Work Text:
Insanity Runs in my Family (It Practically Gallops)
On a scale of one to ten, Kagami could confidently say it was the most awkward dinner she had ever attended. And that included that one time she had a meal at the Yamanaka’s that began with Sai calling her mother ‘Ugly’. She still wasn’t sure if Ino-san’s ceiling had recovered from that meal.
The Hokage’s residence was deemed an appropriate location, both in security and neutrality, for Team Seven and their respective families to dine together. Kagami figured it was because, if anything happened, Konoha’s coffers could cover the cost of replacing it. Or at least, that was the hope.
For the safety of the offspring, Naruto declared that the kids would dine at the other table. Kagami approved of this course of action. Especially after Uchiha Sasuke arrived with his wife and daughter. He had stared without blinking at Itachi for a very long time and directed enough killing intent at her father that Naruto geared up and try and interfere.
Then Sakura, with none of the reservations of her blond teammate, stepped between her former teammate and her husband, flared her killing intent with the same precision she wielded a scalpel, and had all the men in the room wincing - Itachi included. That fact she did it with a blinding smile and didn’t stop her conversation with Hinata and Karin was just more proof Kagami’s mother was awesome.
The food was delicious and Kagami tried to keep her attention on that rather than the black eyes peering at her from behind glasses. Sarada, apparently her cousin, younger by three years, and just as surprised as Kagami was with sudden influx of family and relatives she hadn’t been told about, sat across from her.
Though, up until a week ago, Kagami hadn't known she had an uncle. Or an aunt. Or a cousin. Or that it would even be an issue. Her family had been travelling since before she had been born and only settled down back in Konoha less than a year ago. When Sasuke was away. Not wanting to rattle chains, her parents kept to the far side of Konoha, and promptly believed that if they ignored the situation, and didn't tell Karin, Sasuke could be told when he was less likely to try and kill Itachi. Again.
Then Sasuke came back. Discovered his brother was alive, he was an uncle, and his teammate was his sister-in-law. When Kagami thought about it that way, perhaps Team Seven’s three-way destruction of the grounds to the north of Konoha was warranted.
And her mother complained about Kagami not telling her anything.
Sage above this was weird. It was probably too late to go back travelling- surely there was some medical herb her mother hadn’t found yet and would want to find and research- preferably as far away from Konoha as possible for as long as possible.
She was still being stared at. Kagami caved, meeting Sarada’s gaze head on, asked in the same tone she reserved for her younger brother when he was being an idiot, “Can I help you with something?”
To her credit, Sarada didn’t flinch. Her back straightened and she didn’t turn her gaze away. “Boruto says you are often sent on messenger missions. By the Hokage.”
Oh great. Here we go- another comment on the disappointment that was Haruno Sakura’s eldest daughter- a mere chunin messenger. Kagami kept her expression blank. “Yes. I am.”
Sarada glanced at the rest of the table, as if ensuring they were occupied, before continuing. “It’s just that, in order to be a messenger for Hokage-sama directly, you’d have to have a… certain security clearance and some security clearances can only be given based on your skill as a shinobi.”
Kagami was too good a shinobi to let her surprise show. She had Jounin in this village not able to put the pieces together, but that was the point: ANBU was suppose to be secret after all. “Oh?” She said lightly, playing dumb, “How do you figure that?”
The Uchiha caught the tone, eyebrows furrowed just slightly, as if trying to figure out if Kagami was playing with her. She was, but not the way Sarada probably thought she was. “Common sense,” Sarada said before sticking a dumpling into her mouth. She didn’t continue the conversation either, instead turned back to her teammate.
There was a clatter at the other table, and Kagami turned just in time to hear the Uchiha Head say, in a very controlled manner as he righted an upturned glass, “You run a dango-stand.”
Itachi’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly across from Sasuke - seated the furthermost they could be away from each but still be at the same table- but enough that it was noticeable by those who knew him. “Yes. I needed something to do now that the children are old enough to take care of themselves.”
