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Stanford sighed. Although this is a rather usual thing for him to do, there are so many different layers and messages that can be conveyed through a sigh depending on the circumstance as well as one's emotional state of mind that it is difficult to pin down exactly what it means, as it can mean so many things.
He had sighed on multiple occasions, sometimes dryly and filled with malice, others out of relief of surviving some multidimensional horrendous beast. He’s even signed out of gratefulness as well as a multitude of other emotions. However, out of all of these times when sighing seemed like the most appropriate response, he had never sighed because he was happy. For once in his life, he felt content, and it was quite interesting to sigh out of feeling complete, compared to how he usually is felt when using the notion. Starting to ponder on where this sudden and almost completely neglected feeling was coming from, he finally came to a conclusion. Despite all those years he had spent in a constant need of stimulation in order to distract himself just long enough to not break down, nothing had ever even bagan to fill the void that was his heart.
His mind was weary from understanding and having enough logic to reason that what had made his heart an empty basin of emotion could be the very thing to make it whole again.
It was family. It had always been family. And this type of family could stray from the strictly biological, in fact, it usually did. He was now smart enough to realize that friends and family aren't just people you use or only keep in your company because they benefit you.
When Stanley got kicked out, it broke Stanfords heart. Stanley was the only person that made him feel happy; not feel as if he was worthless or like needed to prove his worth to him--he was already important enough to Stanley. He was too hot headed to realize that then, but it was true.
Their parents thought that Stanley was nothing without Stanford. Little did they know that they had it completely backwards.
Most of his life he had been alone, the only other person who had made him feel anything besides Stanley was Fiddleford. That was one of the main reasons he invited him to come and work on the portal. Feeling alone and depressed, he needed Fiddleford more than ever and he was still too hot headed to ask Stanley to come to Oregon too, and if he was totally being honest with himself, too ashamed to ask.
Yes, Stanford has made numerous mistakes throughout his life, many he considered to be unforgivable, but, luckily, he found the most amazing people in the world who would--and did-- forgive him, for all of the stupid mistakes he had made.
Dipper, Mabel, and Stanley all believed in him and trusted him, and Stanford wished that he could wholeheartedly say that they were all that he needed-- and they were-- but he was still missing one person; an astonishing man, brilliant mechanic... best friend, (and crush since freshman year of college but whatever).
He believed that Fiddleford would forgive him--no-- he knew that he would, but how could he possibly forgive himself? How could he forgive himself for putting Fidds through all of that? He wished more than anything to see him again to apologize, but was hardly able to do so during Weirdmageddon since everyone was hysterical and acting on adrenaline and mania. They needed to talk, to really talk.
Hearing his name called by a particular little girl snapped him from his cryptic thoughts. As he looked over to her, he suddenly realized how many times his facial expressions had probably changed within the last minute or so. He cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Sorry-- what was that, sweetie?” he asked looking across the fire the currently separated them.
Ford had thought that none of his family would want to be anywhere near anything that even remotely resembles fire, given the events of the past few days, but everyone had insisted that they have a bonfire, (burning anything and everything that takes a triangular form).
Mabel, sitting on the log opposite of Ford next to waddles and Pacifica, looked slightly worried before she replied.
“Oh! I just wanted to ask if you were feeling okay, you know,” she gestured with her hands, “In your heart,” her eyes got big and she squished her face together between her hands, it looked a bit painful.
“Um…” how in the hell was he supposed to respond to that?! “ I, I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Stanford replied, almost with a grimace. He hated not understanding things
Mabel had gotten up and moved over to sit next to Ford. He was surprised to see her shove Dipper out of the way, who had been previously occupying the seat to the left of Ford, so that she could sit next to him instead as well as hear him better over the chatter of bypassers, as attempting to shout over a crowd of people was most unpractical.
Weirdmageddon had brought the small town together and everyone seemed, weirdly, better for it. Gravity Falls had always been a weird town though, so it wasn't really all that surprising for something as crazy as the apocalypse to bring them all closer.
What had originally started as a smores and campfire type ordeal, (along with burning all things that resembled Bill), with only family and the closest of friends, (Mabel, Dipper, Stan, Ford, Wendy, Soos, Pacifica, Waddles, and for some reason, Gompers), had turned into an all out town bonfire complete with a barbeque, fireworks, and the burning of all tri-angled things.
“I don’t like jumping to conclusions,” Mabel started using a purposely silly voice, “Buuuut…” she looked unsure.
“Go ahead,” Ford encouraged with a soft smile. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel as if she couldn't talk to him. Dipper was now sitting to the right of Ford, eagerly, (and obviously), listening in on Mabel and Ford's conversation. Mabel smiled back at Ford, but then resumed to her so called ‘serious’ face.
