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Your dorm room is eerily silent as you stare up at the ceiling. Physically, you’re exhausted, but your brain just won't stop chattering and every time you close your eyes, you see...that.
The image of Kaede Akamatsu dangling from a rope, her lifeless body swinging as you and your fellow classmates stood helplessly, unable to do anything but watch as the lid closed, slamming shut and crushing her, the music going silent. Forever.
No matter how many times you try to banish the image from your mind, it won’t go away. You feel sick - actually, physically sick - as you think of how painful her death must have been, how drawn-out and humiliating. How pointlessly cruel of Monokuma to do that to her. You’re sure you’re not the only one thinking about it, either. You were Kaede's friend, but you could only imagine the pain Shuichi must be going through right now. You exhale and pull yourself into a sitting position. It was no good, there was no way you can sleep like this - and honestly, even if you did, you'd probably just have nightmares.
With that gloomy thought lodged in your mind, you climbed out of bed, combing your fingers through your hair. You need to get out of this unnervingly quiet room.
As you carefully shut the door and cross the dorms to the front door, you're surprised to see a figure crouching in the grass across the way. You step outside, curious, ignoring the goosebumps rising on your skin.
"Kaito?"
Kaito lets out a rather undignified noise, turning rapidly to face you.
"H-hey! Don't sneak up on me like that!" he yelps. "Jeez!"
"What are you doing out here?" you ask, leaning against the door and folding your arms.
"I...I was training with Shuichi, but I guess my pipe fell out of my pocket. What are you doing outside?"
You sigh and glance away.
"Couldn't sleep."
"You too, huh?" Kaito says, making a face of commiseration. "Well, can't say I'm really surprised. Anybody would find it hard to sleep after...well, after seein' that. It's kind of why I was out here, actually. I was trying to help Shuichi get his mind off things."
"Take his mind off things?" you repeat, eyebrows raising. Somehow you don't think Shuichi can be distracted from something like that, like a crying child you're trying to mollify with jingling keys. "How?"
"Training, of course!" Kaito says, like it should be obvious, flashing a dramatic thumbs-up. "I'm helping Shuichi get stronger. He is my sidekick, after all."
When did he even decide that? You think.
"I don't think doing press-ups is going to make him forget about watching Kaede die right in front of him." is what you actually say, and you blanch at how harsh you sound - you didn't intend for it to come out that way, but it's the blunt truth, isn't it?
Kaito winces.
"I'm not trying to make him forget her! That's the last thing I wanna do!" Kaito says, clenching his fist. "But how is he supposed to move forward if he sits around moping?"
"I guess you have a point," you concede, even if you do think the way he's going about it is a little simplistic. But you're not in a position to throw stones, really - it's not like you've done anything proactive since the trial. "Well, don't let me keep you up."
You move out of the way of the doors, figuring that Kaito is probably tired from whatever crazy exercise regimen he was doing with Shuichi, but instead of going inside, he frowns at you and plants a hand on his hip.
"Wait, you're going to wander around outside? It's the middle of the night!"
"I already told you, I can't sleep," you roll your eyes.
"Don't be so reckless! It's dangerous for you to be alone at night!" Kaito says, sounding thoroughly exasperated. "I mean, I'd probably be okay, but you..."
"What? Because you're so strong and tough and I'm so weak and helpless?" you growl, folding your arms. "Don't give me that bullshit, Kaito!"
"That's not what I meant!" he protests, but you're not convinced and thus continue to glare at him. He puffs. "Jeez, you sure are stubborn. Hey, I have an idea. Come with me a sec."
You look up at him and for a moment you hesitate - should you really go somewhere alone with Kaito, when nobody knows you're out here with him? But you brush that thought away - Kaito's not a killer.
He leads you around the back of the dormitories and begins climbing the stairs that wraps around the back of the building. You wonder if anybody will look out of their window at this time, because if they do you can only imagine the pointed questions about what you and Kaito were doing late at night together. The thought makes your face turn red and you're very grateful that Kaito has his back to you right now.
"So...now what?" you pant as you finally reach the top - the roof is much lower down than the academy, but it's still strange to see the path you've been walking for the past few days from up so high.
"Now, you gotta lie down!" Kaito says brightly, grinning widely.
You stare at him flatly.
"You want I should lie on the cold concrete?" you deadpan.
Kaito looks exasperated, but with a dramatic roll of his eyes he shucks off his coat and lays it down like a picnic blanket.
"Happy?" he says. "Now c'mon, lie down already!"
Knowing full well that he won't stop pestering you until you do this, you reluctantly sit down and then lie back, grateful for the coat, though you wish you'd thought to put something warmer on, yourself. With a wry glance at Kaito from the corner of your eye, you wait for something to happen.
"I'm failing to feel the magic, here."
"Tch! Stop complaining," Kaito says, lying down beside you, his body taking up so much space compared to yours. "Look up."
