Work Text:
The drawing of a pagan god along with other phrases had decorated the shutters of closed shop on the side of the road. A man with a messy brown bowl cut with undercut in both sides stops his pace in front of the drawing. He squints at the drawing, examining the doodle, he nods conformingly at the familiar vandal that now often sighted on walls of various places of the town. Yoongi lets out a breath of white into the air. It becomes cold in February, the padding that he wears is thinning from age. He does not have the money to buy a new one.
The day when he got lectured by his father, the anger in him got out and turned to a reckless courage that he needed to finally moved out of his father’s home. Yoongi is now living with scraps of money he got from selling music, trying to survive and breathing each day. While that happens on the outside, most of the time is running away from memories of fire hunting him, with alcohol and cigarettes.
A cold day when Yoongi exceptionally tried to walk on the street in daylight with thin padding because he was in desperate of cigar, grunting out of his freezing warehouse to a busy street on the way to a convenience store nearby. A familiar face walking towards him, looking down and not really paying attention to other people. A man with brown hair parted in three-quarter, plump lips and slight fat on the cheeks, he definitely grew older than thinner when they went school together -before Yoongi got expelled of course- the rest is history. Jimin was the sick transferred kid who hangs out with Hoseok another sick kid, is just strutting quickly by Yoongi without saying hello. Yoongi taps his shoulder when he passed by.
“Jimin-ssi” he called.
“yes, how can I help you?” Jimin turned his head.
“Do you not remember me?”
“I am sorry have we met before?”
“ Ha- That’s funny, did you really got your brain wiped out?” Yoongi’s upper corner mouth turned up.
“ Apparently so, my sickness cause me a concussion 3 years ago. Do I know you before?”
What a joke, Yoongi thought. He then looked at Jimin’s determined face, and more confused out of shock is the right situation he would be in now. Yoongi’s face hardened and try to gasp some words out.
“ –the heck, we used to hang out with each other, with Hoseok and the others …’Yoongi-hyung?’ does that ring a bell in your head?” raising his voice and arm only to scratch the back of his head.
Jimin’s head sort of pull back from Yoongi, brows furrowed and a bit wary looking to the side. His little hands burrowed into his coat sleeves making a fist.
“oh, well um I guess we knew each other then, I apologize” with a whine Jimin replied.
Awkward silence tensed the air around them for a minute. A breath of white escaped from Yoongi’s mouth, putting his hands to the pocket of his padding, seeking warmth. He becomes a bit tense and decide to be polite because he felt bad for the whole thing, so he asked a question.
“it’s fine. What you up to?”
“On my way to the dance studio.”
“you dance? Wouldn’t you have a condition?”
“the doctor actually said, it would be good exercise, as long as I don’t push myself to hard.” he said with an innocent smile that makes his eyes dissapear.
“well, are you in a hurry maybe I can treat you something? And catch up for old time sake”
Jimin suddenly sort of turned uncomfortable with the invitation, but he reluctantly agrees to the invitation. Now, Jimin is following slight behind Yoongi, hands in pants looking uneasy. Yoongi is regretting everything he said before, he felt even worse than the conversation they just had before, the following events seems questionable. He did not have money to treat, nor the catching up sorts of conversation. Hoping have enough change to buy two cans of coffee and some cigar. Yoongi felt like he should have not be allowed to socializing or even be close to another human.
They arrived at the convenience store, Jimin waited outside, and Yoongi just stepped inside the warm space of store. He sorts of swiftly pick some things from the beverage aisle and asked for cigars and a lighter on the cashier. Fortunately, he did have exactly enough to buy two small can of hot coffee and some cigar and a lighter. They both sat on the front stairs of the convenience store, Jimin then later moved his seat a step below of Yoongi’s feet, where Yoongi can only see his back.
“So when did the concussion happen? three years? I guess after the secret base exposed huh?”
“ uh, yea I think so, well I guess it happened when you are not around anymore.. “
“oh, so how did the others take it then?”
“ I don’t know, I moved again shortly after”
Yoongi take his lighter and cigar put between his fingers lighting it and smoke it. He looked at Jimin who has not opened the canned drink yet, he rolls the can around his palms, shifting seats and shoulder looked tense. Yoongi internally thought his catching-up game is weak, he made Jimin uncomfortable. Mentally, crossing fingers this one would do him good.
“So about dancing, who got you into that?”
“oh, Hoseok hyung asked me to dance with him in the studio, just practice with his friend from the orphanage, I’m still nowhere as good as her*.”
Yoongi took a deep inhale of his cigarette and let the smoke through his mouth.
“So, how did Hoseok reached out to you if you have a concussion and moved away after it?”
Jimin sort of flinch on the question. Stopped rolling his can of coffee and tweak the can opener and drunk the content. Burned his tongue in the process, choking at the liquid until a sound of soft wheeze, then start to fan his tongue open in the cold air while the other hand of his clenches because of the numbness.
“ Yah, stop being so stupid..” Yoongi said while rubbing circles around Jimin’s back. Yoongi felt like he needed a thumbs up for helding such smooth conversation.
“ I apologize, I'm fine now”
Jimin wiped his mouth with the back of his palm and proceed to calm down a bit. Yoongi resumes his smoking and took another inhale of the cigar and exhale the smoke into the cold air. Leaving warmth in his lungs and calmness in his chaotic brain. A thought came that Jimin was acting off , He took the previous question hardly. Yoongi sorts of felt bad with the question even though it should be a simple question to answer. He was still curious so then he asked him the same question again.
“ How did you reunite with Hoseok huh ?”
“ Saw his friend’s video online, got interested and joined, met him there” he mumbled.
“huh..right.”
There was inconsistency in Jimin’s story. Could he be lying to him now, but why would he lie. He was on doubt whether Jimin lied or not, if he did Yoongi is surprised but then again it is a human thing to do. Especially if one is not confident with the oneself, or at the state of denying their reality. He gets that he might be insecure about his illness, but that was not the point of this. He seems trying to impress someone. His cigar was burning fast and almost done, after one last inhale he threw the put in the ashtray crushing it till the remaining fire out. He then announces the time that they should part. He took Jimin’s hands for handshake. Their cold hands hold each other, failing to feel any strength put into it.
When Yoongi looks him in the eye, he confirms the guilt in Jimin’s between eyebrow.The marking wrinkle on the skin, guilt-like so deep, so subtle yet he also knew this mark. So, He did lie, with a painful smiling face. The part that he'd been so kindly feel guilty to lie to his own ex friends, kind of touches Yoongi's heart. Park Jimin lied, and he was already knee deep and swimming through his own fabricated reality. Yoongi played along, accepted his conditions, and talk no further.