“ Dipper told me that in your journal you talked a lot about Mr. McGucket and that at Weirdmageddon you guys kind of made up I think and Dipper and me have been talking and we think that you might have liked him, like like-liked him--which is totally fine like no judgment there like I'm dating Pacifica and Dippers trans-- but we both think that you should talk to him and go and tell him how you feel ‘cus Dipper and me see you distracted a lot and we’re like 98.5 percent sure that your thinking about him and we’re sure that he’d forgive you because we know him and we're friends and he saved us from The Society of the Blind Eye so we know that he’s a nice person who will totally forgive you, ” she finished, almost panting-- given she did all of that ranting in only one breath: Ford would have found it very impressive if he were not so terrified by what she had said.
“Uhhh…” he said dumbly, accompanied by a deep blush washing over his face. Great. Just fuCKIN’ GREAT. His niece thought that he was gay for Fiddleford. Just grand. Did he do gay things? HE’S NOT GAY… is he? No. YES? UGHGHGHGH. Just thinking about Fidds made him blush… oh shit… he was gay.
“... yes…?” he finally replied after a minute of painful silence between the two.
“Okay…” Mabel said carefully; she sounded uneasy, or as if she were thinking very hard. “So, you want to make out with-- I MEAN MAKE UP WITH -- him?” she added quickly, blushing slightly at her slip of tongue. Stanford wanted to die. Dipper facepalmed.
“Oh my god,” he heard Dipper whisper.
Miraculously, Mabel recovered in almost an instant, “Great!” she practically screeched. “Since practically the whole town is here, Dipper,” at the sound of his name, Dipper looked up, “And me will go find him for you!” she smiled. “Right Dipper?” she asked in an attempt for affirmation.
“Uh, huh… what? OH, yeah! Yeah, totally,” he tried to make it seem as if he had only been listening after he heard his name said by Mabel. He was not very good at acting.
And just like that, they were gone even before Ford could stop them. He swore rather colorfully underneath his breath, as the fact that he had just let what happened, happen. He new that as soon as he saw Fiddleford, one of three things would happen; 1) he would freeze up completely and not even be able to speak in complete, coherent, sentences, 2) he wouldn't be able to look at him without blushing or saying something over-the-top stupid because he can’t stop staring at his beautiful crystal blue eyes… oh FUCK. he was blushing again, damnit, or 3) he would be a sobbing mess, collapsing at his feet and apologizing repeatedly, begging for his forgiveness. Perhaps it might even be a scarring montage of all three combined.
In all honesty, it wouldn’t even be so bad, (and he wouldnt reply nearly as dramatic), if he were only looking into restoring their ruins of a friendship, but the fact that he wanted more than that terrified him.
He would never say it out loud, but he only recently realized that the feeling he felt whenever he was around Fiddleford was called love. It was scary at first to accept it, especially because of what the vast majority of people thought about it back then, (including his own father), but it was the truth, and it was his truth: He loved Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and he always would.
XXX
Ford patiently waited for the eager twins to come back with the hillbilly. He was truly and utterly terrified, playing out in his mind every possible scenario, every exchange of words, and every reaction that he could possibly fathom.
“ Sweet Moses ,” he thought to himself, “ I’m worse than a teenage girl !”
XXX
Through the short time that Dipper had known him, he had always been vaguely aware of his great-uncle's… preferences .
From thoroughly examining every page, scouring every sentence in his journal both with and without blacklight, it wasn't exactly difficult to tell. It was mainly just the little things scattered throughout the journal, never being enough to for a complete confirmation; just little hearts scribbled in invisible ink on the pages with a sketch of his “assistant,” (whom Dipper know knew was Old Man McGucket), or the occasional MULTIPLE “observations” he’d make about McGucket, and then try to scribble out.
Well, after all, it was the man's JOURNAL, and he probably wasn't anticipating for a twelve year old almost thirteen year old, (so, technically a teen),to go rifling through it and devour every word it had to offer.
Dipper was all for wanting to help reunite Ford with his old “friend,” but he didn’t understand why Mable was so EXCITED about it. Dipper shrugged; must be the inner “matchmaker” in her.
Running to catch up with Mable--who was using physical contact (shoving people) to make her way through the crowd to try to find McGucket. After catching up to her after a bit he finally stopped and begged her to please just pause a moment while he attempted to catch his breath. Running, or anything that requires physical strength, had never been his strong suit. For someone who consumes so much candy and sugar all the time, she sure could run FAST… it was honestly impressive.
“UGH FINE!” she exclaimed in an over the top melodramatic tone, “But just so you know, you are wasting precious time that could be spent with Grunkle Ford and Mr. McGucket SPENDING TIME TOGETHER!!”
Wow, could she have said that any louder?
“Yeah,” gasp, breathe, breathe, “Whatever,” he continued to gasp for air. Man, he shouldn't have gotten THAT winded THAT fast, “Fine, Mabel.”
