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Every morning Gonta would wake up early and explore the grounds of Hope's Peak Academy to find bug before the school would come to life and make the bugs hide away. As Gonta was half way into finding bugs to add to his collection, the sun was starting to shine through the trees. The school would soon become busy, it was time to go. On his way back to the Dorms Gonta saw someone sitting on one of the benches outside the building. It was Hoshi. His head was leaning against hands.
Gonta walked over to Hoshi confused. Something was worrying Gonta but he didn't know what. As Gonta stood in front of the small boy, he put down his bug box and sat down next to Hoshi giving him space. Hoshi felt Gonta and would never admit it but was startled by someone else being up this early. “Ah Gonta good morning.” Hoshi put his hands in his laps and clasped them together “Good morning Hoshi! Hoshi can Gonta ask why you up so early?” Hoshi looked Gonta over. “I could ask you that same thing.” Gonta grabbed his bug box and should it to Hoshi. “Gonta does this every day to find bugs!” Gonta said proudly showing off his talent. Hoshi looked to the ground. “Ah well in that case I came out here to think about some stuff. I couldn't sleep anyways.” Gonta could see that the hands in Hoshis lap were shaking. they were shaking hard and Gonta knew something wasn't right. Gonta loved to help his friends. He hated to see them feeling down or not feeling confident in their talents, but for some reason Hoshi hurt him the most. Gonta didn't know why Hoshi’s pain hurt him too.
“Is Hoshi ok?” Gonta asked nervously not knowing where this was going to lead them. Hoshi stood up from the bench and started walking towards the dorms. “Im fine Gonta. You shouldn't worry about someone like me.” As he continued walking Gonta reached out for Hoshi’s hand stopping him in his tracks. “Gonta know he not smart boy but even Gotta know your not ok.” The hand was small in Gonta’s. Half the size, but it was rough with a few notable scars. “Gonta hates to see friends like this. Gonta doesn't know why but seeing Hoshi like this hurts Gonta even more.” Gonta was looking at hand grabbing Hoshi’s. Gonta didn't know what he was doing but it felt right. He wondered if he was working out Hoshi with this but a little feeling inside of him hoped he wasn't. Hoshi never turned around to look at Gonta, the hand holding made him freeze up. He knew what this was even if Gonta didn't. Flashbacks from his past ran though his mind. He can't let this happen. Not again. Gonta doesn't deserve it. Hoshi pulled his hand back and keeped walking without saying a word to Gonta.
Later on Hoshi never went to class, or breakfast or lunch. Not everyone went to dinner but this made Gonta worried. Gonta got one of the upperclassmen to sneak him out a plate of food for Hoshi. Gonta liked this upperclassmen. His hair was funny and had a bad boy attitude, which surprised Gonta because the school’s hall monitor was his boyfriend. Gonta thanked the upperclassmen and went straight for Hoshis dorm room. When he got there he knocked on the door. “Hoshi its Gonta.” He waited for a response but nothing. “Gonta didn't see hoshi in cafeteria today so Gonta brought Hoshi some food.” He heard some noise from inside the room but still no response. “Gonta is going to leave it here on floor. Gonta warped it in plastic so flies won't get on it.” Still no response. “Please Hoshi. Gonta is worried.” Gonta let out a sigh and left for his room for the night
Hoshi could here Gontas footsteps outside of his door. He tried not to make a noise but his body betrayed him at the information of food being outside his door waiting for him. This wasn't the first time Hoshi starved himself like this. He knew the fault of Gonta acting this way was his. He let someone get close and were now suffering because of him. He was punishing himself. Deep down he knew it was for something else. Something Hoshi would never admit to himself but this. This was different. Wanting to be with someone was different, but hoshi already made that mistake long ago. He wouldn't let it happen again.
The next morning Gonta woke up and went on his daily bug hunt. Walking out of his dorm he passed Hoshi’s door. Seeing the plate still by the door Gonta was more worried than yesterday. It was saturday and most of the student were going to sleep in and Gonta knew Hoshi would be one of them. He took the plate and threw it away on bis way out the dorms.
