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Train to Ladylake, then a rental car up to the mountains. It feels sort of unreal going home after thirteen years.
"So, will everything be okay?" Rose asks. He's already forgotten what they were talking about. "With that guy, I mean. You always look pretty pathetic when you mention him, so I figure things must be bad."
Sorey scratches the back of his head and gave a laugh, quiet with shame. "I dunno... He went off to do his own thing, and I never heard from him since."
"What's his name again?"
"Mikleo."
"Riiight," she stirs her drink with her straw. "You still in love with him?"
Sorey sputters and nearly drops his own. "I-- uh."
She snorts at him.
He scratches again, more anxiously, "Um, how did you know?"
"C'mon, we've known each other over a decade now. You weren't going to hide it from me or anyone else," She leans back in her chair and glances at the clock, making him check too. Fifteen minutes before boarding. "Dezel and Lailah figured it out first, but all of us know it."
"Aw, jeez…" Sorey leans his arms on the table and sighs. Maybe he should've known. He's never been great at hiding anything - nobody ever tells him secrets because he can't keep them. "I guess I'm not over him entirely." He admits that easily enough; he hasn't seen Mikleo in so long, he can't know for sure until he arrives.
"So?" Rose urges him on, "What happened between you two? Why have we never met him? Maybe you weren't that close after all?"
"No way, we were both orphaned and raised in the same house together," Sorey whines pitifully, "We were best friends, we did everything together!"
"And you don't call because…"
Sorey sighs again, "I think he hates me now." Rose raises an eyebrow and waits almost a full minute for him to explain. "We were gonna study together in college, but we were accepted to different schools, and-- I dunno, he probably wanted space because he was just... okay with going to school on opposite ends of the continent. We argued and I couldn't face him…"
"Was he into you?"
"Nah…" Sorey sits back upright, resigned, "No chance of that. He's way out of my league…"
"Reeeally," Rose says with apparent disinterest. "You can be kind of dense, but I guess he would've come after you if he'd forgiven you. Or if he'd been interested. Still, this isn't the kind of gossip Lailah wants, so gimme something better when you arrive."
"What."
"What? We're all very invested in your love life, don't you know? It's been a real crazy ride ever since we met you."
"I thought you were trying to be helpful!"
"Well, trying, sure. You're a mess, buddy."
Sorey whines loudly and Rose grins, sipping at her drink. There's a chime and an announcement that boarding will start, apparently almost ten minutes earlier than it should.
"Hey, so, need me to pick you up again when you get back?" Rose offers brightly, standing to walk him to the train.
He awkwardly carries his bag since the handle broke and he'd had no time to get a new one or fix it. Going back to Elysia was sort of a last minute thing, as soon as he'd gotten the news that Gramps had died. It still didn't feel real. "No idea. Probably. I'll call you when I know for sure?"
"Mm, sounds good. Have a safe trip. Good luck with what's-his-face!"
"It's Mikleo!"
"Sure, if you say so," She gives him a shove and he steps up to the platform with his ticket in hand. "Byeee!"
Elysia is so deep in the mountains that there's only three spots with a reliable cell phone signal. Everyone has landlines. At least, that's how Sorey always remembered it. Nothing changed all that much.
There is a tower built just a bit closer so maybe the reception is better, and a small town outside of Ladylake on the way that seems new, but he knows it's been there for years because as a child, he was always taken to their hospital. It's not a big hospital, but it serves about four other nearby towns. He wonders if that's still how things are. It's over an hour out of Elysia. Seems like a hazard.
After making it to town, he walks up to his old home by memory. The houses are spaced out so far apart that he doesn't encounter anyone else, and maybe that's a blessing. He couldn't imagine how much anxiety he'd build up by facing literally anyone else in town and then Mikleo.
His old key works after thirteen years of uselessly dangling from his keyring, and he follows the sound of shuffling from deeper in the house. The kitchen? Mikleo always liked making things, even when they were young and terrible at it.
And there he is, indeed. Sorey stops in the doorway, unnoticed as of yet, and watches him as he chops something. Even though he can't see his face fully, it's visibly aged. His hair is cut a bit differently from his memory, but it's the same length, still thick, with a slight curl.
"Hey," He announces himself to try and get Mikleo to turn around, quietly to try not to startle him too bad. It didn't work, he gasps and spins, holding his knife a bit tighter. Sorey falls silent again. Mikleo sure is beautiful, even after all those years. His eyes sharpen and look Sorey over as he calms down.
