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Bucky leaned on the wall opposite the Bathroom door. He sees Steve perch on the edge of the tub which is filled with water. Not to the brim, not even close. Just maybe enough halfway up his calves. A bit more than up to his ankles.
Steve stands there, Boxer and Shirt, Pants next to him on the ground. They had had breakfast just an hour ago and Bucky had gone to the gym right after. Though he had come back early, a little itch inside his gut that something was not right. He had always known when something wasn’t right with Steve, had felt his uneasiness even from miles when he was working on the docks or helping old Mr. Offenbach with the numbers of his shop. He had been an old man, Jewish like Bucky’s parents though Mr. Offenbach’s parents had come over from Germany and—Bucky mentally shook himself, his glance still on Steve.
Now was not the time for memories to resurface.
Steve still hovered next to the tub. Lifting his left leg slowly, carefully. Over the edge of the tub but stopping halfway in. He was taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, releasing the air.
Then he put down the foot in the water and hastily put the other foot next to the first. Bucky saw his friend tremble, hands clenching around nothing. Bracing himself for a blow that would never come. Even from outside the door Bucky saw him pale.
He had long learned how to make a noise when he was walking but this time, he snuck up on Steve when he entered the bathroom. Steve had his eyes closed again and Bucky could hear his harsh breath. The tremble became worse the longer Steve stayed in the barely there water. Bucky felt sick, knowing his friend feared water even as little as that.
He sure knew that Steve wasn’t the biggest fan of water, never getting close to one of Stark’s pools and trying not to fight anywhere near water. But that it was bad enough that his friend obviously couldn’t stand even that small amount of water, the amount that would never be enough for him to drown, the amount that even the Winter Soldier wouldn’t have the easiest time to drown someone in.
Slowly he wrapped his arms around Steve’s torso. Steve tensed even more, his muscles freezing like ice, becoming hard like stone. Bucky sets his right hand under Steve’s left, his fingers against the blonde’s pulse point. Resting Steve’s fingers against his steady beating pulse.
“Relax.” He murmurs, quietly like Steve had done just two nights ago when he had woken Bucky up from a nightmare, pinning him face down to the mattress. He felt a bit of the tense leave Steve’s body. “I’ve got you.”
“I’m scared, Buck.” He hears quietly, trembling. “I can’t do this.”
“You can. See. You do. You try. And I am here to hold you, ain’t I?” he feels Steve nod. Bucky, feet bare and leg in his short work out pants, carefully sets his knee on the edge of the tub. “I’m coming in. And I’m gonna show it will be alright. That I am with you every step of the way, you know that.”
Steve shakes his head.
“Don’t try to talk me out of it. I’m with you, right. Till the end of the line, remember?”
Steve’s breath hitches but again he shakes his head. “Buck…”
Bucky slides his leg into the tub, about to pull the other in as well when Steve suddenly turns around, holding onto Bucky that the older man is barely able to move.
“Stevie…” he sets his hand into the blonde hair that looks like Steve had run his hand through it for hours.
“Don’t—You can’t—If something happens to you… I can’t let you drown. Can’t let you down again.”
Bucky’s hand scratches Steve’s scalp and some of the tension disappears from Steve’s face.
“I won’t drown, Stevie. You know I can swim.” Steve averts his eyes. “Hey. Look at me.” Bucky moves Steve’s head up with the hand, still carding through the blond hair. He searches Steve’s eyes and holds his glance. Then he slowly lifts his other foot off the bathroom floor and he feels Steve shake.
“Shhhh…” he murmurs, setting his foot into the water with a barely audible sound.
“B… Buck…” tears collect in Steve’s eyes.
“Shhhh. See. Still here. Still standing.” He takes Steve’s hand, putting it under his shirt against the beating of his heart. Steve presses closer, closer that they are standing chest to chest. “Heart still beating. I’ve got you.” He murmurs when Steve lays his head down on Bucky’s shoulder, where the metal meets the flesh. But Steve doesn’t care. He never cared about the metal arm.
Wrong. He did care. He was sure the metal was too heavy on Bucky’s shoulder and had asked Tony if there was a possibility to make it lighter that it wouldn’t put more strain on Bucky’s left side than necessary.
Bucky’s hand leaves Steve’s hair, laying against the flesh of the back of Steve’s neck. The cool metal against the warm flesh, the sweat on Steve’s skin.
“It will be better, one day. It will be easier. And I will be with you every step of the way, okay?”
“Buck…” the whimper barely reaches Bucky.
“I will be with you just like you’re with me, okay. I will always be there. I love you, punk, you know that.” Steve presses his hand harder against Bucky’s chest like he hopes they could mold together, that he could hold onto Bucky’s heartbeat forever. Never letting go.
“L… love… love too.” Steve sobs, tears streaming down his face and into Bucky’s shirt, sobs wrecking Steve’s body and he clings to Bucky tighter. And yeah, maybe for a moment, it feels like they molded together, one body and one being. And maybe they always have been exactly that. One soul, divided into two bodies, destined to save each other time and time again.
Later, when Steve stopped crying, too weak, exhausted to move, the water cold around their feet, he takes Steve behind his back and his knees. He cradles him to his chest and carries him out of the tub, the bathroom and into their bedroom. Slowly undressing himself and Steve to put him into bed, cuddling their naked bodies together and wrapping the warm, thick blanket around them both like cocoon and pressed soft butterfly kisses against Steve’s cheeks, forehead, neck, hair and everywhere he can reach till the blond drifts off into sleep and the tension leaves his body, wrapped up in the heat of his lovers body, both of their hearts still beating, still beating in the same rhythm like they had done even through 70 years of torture and deep freeze.