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Luc found Andrew Scott somewhere. Somewhere was the best descriptor he could come up with. His memories were murky, distorted by the conditioning he had been forced through. He had completed his mission. There were other UniSols. Luc felt no desire to meet them. Every time he met another UniSol, he had to kill it. There was always the risk of being killed himself. He wanted to escape that. He was designed for combat but was starting to slow down. He was tired. It wasn’t physical exhaustion, it was something else. The closest he could get to describing it was his mind was tired. Where had Luc found Andrew? He remembered killing him. Luc found Andrew’s body in another secret, and highly illegal, UniSol facility. He had tracked down this facility to find out more about himself, about what had happened to make him this way, to find out if he could fix it. Luc found no real answers there, but he found something else. Someone else.
Andrew was lying on a metal operating table. Luc stole across the floor to study his face. Andrew was awake and blinking rapidly as if his eyes were bothering him. Luc recognized this soldier. It was the same man he had shot in the head while on his last mission. Something else about him rang familiar as well. For a head-spinning second Luc could smell heat and rain and blood. He could see jungle; he could hear screams and gunfire. Luc staggered and grabbed onto the operating table for support. He knew this man. They had history.
“Who are you?” Andrew’s voice came out with a tiny rasp.
Luc recovered his balance and looked Andrew in the face. Programmed UniSols did not ask questions. “I’m Luc Deveraux. You’re Andrew Scott.” He did not remember how he knew that.
“I am.” Andrew craned his neck to observe Luc better. “You know me.”
“Yes.”
“Where is Doctor Murray? The rest of them?”
“I killed them.” Luc had tried to avoid it, but the medical team had been alerted to his presence and retaliated. They had orders, he couldn’t begrudge them for that, but his will to live was stronger than his reluctance to kill humans.
“Good.”
Andrew reached up a large hand and pulled the needle from the back of his neck. A spurt of liquid splashed from the tip of the needle onto the stainless steel surface of the table. Andrew sat up and rolled his shoulders. “I don’t remember much.”
Luc shook his head. “Me neither.”
The giant blond clenched and unclenched his fists, checking to see if everything was in working order. “My head is fuzzy.”
“That will wear off in time,” Luc said with a tinge of doubt in his voice. His mind was still fuzzy but clearer than it had been.
“I’m going with you.” Andrew looked at him with intent eyes. “Wherever you’re going.”
While Luc’s unfamiliar emotions frightened him, Andrew revelled in his. There was a bright spark that came with each emotion including the negative ones. Even in depression, anxiety, or confusion, he marvelled at the sensations. After being a blank slate for so long, he savoured his newfound emotions. He loved the freedom Luc had brought to them both as well. Luc never gave him orders and Andrew was free to leave if he wanted.
Andrew chose to stay.
Luc was very familiar to him. Sometimes it filled him with unrelenting anger, other times it filled him with relief. Andrew didn’t know why Luc made him feel so conflicted, but he knew that he would die for Luc if he had to.
They were in a motel in a small town. They bedded down there for the night because Luc wanted to be sheltered completely for once while they rested. He also wanted access to a television to check the news, and a shower with soap would be welcome. They ‘slept’ because there was nothing else to do at night. In reality keeping a sleeping schedule, even if they did not need sleep, gave them time to themselves. Plus, there was nothing to keep them occupied in the middle of the night in a town as small as the one they had stopped in. Wandering around would likely invite trouble from authorities which they wanted to avoid.
It was dark when Luc heard Andrew gasp from the single bed that was on the other side of the room parallel to his. Luc flicked on a light and realized that Andrew was sobbing. Luc was startled that he had no idea what to do to help Andrew. He could outmanoeuvre a military ambush but he could not think of a single action that would help in this situation. His chest ached, he couldn’t figure out why. It seemed to have some correlation with Andrew’s visible strife. “What’s wrong?” Luc said with distress clear in his tone. It took Andrew a few minutes to reply. He was crying too much to form words. It was unnerving to watch. Luc got up from his bed to sit next to the other man and place what he hoped was a comforting hand on his back. Andrew grasped Luc’s shirt with his massive hands and held on to him. A wild thought, ‘if I let go of him, he’ll fade away’, flew through Luc’s mind before he dismissed it. Luc circled his arm around Andrew, pulling him closer to cradle him.
“There are so many things missing in my head,” Andrew managed to say. “Who am I? What happened to me? I can’t remember why you’re important to me.”
