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Jeremy woke up most days expecting to be forced into doing pushups, and pleasantly surprised when he doesn’t. It really helped him wake up on the bright side of the bed. Everytime he looked into the mirror when he stretched on a shirt (one that the SQUIP would have thought was ugly) he couldn’t help but smile at the reminder that he wasn’t a slave to a robots mental prison.
He strode on his way to school in a pleasantly good mood, even when he missed the bus and had to run to catch the bell.
Michael woke up like it was any other day. Maybe tired, maybe rested, maybe he skipped breakfast, maybe he had an apple. All his tired mind could keep up with is that he needed to get through senior year so he can finally be done. Well he’ll still have college, but he has high hopes for college! Even though it would kill him financially. He tossed his backpack into the back of his car and drove on over.
The two of them arrived at around the time. Michael used to show up to school early but once Jeremy ditched him he had gotten into the habit of showing up late so he wouldn’t have to deal with sitting alone in the hallways. Michael was searching for a parking lot in the senior parking lot when he saw Jeremy running into school. He smirked and beeped his horn, causing the kid to jump and drop his backpack.
Michael laughed, hitting the dash board ith his fist as he pulled into his parking space. He rolled down the window, watching Jeremy storm over to him.
“What the hell Michael!”
“Dude-haha- you should have seen your face! Ahh…classic”
Jeremy rolled his eyes, “Yeah yeah you got me” he smiled and gestured towards the school door with his thumb, “come on, we’re gonna be late to homeroom”
Michael got out his car, grabbing his backpack. But before he could fully doing it over his back, Jeremy placed a hand to him. Michael froze, giving Jeremy a bewildered look at the touch.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, “what?”
Michael pursed his lips, unable to deny how nice and comforting the warm touch was, “nothing.”
Jeremy brought his arm over to Michael’s shoulder and pulled him in so their sides were touching. Michael used to be so handsy….it was weird that only now he was noticing.
Just how much he missed affection.
Jeremy led him into the school, casually chatting away. Michael felt like all the air left him, like he needed this touch. He used to be the one grabbing Jeremy around the shoulder, but after the SQUIP incident he hadn’t instigated so much as a fist bump. But when Jeremy wrapped his arm around him he did suddenly sparked back the feeling and desire to constantly be cuddled and loved.
He watched Jeremy talk, the way he glowed with smile without a care in the world. It was like the SQUIP incident had never happened, but it also like nothing would ever be the same again. He felt so bittersweet. He grabbed onto Jeremy’s hand, closing his eyes to relish the feeling when Jeremy squeezed his hand back.
He felt like he could cry from joy and despair.
Jeremy gave him a small look of concern, pulling his arm away. He left Michael feeling dead and cold in the water. Jeremy raised an eyebrow, “You good dude?”
“Uh…” Michael looked down at his hand where Jeremy’s just was. He frowned, his side tingled where they were pressed together, “yeah…i just had a little too much last night”
Jeremy nodded in understanding, patting his back, “I have some monster in my backpack, but you better wake the hell up dude”
Jeremy tossed him the can, walking to his class, “see you third period Michael”
Michael couldn’t move, couldn’t breath. He just held onto the can, a hand shaped warm feeling left on his back, “yeah…ok”
And since then…Michael may have taken a bit of advantage of Jeremy. Nothing terrible! He wasn’t a bad guy. He just needed more cuddles and stuff. Hed invite Jeremy to play video games just so he’d lean against him when he got really into the battle, or he’d pretend to fall asleep on his shoulder so he could lay there with him even longer. If he got lucky Jeremy would even rub his back.
And of course Jeremy noticed. There was a span of time between the SQUIP and now when Michael hasn’t instigated any affection at all. In fact he even thought Michael despised him because of him! If was confusing, it gave him whiplash. He sighed, stirring his frozen yogurt.
“I don’t know Brooke. It’s really confusing.”
“Mmm” Brooke nodded in understanding, tossing a mango boba into her mouth and chewing on it as she thought, “he seems ok though…”
“He’s just so much clingier” Jeremy scooped up some of the yogurt, waving it around without ever actually putting it in his mouth.
“Well I know after Jason cheated on me, he came back and was all ‘Brooke baby I love you so much you’re my one and only’ and I mean hed really broken my heart! So I was crazy clingy”
“Sorry he cheated on you” he paused for a moment, then cringed, glaring at the floor, “Sorry that I cheated on you”
Brooke shook her head, placing a hand over his, “It’s ok Jeremy! You’ve apologized way too much. Seriously. Has anyone ever told you you’re an over texter? Because you’re an over texter.”
