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“I can’t see myself.”
Matt’s voice was quiet, soft, as if he couldn’t speak any louder. It was a whisper, and yet, the entire house seemed to fall silent in such a way that it rang out clear and solid. Cold, empty.
As if he was going into shock.
Edd and Tom both froze, Tom halfway out of the kitchen doorway and Edd sitting up on the couch. Something about Matt’s voice struck them as foreign, unrecognizable. It left them feeling cold, like the sound of a countdown on a bomb or the crack of sudden gun fire.
Unpredictable and dangerous.
“Matt-” Edd started, turning to look at Matt, posed stiffly in the hallway, facing a large mirror that showed nothing but the room around the ginger. He felt cold with dread.
Neither Edd nor Tom could see Matt’s face, just his overly tense shoulders and his limp hands at his sides. Then, they couldn’t see Matt at all.
The glass exploded apart savagely, flinging out from the cracked reflective surface like water crashing on rocks.
Tom shouted and ducked as glass shards from the hall mirror snapped in the air above him, protecting his head with his hands.
Edd let out a scream that couldn’t be heard over the shattering rings of breaking glass. Edd wasn’t able to say anything else or even move, before the entire house was alive with sharp, resounding cracks. More cracks rang through the house like thunder, echoing in different rooms, in every room.
For several year long seconds, the air was nothing but crashing and cracking and the bone chilling sound of shattering glass. The sounds pierced the air without mercy and without pause, splitting into their ears like knives.
It was so overpowering that it took several seconds for Tom and Edd to realize that the sounds stopped.
Slowly, Edd uncurled himself from the couch, ears ringing as he carefully looked up. As he glanced around he noticed that none of the lights or windows had been damaged. In fact, almost everything was in it’s place.
The only thing that was different from before was the large hall mirror; it was completely shattered, its many shards sprinkling the ground and the hall and Tom, who was still crouched in the kitchen doorway, clutching his ears. Edd gasped and even the very soft sound made his ears sting. He stood from the couch, moving shakily as he carefully rounded the couch, avoiding glass.
As he reached Tom, the brunette slowly blinked up, not moving his hands. It was obvious that he was afraid to move, just in case the movement would cause the glass glittering his body to cut him.
“What the fuck, Matt.” Tom whispered roughly, sounding pained and breathless.
Edd quickly started brushing glass from Tom’s hair and shoulders, covering his hands with his hoodie sleeves. The glass splinters stuck to the fabric and trickled like water.
“He finally noticed the mirrors.” Edd said softly. Tom frowned, carefully pulling his hands from his ears and allowing Edd to pick glass from his hair.
“Took him long enough.” Usually, this kind of phrase would be sarcastic or sharp. However, it sounded almost defeated by the way Tom muttered it. He sounded shaken. Worried.
“We’re lucky it took this long.”
They had been expecting this; ever since they found out about the changes Matt went through, they had been waiting for him to notice this one drawback to his newfound abilities. The most important drawback, they figured, considering it was Matt they were talking about. The ginger practically had an obsession with mirrors when he had been alive, and he has no less than a dozen mirrors in his room alone. So, the fact that reflective surfaces no longer saw him struck the duo with dread.
Both Tom and Edd hadn’t brought the fact up to the now vampire in question, knowing that Matt would be devastated once he found out. Both of them didn’t really know exactly how the self-obsessed man would deal with not being able to look at himself anymore, and, frankly, neither really wanted to hear him complain about it. Now, it had almost been three months since Matt had changed.
They had figured it would just be easier to tape pictures of Matt over the mirrors in his room. The hall mirror, the mirrors in their own respective rooms, and the large mirror in the bathroom were left alone. Mirrors still showed his clothes, and the pictures taped over his personal mirrors apparently had been enough to keep Matt in the dark about his invisibility. At least, until now.
Edd turned his head down the hall, looking for their missing friend. Matt was nowhere to be seen, and they couldn’t hear him talking or moving. In fact, the entire house was disturbingly quiet.