Luc said nothing. He had some distant memories of his life, the first one he lived before dying in Viet Nam, and he remembered Andrew. He remembered the late nights they spent hunkered down in the mud quietly talking about their homes, their dreams, their aspirations. The rain felt eternal. He remembered killing Andrew the first time. Luc vividly remembered shooting him in the head the second time. Luc rested his cheek on top of Andrew’s head, silently thankful he had found Andrew again and that he was intact. His blond hair was warm and smelled like soap. Another memory came to Luc. Veronica Roberts, a woman whose face he could barely picture anymore, had held him like this once too. He called back the inner warmth that her embrace had made him feel. What else had she done to make him feel better?
Luc kissed the side of Andrew’s face. “I’ll help you,” he murmured, “We’ll get answers.” Andrew shuddered but his crying was beginning to stop. They stayed on the bed, prolonging the comfort from each other’s presence. Andrew turned his head and Luc found himself being kissed on the mouth. Andrew’s skin was very hot. To an ordinary human, he would feel feverish. To Luc, it did not feel out of place. His own skin was as hot. The kiss was a demand for consolation, for a connection. Neither of them pushed it further than that. Neither of them felt prepared. Luc didn’t know why his body was reacting physically to Andrew’s touch and Andrew didn’t know if he could emotionally handle anything more than a kiss. With Luc so close to him, he was afraid that he might explode into nonexistence.
They travelled on foot a lot. Occasionally Andrew would pester Luc until they stole a car. Once they did that, Andrew would insist on driving. They would go hurtling down the highway at speeds that would be too great for anyone but a UniSol to manage. Luc preferred walking. There was more to see when they walked. They spent most of their time outdoors in all types of weather. Cold weather was preferable. In the rain they would steam a little from their high body temperatures. Snow was perfect. They felt at their physical best when it was cold enough to snow. Sometimes if they were outside city limits, they would strip their clothes off and lie on their backs in the snow to watch the sky. Their breath would come out in clouds and mingle with the steam rising from their bare skin as snow melted around them.
Walking also made it easy for them to stop any time they wished and check out their surroundings. During the first months of travelling together, they stopped at libraries and art galleries. They researched history. Everything they missed since Viet Nam, everything they wanted to know about any subject at all, they took advantage of the libraries they encountered to learn. They read about how the war in Viet Nam ended and the social fallout from it. They read technical manuals and books on survival. At one point Andrew started picking up science fiction and fantasy novels. Luc gave them cursory glances but they reminded him too much of his own extraordinary, mangled life. He started to read poetry instead, with an inclination towards metaphysical and religious writers.
Art galleries were an unexpected but pleasant way to reconnect with the society they had strayed from. Luc was more fascinated by traditional art, and Andrew would indulge him as long as they could go see movies later. Andrew was captivated by cinema. He loved horror, a genre that made Luc’s stomach turn, but Andrew would watch anything as long as it was playing in a theatre.
To Andrew’s delight, he discovered that he tattooed more easily that before. His body healed at such amazing and efficient rates that it resulted in beautifully vibrant tattoos with little to no loss of quality. One day he got “Never Say Die” tattooed on his ribs on the right side. He showed it off to Luc, laughing about how he wished the artist who did it knew how many times he had been killed. Luc, knowing that he had been Andrew’s killer more than once, did not find it funny. Andrew told him to chill out and cackled to himself.
Luc liked to try new foods even though they didn’t need to eat to sustain themselves. Andrew felt indifferent towards food but Luc enjoyed eating so much that he couldn’t help but share some of his enthusiasm. They ate great food at expensive restaurants when they had money (not paying would cause a hassle that neither of them wanted to deal with), they ate terrible food at fairs and carnivals, they ate wherever Luc wanted to. They tried all sorts of food from different cultures when the opportunity presented itself. Luc loved eating French and Cajun. Andrew loved experiencing it with him. It was an interesting facet of existence.
Andrew felt strongly towards Luc. Looking at him would cause his chest to tighten and his heart to swell. Luc had given him so much, and they were the only two in the whole world like the other. Other UniSols had been developed but he and Luc were from the original set. All the mistakes had been made with them, all ethical behaviour ignored in their case, all of the torture inflicted on them. They were survivors. Even if other UniSols existed, there was something about Andrew and Luc that was different. Luc had stolen books and papers from the facility where Andrew had been found and they had poured over them time and time again but there was no explanation given as to why they were so unique. No scientific theory or medical definition could explain why Andrew and Luc carried so much from their previous lives with them, or why other UniSols didn’t react to simply existing the same way.
That emotional connection was the starting point for Andrew’s infatuation with Luc but it didn’t end with loyalty and adoration. There was physical wanting, too. Andrew wanted Luc as a sexual partner. He was sure that he felt something for Luc and if he had learned anything from reading books and watching movies, one way to express that was through sex. Truth be told, it was his own physical urges that dictated this to him more so than any media influence he had encountered. Luc enticed and intrigued him.