"Oh…" He's a little red. Not embarrassed-red, but crying-red. Sorey frowns and Mikleo shakes his head. "Um… His body is in the living room. The service isn't for a few more hours."
It takes a minute, but Sorey lowers his gaze. Gramps is really gone, after all. He should've come back sooner. "Are you okay?"
"Just trying to make sure that everything is ready when the others get here." He looks like he hasn't slept in a week. It may very well be the case. "You can stay in our old room. I'll change the sheets soon. Sorry." The unspoken part of that said that Mikleo doubted Sorey would show up at all.
He doesn't move, not yet, but sets his bag down and out of the way and watches as Mikleo turns back to his cutting board. "How did it happen?"
"He was one hundred five years old," Mikleo says curtly, "He couldn't live forever, Sorey."
There's an involuntary intake of breath, but Mikleo doesn't hear or respond to it. Sorey's eyes are wet. Mikleo's definitely still mad at him. He should leave him alone for now, maybe?
That's not in Sorey's nature, though. He works from memory, grabbing a second knife and starts peeling something he can tell needs to be peeled. Mikleo looks up at him questioningly for a moment, but says nothing, and the two of them get to work. A quiet little town like Elysia doesn't have caterers. It's kind of sad that Mikleo has to do all this himself.
Something he noticed the whole day: nobody left him alone. Not for a moment.
The others, all extended family or old friends and neighbors, they recognized him after all this time, and they kept consoling him and welcoming him home, wishing he'd come back sooner and making Gramps' death so much easier to cope with by surrounding him. He kept seeing Mikleo on the outside of things. All alone.
He'd seen little hints that Mikleo still lived in the house all over. It was so tidy and there were all sorts of new books on every shelf - not new, but he didn't recognize them even though the spines were all well-loved. There were few decorations of flowers, all in blues and whites, probably for the funeral but clearly all Mikleo's taste. Ribbons with sparkling gold draped from arrangements with various kind things written on them. It was nice.
So Mikleo lives in Elysia, evidently. The plan was once to see the world together, but neither of them had gotten very far after all. Sorey stayed mostly in his college town working for one of his professors and Mikleo… Whatever he'd decided to do with his life, he was still here somehow.
By the time Sorey managed to get away from the others, the body was already taken away and everyone was preparing to leave. They left Sorey with dozens of little envelopes for him and Mikleo, kisses on the cheek and well wishes. The storm door slams a good thirty-five times before it's quiet in the house.
Once it's dark it's dangerous to walk around outside. There's three street lamps he remembers, all near the middle of town. Nobody actually lives in the very middle of town, though.
Mikleo is sitting on the back porch, staring at the placeholder headstone when Sorey finds him again. He's been crying again, but this time they're even.
He takes his seat beside him and sighs heavily. To his surprise, Mikleo leans against his shoulder and hides his face.
"He's gone," Mikleo sounds a little hoarse.
"Yeah," Sorey answers, not knowing what else he's supposed to say.
"He kept asking about you when he was dying," Mikleo tells him, "You were so hard to track down, I couldn't contact you in time… I'm sorry. You could've said goodbye if I just--"
"It's my own fault," he hurries to say, trying to get that guilty sound out of his voice. "I should've visited. I thought about it a lot, but I just… Never made the time."
Mikleo pauses. He caught the lie, but says nothing of it. "He wasn't alone, at least."
"I'm sorry you were," Sorey says softly, wrapping an arm around Mikleo's shoulders. They're going to get eaten alive by bugs out there.
"Rose, can you hear me? Hello?? HELLO??"
"The hell, Sorey! I can hear you, don't yell into the phone like that!"
"Sorry. Reception's pretty bad up here… I can only get it in one room of the house."
"That sucks. When are you coming home?"
"I dunno yet. I think Mikleo needs help getting things settled around here…"
"Hmm! So things are going well?"
"Huh? No, nothing like that. We just need to sort through his things… There's a lot to do." He sits on an old chair that's creaky and leans back in it, finding out rather suddenly that it reclines. He remembers the chair, but not that it reclines. Weird.
"Alright. Well, you must be busy, so don't worry about us. Let us know when you're heading back though!"
"Yeah. You seem busy?"
"Got a date tonight, just trying to get the place clean. Do you think she'll care if I clean under the furniture too?"
"Probably not? She tends to not notice things right in front of her face…"
"Good point," Rose laughs. "Anyway. Get going, and I'll get cleaning. Hang in there, Lailah was doing her fortune-telling and said both of us were getting lucky."