Edd swallowed, standing slowly as he strained his ears, listening for any sign of their friend. Tom seemed to share the feeling, watching Edd as he carefully started to make his way down the hall.
“He couldn’t… Did he leave?” Tom asked slowly, pushing into standing. More glass made clinks as they slipped from his back and met the mirror strewn floor. The noises sounded eerie in the too quiet house.
Edd glanced towards one of the windows near the front door, eyeing the glimmer of sunlight that peeked through the crack in the heavy curtains.
“I hope not,” Edd murmured, taking another step into the hall. Glass crunched and creaked under his soles as he glanced down the hall. He stopped in front of the now shattered hall mirror, frowning at the nearly empty frame. A few large, cracked shards were left at the corners. Matt must’ve shattered them with his hands. Edd turned back to the hall and raised his voice to a tentative shout, “Matt?”
There was no response.
Both he and Tom shared a concerned look.
“Let’s find him.” Tom ordered nervously, and Edd nodded.
They both moved into the hall, eyes scanning for any sign of their missing friend.
Tom stepped without second thought, uncaring of the shattered glass under his shoes. He was in a hurry to find Matt and figure out the damage. Edd, on the other hand, moved much slower, worried about what they would find.
The two swept the entire house, checking corners and closets. The only thing they continued to find was more broken mirrors. No sign of their friend, just the remains of his wrath. Even the mirrors in their own rooms were shattered, large shards nestled messily in their carpets like morbid confetti.
Nothing else appeared to be broken, thankfully, but they couldn’t find Matt. A bit more desperately, they re-searched the rooms, now making sure to look everywhere rather than just do a quick scan.
They left no corner unchecked, just in case Matt had transformed into his smaller form or in case he had squeezed himself under one of their beds. They knew Matt took comfort in their scents from time to time, so it wouldn’t be weird if he had burrowed into their sheets in attempts to calm himself down.
The minutes dragged as they searched, and it was looking more and more likely that Matt had found some way to escape the house despite the sunlight outside, but, finally, they found him.
Matt’s room had gotten the worst of the destruction; not only were his many mirrors shattered, almost all of his personal pictures of himself were also caught in the abuse.
Many of the frames had been clawed off the walls and littered the floor with broken glass scattering the floor in savage splinters. The ones left on the walls were crooked and shattered, weeping mirror shards onto the floor from the now broken frames. His nick-knack piles seemed to be untouched, or maybe it was just impossible to tell if they had been touched when they already had been scattered across the floor in utter disarray.
It took Edd several minutes to find him, mostly because it took that long to find the door to Matt’s closet.
“Tom,” Edd called, eyes landing on a head of the shaking ginger hair, “I found him!”
Matt was huddled into the very corner of his long closet, at the very center of a seemingly specific pile of clothes. It was odd, because the pile seemed slightly set away from the rest of the clothes in the closet, most of which looked like they had slipped off their hangers and had been forgotten. It almost seemed like a nest padded with blue, red, and green fabrics. Hoodies. Edd decided to ignore the fact that Matt seemed to be hoarding a few of their clothes, mostly because his eyes were focused solely on Matt.
He was shaking, badly. His head ducked and hidden behind his knees, his overcoat slipping off his shoulders unevenly. He didn’t even bother to look up when Edd spoke. Maybe he didn’t even hear him.
“Matt!” Tom shouted as he skidded into the room, going a bit too fast and nearly ramming into the door before he caught himself. His eyes landed on Edd, who was crouched at the open door to the closet, a large pile of clothes threatening to tumble over him. Tom paused in the doorway as he tried to catch his breath.
“He’s in the closet.”
Tom panted, frowning. “Matt has a closet?”
Edd nodded his head, not surprised that Tom forgot about it. If Edd were to be honest, he’d have to admit that he just barely remembered it when he was digging through the piles on the floor. Edd turned back to the closet and gently reached inside, going as slowly as possible so he wouldn’t startle Matt.
“Matt. Are you okay?”