After only a second more of rest, Mabel let out a thrilled shriek, pointing at something that was within a reasonable distance, then took off.
“UGHHHHH,” he groaned.
Dipper followed her anyway.
XXX
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Mable could barely think over how loud she was screaming. She could barely see him through the overwhelmingly large crowds of the towns people. It was OLD MAN MCGUCKET!
Sprinting forward, (despite Dippers apparent annoyance), she ran up to him just before he was about to move to a new spot again.
Even though it had only been around a week since the apocalypse, Old Man Mcgucket had really started to take care of himself. Guess living in a mansion THAT MAGNIFICENT and THAT FANCY has that effect on people.
When Mabel was close enough to get a good look at him, she was impressed by what she saw, also his fashion skills ls; He was wearing a pair of black slacks and somewhat shiny shoes. He flaunted a white long sleeve button up dress shirt with a plaid sweater vest over it. For most other people who tired to wear this look, they would just end up looking nerdy, but for him, he somehow pulled it off! “If he could pull that off ,” Mabel thought, “Then I wonder what he'd look like if I dressed him up!” Mabel made a side note to remember to ask him to play dress up with her sometime.
McGucket had also shaved off the majority of his beard, to the point here only about ⅓ of the original length was left, or maybe it was ¼… Mabel had never really been good at math, (that was more Dippers thing). He still wore his spectacles with the lenses tinted green, but kept his scarecrow hat, the only constant, (or maybe it was a variable? Again; not good at math), from how he dressed before to how he dressed currently. Mabel couldn't argue that decision to not discard that hat though; it just worked for him!
Since Dipper, Wendy, Soos, and Mabel had helped dismantle the Society of the Blind eye and helped to retrieve McGucket’s stolen memories, and since Bill was only defeated because of his invention, Both Dipper and herself had become acquainted with him; Mabel would even go so far as to say that they were great friends! Because of this, hopefully he wouldn't think that it was too weird for them to drag him through the party to reunite him with their Great Uncle.
The closer Mabel got, the more she realized how tall he had gotten! It seemed as if he had grown a foot from just a few days ago from the last time she saw him. Then she realized that he wasn't as slouched over as he was before, in fact, his posture seemed perfect! Now that he was standing up straight, he easily towered over Mabel
“HEY MR. MCGUCKET!” Mabel cheered. Fiddleford turned around from where he had been getting punch and smiled at Mabel. She had had to say hi pretty loudly as they were still separated by a good distance.
When he smiled at her, he also waved… with his whole arm of course, but Mabel didn’t care.
“Hi-ya ther’ Mabel!”he greeted when they were at an acceptable speaking distance apart, “Are you enjoyin’ th’ bonfire?” he asked with a bright smile lighting up his face.
“Yes! A lot, actually!” he chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“Hey, where’s that brother o’ yers gone off ta’?”
“Oh, Dipper?” Mabel inquired, raising an eyebrow. She received a nod.
“Heh. Pfft. Dip-Dops coming...” she leaned in closer to McGucket so that only he could hear what she was saying, despite how unnecessary it was in actuality, “He’s really bad at running!” she whispered. He just laughed.
“Well, I ain’t too good a’ runnin’ m’self!” Just at that moment, Dipper finally got to where they were standing. He panted.
“Hi, Dipper!” Dipper, who was bent over with his hands on his knees, nodded, lifted a single hand in the air as a greeting.
“So, you kids be needin’ anythin’?” McGucket asked thoughtfully. Mabel shook her head. She then looked over to Dipper who had finally caught his breath.
“Well, actually,” Dipper started, “we wanted to do something for you.”
“For me?” he looked worried, happy, and intrigued all at once. “Well that’s jus’ so sweet of ya’ kids!” He smiled at Dipper who returned the smile as well as a nod.
“Yeah!” continued Mabel, “We want to mend your olden-day friendship so you have to come with us!” she slung an arm around Dipper for emphasis, “And then you can talk to him and become friends again!”
Fiddleford looked unsure.
“Uhh, I don’ know kids… besides, who is this ‘olden-day friendship’ with? And how is he associated with you?”
“Ummmm….” Dipper contemplated.
“IT’S A SURPRISE,” Mabel yelled quickly before grabbing McGucket's arm and pulling him along with Dipper and her.
He just shrugged, figuring that he’d see who it was soon enough, and followed after her.
XXX
Ford saw Mabel and Dipper rush at him through the crowd of people.
“Hey great-uncle Ford!” Dipper said, breathing rather hard.
“Hi, uh, where’s Fiddlef-”
“Are you ready Grunkle Ford?!” Mabel interrupted.
No he wanted to say. How in the world could he possibly be ready?
“Yeah,” he replied instead with a rather unconvincing smile.
