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October 5th, during his first year of middle school, at twelve years old, Oikawa Tooru realized his feelings for his best friend weren't so strictly platonic anymore.
It was on a cool autumn's day, where Iwaizumi and Oikawa were tossing around a volleyball, that it had hit him. Oikawa's heart would race sometimes when they were together. He used to blame it on the physical exertion of playing volleyball but it didn't take long for him notice it didn't only happen when they were playing volleyball, just when he was next to Iwaizumi. Speaking of being next to Iwaizumi it seemed like Oikawa couldn't get enough of it. He was always wanting an excuse to touch him, be it high fives, or pats on the back, or even leaning on him when they sat side by side. Oikawa did it sometimes and Iwaizumi tolerated it, but they were best friends so it wasn't weird, right? Sometimes when he would look over at Iwaizumi, Oikawa would consider him cute before he quickly pushed the idea away. Some short time after it all started happening, Oikawa came to realize that the way he felt towards Iwaizumi wasn't the same as he did towards his other friends, and he was also starting to realize it wasn't just because they were best friends.
Oikawa was no stranger to crushes, he'd had a few on random girls in his class, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was feeling towards Iwaizumi was one, too. But Iwaizumi wasn't like those girls that were merely acquaintances. He wasn't one of those people that would make an appearance in Oikawa's life and then slowly grow more distant until they vanished entirely. No, this was Iwaizumi, whom he had known for a majority of his life, and who wasn't drifting away any time soon. It was right then, in the middle of practicing with just the two of them. Right there, in Iwaizumi's yard. That the realization smacked him square in the face like a train barreling at its top speed.
It was a lot to digest. Suddenly realizing he had a crush on a guy, no less his best friend. But he would have to think about that later because he suddenly felt a harsh pressure whack into the side of his face.
"Oikawa! Quit spacing out!" A voice called out and Oikawa was snapped out of the daze of his recent epiphany.
"B-but Iwa-chan, you know how much I love space!" Oikawa joked, hoping Iwaizumi couldn't see how absolutely taken aback and flustered he was, "You didn't have throw the ball at my head, you meanie."
Iwaizumi grunted. "Well whatever, there was no better way to snap you out of it." He picked the volleyball back up and thrust it into Oikawa's hands. "Here, throw me some tosses."
"Of course Iwa-chan~"
Later that night when he was finally alone and curled up on his side in bed Oikawa allowed himself to consider his newfound crush. What was he supposed to do about this? He wondered. He couldn't just drop Iwaizumi and run away from it, that would be stupid and he cared way too much about his best friend to do that. There's no way he was going to tell Iwaizumi either. The chances of him feeling the same way were next to nonexistent and Oikawa didn't even know if their friendship would be guaranteed after something like that. What if Iwaizumi called him gross and said he never wanted to see him again? Then Iwaizumi really would be just another one of those people in the ever constant flow of acquaintances going in and out of Oikawa's life. He wouldn't let that happen. If he lost Iwaizumi he wouldn't even know what to do.
Oikawa abruptly shot up in bed and put his hands on the sides of his head in frustration. It took all his self control not to groan and tell himself out loud to get ahold of himself. There's no way Iwaizumi would be like that. He was special, Oikawa knew, but even so, he still decided it was better not to confess to him. I mean, how hard could it possibly be to get over it? It was just a dumb crush and Oikawa was confident he'd have moved on in no more than three months, as usual. He even decided to write down the date he realized it so he could go back and laugh at himself exactly three months later for being so silly. This would be easy. He could move on, with his and Iwaizumi's friendship intact.
Boy was I wrong. Oikawa thought as he stared down at that cursed piece of paper with the date "October 5th" scrawled on it and writing beside that simply said: On this day, I became an idiot.
Well now he really was an idiot because in only a bit over a year it was no longer just a simple crush. Oikawa knew he was straight-up in love with his stupid best friend, and it was driving him crazy. All he wanted was to grab Iwaizumi's face and kiss him until he couldn't breathe. He thought about it all the time. He would glanced over at the boy that he knew since they were so young, who was growing up in all the right ways with puberty already starting to hit him like a truck, Oikawa too, making him fall so much deeper. And so, Oikawa made a promise to himself. If he was still in love with Iwaizumi five years after that day he first realized it he would tell him. As much as it hurt his pride he would beg for just one kiss just so he could get some closure. With that in mind Oikawa went on with his life peacefully with a hypothetical, hopefully, kiss with Iwaizumi in the future, or better yet, a future where he gets over it before he even has to ask. Because honestly, there's no way he would still be in love with this idiot in four more years, right? No way.