Matt didn’t respond, or even flinch. It was as if he didn’t even hear Edd’s call. Growing more nervous, Edd climbed a bit deeper into the closet. Tom hesitated, looking like he wanted to drag Edd back out.
“Uh, Edd? You sure that’s safe,” Tom questioned carefully. It wasn’t that he thought Matt would hurt Edd, it was more so that he worried Matt wasn’t stable enough to control his new strength. Edd didn’t seem to care either way, or maybe he was just too concerned to remember that Matt wasn’t exactly human anymore.
“Matt. Come on, mate. At least look at me,” Edd insisted gently, hand shaking a bit as he finally got close enough to place it on Matt’s shivering shoulder. Matt didn’t look up or move, still unresponsive. Edd heard him sniff.
Edd didn’t hesitate to crawl the rest of the way into the closet, Tom taking a worried step forward.
“Edd.” Tom started, the warning in his voice clear. Edd ignored him, moving until he was directly beside Matt.
Edd lightly shook his shoulder, voice soft as he begged, “Matt, please.”
This time, Matt seemed to hear him. His head slowly raised, until his gaze met Edd’s. Edd tried not to flinch at the red tinges in Matt’s eyes, instead focusing on the wet tears that were glistening there. Matt’s face was lined with a deep sorrow that made Edd’s stomach twist. His usually well kept hair was mussed, several strains hanging into his face in such a way that Edd could only recall seeing when Matt was getting up in the morning.
“Edd,” Matt whimpered, voice breaking.
Before Edd could respond or even sigh in relief, Matt lunged forward and threw himself into Edd’s chest. Edd fell back from the force, lightly knocking his head against the closet door, but he didn’t get a chance to complain. Matt’s arms were around Edd in a second, and, Matt yanked Edd forward with unashamed desperation.
Matt curled back into his spot with Edd pulled tightly against him, his face buried in Edd’s shoulder. Edd was somewhat sprawled over him, Matt’s arms tight around Edd’s waist, his legs slipping against the many hoodies that made up Matt’s nest like spot. Edd struggled to comprehend the movement, but his surprise melted into concern when he realized Matt was already sobbing wholeheartedly into his hoodie.
Edd fought to breathe for a second, Matt’s sudden hold a bit too tight, but twice as unbreakable.
“Matt,” Edd huffed, “It’s okay- it’s okay. Calm down.”
Tom appeared at the closet door, leaning in to look into the shadowed corner with a tense frown. It was obvious that he had bolted over at Edd’s startled gasps.
“Matt, breathe! You’ll break Edd’s ribs,” Tom warned, voice by no means the coldest it could be. He actually sounded gentle.
Matt didn’t respond, and most likely couldn’t through his violent tears, but he seemed to get the message. His arms pulled back so he was no longer hugging Edd around his middle, but he still clutched at Edd’s hoodie. The action was shaky and abrupt, as if Matt would fall apart if he let go of Edd entirely. Edd could feel Matt’s nails cut into the fabric, but at least he could breathe a bit better now.
Edd moved his arms so they circled Matt’s shoulders and he pulled the much taller and stronger ginger closer to his chest, knowing that Matt needed to know that Edd was there. And, if Matt couldn’t hold him, then Edd would have to hold Matt.
Neither complained. After a long minute of Edd catching his breath, whispering comforting phrases in between his huffs, and Matt crying against his collarbone, Tom finally cleared his throat, gaining Edd’s attention.
“I’m, uh, going to clean up everything,” Tom explained, obviously uncomfortable with Matt’s vulnerable state. Edd wasn’t surprised; Tom was never very good at physical comfort. Or comfort in general. He just wasn’t a very touchy or emotional guy. Tom licked his lips slowly, as if he were trying to think of something else to say. He ended up with, “Are you guys going to be okay here?”
“We’ll be fine. Just make sure you get all the glass. And be careful.” Edd said, tone understanding.
