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A plain wall lied before his eyes and the only thing he did was stare…blankly and unmoving.
His hair was all mattered just like Ichimatsu’s; he couldn’t be bothered to brush it and he let none of his brothers brush it for him either. Bags hung from the bottom of his eyes and his skin was pale and white. He looked like a zombie but even zombies had a motive, he did not.
Ichimatsu was in the same room as Karamatsu. He usually stays with him a lot now since he didn’t had out-going activities like everyone else and enjoyed silence moments but also because he has been more concerned about Karamatsu ever since given the recent stunt he nearly pulled off.
But this was too unsettling and eerie. There was no Karamatsu showing at all, he just looks like an empty husk. Ichimatsu, with his legs up to his chest, squinted and glared at the back of Karamatsu. God, he has to do something, move, anything!
“Hey, Karamatsu…”
Not a sound ushered.
“D-do you want to do something…?”
A slight shift was spotted and word slowly slipped out of the unseen mouth.
“I want…to go outside.” It was spoken with no emotion except a small tremor.
Ichimatsu immediately winced.
“You know we can’t do that…I’m sorry.”
Yep, he wasn’t allowed outside. The only exception is when they were altogether but even then his freedom was limited. It wasn’t that they wanted to take his freedom away but…every time he has a chance to get away, he will try to kill himself. He always finds a way. So there was no choice but to keep him at home where he is more safe than out there.
His lip started to tremble and tears started to roll down his cheeks but he was smiling.
“Please…I want to go now. I’m ready to go. I don’t wanna be here anymore…Ichimatsu, please let me go.”
Ichimatsu felt his heart ache as he watched his brother crumbling up to pour his heart out.
“Karamatsu-nii san…” his voice was hoarse and dry, tears started to bundle up around his eyes too. He dragged his way to his collapsed brother, sitting down behind his back and wrapping his arms around his big brother.
“We don’t want you to die, Nii-san. I don’t want you to die! I’m so sorry for what we’ve have done and what we’re doing to you but it’s for your own good. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He cried painfully.
“I can’t stand it anymore. I’m suffering too much now. I want it all to end.”
“It will get better, I promise.
“Then let me go!”
“NO!”
A moment of no words, just sobs washed over.
“…I’m going to get Osomatsu.”
He picked himself up and plodded to the door but froze in his tracks.
“Don’t do anything stupid when I’m gone.” He glanced back slightly and expected a nod but got no reply.
He scrunched up his face; he was too reluctant to go. So he turned back and shuffled towards Karamatsu.
Then he took a deep breath and shouted.
“OSOMATSU!!” It was rare for him to shout like that but this was an urgent matter.
Osomatsu came banging up the stairs and barging in the room.
“Did something happen?” he asked worryingly and breathlessly.
Ichimatsu had once again had his arms wrapped around Karamatsu but was looking down.
“Can you talk to Karamatsu? He wants to go outside…”
“Oh.”
“and go…for good.”
“Oh.” This time, Osomatsu’s voice was lower.
He made his way to Karamatsu and sat opposite of Ichimatsu. Infront of Karamatsu.
“Hey buddy, I hear you wanna go outside?” he spoke with a soft sound, pleasing to the ear.
He nods.
“But I don’t think you’re mentally fit enough to go outside. Why don’t we do something fun inside, huh?
“I can’t…I’m sick and tired of staying here!” Karamatsu spat out, shaking.
“I know.”
“It’s not helping, Osomatsu.”
“I…know but you’re difficult to handle, Karamatsu, when you’re outside.”
“…I know.”
He shrunk down even further in his lap but Osomatsu lead him into a big, squeezing hug. Laying his head on top of his.
“Tell you what, later as a group, we can go out, have oden and walk around your favourite park. You like the sound of that?”
Not to long after he got his reply.
“…Okay.”
They stayed in the hugging position with Ichimatsu still connected. Osomatsu was smiling happily and his hot tears dripped to drench his hair.
Things will eventually get better…