Oh, yes way. Absolutely way. The day has come that Oikawa has been losing sleep over for the past few weeks since he suddenly remembered it. He's still just as enthralled with Iwaizumi as he had been the day he made that promise, if not even more. Oikawa had contemplated many times whether or not his stupid promise to himself needed to be fulfilled. It was four years ago and he made it with the heavy assumption he'd be over it by now, and yet here he is, hopelessly in love. Something inside of him actually wants to go through with it, though. He hopes getting it all out will help him move on and there was always that tiny voice of hope in the back of his mind that keeps whispering to him 'What if he likes you too?'. But the more he thinks about it the quieter it gets. Iwaizumi knows all of the worst things about Oikawa. Iwaizumi knows how terrible Oikawa's personality is, he knows what Oikawa looks like when he cries, he knows how jealous and bitter Oikawa gets over his teammates and rivals who have that coveted natural born talent he's too pathetic to have been gifted with, he knows Oikawa sometimes eats so much milk bread he makes himself sick way more often than any reasonable person should. He knows Oikawa. And Oikawa believes no one who knows him like that could ever love him.
But even so here he is, sitting next Iwaizumi on the edge of his bed feeling like his heart is about to pop out of his chest. Oikawa's a reliable guy, and if he can't keep a promise to himself who can he keep a promise to? So he has to go through with it.
Iwaizumi is flipping through the latest issue of volleyball monthly while Oikawa just fidgets quietly beside him, staring at the wall. It's not unusual for them to have lulls in their conversation and it never feels awkward but right now Oikawa wants nothing more than to throw himself off a bridge at how nervous he feels as he tries to figure out what he even wants to say.
"Oikawa, look." Iwaizumi shoves the magazine in front of him.
Oikawa looks down at it and sees there's a photo of Aoba Johsai in action and a small segment about a recent game they won. Oikawa's eyes widen briefly, he wasn't aware that they were going to be in this issue. He hums softly, "That's cool," He says without any real heart in it. He feels like if he opens his mouth anymore than he absolutely has to he'll spill his feelings everywhere before he's ready to.
Iwaizumi softly bonks Oikawa on the head with his fist, "What's with that nonchalant response?" He frowns, "Where's your normal comment about how amazing you look and that everyone who sees this is blessed to get an eyeful of you even if- 'photos don't do you justice, it's not nearly as beautiful as the real thing!'" He imitates Oikawa and Oikawa smiles softly at it.
"Sorry Iwa-chan.."
"You've been acting weird all day, what's going on?" Iwaizumi snaps the magazine shut and tosses it on the floor.
Oikawa's stomach does a nervous flip. He can't just say it's nothing now. Iwaizumi is giving him a chance to talk about it without him having to bring it up out of no where. It's now or never, he thinks. He kicks his legs back and fourth over the edge of the bed, looking down. "Something's just been on my mind for awhile, is all." He starts, voice soft, trying to keep his composure.
Iwaizumi looks over at him curiously. "And that is?" He asks.
Oikawa takes a deep breath and steels himself. He has to do this. He's been planning it, more or less, for four years now. No matter how many times he's tried to think of what exactly to say nothing has seemed right and even if he had come up with the perfect way to express himself it would all be for naught now. His mind goes blank and all he feels is the rapid beating of his heart and the nervous twists of his stomach and the temperature on his face slowly rising. All he can think about is how close he is to maybe ruining a lifetime of friendship. Why is he even doing this again?
Iwaizumi easily picks up on his nervousness and claps a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. Despite normally arguing and throwing mean words at each other, when it really comes down to it Iwaizumi and Oikawa are always there for each other when they really need it. Oikawa knows this. He shouldn't be scared of losing their friendship, but the fear of rejection is still there and very strong. "Oikawa calm down." Iwaizumi says sternly but Oikawa can hear the care in it, "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad."
