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The butterflies in my stomach have died.
Lance messed up. He knew this. He had pushed away the only man who ever made him feel like something.
Now there’s lowly caterpillars that are waiting for the night to strike.
He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the brown locks, trying so desperately to quell the anxious, frustrating feeling in his body.
And they’ve been dying to escape. He balls up his fists and begs the room to stop spinning around him. His teeth are chattering with the feeling of angry hopelessness. He closes his eyes, hot tears continuing to stream down his puffy cheeks.
The pit of my stomach’s a real dark fuckin’ place.
Pidge and Hunk tried to steer him on the right path. They told him to talk about his feelings, to tell them what was going on.
My new friends are starting to know
But all he did was turn his back to them, refusing to accept their help.
Hunk knows why my last one’s my last one.
He let his stubbornness get the better of him.
Hey guess why- it’s cus’ my fuckin’ actions.
He paces his room, his heart bounding out of his chest as he thinks of his boyfriend- Well, now ex-boyfriend. All Keith wanted to know was what was causing Lance to be so upset all the time.
I’m gonna be alone forever
How does he tell Keith that he’s only upset at himself? For not living up to the expectations put upon him. He will never match up to Keith. He will never be enough. All he'll do is disappoint him, and everyone else while he is at it.
I’m gonna be alone forever
The panic in his body is rising at a rapid rate, he doesn’t know what to do anymore.
But I’m getting used to the thought
He had a handle on it until he tried to go to sleep. When he looks at his bed, he sees his Keith laying there motioning for him to come back.
Except late at night- so maybe I’m not.
Lance lets out a scream into his hand, his body shaking with sobs
I’m gonna be alone forever.
How could he have let him go?
I’m gonna be alone forever.
How could he have let his own self-preservation push away his friends?
But I’m getting used to the thought
This isn’t the first time he’s done this, but why does it hurt so much worse?
Except-
He knew it was a lost cause, trying to fix what he had broken. The realization causing his breath to falter.
He went to the Blade and I went with Voltron
I just wanted to see the galaxy when he wanted to find his self
And that is the problem where all of this lies
In emotionally unstable- crazy fuckin’ guy!
He kicks the object nearest to him in rage, the chair taking the onslaught to fall over.
Who’s gonna be alone forever!
He slams his fist into the nearest wall, his frenzied eyes only seeing red.
I’m gonna be alone forever!
Lance tears apart the pictures of him and Keith off the wall.
But I’m getting used to the thought.
His sobs are unmuffled, filling the room with his agony and loss of his love.
And in a couple years I really hope that this stops.
His body falls into a heap on the ground.
I’m gonna be alone forever.
Lance curls into himself as his sobs turn into wails. Like a desperate cry for help. From himself. From this life without his Keith.
I’m gonna be alone forever.
His body begins to numb from exhaustion as he loses his grip to reality.
But I’m getting used to the thought.
He glances up to see the final picture of Keith on his desk, smiling at him from his place in the frame. He needs him. He needs him so bad. The moment he accepts he needs help, all his friends were too far away for him to try to reach.
And in a couple years I fuckin’ hope that this stops.
He had gotten what he wished for. He was alone. And would forever stay that way.