Chapter Text
Tony sighed heavily wiping oil from his brow. He feels his stomach growl and winces “Jarvis, turn the music off.” and immediately the loud rock music that had previously been blasting out of the speakers Tony installed. “How long have I been down here?” he questioned, not looking away from his current project.
“Approximately 38 hours and 26 minutes sir. Might I suggest-” “No you might not suggest JARVIS. I’ll go grab some food in a minute alright.” Tony rolls his eyes.
“As you wish sir.” Jarvis all but grumbles. Tony sighs again. He supposes he should go get some food. He is rather hungry.
“Actually, JARVIS I am gonna go grab some food now,” he admits with a shrug.
JARVIS says nothing, but he can feel how smug the ai is and curses himself for making him such an asshole.
Tony makes his way to the elevator humming lightly and hesitates slightly.
The other Avengers just moved in two weeks ago and… well, honestly it’s not going as well as Tony had hoped. He had assumed that despite everyone having been given a floor they would hang out or do team bonding.
There hadn’t been any of that yet, or any of it that Tony had been invited to at least. He had been going to grab some lunch from the communal kitchen and overheard Barton and Rogers discussing movie night.
He doesn’t mind though. The rest of his team doesn’t care for him much, and that’s alright.
Stark men are made of iron after all.
So Tony rolls his shoulders back, shakes his head a bit as if to clear his nerves, and walks into the elevator “JARVIS, take me to the kitchen.”
“Of course sir.”
“Umm JARVIS?” Tony rolls his tongue across his teeth, a nervous habit he picked up as a child. “Yes?” the ai asks, a bit of concern somehow making its way into its voice.
“Who else is in the kitchen at this moment?”
“No one now, but Captain Rogers appears to be heading that way to get a snack.”
Tony sucks in a breath “Cool, haven’t seen Capsicle in a while.”
JARVIS makes a sound of distaste, “You haven’t seen anyone in a while, seeing as you’ve been locked in your lab for a good 38 hours now.” to which Tony rolls his eyes.
“I could donate you JARVIS.” he threatens with a playful smirk as the elevator doors slide open.
He walks towards the kitchen and starts making a grilled cheese immediately upon entering, tapping his feet as he worked.
Maybe if he offers Steve one he’ll- no stop that. He had promised himself during their first meeting to not care what the ‘Captain’ thinks of him.
Captain America may be a super-soldier, but Steve Rogers is just a man and Tony can’t care what he thinks of him.
It’s hard though, to accept that the only thing you had to cling to as a child hates you just as much as everyone else.
To know that your such a disappointment that not even Captain America can stand you… to know that Howard was right.
He doesn’t care though.
Stark men are made of iron.
Steve walks in and notices Tony. “Oh, your here.”
Tony shifts slightly at the harsh tone “Yeah, sup Capsicle?”
Steve shrugs “Just getting food.” it’s bitten out, clearly painful for the Captain to have to be so polite to Tony.
“Same here. Want one?” Tony asks, gesturing to the grilled cheese.
Steve shakes his hand “No thank you. We have some leftover pizza I was going to heat up.
Tony swallows “Yeah okay.”
Silence settles over the kitchen.
Tony goes to tap his fingers but instead bites lightly on his tongue.
He hates silence.
It reminds him of… everything. Lonely nights nursing wounds as a child, Afghanistan, the wormhole…
Silence makes him uncomfortable.
“So, Captain!” he exclaims suddenly without truly meaning to.
“Hmm?” the man in question blinked, pausing in his task of choosing which pizza slices to heat up.
“I was thinking that tonight we could all have a movie night. I’m sure there’s still a lot of catching up you need to do.”
Steve shrugs “We actually already had one planned.”
Tony sags slightly, right… he had known that if he’s being honest. He was just hoping that maybe Steve would say yes anyway, and then Tony could come.
“You can come I guess.” the blonde shrugs.
Tony blinks and almost sputters out a nervous really before hardening himself again “What time Captain Spangles?”
Steve blinks “Oh I didn’t figure you’d be interested, we usually have dinner around 7 first I suppose.”
Tony grins despite himself.
Yes!
He can finally prove that he’s not a complete asshole.
‘But aren’t you?’ he reminds himself.
“Cool. I’ll see you there Rogers.”
Tony scoops his grilled cheese off the grill and plops it onto his paper plate with a smile.
Steve puts his pizza into the microwave with a sigh.