Oikawa grips his shirt over his heart until his knuckles turn white and breathes deeply again. "I promised myself I'd tell you this today." Oikawa looks up from the floor. He has to look Iwaizumi in the eyes no matter how hard it is, he'd be a coward otherwise. After a brief pause he manages to get the words out. "I guess I'll just come out and say it, so.. I-I'm in love with you, Iwa-chan. I've been in love with you for five years." It's short and simple and as soon as he says it he feels the nervousness hit him twice as hard, but at the same time it's such a weight off his chest. Carrying something like that for such a long time isn't easy.
Iwaizumi's eyes widen and his mouth drops open slightly, surely this is the last thing he was expecting. "Oikawa.. Are you serious?" He asks slowly, in disbelief.
Oikawa's heart sinks as he takes Iwaizumi's words as a negative response, it's what he was expecting though. But now nothing can stop the stream of words that come pouring out since the initial barrier has been broken. "I'm sorry! I know you probably think it's really weird and gross for me to say that. I can't help it though! I've waited forever for it to go away but it never does! I can't seem to stop feeling like this." Oikawa's words come out fast and desperate, and Iwaizumi's plea for him to stop talking is drown out.
Tears well up in Oikawa's eyes as he continues. "It's so hard seeing you every day and having to force myself to keep a certain distance when sometimes all I can think about is kissing you." Oikawa knows he should shut up and he's probably only making the situation worse for him but he can't seem to stop. He wants to convince Iwaizumi, but convince him of what he doesn't even know. Perhaps his dedication.
"Oikawa-"
"Please Iwa-chan, just let me kiss you once. Maybe then I can move on, please." Iwaizumi is interrupted yet again. Oikawa leans in towards Iwaizumi but stops briefly, allowing him to pull back if he wants to, because no matter how desperate he is he won't force Iwaizumi to kiss him.
Iwaizumi lifts a hand to cover Oikawa's mouth and softly nudges him back and Oikawa's heart shatters even more. "Oikawa, please shut up for a second." Iwaizumi stares at him with soft eyes that somehow still manage to stab his heart.
Oikawa pulls back and stands up and wipes his eyes that are glistening with tears with his arm. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said all that. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out." Oikawa turns to leave before he can do anything else stupid and Iwaizumi stands up and catches him by the wrist.
Oh how cliche. Had Oikawa been in any other mood he would've made some comment about feeling like he was in a shojo manga but now he could only think of how much he wanted to be home so he could curl up in his bed and cry himself to sleep.
"God, you're such an idiot." Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa back into his arms roughly and hugs him.
Oikawa freezes up. "Wh-what..?"
"If you had let me speak for two seconds instead of being stupid and jumping to conclusions I would've told you I felt the same way, Trashykawa." Iwaizumi says, face starting to heat up at his own confession.
"That's not a very nice way to talk to someone when you're confessing to them, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa whines and nuzzles his face into Iwaizumi's shoulder.
Iwaizumi scowls and releases Oikawa from his hug to punch him in the chest, albeit softly. "That's the part you're going to pay attention to? Not the part where I said I'm in love with you too, which you were just desperate for moments ago." Iwaizumi says, but his voice holds no anger. It's surprisingly soft, but then again he no doubt is also happy that Oikawa shares his feelings.
Oikawa feels a dumb smile crawl onto his lips. "You really mean it?"
Iwaizumi nods and Oikawa's smile grows into one of the biggest, most genuine smiles Iwaizumi has seen on him in years. Iwaizumi matches his smile at the sight of it. It's a little less over the top but still a smile. "C-can I actually kiss you now?" Oikawa still sounds a little nervous but his eyes shine bright with hope.
Iwaizumi doesn't say anything, he only cups Oikawa's face in his hand and pulls him towards his own face. When their lips finally meet it's soft, and gentle, and almost shy, something Oikawa doesn't expect from Iwaizumi but to him it's absolutely perfect. Everything about this moment is perfect to them.
They pull apart after a few seconds but, of course, it isn't nearly enough for years of built up feelings. Oikawa leans back in and kisses Iwaizumi again and again, each one lingering a bit longer than the last. Iwaizumi wraps his arms around Oikawa's waist and drops down to sit on the bed, pulling Oikawa with him. Oikawa nearly collapses on top of Iwaizumi from the sudden force but manages to reposition himself to straddle Iwaizumi's lap, all while keeping their lips connected.
