an ease that came when the four of them were together. Whether it was Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s laid-back attitudes that counteracted Oikawa and his dynamic of bickering and snapping at each other. Or the fact that no matter where they were and what they were doing they could always find a way to make a joke out it. Or maybe it was something else entirely. He wasn’t sure; but it was always pleasant.
He couldn’t count the times they had all gotten together and laughed until they couldn’t breathe. The hours they spent together playing volleyball and coming up with new strategies for their matches. The countless weekends they had spent together doing nothing important. The many late nights they had spent at each other’s houses studying and helping Matsukawa pass his exams.
Even the not so great memories. Like losing every time they faced Shiratorizwa, or not even making it to the final round on their last tournament as high school students, as a team. They could have been a lot worse, but the fact that he had them made it easier. Because they could cry about it together. They could bitch and moan about it without fear of judgement, but when it was time to move on, they could laugh about it together.
He wondered how he would deal with that in college. He wouldn’t be able to just open his bedroom window and call for Oikawa when he wanted to talk or couldn’t sleep. Or pick up his phone and make plans with his friends when he needed to get away.
They all seemed to be lost in their thoughts as they looked at the patterns the water made on the ceiling.
“Does it ever stop being sad?” said Hanamaki breaking the silence that had swallowed them up.
“I hope so,” said Matsukawa. “If not, that would make us pretty pathetic.”
They chuckled.
“Besides, it’s not that I’m feeling sad, exactly. I just constantly feel like I’m going to throw up.”
“Hot.”
“We’re starting over,” said Iwaizumi, trying to be the voice of reason as he always was. “Moving away from home, to a new place, with new people, with new things to do.”
“Yeah,” he said. “And I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
“You never do,” Hanamaki said, teasing, but there was a hint of something in his voice that Iwaizumi couldn’t quite pinpoint. “But none of us do, and we’ve made it this far. We just have to keep doing what we’re doing.”
“But how? What have we been doing? How do we keep doing it? And how the hell are we supposed to replicate that on our own out there?” he said gesturing at the air around them.
Iwaizumi sensed the edge in his friend’s voice. “It’s normal to have an existential crisis,” he said trying to calm him down.
“It’s not really an existential crisis,” said Oikawa, his voice low and steady, as it would often get when he was thinking out loud. “It’s fear.”
The fact that he, out of all people, would admit something like that, so bluntly, spoke to how true the words were.
The air became think and sticky like glue, chocking them with the realties they had been running away from. The words hung in the air over all of them, demanding to be acknowledged. They rang with honesty as they dug themselves inside Iwaizumi’s head.
“It’s going to be okay, guys,” he said trying to ease some of the tension that had settled in the room. His voice was steady, but it lacked certainty and confidence. “It’s intimidating to be staring your future in the face.”
Iwaizumi felt Oikawa tense up beside him. “What if we fail?” he said.
The ‘we’ was a crutch. He knew that his friend was talking about himself. He could feel his anxiety radiating off him. Oikawa’s biggest fear had always been failure. Of not being good enough, of always coming off short by the smallest centimeter. To be so close to his dream that he could touch it, and have it violently taken away from him by someone else.
Failure was never an option for him, but it was always at the forefront of his mind. Their last match had sent him crashing right into that fear.
“We’re not going to fail,” he said, a gentleness in his voice that rarely made an appearance.
“You don’t know that,” he said. He could hear the panic creeping its way through.
He was wrong about that. He didn’t know in the sense that he couldn’t see into the future, but he knew. He knew that Oikawa would make it to the top and go even further than that. However, he lacked the ability to communicate that properly to his friend.
“You’re not going to fail,” he said again.
Oikawa scoffed. “Very insightful, Iwa-chan.”
“Listen, it’s normal to be unsure,” he said, trying to find the right words. “Especially at a time like this where everything seems to be changing all at once and it feels like you’ve lost control of everything. Because you have. It’s out of our hands. We don’t know what’s going to happen, but we have to trust it’ll all turn out ok. Which I know is easier said than done.”
Iwaizumi wanted to hit himself at that point, he was so frustrated. He kept tripping over his own words and saying the wrong thing. He was trying to sound comforting and sure, but he felt just as lost as the others. He didn’t have all the answers. Hell, he didn’t have any of the answers.
“It’s okay to be scared of your future,” he said. “Everyone is.”
“What are you afraid of, Iwaizumi?” said Hanamaki.
All his fears and worries played out in front of him. He’d been trying not to think about them for the longest time and now they all came pouring out at once like water from a dam. One, however, stood out more than the others. “I’ve never been alone,” he said, his voice smaller than he had ever heard it.