Days passed and Hoshi was getting worse by the day. Gonta couldn't take seeing Hoshi like this anymore he needed to do something. Gonta ran into Hoshi as he was opening his door. “Hoshi.” Gonta said right behind him. Hoshi turned around and Gonta’s heart sank. Hoshi didn't look good. He looks sleep deprived. More than usual. “G-Gonta! Uh I need to go.” “Hoshi needs to stop this its not ok.” Hoshi stepped inside his room and put a bag on his desk. The bag fell over and a pill bottle fell out. “Your not gonna give up huh?” Gonta shook his head in response. “Fine. Just close the door on your way in and lets get this over with.” Gont did as he was told and stood by the door.
Hoshi made his way to the bed and sat down on it legs hanging off the edge. “Why are you doing this Gonta.” Gonta was taken back by the question. “What. Gonta is doing this because Hoshi does not deserve this.” Gonta’s hand went over to his chest and said at almost a whisper. “ When Gonta sees Hoshi like this it hurts Gonta. It feels like someone is squishing Gontas heart. Gonta can’t imagine how bad Hoshi must feel.” He walked over to hoshi and sat next to him “Please Hoshi tell Gonta why you were outside so early that day.” Hoshi agreed. “I had a nightmare and couldn't sleep.” Gonta looked over at Hoshi. “does Hoshi have those a lot?” Hoshi looked over at Gonta. “Yea but there different than before. My nightmares were of my past and how it played out but now there mostly what ifs.” Hoshi looked at the bottle on his desk. “What if i let someone close and something happens to them. What if i just disappeared and left everyone alone.” Hoshi’s hands where an inch away from Gontas. “What if someone wants to be with me but i just end up being a burden to them.”
Gonta looked over at the bottle on the desk. then he remembered how he would here about people taking one to many pills to never wake up. “Hoshi stop! You can't do this!” Gonta reached out for Hoshi’s hand and grabbed it tight. Hoshi looked at him “Why not?! Everything i've ever loved in my life is gone. I should have gone with them.” Gontas heart sank more than it already was. “Stop Hoshi please! People care about you! Gonta cares about you.” Gontas eyes were watery. “Gonta doesn't want you to do this. It hurts Gonta to just think about it.” Gonta squeezes his hand and looks him in the eyes “Please Hoshi.” Hoshi squises back. “Gonta it's going to take a lot for me to be happy. I'll ha-” Gonta grabbed his other hand “Then let Gonta help! Gonta may not be very useful but let Gonta help.”
With that Hoshi gave in. He rubbed circles on Gonta’s hand with his thumb making the bigger of the two get chills on his back. The good kind. “Gonta why do you even wanna be here.” he looked up at Gonta's eyes and could see the answer in the way he was looking at him. “Gonta loves Hoshi’s smile and the way he laughs. Gonta wants to see Hoshi like that all the time.” Now Hoshi knew for sure he felt the same way. He promised Gonta he would get better. They stayed there in silence for a few minutes holding hands. They were interrupted by Gonta yawning. “You wanna take a nap gonta?” Gonta scratched the back of his neck blushing a little. “Uh yea Gonta sorry for ruining moment.” Gonta got up and headed towards the door. “Uh see ya later Gonta.” Hoshi said with a small wave of his hand.
Gonta entered his dorm and a few minutes later there was a knock on his door. He got up from his bed and opened the door to find Hoshi there. “Oh Hoshi?” Hoshi had his hat covering most of his face. “Hey Gonta. I was uh wondering if I could take a nap with you? If your fine with it that is i don't wanna make you uncomfortable.” Gonta could see that Hoshi's Cheeks were redder than usual. “Uh yea Gonta is ok with it.” Gontas face was growing hot. They Both climbed into Gontas bed and found a comfortable position where both of them could sleep.
It was around 7pm when Hoshi woke up. He felt something heavy around him. When he opened his eyes he could see that in his sleep Gonta had put one arm over his body and locked their fingers together. For the first time since the incident Hoshi felt safe. He suddenly realized that he didn't have a nightmare this time. He felt Gotta squeeze his hand and Hoshi squished back. He was ok. He was safe.