Iwaizumi opens his eyes slightly and furrows his brows upon noticing how much he has to tilt his head up. Not that he really minds Oikawa being taller than him, especially since it's not by that much, but in this situation it makes him feel more powerless. He slides his hand up Oikawa's back and plants it firmly on the back of his head, running his fingers through Oikawa's soft chocolate brown hair briefly before tilting Oikawa's and his own head to deepen the kiss. He parts his lips slightly and glides his tongue across Oikawa's closed mouth, earning a small sound of surprise from him, causing Iwaizumi to smirk against his lips.
Oikawa can feel Iwaizumi's smirk and hopes he won't bring up the embarrassing noise later, but right now he can't bring himself to care much as he wraps his arms around Iwaizumi's neck and pulls their bodies closer. Oikawa parts his own lips in response to Iwaizumi and allows him to slip his tongue past them and into his mouth.
Iwaizumi's inexperienced, Oikawa can tell that much, but it takes his breath away nonetheless and he has to stop another embarrassing sound that's rising up in his throat. Suddenly Oikawa is very grateful that he's sitting down, had he not been he's sure he wouldn't be able to keep standing anymore. Iwaizumi's tongue sliding against his own in his mouth is making his legs feel weak and the whole reality of the situation finally hits him: Oikawa is making out with his best friend, who he's been in love with for years, on his bed and its really hot and he's so happy and.. oh god his lungs burn. How do you breathe again?
Iwaizumi seems to be thinking the same thing because they both pull back, breathing heavily, with a thin string of saliva connecting them. Gazing into each other's eyes, faces flushed red, Oikawa breaks out into his second big smile of the day before dropping his arms to Iwaizumi's waist and tilting his head down to rest it on Iwaizumi's shoulder. Iwaizumi circles his arms around Oikawa's back and squeezes him softly.
Oikawa let's out a sigh of contentment, "That was everything I ever wanted." He says quietly, almost dreamily, like the hopelessly lovestruck teenager he is.
Iwaizumi hums softly in response, a smile resting on his features as well. Oikawa pulls his head away from Iwaizumi's shoulder, suddenly, and looks into his eyes again, this time half lidded. "Well.." He says, voice low, "Not everything~" He eyes Iwaizumi lustily.
Iwaizumi's face explodes with color and his eyes widen as his mind goes on an unasked for trip to some, rather, unsavory destinations. "I also want.." Oikawa continues before quickly jumping off of Iwaizumi and bringing his voice back up to it's normal tone, "To crush Ushiwaka-chan and Tobio-chan so bad they never want to play volleyball again!"
Iwaizumi attempts to give some kind of response but he only sputters out nothingness in embarrassment, face still just as red. Oikawa laughs. "What were you thinking I was going to say, Iwa-chan~? Honestly, so dirty. Get your mind out of the gutter, you should've seen your face!"
A pillow is promptly thrown into Oikawa's face. "You tired to make me think of that on purpose, you piece of garbage." Iwaizumi scowls.
Oikawa's laughter simply fills the air again and he shrugs, "Whatever you say, Iwa-chan."
"Get out of my house." Iwaizumi attempts to glare at him.
Oikawa frowns before walking over to plop himself back down on Iwaizumi's bed and laying down. "I'm sorry! Let me stay!" Oikawa whines and then quietly adds, "I wanna be close to you."
There's no way Iwaizumi can turn down Oikawa's cute pouty face so he collapses next to him. "Fine." He tries to sound irritated, but really, he's genuinely happy and Oikawa can tell, too, so Oikawa smiles at him lovingly as he grabs Iwaizumi's hand in between them and intertwines their fingers together.
Iwaizumi leans forward and kisses Oikawa again softly causing Oikawa's heart to flutter.
"I love you, Iwa-chan." Oikawa says, all smiles, and gives Iwaizumi's hand a light squeeze.
Iwaizumi squeezes back, flustered, and manages to get out a "..Love you too."
Soon the sunlight streaming through the blinds of Iwaizumi's window and onto the bed fades as they lay there on the verge of drifting to sleep, occasionally exchanging quiet words and gentle kisses. And Oikawa wonders if he really should've waited five years to finally get the guts to do this, but then he realizes it doesn't matter because he's here right now and he's happy. No matter how cheesy it is, it means everything to him, and Iwaizumi too.