"That's why you're cleaning?" Sorey snorts. "Oh man. Well, good luck…"
"Thanks! You too!"
She really does believe in that stuff! It cheers him up a little after the disaster that was yesterday. Mikleo hasn't said a word to him yet today, but that more than anything convinces Sorey that he has to stay longer, help him around the house. Clearly he's fallen behind in some things while helping Gramps. There's a bucket on the floor and water damage in the ceiling, so his first step is the roof.
He gets the tools from the shed and climbs the ladder up to see what the damage is. It's… bad, but a patch should be enough until he can buy the material to properly fix it.
Around midday he removes his shirt because it's boiling hot out, and he's over half done with all the problem spots. He hasn't had to do this kind of work in years! It's amazing, like riding a bike, it all comes back to him as he needs it.
He's almost done when Mikleo comes up the ladder with a glass of something in his hand.
"Iced tea…" He says, his face a bit red. It's pretty hot out, so Sorey thinks nothing of it. "Are you alright up here?"
"Yeah! How long has it been leaking?"
"I only noticed three weeks ago. I haven't had enough time…" Sorey takes the glass from him and presses it to his forehead before drinking it. The ice feels great. Mikleo keeps looking him over.
"Thanks. I'll help do more permanent repairs soon," He promises, "I'm a little burned, do we have anything to help with that?"
"Should I bring it to you now?"
"Nah, almost done. Just leave it out for me?"
"I'll--" Mikleo's voice cracks. He still looks so tired. "I'll help apply it. Lunch is ready whenever you are…" He descends down the ladder too quickly for Sorey to properly voice his thanks, but that's fine. He'll get it later.
"Your phone is blinking," Sorey says while Mikleo prepares the ointment.
"It's a voicemail," Mikleo informs tiredly. "I haven't wanted to delete it." Probably something from Gramps, then? Sorey understands. He wishes he had anything left to listen to… Maybe Mikleo will let him hear it later.
"Stay in our old room tonight," Sorey tells him suddenly. Mikleo looks up at him, baffled, the rubbing motions coming to a stop. "You look exhausted. The couch isn't letting you sleep, and if we can't use Gramps' bed…" They can't, he knows. They've barely been able to go into his room.
"What, we'll switch?"
"W-well actually I thought we'd share," Sorey glances aside, "No good?"
"We're not kids anymore, Sorey," He says, his expression sour but shy. Sorey isn't imagining the pink in his cheeks.
"So? The bed is big enough, it's not like it'd be a huge deal," Sorey argues, trying to hide his embarrassment, "It'll be nostalgic, maybe."
Mikleo turns away as though looking for another argument to keep this going, but he's just so tired, Sorey can't imagine it'll work. "Fine. We can try tonight." He resumes spreading ointment over Sorey's skin. He's so good at things like that, but because he works so quickly it stings a lot. He seems to be pleased every time Sorey flinches from pain. Yep, definitely still mad.
"What else have you got to do today?" Sorey tries to change the subject.
"I have an appointment," Mikleo answers. He doesn't look willing to give any more information than that, "And one in the morning tomorrow, as well. I'll try not to wake you."
He finishes and tosses Sorey a clean shirt. He still does laundry every day. Weird, but familiar; Sorey wonders just how many of his odd quirks he's held onto over the years.
Once it hits five PM, Sorey starts making dinner. Mikleo hasn't gotten home yet.
Okay, he isn't really making anything, but plenty of people who'd attended Gramps's funeral left him with tupperwares full of foods, so he heats one of those up and serves it and waits. It smells good, some type of curry he feels like he recognizes but he can't quite place it. He thinks he remembers eating so much of the stuff once that he got a stomachache, but maybe he's confused.
Mikleo gets home quietly, and already changed and dumped his clothes in the wash before Sorey even noticed he was back.
"Why'd you heat that up?" Mikleo asks him, tired. "It keeps better than other dishes, I was going to freeze it…"
"Oh," Sorey looks down at the table, "Sorry about that! It looked tastiest so I thought it would be nice if we ate together?" He'd somehow resisted eating all of it already. He just kept tasting it while heating it up, that's all.
Mikleo looks aside and sighs. "Alright."
He doesn't say another word while they eat, and Sorey struggles to think of things to tell him, but… Nothing seems like it would help this weird, tense atmosphere.