Though Sasuke hid his anger well, Kagami saw the tension in his shoulders, “Something to do? What about rebuilding the clan?”
“That is your responsibility, little brother.” Itachi replied smoothly. “Mine is to my wife, and my children. The Haruno.”
This was apparently not a good answer.
Kagami was moving before the rest of the youth at her end of the table, grabbing Yuuto and Himawari under each arm and darting clear of the flying table as it crashed when she had just been sitting. Hopefully Sarada and Boruto were smart enough to handle themselves. Her sharingan activated despite herself and she watched the kunai fly across the space where the table had been in slow motion.
Her father was moving in retaliation, dodging the kunai and on his feet in a second. Of course they were going to fight in the room- Yuuto and Kagami were put into harm’s way so, naturally, their father was going to defend them from their uncle. In someone else's apartment filled with expensive things.
Killing intent started to fill the room, Kagami stood on the balls of her feet, ready to move to the next safe place once the jutsu started flying, when Sakura, in the beautiful kimono Kagami had helped her pick out at a store in Water country, stepped in to grab both Uchiha men by the collars and tossed them clear out of the apartment through the open bay windows to the balcony. Surprise coloured both of their faces as they disappeared into the night. Kagami briefly wondered if having open windows had been a strategic decision by Hinata.
Stalking to the window, short pink hair billowing in the evening wind, Sakura crossed her arms and called down below, “Do I need to come down there, or will you two go resolve this like Shinobi of Konoha on a training ground?”
Kagami didn’t hear the response, but Sakura gave a decisive nod and turned away from the window, “I’m so sorry about your home, Hinata.”
“Yes,” Karin agreed with soft sigh, cleaning her glasses, she had managed to dodge the flying food as well. “Please allow us to pay for the damages.”
“Uh, Haruno-san?” Kagami looked down at Himawari, still under her arm, who blinked up at her. “Can you please set me down?”
“Oh- sorry, Himawari-chan.” She set the young Uzumaki down on her feet. “Are you okay?”
The question earned her a brilliant smile. “Yes, thank you!” This was why Himawari was her favorite, so polite.
“Onee-chan!” Yuuto whined from under her other arm, his dark pink hair ruffled from the save, “Come on- let me down!” With a sigh, Kagami unceremoniously released her brother to let him fall to the floor with a yelp.
“Brat.” She muttered under her breath, a glance confirmed that Boruto and Sarada had managed to escape as well and were whispering about something in the corner. A survey of the room suggested that the table had survived, but the food hadn’t. Sakura was righting the other table one-handed, while Hinata and Karin started the process of cleaning up the fallen food.
Kagami ran a hand through her black locks, and looked around for a broom. She almost ran into the Hokage as she turned around. His grin was bright and infectious as he held up what she had been searching for. “Good call on grabbing the kids.”
“Thanks.” She blinked up at him and felt two chakra spikes to the south and the earth rumbled shortly after. “I don’t suppose you’d show your appreciation and send me on a year long patrol or something.”
Naruto laughed before his expression went somewhat worried- or thoughtful. “Your mother would kill me if I gave you an out on this.”
She frowned at him, “... Is that a no?”
“I’ll see if I can’t get you into a weekly messenger rotation instead of just the critical?” Coming from the Hokage, it was practically a guarantee.
Kagami shrugged her acknowledgement, “You sweep, and I’ll hold the dust pan?”
Chakra flared again. The sounds of an explosion rocked the apartment and was promptly ignored. Sakura was lifting up the other table, one handed and somehow not messing up her outfit, high enough for Karin to duck under and collect the earthenware still in one piece while Hinata started preparing bowls of instant ramen to salvage what was left of the meal. Boruto and Sarada had started righting the chairs while Yuuto and Himawari began wiping down the walls. Kagami crouched down with the dustpan while the military leader of her village swept.
Yup.
This was definitely her life now.