Chapter Text
Robbie just wanted to take a nap, is that so much to ask? He’s had insomnia for as long as he could remember, meaning he rarely slept at night. In fact, he rarely slept ever. He mostly pushed blame onto the children, but it’s not really their fault. The slightest of noises keeps him awake, and, despite being so far underground, the noise blockage in his lair was horrendous.
At this time, Robbie is attempting to nap on a bench outside while the kids are in school. It’s quite nice, despite it being sweltering outside. He’s adorned in a tank top and shorts, due to the weather. Usually, noise would keep Robbie awake (to his frustration) but today the singing of the birds, and the slight rustling of the leaves in the breeze, is rocking him to sleep.
That is, until he hears feet hit the ground, which jolts him awake.
“Hi Robbie!”
Robbie simply responds by groaning and rubbing his face.
“What is the matter?”
“I was almost asleep for the first time in three days, until you showed up. That’s the matter Sportastupid.” Robbie responded. He isn’t usually so forward, but he’s very tired, and doesn’t really care very much at this point.
“Robbie, you haven’t slept in that long?! I’m very sorry, I’ll try to be silent. Try to get some sleep. Do you need a pillow? Are you comfortable? Do you need--”
“What I need is silence.” Robbie responds, voice dripping with venom.
“Sorry, sorry. I’ll just be...over...there.” he says, probably pointing somewhere. Robbie has yet to open his eyes at this point.
He begins to nod off once more, until he hears a grunt, and then another. Soon enough there’s a cacophony of shoes hitting the ground, grunts, and an orgy of other evidence that Sportafuck is working out. Robbie tries to ignore it at first, attempting to nap once more. He’s almost fallen under, until he hears a noise so loud, that it might as well be a scream. After the noise, he hears a swish, and feet slamming back into the ground. No doubt Sportaheimsk did some marvelous feat of acrobatics.
That’s it, that’s the last straw, Robbie decides.
“Would you--” Robbie begins, but stops in his tracks once he opens his eyes.
He’s not wearing a shirt.
Now, Robbie can’t say he’s never thought of what Sportacus’ chest looks like, but damn him if actually seeing him shirtless in person didn’t blow his mind like he wanted Sportacus to blow him. That thought did not help his current situation. He was more than just muscular, he was ripped.
“Robbie? What’s the matter?” He said, out of breath.
“Nothing! Continue!” Robbie says, laying on his side, and closing his eyes. Once he hears the work-out noises begin, he peeks. Sportaheitt is doing push-ups. He watches in awe as his arm muscles flex with every push. His butt is also clenched, which is way hotter than it logically should be.
Suddenly, he stands up, and walks over to a nearby tree and picks up some large weights, which had been set against it. He faces to Robbie’s right side, and does bicep curls. As he’s bringing his arms up and down, a single bead of sweat makes its way down his cheek. It surpasses his jaw, and follows the artery in his neck. Robbie has the sudden urge to get up, and lap up the salty bit of fluid. Instead he just watched, as it travels along his collarbone. Robbie gulps. His already flushed face, gets even warmer.
He flicks his gaze back up to Sportacus’ eyes, and, to his horror, they lock eyes.
“Robbie. You’ve been staring at me.”
“H-have I? I didn’t notice.” Robbie stutters, tugging at his loose tank top collar as he sits up. Sportacus begins to walk towards him, and he does his best to look away from his bare upper half. This is very difficult once Sportacus is directly in front of him. They’re so close to touching, that Robbie is as red as the bottom half of the polish flag.
“Robbie, are you okay? You’re very red? Perhaps you have a fever.”
“I-I-I n-no!” Robbie sputters, pushing Sportacus away and standing up. His hands are damp with the sweat from Sportacus’ chest, and that’s when it hits Robbie that he actually touched Sportacus’ chest. He stares at his hands.
“Robbie?” the elf asks, very confused. This snaps Robbie out of it, causing him to look up at Sportacus, shocked and horrified.
“S-s-sorry.”
“For what?”
“I-I touched you.” Robbie says looking away with embarrassment. To his surprise, Sportacus lets out a hefty laugh.
“Robbie, it’s okay. Perhaps I was a bit too close.” Sport replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck in a very attractive manner.
“I-I-I-I-I ughhhh” Robbie suddenly kneels down, and covers his face with his hands.
“Robbie, I am very worried about how strange you are acting today.”
“S’your fault you dumb elf.” Robbie says into his hands.
“What did I do to you?”
Robbie let’s off a very long, aggravated groan, stands up, smushes Sportacus’ face in his hands, and plants a big, wet kiss on his lips. He then nods, turns around, and walks away, leaving a shocked Sportacus standing in confusion, trying to figure out what just happened.