He knew that that was down at the core of his worries. It was something he’d never experienced before. Ever since he was a baby, he had Oikawa and in a weird way he was his safety blanket. Even if he felt like he was the one that had always taken care of him, Oikawa took care of him too. Having Oikawa there helped him deal with life, because he never had to go through anything alone. That sense of security only grew stronger when he met Matsukawa and Hanamaki.
There wasn’t a moment in his eighteen years of life where he didn’t have someone to lean on in case he needed it. He always had someone at his disposal that he could call on at a moment’s notice. He was terrified about the fact that he wouldn’t have that anymore.
“Aw, Iwaizumi’s lonely.”
Iwaizumi hit Hanamaki’s elbow, and the boy chuckled. “That’s easy for you to say, dumbass. You’re taking Matsukawa with you.”
“Hell yeah, he is.”
The two boys fist bumped and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, though he was smiling.
Iwaizumi let his thoughts simmer. They had been in denial about it, but there it was. They were sad about leaving, of course, but that was only at the surface. Deep down they were just scared. Scared about moving forward. Scared of what waited for them ahead.
“Man,” said Hanamaki. “We really are pathetic.”
They all laughed breaking away the tension. “I guess so,” said Iwaizumi.
“Don’t tell our recruiters that,” Matsukawa teased.
The chuckles echoed in the empty gym and the knots in Iwaizumi’s stomach began to unfurl. The pit he hadn’t realized was there, began to dissolve and he could breathe easier. The air felt lighter and he felt he could finally take in a deep breath. Like for the last month of his life he had only been able to take little huffs of air at a time, and now he could finally fill his lungs with oxygen.
They always had that effect on him. They always had that effect on each other. They couldn’t worry too much about anything when the four of them got together. He knew that even though they were being spread apart, they would still have that. They could still rely on each other to know when something was wrong and that they would know how to fix it. Distance and time couldn’t dissipate that.
They may not be going to the same school anymore, but they were still a team. And while everything was changing, nothing would change that.
“We don’t have anything to worry about,” said Iwaizumi. “Come on.” He got off the warm, comfortable floor and was hit by a sharp gust of cold air. He repressed a shiver and stared down at his friends. “Let’s get dressed. It’s weird that we’re having this conversation naked.”
“It’s the best way to do anything, Iwaizumi.”
Oikawa’s laugh erupted out of him, his glow from before coming back. “I’m gonna miss you guys.”
They shuffled around as they sorted through their clothes, hurrying to get dressed. As he put on his many layers he couldn’t help but revel in how different he felt.
Nothing had changed. The facts were still the facts, but they didn’t seem quite as daunting as they did before. He couldn’t explain it, but there was a shift all of a sudden. As if finally acknowledging those worries was what they needed.
Iwaizumi finished zipping up his jacket and looked down at his watch. “We should probably go home. We have to be up in a couple of hours for the graduation ceremony.”
They all nodded.
The time had come. It was time to leave.
They headed out the door, their damp hair dripping onto their jackets. They were making light conversation, retelling what they had just done in hushed tones and making plans to do something else after graduation later that day.
When they reached the volleyball court, it all came to a full stop. They hovered at the door to get one last look at it as it was.
He could still see it. All those memories that he held so fondly, playing in front of him like a movie reel. They were locked inside this gym, and they would never leave. Even as team players came and went, their ghosts remained contained within those four walls, locked away in time.
He smiled before turning to leave, locking the door behind him.
They walked out of the building in silence. Taking in the last few moments of their night. Outside they breathed in the pine scented air waking up their dulling senses. They were met by the lining of the trees that made up the familiar horizon that outlined the city.
The sun was starting to peek through the mountains, taking away the darkness as they got deeper into the morning hours. Hanamaki’s borrowed car was just peeking out from the top of the bushes. Iwaizumi was starting to feel the lack of sleep and the strain of being out all night. He stifled a yawn.
Halfway to their car they stopped. They looked back at the front doors of Aoba Johsai High one more time.
They knew they were leaving behind a good team and in the grander scheme of things, that it wouldn’t miss them as much as they would miss it. In a weird way, that was a comforting thought. It would keep going and doing bigger and better things, just like they would.
“A lot of good times we’re leaving behind,” said Oikawa. He had a feeling that at that moment, he was just talking to Iwaizumi. He was wistfully looking back at the building that had taken care of them for so long. Who gave them friends, a team, and a future to look forward to and to be completely terrified of as well.
“They’ll always be here,” he said.
They smiled and walked away.
They jumped into the car where Matsukawa and Hanamaki rolled down the windows. They played music on the radio that was much too loud for how early it was, but no one complained. Not even Iwaizumi. Today, he let the wind blow on his face and be just as carefree as the others.
They drove away, Aoba Johsai becoming smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror. Slowly fading into the background as they moved forward.