They both wash the dishes in silence and then head to their old room. Some of the things Sorey brought are scattered about (and he scrambles to put all of them away, tightly back into his messy suitcase on the floor), but Mikleo ignores them and gets into bed, curling up and taking as little space as possible.
It's awkward. Sorey wants to hug him, pull him close and bury his nose in Mikleo's hair, but that seems like a quick way to scare his old friend away, and he can't do that. Not again.
True to his word, Mikleo tried not to wake him, but he's a lighter sleeper than he used to be. He watches secretly as Mikleo changes, and he feels properly gross about that but it's… nice. It's been a long time since he's seen that slim waist, and the formal-looking clothes he put on show it off well. His shoulders have broadened a bit over the years, and he's a little bit taller. He still seems very pale though. He hasn't changed all that much. Sorey wonders if he's changed, in Mikleo's eyes.
Mikleo tosses a blanket on Sorey's head, a harmless punishment for the harmless crime of staring way too hard, and Sorey can't help but chuckle.
"Sorry."
"Mmn," Mikleo answers, pulling on a white labcoat. At least it seems like a white labcoat? It's so similar to the kinds they wear at university, in the sciences and…
"Mikleo, are you a doctor now?" Sorey sits up excitedly and Mikleo shoots him a look over his shoulder.
"Well, you'd know that if you had just--" He starts to raise his voice, but cuts himself off, and walks out of the room with a huff.
That could've gone better.
Sorey got back into his rental car and drove it out of town that day, because nobody had any materials he needed for roof repair as he remembered it. The hardware store had been turned into a general store with basic hardware products in the back. The kinds of things for day-to-day patches, but nothing more than that.
It's late when he got back, Mikleo sitting quietly in the living room. His face is red from crying again, possibly.
"Oh," He says, "I thought you left."
"My stuff's still here," Sorey offers, "I still have things I want to help you with."
Mikleo's cheeks are a little redder. "I didn't see it," He argues. "You didn't bring a lot with you, so I didn't think you'd stay long."
Sorey dares to be hopeful, that maybe this means Mikleo had only noticed because he'd really wanted him around. His own cheeks warm up with the thought and he laughs quietly. "I'll fix the roof tomorrow morning, before it's too bright out and I burn again…"
"Okay."
"So? Did you do anything exciting today, doctor Mikleo?"
Mikleo pulls a severely unhappy face, but there's some humor in it deep-down, Sorey can see it. As much as he wants to see Mikleo cheer up, he doesn't think he's imagining it.
"It's really cool, okay? So you stayed at school that long? Was it really hard?" He asks a few more questions, but they fizzle out as all joy falls from Mikleo's expression.
"Why would you bother trying to play catch-up now?" He scoffs, standing and walking through the kitchen, pouring something down the drain and then exiting through the back door. Sorey couldn't answer.
Elysia is impossible to navigate at night, so he can't be going far.
Besides… When they were younger, and Mikleo was mad, he always gave him space and waited for him to come back on his own terms. It was best not to push him.
That was the logic of thirteen years ago, though.
Thirteen years ago, after a bitter fight, Mikleo left and they each went to school and… Sorey dropped his phone in a puddle on the first day. He doesn't know if Mikleo ever tried to call him and see if he arrived safely, because he couldn't know. The real problem was, at the time, that he was too mad to care.
Thirteen years later and he knows better, that space is something he can't afford to give him right now. Even if he ends up being annoying, Mikleo's in a terrible place, probably worse off than he is about their guardian's death. It's like… Looking at Sorey causes him pain, almost.
"Wait up!" He shouts as he bursts through the door as well. Mikleo is almost out of sight already.
He doesn't say anything else, neither of them do for almost an hour. Sorey simply hugs him around his shoulders from behind, feeling him tremble and listening to pitiful little sniffles as he does his best to try to fight back his tears. He's sure Mikleo is embarrassed. Embarrassed, angry, sad, and hurt…
"I'm sorry."
"You should be," Mikleo's voice is harsh and throaty from crying. "You never came back. You never called or wrote to us. All this time." He doesn't budge in Sorey's arms, not trying to fight him off or anything. It must be because this way he doesn't have to face him.
"I thought you wanted space," Sorey says, timid.
"Liar." The accusation is sharp. Of course Mikleo can tell he's lying.
"My phone broke and I lost everyone's number--"
"Liar!" He hisses this time. It wasn't exactly a lie, but they both know he could've reached out somehow.