Chloe dropped down into the seat next to Brooke, placing down her fro-yo, “check out my master peice be-otch!”
Brooke laughed, clasping her hands together, “ooh it’s so cute!”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, chewing on the plastic of his spoon, “It’s ice cream, not art”
Chloe rolled her eyes, taking a photo of her strawberry froyo with toppings neatly and carefully arranged, “You wouldn’t understand. Instagram though? They understand.”
Christine sat down next to Jeremy and leaned against him, giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Jeremy smiled like a love sick puppy, his shoulders hunching up. Her fro-yo was a mess of chocolate toppings and syrups.
“What’s wrong with michael?” She said, her eyes bright and capturing Jeremy’s heart all over again.
Jeremy laughed awkwardly, “well-”
Chloe but in, “He’s being creepy clingy”
“Clingy?”
“Yeah well…” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t know. He’s just been really clingy lately I guess. I’m just worried about him.”
“Wellll….clingy how? I mean is he attached to your hip like a sleepy sloth”
Jeremy chucked, but shook his head, “more like…whenever I touch him he doesn’t want to let go.”
Christine poked at her mess of a yogurt, “You know Jeremy, you were pretty clingy when we started dating you know”
A dust of pink covered Jeremy’s face, “I-i uh- uhm- er- I know I’m so sorry….”
She laughed, a cute giggle god she was cute, “It’s ok Jeremy! It was cute! But remember what you told me when I asked you about it?”
Jeremy looked away, “that it….was because of the squip?”
Brooke was staring at the two of them, eyes flickering to whoever was talking. Christine saw her confusion and explained, “the SQUIP was really mean to jer-bear so whenever he tried to show affection aside from the weird sexual things he did he told him it was too 'girly’, plus Jeremy didn’t even really have friends either.”
Not knowing what else to do, Jeremy laughed awkwardly.
Chloe didn’t look up from her phone where she was texting. Her back was against the booth wall and her feet up in Brooke’s lap, “Rich was like that too. With Jake. What was it Jake said, something like uh..oh yeah, starving?”
Brooke gasped, “touch starved!”
Jeremy gave her a confused look. But Christine gave three fast understanding nods, “yes!! That’s it!! Jere he’s gone so long without being shown affection that he’s literally starving for it”
Jeremy immedietly got a guilty look, “oh man…”
Christine patted his back, then held his hand, “It’s ok. Just give him tons of hugs and love! I’ll do it too! I love group cuddles!”
Brooke nodded, “but most importantly…”
Talk to him.
Jeremy breathed in through his nose, pressing send on his phone. He sent Michael a text asking to hang out at his house. Michael answered in about a minute, and Jeremy didn’t hesitate to leave his house.
He stumbled into Michael’s basement, Michael looked up from his lounge chair and smiled with a wave. “Yo!”
But he lost that smile when he saw Jeremy’s serious yet nervous posture. “Something wrong?”
“Can we talk?”
Michael nodded, pushing to leave room, “of course man. SQUIP bothering you?”
Jeremy shook his head and sat next to Michael. He looked him in the eye when Michael moved so that their knees were touching.
“When….when I first lost the squip it had been a while since I had any genuine affection with anyone…i was really clingy with Christine for a while. And-” Jeremy’s words were speeding up, his hands sweating with his shaking nerves, “and I uh, I was just reallt desperate for touch you know? So” he grabbed Michael’s hand, ignoring the star struck expression in his eyes, “have you heard of touch starved Michael?”
Michael took a deep breath and gulped down, “yeah”
“Is that how you feel?”
A pause, Michael watched his hand in Jeremy’s and realized that yeah, he couldn’t deny it.
“Yeah”
“How can I help? I’ll do anything for you man”
“Can we just…” Michael’s voice sounded dry, like he was suddenly emotionally drained and needed a recharge, “Can we just like. Take a nap together? No homo of course I know you have a girlfriend”
“Yeah man, I’m tired.”
The two of them laid together, Michael being held in Jeremy’s arms as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of the basement. Michael tossed up a large grey blanket over them, taking a deep breath of everything Jeremy. He loved the simple feeling of weight on his leg and side. It was all he needed. He closed his eyes, it wouldn’t fix everything, but damn it would be a start.
The two of them fell asleep, arms tangled up and mouths wide open.