Tom nodded, and looked like he wanted to say something else, but he eventually just nodded again and disappeared from sight. Once he was gone, Edd turned his attention back to Matt. Matt was still shaking, his sobs choked and unbridled. After several minutes of Matt crying, he managed to catch his breath.
“E. E…Edd,” Matt’s voice hitched and broke as he fought to speak.
Edd wanted to tell him to save whatever he wanted to say for later, when Matt was properly breathing, but the last thing he wanted to do was tell Matt to shut up when he sounded so upset.
“What is it, Mattie?” Edd whispered softly, lightly drawing his hands over Matt’s shaking shoulders and through his soft hair. Back and forth, Edd repeated the action, feeling Matt’s body jump with his hiccuping gasps.
“I c… could- couldn’t s-see me in the m-mirror!” Matt sobbed, voice broken.
“I know.”
“I-I’m n-never going t-to s-see myself a-again!”
“I’m sorry, Matt.”
“I-It’s not fair! I-It’s n-not fair! I-It’s not f-fair at all!”
“I know, Matt, I know.” Edd lightly brushed his lips against Matt’s hair.
“I-I w-won’t know h-how I l-l-look anymore!” Matt cried, arms closing around Edd once again, as if he couldn’t help himself. Edd winced, but Matt seemed to remember to hold back his strength a bit more this time.
“You look fine, Matt. You always do.”
Matt responded to Edd’s soft coo by dissolving into more tears. Edd huffed out a sigh, gently carding his fingers through Matt’s hair and allowing Matt to sob harshly into his chest.
Edd didn’t complain as the minutes stretched on and Matt continued to cry, occasionally calming only to mutter how it wasn’t fair and how he must be ugly now and start sobbing all over again. Each time Matt did this, Edd responded gently and continued to comfort him the best he could.
He ended up repeating lines because he honestly didn’t know what else to say, but it seemed to work well enough, though it was obvious that Matt was hoping for him to have a solution of some sorts. However, Edd had nothing more to offer him than comforting touches and gentle words and apologies that Matt accepted with more tears.
After what felt like hours, Matt finally ran out of tears.
“I’m not going to know if I-I'm pretty anymore,” Matt whimpered, his grip around Edd’s waist loosening as he slumped under his own exhaustion.
Edd sat in between Matt’s legs, allowing Matt to lean fully against him despite the fact that it would be just as easy for the tall ginger to lean on the back wall of the closet. Edd continued to rub gentle circles up and down Matt’s back, as he leaned his head against Matt’s.
“You’re always pretty.” Edd said gently, yet firmly. Matt sniffed.
Matt asked hesitantly, voice muffled and still full of tears, “R…really?”
“Yes.” Edd’s tone didn’t change and Matt peeked up from Edd’s chest.
“Even now?”
Edd obediently met his gaze and, though it took a second for his eyes to adjust enough, he scanned Matt’s features.
His eyes were a soft color, tinted red and still glassy from crying. Edd constantly brushing his hair with his fingers had managed to fix the mostly mangled strains, so the soft ginger was pushed out of his way. Features lined with tiredness, lips thin and worried into a straight line. His freckles stood out on his pale cheeks and nose like brown sugar. Edd grinned.
“You’re gorgeous.”
He sounded entirely sure, like he was stating a fact.
Matt’s eyes shot wide for a second, then his eyes were watering again. Just as Edd started to ask if what he said was wrong, Matt flashed a huge smile. He burst into cheerful laughter, closing his arms around Edd’s waist once again and squeezing carefully. His face was buried back in Edd’s chest as he hugged his friend with a gratefully.
“Aw, Edd, you sappy sweetheart! You’re gorgeous too,” Matt squealed loudly and Edd flushed, arms flying up to mess up Matt’s hair.
“You don’t have to go that far, Matt!”
Despite his words, Edd was laughing too.
Both of them were left breathless from laughing as the two fussed over each other, Edd mussing and playing with Matt’s hair as Matt nuzzled Edd’s chest and squeezed his waist.