He confronted Luc with his feelings while they were renting a cheap apartment. Andrew had drummed up the cash and arranged for them to have a place for their own for once. Luc approved of it, saying it could be a trial run to see if they could reintegrate with society. Andrew secretly thought they could never reintegrate. He just liked having something to call their own.
It was a cool winter evening when Andrew brought Luc to the bedroom. “We don’t we try sex?” he said.
“What?” Luc looked at him with a comically baffled expression.
Andrew cupped the other man’s face with his hands. “Let me kiss you. I can show you what I mean.”
Luc merely gave him a wide-eyed look. He had boyish charm that shone through whenever he made an expression like that and it was something that Andrew hadn’t seen in awhile. Luc was usually so serious. Andrew kissed Luc. It wasn’t the first time they had kissed since that night in the motel room, but it was the first time that he tried to move the kiss further. He used his tongue and let his hands run over Luc’s body. He could feel Luc responding to his touch. Luc was kissing him back. Andrew pushed against him and was pleased that Luc gave him appropriate resistance. It meant that Luc was going to push as much as Andrew did; it was a signal that he was willing and ready.
Luc allowed Andrew to guide him to their bed. It was a rarely thought of fixture in their living space, neither needing to sleep, but now it was going to be put to use. Andrew’s hands were very strong, even by UniSol standards. He undressed Luc and let the clothes fall away piece by piece. Luc was panting now, eyes gleaming in the low light of their bedroom. Andrew gave him a disarming crooked smile and undressed as well. Luc felt like he was in a daze. How was this happening? It was seemingly out of nowhere. But Andrew felt so good.
Teeth. Andrew used his teeth. Luc hissed at the bites which drew blood but brought little pain. Luc pulled on his hair in return, giving as good as he got it. They were rough as they tested each other’s boundaries, seeing what was liked and what wasn’t. It got less violent and became tender as they progressed. Luc’s moans were breathy. Andrew wanted to make them louder. He took Luc’s cock into his mouth and made him cry out. Andrew used Luc’s physical reactions as a gauge. He listened for his moans and changes in his breathing pattern, he could feel Luc’s hands scrambling to grip into his hair and dig gouges into his back with his nails. Luc came in his mouth. Andrew almost gagged but made himself swallow.
“Tabarnak,” Luc said softly.
Andrew grinned and stood up. “Good?”
Luc nodded. He slid off the bed and knelt in front of Andrew. “Let me.”
“No, let’s try something else.” Andrew helped Luc up and gently positioned him on all fours on the bed. “This is something different.”
Luc hoped the downstairs neighbours couldn’t hear him screaming Andrew’s name.
It took Andrew a long time to identify the emotion ‘love’. He could easily pick out his more violent emotions such as anger and jealousy or the simpler positive ones like admiration, but putting a name to the warm feelings that Luc evoked in him was a challenge. At first he thought it was a response to the endorphins that occurred during sex. When the emotion persisted in other aspects of their lives, it gave him pause and forced him to think harder about it. He experienced the same feelings when he watched Luc in peaceful moments, such as reading or walking in silence. Brushing Luc’s skin would send a charge of electricity through him.
He loved Luc. Once he labelled the previously unknown emotion as love, Andrew was astounded by how simple it was. He loved Luc.
“I love you.”
The words left his mouth one day. Andrew did nothing to try and stop them. There was no use lying to Luc, or trying to hide it. Luc blinked in surprise and turned his head to look at Andrew dead on. “Really?” he asked softly.
“Yeah.”
Luc turned away and returned his gaze to where he had been looking before. They were standing on an outcrop of rock in a forest. Below them was a valley filled with trees. Andrew had suggested they take to the wilderness for awhile, just to test it out. Luc agreed and they made their way deep into the heart of a forest situated at the foot of some large rocky hills, not quite tall enough to be mountains but enough to escape from humans for awhile. Andrew stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and watched Luc, waiting for his response. Luc chose his words carefully. Whenever they spoke to each other, Luc always meant what he said.
“I love you, too.”
Andrew expected more but Luc said nothing else. The blond UniSol reached out for Luc’s hand. Without looking back, Luc grasped it. Andrew kissed Luc’s neck and nuzzled him. “I’ll follow you wherever you’re going.”
“I know.”
Luc closed his eyes and listened. He could hear Andrew breathing, the heart beating in his chest. He listened to the wind, to the trees shifting in the valley below. He wondered if he would have to kill Andrew again one day. He desperately hoped not.