"Everything was happening so fast, and I was so busy, I…"
"Liar." Mikleo's anger rises, and he feels warm.
"I--" Sorey starts. He wants to drop the excuses, but just wanting to doesn't make it easy. "I've been in love with you since we were fifteen! It really hurt to be around you and want you so much, Mikleo. I got scared!" Tears form in his eyes and he blinks them away. Mikleo doesn't move.
Quietly, he says, "Liar," one more time.
"No, I'm not!" Sorey blurts out desperately. "I would watch you all the time, you're just so beautiful, and you're so smart and talented and perfect! I knew I didn't have a chance--"
"Twelve."
"Huh?"
"You've loved me since you were twelve," Mikleo informs him, and still doesn't move an inch. "You started making excuses to hold my hand. You kissed me when Gramps let you have a glass of wine with dinner one night. It was when you were twelve."
Sorey finally pulls his arms back, crossing them over his chest and feeling way too vulnerable. "Y-you knew?"
"I thought I did," Mikleo finally turns to him, but stares at the ground instead. It's dark anyway. "Then you vanish for years and change your number…"
Sorey waits, but nothing else is said for enough time that he accidentally says, "Why did you put up with all that… I was annoying, wasn't I?"
"Why didn't you figure anything out for yourself?" Mikleo still sounds a bit like he's crying, but he's doing his best and Sorey doesn't want to draw attention to it and make him feel bad. "I always thought… After school, we'd meet back here and then plan our trip together. I thought we were supposed to see the world."
Sorey clenches his jaw. He sees a blinking light and realizes Mikleo has his phone in his hand.
He hears his own voice, from years and years ago. A thoughtful young man who wanted to check in on his dearest friend. He sounds lonely; it was from his first day at school, before he'd broken his phone, and he's pretty sure he remembers having an awful string of bad luck his first week away from home. He hears his voice apologize for their fight, then say bye.
It was the last time he contacted Mikleo before Gramps died, and Mikleo, the obsessive-compulsive guy who did laundry daily, has had a phone blinking at him for over ten years with that voicemail. Sorey's eyes are overflowing by the time he chokes out another apology.
"I loved you too, you know?" Mikleo's voice is a higher pitch, too upset to keep himself together. "I thought we'd get over it and talk about all the things we studied. I thought you'd forgive me for going to a different school eventually, but you never picked up when I called after that day… You changed your number at least three times out there, because I would periodically look for you, when I missed you most. When I needed you."
Sorey doesn't say anything else until he gathers his weeping friend into his arms again. Mikleo still doesn't struggle. "Past tense…?" he dares to ask. None of this feels real.
Mikleo shakes his head, effectively rubbing his face on Sorey's shirt at this point, which would be gross if they weren't finally getting this out in the open. "I still do," he admits. Sorey hugs him even tighter.
A map was spread across their breakfast table. Marks were all over it, flights and times and dates. Mikleo had apparently planned it all years ago, but lost heart to go. Well, he seems to have found it again.
Simple breakfast, toast with homemade jam. Sorey talks with his mouth full too many times and Mikleo keeps swatting his forehead.
Before he gets ready to start on the roof, Mikleo kisses him. He's past the roof and in the clouds after that.
The one room in the house with reception is the very same that needs fixing. He pulls out his phone and beams at the screen - Mikleo properly added his number into the directory, with a cute memo and an angry face that says he better call.
Not who he needed though. He scrolls through to Rose and she groggily answers her phone.
"You get up way too damn early out there, huh? What's up, do you know when you're coming home?"
Sorey pauses, then blissfully answers, "I am home!"
"God, you're cheesy. I can't deal with that this early, I'm hanging up."
"No, wait, hang on!" He sputters, "I just-- I don't think I'll be coming back. Really. Maybe to get some of my things…"
She snorts, loudly, right into the receiver. "Good job, buddy. I can find a new roommate, it's not a big deal. Confidentially… I think I might have one already."
He congratulates her, and is privately glad he won't be playing third wheel.
"Just be sure to bring him here when you get your things. I wanna meet the jerk who's stealing my roomie."
"You got it," He says, and they share their goodbyes. He has a feeling she'll call and yell at him when she's more awake.
He then scrolls back up and selects Mikleo's number.
"What." He almost sounds annoyed.
"Just doing what I was told!" Sorey tells him gleefully. "But, hey, should I do this every day, or should I skip it if I stay by you all the time."
Mikleo is quiet when he responds. "...Just stay with me."