“You guys okay?” Tom suddenly called, interrupting their moment by poking his head into the closet. Edd and Matt turned to him and flashed big, familiar grins. Edd didn’t hear it, but Matt easily picked up the sigh of relief that Tom let out.
“Much better now!” Matt announced, giving Edd one more squeeze before pulling away. Tom’s lips perked up into a slightly rare smile.
“What took you so long, Tom? You’ve been gone for hours,” Edd stated, lightly brushing Matt’s now messy hair from his face.
“I was cleaning up the glass! There was a lot, you know,” Tom reminded him, tone clipped in a way that would seem annoyed to anyone but the two in front of him. They knew him too well to be tricked by his sour tone.
Edd rolled his eyes in a way that allowed his gaze to meet Matt’s. With a casual, gentle smile, Edd gestured to the closet door with a nod of his head. Then he easily crawled from the hiding spot made of hoodies and shirts. Tom backed up a bit to allow Edd to climb from the closet. Both of them hesitated when Matt didn’t immediately follow Edd out. When they looked back, Matt was frozen on his knees, looking like he had started to leave the closet, but he seemed to freeze. The look on his face was guilty.
“I- I’m sorry about the mirrors,” Matt swallowed thickly, “I don’t know what came over me. I just couldn’t stand not-”
“Matt,” Edd interrupted, voice firm, “it’s fine. We understand.”
Matt didn’t look convinced, but neither Edd nor Tom seemed bothered or annoyed.
After a second, Matt nodded, carefully crawling the rest of the way out of the closet. Edd and Tom each held out one of their hands, and, after a second of Matt staring, he took both of them and allowed his two friends to pull him into standing.
Matt didn’t immediately let go of their hands and the look on his face screamed that he wanted a hug. Tom seemed to recognize the look and casually stepped back from him, hand slipping into his pockets and eyes rolling towards the ceiling.
At Matt’s disappointed look, Tom seemed to change the subject, “Besides, we’ve got better mirrors now, so it’s actually a good thing you broke those old ones.”
Matt and Edd both paused, confused and curious. Matt looked towards his wall that once held most of his mirrors, and was surprised to find that all of his frames were fixed. All of his photographed faces flashed him frozen smiles, not an inch of broken glass anywhere.
He moved forward without realizing it, dragging Edd along with him because he was still holding Edd’s hand. Edd didn’t protest, obviously just as interested as Matt. Tom followed a bit behind them, face indifferent as it always was.
Matt stopped at his wall, staring at all the photo frames and realized that, where his old mirrors had been hanging, there were entirely new frames. Each displaying mirrors. Matt frowned, but swallowed his growing dread, and slowly eased himself into the line of sight of the mirror. His gasp was so sharp and sudden that Edd jumped beside him.
He could see himself.
He could see himself!
Matt’s jaw was slack, his reflection showing his own surprised features right back at him. He could see his hair (a slight, yet charming mess), and his eyes (red and glassy, but wide with growing glee) and his lips and his sharp teeth that were setting into a huge smile. He could see his face. As if in disbelief, Matt brought his hands up to the mirror, touching his reflection and watching as his fingers reflected back to him.
Instantly, Matt looked in another mirror that hung on his wall, just to the right, and let out a choked noise when he saw himself in that surface too.
“Tom,” Edd breathed, speaking in awe, “where did you get these mirrors?”
Tom shrugged, a slightly smug grin pulling at his lips.
“Magic shop. They’re enchanted. ‘100% guaranteed to show any and all possible supernatural and emotional phenomena that would normally be hidden by any laws of physics, including time and space.’ I got a huge deal on them,” Tom stated proudly, pulling a compact mirror from his pocket and flicking it open with his thumb, “I made sure to replace every broken mirror with them. So Matt can go about praising himself as he always does. Also got you a pocket one because I can’t get a hand mirror until next week. Hopefully, this will tide you over, eh, Matt?”
This time, Tom was not allowed nor was he able to side step Matt when the tall vampire suddenly closed his arms around him in a tight hug.
Though Tom loudly protested, there was a slight smile in his voice as he was whirled around the room.