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I’ve been sittin’ here,
Starin’ at the clock on the wall
And I’ve been layin’ here, Prayin’
Prayin’ she won’t call
It’s just another call from home,
And you’ll get it
And be gone, and I’ll be cryin’
Duo laid in bed beside his lover, curled up again his bare, strong back. The two were covered in a fine sheen of sweat that had already cooled to a sticky film. Duo nuzzled the back of Heero’s neck and placed a soft kiss at the top of his spine, taking pleasure in the soft shiver it sent through the other man’s body.
Heero turned over onto his back and slipped his arm under Duo, letting his braided lover rest his head on his shoulder while Heero stroked his hair. “Mm.. This is nice.” Duo murmured, his eyes drooping lazily. Heero grunted in agreement.
A phone on the nightstand lit up and started vibrating. Duo felt his lungs freeze and a large rock form in his throat. His cobalt eyes followed Heero's movements as he picked up the phone to answer it, his other arm still around Duo’s shoulders. “Hey.”
And I’ll be beggin’ you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I’ll be left here waitin’
My heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we’ll be here
Seems like a million years,
And I think I’m dyin’
Heero listened for a minute and grunted. “Yeah, I’ll be home in twenty. Bye.” He tapped the End Call button and heaved a sigh before slipping out of bed. Duo sat up and watched with hands clenched in the sheets as Heero pulled his black t-shirt and jeans back on.
“Heero..” Duo started hesitantly. Heero gave a grunt to let him know he’s listening. “You know, you could just stay here tonight.” He ventured, forcing the words out despite his breath being stuck in his chest. His heart broke a little more when Heero shook his head.
What do I have to do to make you see
She can’t love you like me?
“I can’t. Relena wants me to come home. She’s having some foreign minister and his wife over for brunch in the morning, or something, and Gracie has a soccer game.” He said as he sat on the side of the bed and pulled on his shoes. He leaned over and gave Duo a long kiss. “I’ll see you later.”
Why don’t you stay?
I’m down on my knees
I’m so tired of bein’ lonely
Don’t I give you what you need?
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don’t have to live this way
Baby, why don’t you stay?
Duo watched through his curtains as Heero started his bike and drove out through the gates of the apartment complex. It wasn’t until he noticed his reflection in the window that he even realized he had twin tear tracks down his face.
You keep tellin’ me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don’t think that’s the truth
And I don’t like bein’ used,
And I’m tired of waitin’
He let the curtains fall closed and walked into the living room. As he was about to fall onto the couch, he noticed a bouquet of lilies in a black and purple porcelain vase. The vase had been a gift from Heero when Duo first moved to his apartment. The other gift had been a long night of rough, hot sex. It was one of the few times in Duo's memory that Heero had been there come morning. Relena had been out of town.
It’s to much pain to bare
To love a man you have to share
Duo picked up the vase and stared at it for several long moments. He replayed the years of his life in his head. When he headed to Earth for Operation Meteor. Him shooting Heero to try to save Relena, and then the shock and confusion when she stepped between his gun and the skinny, knobby kneed teen that had just been aiming a gun at her. Heero self-destructing. Heero turning back up somehow healed. The two working on their Gundams together. Heero with his arm around Duo, smiling as they celebrated the end of the wars with their friends. The first time they had sex. Heero and Relena’s wedding. The birth of Heero and Relena’s daughter. Heero walking out of his door after every phone call from his wife.
I can’t take it any longer,
But my will is getting’ stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can’t waste another minute
After all that I’ve put in
I’ve given you my best
Why does she get the best of you?
A white-hot rage built in Duo’s chest. He started shaking. He closed his eyes tightly, trying in vain to fight the tears, to keep everything inside. But it was finally too much. It was all just too much. With a yell of pain, sorrow, and anger, he threw the vase against the wall and shattered it. He moved over to the book case where he kept a few pictures of Heero and himself and picked them up one by one, throwing and shattering them against the wall, the floor; anything and everything that made him think of Heero he destroyed.
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine
After his rage was spent, his body felt weighed down with a bone-deep weariness. He slipped to his knees on the floor in the middle of the living room and just sat there, looking around at the destruction in his apartment. It looked like there had been a struggle, and few things had left unscathed. It reflected the condition of his heart fairly accurately, Duo thought. With a deep, shuddering breath, he stood up and dragged himself to the hall closet to get the broom and dustpan.
Why don’t you stay?
I’m up off my knees
I’m so tired of bein’ lonely
You can’t give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don’t have to live this way
Duo smiled at Quatre, laughing at the story about the blonde's and Trowa’s adoptive daughter hiding in the dog kennel with their rather large Great Dane. It was the annual Preventer’s Christmas Gala, and many officers, businessmen, and politicians were in attendance. The pilots attended every year, some willingly and others reluctantly, but it was a nice atmosphere and there was free food and wine, so Duo couldn’t complain too much.
He heard the entrance door open and glanced over out of habit, having been unable to break that particular one after the war. He saw Relena walk in on the arm of her husband, her stomach rounded in pregnancy.
Duo’s heart clenched slightly at the sight of them, but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as it used to. The past two years had dulled the pain to a phantom wistful ache. He missed Heero, but more than he wanted Heero, he wanted to come first. He wanted someone who would greet him with a kiss at the end of the day when he got home, and still be beside him come morning.
He felt a gentle hand on his arm and turned back to see Quatre looking at him with concern in his eyes. Duo gave him a small smile to let him know he was okay and gave the blonde’s hand a thankful squeeze. The two continue their conversation well into the evening, joined by others sporadically throughout the night.
Baby, why don’t you stay?