Tony knows that the Captain doesn’t want him to come but fuck that. He’s going.
………………………………….
“I can’t go! Why did I say I would go?” Tony whines to JARVIS.
“Why wouldn’t you go?” the ai asks Tony, despite knowing why.
“They hate me!” the genius exclaims.
JARVIS opens the elevator door despite Tony not having asked “All the more reason for you to go. They need to get to know you outside of battle sir, and as long as you do not behave… as you tend to when you get nervous, I have no doubt they will like you.”
Tony takes a deep breathe “Yeah, you’re right JARVIS” he admits, stepping into the elevator.
“Just be yourself sir.” the ai reminds, as he takes Tony up to the communal floor.
Tony rolls his tongue on his teeth again, biting down lightly on it as the door open.
He steps out and notices Barton sitting on the couch first thing “Hey guys, the party has arrived.” he jokes.
“I think I’ve had plenty of your parties.” Natasha calls from the other room and maybe had her voice been slightly less cold he would have assumed it was light banter.
It wasn’t.
He feels his smile become a bit tighter.
“You say that now, but when you get invited to the party in my bed I think you’ll find your opinion swayed.” he pops his head into the kitchen where Natasha is watching Steve cooks and winks.
“Stark, I swear to god I am debating the method I would use to kill you for saying that if it weren’t frowned upon in all 50 states.”
Tony smirks and he can hear practically hear JARVIS screaming at him to be himself in his mind.
He’s not really sure how to be himself.
He’s not even sure which him he is anymore.
Is it this him, with inappropriate jokes, and no care for anyone else, this him who comes out when he’s nervous or talking to the press.
Is it the him who gives Pepper and Rhodey small smiles and would give his life for them without hesitation if it ever came to that.
Is it the him who works nonstop to avoid his own thoughts.
Is it the him who died as a child? The him that was scared and hurt too young to ever grow into the man he should have been.
Are they all him?
He doesn’t know.
He’s a socially awkward mess that’s had 4 real people that have actually cared about him. Jarvis, Yinsen, Rhodey, and Pepper.
‘I need to pay for Jarvis to come visit soon’ he reminds himself mentally.
“Stark? You there?” he hears Steve’s voice and snaps back to attention.
Oh whoops.
“You zoned out there dude,” Clint calls from the living room, peering into the kitchen.
“Ah, whoops. I get distracted easily”
Steve says nothing in response and goes back to cooking.
Tony sucks in a breath nervously. Alrighty then.
He heads into the living room where Clint is sitting,
“So Stark.” Clint looks right at him as Tony sits down.
“Why are you just now joining us.”
Tony blinks, his brows furrowed in confusion.
“Well, I m-mean,” he stutters and then winces mentally. Jesus he thought he had that under control. “I mean,” he corrects “you guys haven’t invited me until now. I didn’t even know you were having these.”
‘Liar’ he hisses at himself.
Barton glares “Oh my god, don’t play the victim card here. You totally knew about these things. You could’ve shown up anytime. You’ve made no effort to talk to any of us until now. So why are you here?”
Tony shifts “I dunno, god what the hell man. If you want me to leave you to your shitty team bonding then I’ll go!” he exclaims heatedly.
Clint snorts “Be my guest.”
Tony looks over towards Steve and Natasha for help, and finds Steve shrugging “Should I make you a plate?” is all the blonde asks and Tony tenses angrily.
Anger is all he feels. He isn’t disappointed, or upset, or anything like that.
“I’m good. Keep your fucking 1940s homestyle cooking bullshit to yourself.” Tony spins around, sparing one last glance over at Natasha who doesn’t even look up from the computer that she pulled out after he left the kitchen.
He storms into the elevator and feels something wet in his eyes “JARVIS, restock my allergy pills.”
“...Sir, you show no signs of an allergic reaction.”
Tony’s face scrunches up “My eyes are watering.”
“My readings indicate that this is a reaction to extreme emotional distress.”
Tony wipes at his face, running his fingers through his hair.
“It’s not extreme JARVIS. It’s not even a big deal! There’s no reason that I should be… that I should… care this much. This is just fucking dumb. I didn’t even expect it to go differently.”
He knows they hate him.
He doesn’t care.
Stark men are made of iron after all.
He feels a few tears leak out of his eyes and onto his cheeks and quickly scrub them away.
Stark men are made of iron.
But iron rusts.