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"Yes Chris-senpai! I will meet your expectations swiftly and without fail!!!"
Chris gritted his teeth. For some reason, Sawamura's voice was even louder than usual this evening and Chris just wanted a break from the boy. "See that you do" he replied. He loosened his tie–it was uncomfortably hot in the indoor bullpen and his head was throbbing. He looked up to catch Sawamura watching him with a concerned expression.
“Umm Chris-senpai… are you feeling OK?” Sawamura asked.
“I’m fine, just a bit tired. I think I’m going to call it a night,” Chris replied as he started gathering his stuff.
On the way back to his dorm Chris decided to grab a drink. He was awfully thirsty all of a sudden.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose while waiting for the machine to dispense his selection. The headache was getting worse by the minute. Hearing footsteps behind him, Chris glanced up.
"Good evening, Chris-senpai!" Miyuki greeted. He observed Chris a moment and raised an eyebrow. "Are you feeling OK? You look a bit pale," he said, a note of concern in his usually carefree tone.
"I'm fine." Chris's tone was shorter than he intended it to be and given Miyuki's expression, he definitely picked up on it. "It's just a headache. Good night," he said walking swiftly back to his room. He could tell Miyuki had wanted to say more but thankfully he kept quiet.
When he entered his room Chris slipped his shoes off. He was grateful Kanemaru wasn't back yet and he had the place to himself. With a sigh he regarded the stack of books on his desk. Better get started, he thought as he picked up his Chemistry textbook. Unfortunately, the harder he tried to concentrate the more the formulas blurred and bled together …
*****
It was Spring, the beginning of his senior year in high school. Usually Chris would be excited this time of the year – after all, it was the start of baseball season. But this year was different. He could barely muster the enthusiasm to pull on his practice uniform. Someone else would be wearing the number that should have been his.
At their first baseball practice, Chris stood in line with the rest of the third years. The first years were nervously giving their introductions and he glanced over to where the first string team members were standing. For some reason, the cheeky second year who had taken his place wasn't among them. Chris couldn’t help the twinge of bitterness that gripped his heart. Miyuki had what should have been his and yet he dared to show so much disrespect by being late. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of Miyuki peering out from behind the corner of the equipment shed. Chris gritted his teeth. That moron.
Of course, the coach also noticed Miyuki and called him out. He made an example of the catcher – making him run for the entire practice as punishment. Kuramochi had laughed way too loudly at Miyuki's misfortune and ended up having to run as well. Chris shook his head as he watched the pair do laps around the field, bickering all the way. How on earth they could be that loud and run at the same time was beyond him.
None of this year’s freshmen recruits really stood out. A few had done well in junior high, but of course, in a competitive environment like Seido that didn't count for much. As the weeks dragged on, only one first year was added to the roster. Furuya had a lightning-speed fastball but he lacked control and stamina. Miyuki had been assigned to get the rookie into shape to help round out their pitching crew since Tanba, their ace, wasn't doing so well this season. Kawakami was working with Miyauchi to fine-tune his pitches and as a catcher, Chris didn't have a lot to do.
His hopes of making the first or even second string were diminishing by the day. Chris grew more distant and withdrawn from his teammates and the new first years were straight-up terrified of him. He was harsh and strict, and most of them just tried to stay out of his path. He could hear them whispering to each other about him every time he left practice early.
One afternoon as Chris was heading out to his rehab appointment, a first year carrying a crate of balls tripped and spilled them all over the ground in his path. He almost snapped at the kid, but the sight of the boy's pink hair gave him pause. Even as irritable as he was feeling, the thought of a run-in with Ryousuke for snapping at his little brother was something he’d rather avoid.
"I’m sorry, senpai!" the first year nervously stammered as he awkwardly gathered the wayward baseballs. Chris nodded as he stepped past the mess and continued on his way. Poor timid kid probably doesn't stand a chance here, thought Chris as he walked.
Rehab was a struggle that day. His dad was constantly on his case to leave Japan and finish high school in America, actually going so far as to pick out a few schools as possibilities. The added emotional pressure made his weights feel even heavier. He clenched his jaw and silently finished the set, all the while screaming in his head for his dad to just stop. Why couldn't he see that Chris’s dream was to play with his team and that it was impossible without a miracle?
His mood hit an all-time low as Chris headed back to the dorm. To add insult to injury, his replacement stood along the path, swinging a heavy bat. Miyuki Kazuya was the last person he wanted to see right now.
"Good evening, sir. Thanks for your hard work," Miyuki said respectfully with a slight bow.
