Chapter Text
In a town where high school students are ranked as to whenever they have a talent and are the greatest at that given talent, a lonely, stressed out boy walks to his normal, not special high school. As he does, the kids with talents who are going to the high-classed, special high school known as Hope’s Peak Academy pass him by.
“Hey, look! It’s Hajime, the hopeless untalented loser!” one of the kids mocked at him to his classmates.
“Come on, Nagito! That was uncalled for!” the average boy shouted back in response.
This talentless boy is named Hajime Hinata, and he’s not special enough to be the main character, so this whole introduction was completely unnecessary. Let's ditch him and narrate about our real main characters.
In the school of Hope’s Peak Academy, a girl’s voice rang to all those who attended the school, “Faster! Harder! Fuck-!”
If one was to go past the dorms of the sixty-ninth class, they were to hear the voice of a boy spewing out vulgar insults through pants, “You’d like that, wouldn't you? You’re probably hoping for me to spill it all inside you, aren’t you, slut?”
Outside the room of the leader’s stood a robot who felt a bit timid to interrupt them during their session. Hesitantly, he knocked on the room door and all sounds inside the dorm went quiet. After a moment of complete silence, the robot decided to speak, “Miu? Kokichi…?”
He heard an irritated sigh from the boy, “What do you want, Kii-boy?”
“Ooo, Kiibo? Are you here to join us for a threesome!?” an excited squeal was heard from the girl.
Kiibo was about to reject her assumption when he heard them muttering to one another. “He won’t be fun to play with, Miu! He’s a robot, he doesn’t even have a dick!”
“Well, I could always just create him one.”
“Yeah? And what would he be leaking out? Oil?”
Kiibo had his robotic ears pressed up against the door and was right about ready to burst the door open and smack Kokichi for his robophobia comments, but he didn’t, for he was a peaceful robot. Instead, he cleared his throat loud enough to grab both of their attention and said what he had been meaning to say from the beginning, “No, actually. I’m here to let you two hear the voice recordings I’ve obtained from multiple students and their complaints.”
Kiibo rotated his right ear clockwise and the voice of multiple students began to come out of him.
“They’re so loud!
“Aren’t the dorms supposed to be soundproof? What the heck!?”
“Can they not touch each other for just one day?”
The next complaint stood out to Kokichi, for it was a familiar feminine sounding voice, one that sort of resemble Minnie Mouse. “Honestly, they’re not even doing it right. They’re supposed to be flawed with two different sins. One lust, and one glutton. I should’ve been playing the part of the protag! I have actual stockings for me to transform into weapons and sweets are always plain great to me!”
“Well, if it makes Tsumugi feel better, tell her that I am pretty gluttony; I’m glutton for some milk, which Miu just happens to store,” Kokichi stated matter-of-factly.
Kiibo rolled his eyes; they were clearly missing the point. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by what sounded like a moan from Miu.
“Miu, did you seriously just moan even with my dick not being inside of you?” Kokichi questioned with disgust.
“What!? No way, dip-shit! Do you seriously believe that I’m that easy to please!?” Miu snapped at him, feeling offended.
Another moan rang into all three of the ultimates ears, this time being an unfamiliar one. What followed was multiple anonymous voices of people howling and sweet talking seductively. After hearing them for a while, Kiibo noticed how the voices sounded like they were coming from outside. Taking a look out the window, he witnessed a large piano playing its keys and letting out a sound that wasn’t music, but one that could only be described as exposing people's sex lives.
Jumping back in shock, Kiibo rushed back to the brat’s dorm door to alert the two. “Miu! Kokichi! A ghost is in town and it’s violating people’s privacy by playing all that goes on during their… love sessions!”
“And I care, why?” the inventor asked.
“Because your moans are being exposed to the whole town?”
“Hmm… I wonder how many guys will come to see me after hearing that…?”
“...Because if you get rid of the ghost, then you’ll be rewarded with some monocoins?”
“Aw shit, monocoins! Teruteru has his own special ingredients that he only exchanges for some monocoins!”
Kiibo heard some stumbling and complaints from Kokichi before Miu jumped out of the room, easily dragging Kokichi out with her (fully dressed, thankfully). Ignoring Kokichi’s whines about how he doesn’t want to fight a stupid ghost and he could care less if people’s sex lives are getting exposed to the public, Miu threw him into her hot pink, stylish designer car and hopped on to the driver’s seat.
Pounding hard on the pedal, she zoomed her way over to the piano beast, completely breaking the speed limits.
Getting out of her car once she arrived at her destination, the blonde brought down her panty and transformed it into two blue guns. “Alright, you little shit! It looks like what you need is a little climax by the beautiful Miu Iruma!” she trashed talked the beast. “Are you ready, Kokichi?”