Mabel frowned at him before she sat down on the log next to him, now with a very soft smile.
“Grunkle Ford,” she placed her small hand on his shoulder, “you don’t need to be worried, okay?”
“Okay,” he managed to croak out. He had been staring off at the base of the fire the whole time, trying to clear his head and calm his nerves… it wasn't working.
Suddenly, they all hear steady footsteps, heavy breathing, and then a sudden halt in the dirt.
“Mabel, hun,” Fidds said with southern twang, “I told ya; I can’ run fer nothin’!”
He sounded like he was attempting a feigned hurt voice, but was smiling all the while.
Suddenly, he looked up, his face paled.
“ S, S, Stanferd ,” he whispered in a shaky voice.
“Uhhhhhhhh,” he had imagined talking to him so any times, so why was he suddenly rendered speechless?
Mabel nudged Ford.
“H, hey,” he offered with a slight wave of the hand accompanied by a weak smile which quickly faltered as soon as he felt a heavy gaze on his face. He quickly lowered his hand and cast his eyes downward towards his boots.
An unbearably heavy silence filled with tension filled the air.
Unexpectedly, a loud exclaim of the word, “STANFERD!” could be heard with adorned by a bright and cheery southern drawl.
Fiddleford had rushed at Ford with his arms open wide. He then jumped on Ford and tackled him into a hug, wearing a giant smile.
Fords eyes went wide and he just sat there, dumbstruck and panicked at his and Fiddleford’s suddenly compromising position.
Fiddlefords face went completely red as he pulled himself off of Stanford. He offered him a hand up which Ford gratefully took. Soon, Fiddleford was muttering out multiple apologies, while still holding Ford’s hand accidentally.
Fidds was slightly upset by the fact that Ford hadn’t returned the hug when he felt two arms wrap around his waist and was pulled into a broad chest. He then realized that Ford was hugging him, (in much civiler way than Fiddleford had done previously).
Quickly, Fidds returned the hug and held onto Stanford as tight as he could.
He could feel Fords head on his shoulder, with his resting on Fords, and he smiled. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed Ford’s touch until now.
After they pulled out of the hug that lasted for far longer than what is socially acceptable, he smiled at Ford but then frowned when he saw that Ford was on the verge of tears.
“What’s wrong darlin’?” he asked, not noticing how he let the term of endearment slip out, (or how red Fords face got).
XXX
Ford could barely think, or talk, or anything. He was knew that if he did he was sure to cry. Then it all came out.
“I’m so sorry. I’ve been such an awful person. I’ve missed you so much and I should have listened to you because you were right, you’ve always been right, I’m so sorry please forgive me I would do anything for you because your my best friends and--” he continued to sob out his soggy apologies until he felt a finger go up to his mouth, a sign which prevented him from speaking any further. He looked up at Fidds who looked as exasperated as he felt.
Fiddleford just shook his head, eyes closed.
“Stanferd,” he said softly but with enough authority in his tone to keep Ford from interrupting to apologize again, “I thought that we’d already dealt with all o’ this.”
Ford just stared at him owlishly, blinking away the last of his tears.
Fiddleford just smiled, taking Fords two hands into his own.
“Ya’ know, you're not the only ‘ne who made m’stakes,” he looked into the distance, looking captivated by his thoughts before he looked back at Ford.
“We both ‘ave, but ya’ do know that I fergive ya’, right?” he earned a nod in response.
Fidds let go of one of Ford’s hands to wipe a stray tear from Ford’s face with his thumb
“Good.” he smiled.
Ford smiled back.
XXX
Suddenly noticing how intimate the moment seemed to be getting between McGucket and Ford, Dipper took it as a hint to leave.
“Mabel, I, uh, I think that we really should be going now,” he said slightly nodding his head over to where Fidds and Ford stood.
“Yeah, yeah just another minute, Dipper! It’s finally getting good!” she said with euphoria, staring, (probably into the very souls of), Ford and McGucket.
He facepalmed. Nothing in the material world would help him to pry his twin away from making sure that her job, (matchmaking), was done.
He sighed and just decided to go find Wendy or something.
XXX
Mabel couldn’t catch most of anything from the conversation other than the occasional, “That was in the past,” or, “It wasn't your fault,” but mainly, “I’m sorry.” Mabel knew that those two old men had been through so much more than anyone else, that they’ve had to deal with things nobody ever should. On top of all of the horrible things they’ve both witnessed and were subject to, they suffered from heartbreak, which might be the most difficult of it all. She saw the way they spoke to each other, and how filled with regret they both were. She witnessed how sorrowful and melancholy they were front hand, but she could also see the remains of their friendship, and the obvious love they still had for each other. As she saw them interact, she smiled to herself. It might take time, but she could tell that their relationship, (being it strictly platonic or, more likely, romantic), was far from being over.