You do, and fall silent. High above, the sky is brilliantly clear, the moon almost full. Perhaps it's because of the isolated nature of the academy that lends to the absence of artificial light, but you've never seen the constellations so clearly before. If it weren't for the dome-like cage around you, you could almost forget the killing game, if only for a moment.
"Do you come up here every night?" you ask Kaito, speaking quietly, as if a loud voice might ruin the moment.
"Nah, not every night. It's usually not as clear as this,” Kaito replies casually. “But look at it right now! Heh. Someday, I’m gonna be up there, looking down at you all from a spaceship. That’s my Ultimate goal!”
You look at Kaito, his hand stretched up to the sky as if he intends to just reach out and grab himself a handful of it. Even being in a killing game, even after Rantaro and Kaede’s death, he can still somehow look toward the future with hope, confident that you’ll get out of it somehow. When you first met Kaito here, it was easy to dismiss him as being naïve and maybe kinda dumb. But you can see that’s vastly underselling him, because you need people like Kaito in this situation, someone who thinks with their heart over their head and is able to keep going. It’s all too easy to wallow in misery, but a guy like Kaito, who boldly goes forward no matter what…he might be exactly the kind of person who holds the group together.
You turn to say that – or something like it – to Kaito, accidentally pressing yourself against him, but he’s pointing up at the sky and seems oblivious to your embarrassment.
“-see that?” he’s saying.
“…Huh?” you reply, blinking as you’re abruptly brought back to the present.
“Over there,” Kaito says, laughing at you a little. “Look. It’s the Milky Way.”
You turn your gaze to where Kaito is pointing and feel his shoulder nudge yours as he settles more comfortably on the jacket. The stars are bright in the sky, scattered across the pitch black canvas like tiny jewels.
“That’s amazing,” you say, sincerely. “Really.”
“Right?!” he says, with an enthusiastic grin that is almost infectious. He points to more stars. “And that one up there is Canis Major – see that arc just there?”
“That’ the one with Sirius in it, right?”
“Right!” Kaito glances at you and you can’t help but notice how close you are to him, close enough to notice the lavender of his eyes, the sharp angle of his jawline. “Brightest star in the constellation. Oh, and if you look over there you can just about make out some of the others…”
You listen to Kaito talking about space and though his voice is loud in the stillness and his gestures are enthusiastic, you find yourself starting to relax. It makes no sense – here you are in the middle of the killing game, plagued by nightmares and currently lying on the roof in the chilly night, yet Kaito there beside you seems to be enough to chase that away, or at least his loud rambling about space is enough to drown some of it out. The cold air does begin to worsen the longer you stay there and you find yourself shifting closer to him, not particularly thinking about what you’re doing. You pull the coat a little tighter around you.
Maybe it’s thanks to being able to let your guard down that does it. Or maybe it’s from hearing a comforting voice in your ear and near someone warm. Either way, you can feel your eyelids becoming droopy and a yawn leaves your mouth. You should say something, or at least do something to stay awake, but…you’re so tired and he’s so warm…
“And over there you can see-” Kaito is saying, when a soft snort interrupts him.
He looks over to see you’ve actually fallen asleep on him, cheek squashed against his shoulder, your chest lightly rising and falling with each slow breath. The small frown on your face that’s hovered on your brows since the trial is gone, smoothed out so your countenance is placid and relaxed. Kaito stares at you for a moment, caught off guard by seeing you looking so peaceful and vulnerable, and then lets out a snort.
“Jeez, falling asleep at a time like this? I guess she wasn’t kidding about being exhausted.”
Still, as Kaito carefully moves and slips an arm underneath your legs and one around your back, he actually feels a twinge of peculiar relief. Like Maki, you’re the type of person who doesn’t like to show whether they’re struggling and it leads to people falling apart. He should know. But he’s glad that he’s helped you out in some small way, even if it didn’t turn out quite how he expected.
It’s not all that hard to carry you downstairs, still wrapped up in his jacket, though managing to open the door without waking a sleeping girl is a little trickier, but he manages. Kaito nudges open the door to your room with his shoulder, feeling vaguely like he’s trespassing as he steps carefully inside, minding not to step on anything – he really doesn’t want anybody witnessing him leaving your room in the early hours.
He goes to take his jacket back, but when he tugs at the fabric you frown and mumble what might be a protest…he has to admit it does suit you, though he can’t quite put his finger on why you wearing an item of his clothing (a bit unknowingly) makes his chest feel warm. Instead, Kaito lightly ruffles your hair, feeling the silky strands beneath his fingertips and a blush rises to his face.
“G’night…” he says, deciding he’ll collect the jacket in the morning. It’s not like he needs it back so urgently, right? “Sweet dreams.”
You obviously don’t answer him, yet as Kaito retreats from the room and closes the door, Kaito swears he saw the faintest hint of a smile on your lips. And if that’s not a good reason to go stargazing in the middle of the night, he doesn’t know what is.