Chris grunted in response and hoped Miyuki would take the hint and leave him alone. Evidently, luck just wasn't on his side, however, because Miyuki fell in step beside him.
"What do you think of our pitching lineup?" Miyuki asked as they walked. "Furuya is coming along but I can't seem to get him to grasp the importance of stamina and control. And I'm concerned that Tanb-"
"Miyuki." Chris interrupted, glaring at his underclassman. "I'm sure you're quite capable of dealing with the situation. You are the first string catcher, after all."
Chris knew his tone was meaner than necessary but he couldn't help himself. In the dim light he caught the hurt expression on Miyuki's face. Whatever; he’ll get over it, he thought as he headed to the dorm.
The next day, Seido had a round robin with Inashiro and Shuhoku. The team watched in horror as Tanba's jaw was cracked by a wild pitch. Miyuki looked crestfallen – with their ace injured, the team's pitching power had been cut by a third right before the summer tournament.
The team rallied around Nori and Furuya, doing their best to keep hope alive. The coach selected the final roster and gathered the team for the announcement. Tanba was still given the ace number and after the twenty members were announced, a shy boy named Watanabe was chosen as scorekeeper. Chris realized at that point that he was truly never going to be a member of this team again. The bitterness was like bile in his throat.
As the tournament played out, Chris watched from the stands. He sat in the very back row and couldn't even bring himself to cheer. Seido managed to win the first two games with Furuya and Nori but in the third game of the tournament, Seido was defeated by Akikawa's ace, You Shunshin, and his precision pitching style. The fact that they lost by a mere run made it that much more painful.
Up in the back row of the stands, Chris watched as his team was eliminated, feeling completely numb. Most of the players cried on the way back to the school. Chris felt truly bad for Tanba, who sobbed openly since he never got the chance to play in his last summer tournament.
When they got back to the dorm the coach gave a speech. He thanked everyone for their hard work and high standards and claimed the early loss was his failure. To take responsibility, he would resign as their coach as soon as a replacement could be located.
The entire team was shell shocked by that announcement. Yuuki and Jun hung their heads; they obviously felt responsible for the team’s loss as well. After the coach left the meeting room, everyone gathered together to discuss what had happened in hushed tones. Chris had no interest in talking with anyone and headed for his room to be alone.
Later, in the dorms, there was a knock on Chris's door. He answered it, surprised to see Miyuki standing there with such a downtrodden expression on his face. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles under them.
"C-Chris-senpai…" Miyuki's voice trembled as he stood with clenched fists. "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stand in for you…"
Chris was dumbfounded. He had always thought of Miyuki as being confident to the point of cocky, but hearing his voice shake as he struggled to hold back tears was unnerving. "I'm sure you did your best," he replied, unable to offer anything further to the second-year as the words stuck in his throat.
He closed the door swiftly, shutting Miyuki out, and sank down on the floor against it. Tears streamed down his cheeks and Chris made no effort to wipe them away. He had never felt like this before; he was drowning in despair and had no words to comfort anyone with, least of all himself.
That night, Chris tossed and turned. Finally, near dawn, he reached a decision and was able to fall into a restless sleep. He skipped his morning classes and that afternoon at rehab, he stood in his dad's office. "Dad we really need to talk. I want to quit baseball."
****
"Chris-senpai! Chris-senpai, wake up!" Chris awoke from his desk with a start. Kanemaru and Miyuki were standing beside him wearing matching worried expressions. "You were moaning and talking in your sleep! I think you have a fever as well!" Kanemaru said quietly.
Chris wiped sweat from his brow. His roommate was right he was burning up. “What’s Miyuki doing here?” he asked.
“I got a text from Sawamura. Apparently he’s concerned about you.” Miyuki glanced over at Kanemaru. “Let’s get you to bed so you can get some proper rest, senpai.”
Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs something nagged at the back at Chris’s mind. His eyes opened wide. “Sawamura – he’s here at Seido?”
Miyuki chuckled at that. “I should hope so, unless that moron’s managed to wander off campus somehow.”
A huge sense of relief washed over Chris. His dream had seemed so real and he shuddered to think about what could have been if Sawamura hadn’t come to Seido…
Kanemaru helped him to bed and gave him some medicine and water. Chris pulled his phone from his pocket. Seeing a message from Sawamura he smiled softly, a new feeling of gratitude for everything he and Miyuki had done for him washing over him. He sat his phone on the bedside table and resolved to show his appreciation by doing everything in his power to get them to Koshien and to redouble his efforts to be a player in college. He had suffered a setback but he was far from defeated.