She looked to the back of her to find that Kokichi was sulking down on his car seat, one of his arms resting around the driver’s seat and his legs resting on top of the front window rim as he chugged down on a bottle of Panta.
“What the fuck are you doing!? You’re seriously deciding to be properly glutton now!?” she scowled.
“Hey, I told you that I didn’t want to fight the ghost, didn’t I? Good luck defeating it.”
Miu couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Other than sex, Kokichi Oma was the worst partner ever. “Fine then, I’ll take this ghost down myself,” she scoffed.
She shifted on all sides of the piano and repeatedly shot at it from multiple spots until she got a large piano key missile right at her, whacking her forehead.
“Ow! Goddammit, why couldn’t we fight something soft like shit!?” she cursed in frustration.
“That’s really gross, Miu,” Kokichi spoke out from the car as he chugged down on his third bottle of Panta, "hey, you know what I just realised? Panta is just one word changed from being panty."
“Shut up and get that fat ass of yours up here so you could help me!” Miu demanded.
“Fine…” Kokichi groaned as he finally stepped out of the car, “I was getting bored, anyway.”
Unbuttoning the two straps that hung around his pants, he pulled them out and transformed them into long blue swords. He repeatedly began to slice up the ghost when he noticed that Miu has been standing in the same place, pressing her legs together. He doesn’t have to be the genius that he is to know that she was getting turned on by the sexual sounds that the piano was playing. He facepalmed at how easily she got aroused. How dare she make him fight a ghost that he doesn’t even want to fight as she pleasures herself? That bitch.
For the purple headed boy, he really didn’t see any reason to waste his time and energy defeating this ghost. People who are very vocal in bed annoy those around them, so they’re just getting what they deserve by having their moans be played out for the whole town to hear. Nope, he wasn’t going to fight anymore, he was just going to relax with a bottle of Panta and-
A moan played in his ears, a familiar moan... too familiar. One that sounded like it was trying to be held back by pants. And then… “Damn, Miu.”
During the time, his moan was so quiet that not even Miu had heard him, and it was restrained, as well, but this stupid piano is able to play it out loud and clear for the whole town to hear. He’s fine with the students who attended Hope’s Peak Academy to know that he screws that whore, but now the whole town knows, and they’re able to hear just how much pleasure he was feeling too. If he wasn’t so good at hiding his emotions then his face would've been completely red from embarrassment.
He heard Miu’s obnoxious laughter coming from the side of him and he began to wonder if she forgot the position that she was in right now. Whatever, that didn’t matter, the only thing that did matter was destroying the ghost.
Kokichi leapt into the air and began to repeatedly slice the piano, letting out all of his rage. As he was doing so, Miu received a phone call from Kiibo. She picked it up and was able to muster a “Hello?” through her heavy pants.
“Miu, that ghost that you’re fighting is possessing Kaede’s piano and she’s worried that you guys will completely ruin it, can you assure her that nothing-”
Kiibo’s voice was cut off by the huge explosion sound that ensued after Kokichi demolished the ghost. “I’m sorry Kiibo, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the explosion of the piano,” Miu explained. She thought that she heard the cries of Kaede, but she wasn’t all too sure, for there was a beeping sound that rang in her ears by the aftermath of the explosion.
A few minutes later, the town was cheering for the two heroes and Kaede was on the floor, trying to pile up the specs that were left of her piano. Miu was irritated by the fact that she only received ten monocoins, and made sure that everyone knew how displeased she was.
“That piano was possessed because no one was able to hear the true art of music since everyone’s ears were being occupied with lewd sounds,” Kiibo explained to Kokichi and Miu, “I hope that you both learnt your lesson of being too vocal.”
“I learnt that Kokichi, unlike popular beliefs, actually is vocal; and it’s pretty hot, too. I have to get him to moan like that once we’re in bed,” Miu shared her newly learned lesson. “I’ll invent something that’ll increase his voice ten times!”
“You do that and I’m never coming to bed with you ever again,” Kokichi threatened.
“I feel as if you two have become worse than before…” Kiibo sighed.
[Alternate Scene]
“Shut up and get that fat ass of yours up here so you could help me!” Miu demanded.
“Fine…” Kokichi groaned as he finally stepped out of the car, “I was getting bored, anyway.”
The small boy took off his checkered scarf and transformed it into two blue swords. "Wait, isn't your collarbone your weak spot?" Miu asked as she began to lightly caress Kokichi's collarbone out of curiosity. Exactly when she did, Kokichi spilled out an uncontainable moan and pushed her away.