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Dan had started to grow suspicious when Max had refused to join him and the guys for a night out the third time in a row.
Usually, it was the Dutch himself to initiate a drinking night, dragging Dan along to over-crowded bars and noisy pubs to either celebrate a victory or make up for a loss.
But when Max would just shrug his shoulders and excuse himself by saying that he was somewhat tired and simply not feeling like it, Dan started to wonder what was up with the young Dutchman.
The time that wasn't spend in a car, Max passed alone in his hotel room and the casual nights that the Australian and the younger Red Bull driver had once shared ended abruptly.
The Dutch, once so neat when it came to his diet and exercise, declined
several of Dan's offers to work out together and started eating at weird hours of the day, tossing aside the diet schedule he had stuck with over the last months.
It was when Max stopped giving everything on track, letting slip more and more risky opportunities to pass other drivers, that Dan knew that something was definitely wrong with the younger one.
The door of Max's motorhome fell shut behind Dan and the Dutch jumped where he was sitting on his couch, feet propped up on a small table.
"Can I talk to you?" Dan asked and the question alone made him feel weird. Just a few weeks ago, everything had been completely relaxed between the two of them, hell, they had shagged several times and Dan, for his part, had definitely enjoyed it.
But lately, Max avoided his gaze whenever possible and the Aussie simply couldn't understand what had changed between them.
Had Max wanted to end their friends with benefits thing? Had he grown tired of Dan, found someone new?
Was that the reason for his weird behavior?
Was Max dating someone and didn't know how to tell Dan?
The Australian's gaze wandered over the Dutch's body, his broad shoulders that were covered in a team shirt.
Was Max afraid he'd hurt Dan's feelings?
"Sure," Max answered but did not even bother to look up from his phone, "go ahead."
Dan made a few steps into the room and eventually sat down next to his team mate, eying him curiously.
He didn't miss the tension in the younger one's chest, nor the way his fingers were trembling, clasped around his phone.
The Aussie let out a sigh and took away the mobile, laying it down next to Max's feet on the table.
Hesitating, and with a low growl, Max eventually shot Dan a look.
"Yeah?"
"What's up, Maxy?" Dan asked sympathetically and thought to see the younger one flinch when he made use of his nickname.
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
A shaky breath escaped the Dutch's lips and his cheeks flushed in a deep red, while he was nervously tabbing his fingers against his muscular thigh.
"I can take it, Max," Dan added and waited until their gazes interlocked once again, "whatever it is, just tell me."
Max's lips parted, as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out and his gaze dropped to his hands in his lap, discomfort written all over his face.
"You know, if there's another guy - or girl - that's fine.... just tell me the truth."
Max's head snapped and his gaze shot up, while the younger one's eyes widened.
"What?!"
"Come on, Max, we're both adults and what he had was nothing serious, so you can-..."
Max cut him off by getting up in a rush, "What?!"
Dan felt taken aback by the younger one's reaction, stuttering, "Max, I swear, you can tell me-..."
"God," Max snapped and opened the door, ready to escape the situation, "you're an idiot."
And then, when he was already halfway down the hallway, Dan thought to hear him mumble I'm an idiot.
The Aussie had waited for his team mate to come back for more than an hour, but there was a sponsor event set for the evening and he had had to leave, eventually.
Max didn't even look his way once over the next two weeks and Dan couldn't deny that he was missing the young Dutch and his temper, his silly stories and how he would laugh at every immature joke Dan would make.
He stopped Max after a race another week later, when exhaustion was lighting up in the Dutchman's eyes, carrying a water bottle with him that he was holding on to like an anchor at sea.
"Max," Dan asked, after giving the empty hallway a look, making sure that they were alone, "talk to me, please. Tell me what's wrong with you. You're only a shadow of yourself."
Max snorted and pushed the Aussie aside, but without any strength in the movement, "Thanks, how very flattering of you, Dan."
"That's not..."
"Not what? Not fair?"
There was anger in Max's tone but it didn't reach his eyes, so Dan brushed his thumb across the younger one's cheekbone, like he had done it when they had been sleeping together.
But Max flinched under the touch and let out an almost pained sound that went straight to Dan's heart.
What had happened between the two of them?
He just couldn't tell.
"You're looking like shit, Max, and I want to help you. So tell me what to do."
"Leaving me alone would be a start."
Dan shook his head, "You can't actually want that."
Something was flashing across the Dutch's face but it was gone all too soon.
"You need help, Maxy... Your performances in the car are getting worse and worse and-..."
"Ah, so all you care about is the team's result," Max took a step back, "I'm sorry but I really don't need that talk right now."
He turned around to leave but gave Dan another look, "And just if you care; I'm seeing a doctor on Monday."
"A doctor?" Dan's heart dropped to the floor, "is it a medical condition?"
"A medical condition..." Max repeated the words below his breath, voice shaky and almost breaking away.
Dan wanted to pull him in and hold him close, to comfort him and tell him that it would be okay, but Max would simply shove him away once again and Dan swallowed hard.
"Will the doctor be able to help you?"
Dan wondered if it was really a tear rolling down Max's cheek or whether the dim light of the corridor was playing a trick on him.
"He will take care of it," the Dutch answered, barely audibly, before he went away.
But Max wasn't looking any better after his appointment at the doctor's.
In fact, he was looking more miserable than ever, with dark circles under his eyes and exhausted frame.
He didn't speak to anyone, didn't get the results the team expected of him and avoided Dan as much as he could.
It had been about 3 months now, since the Aussie had spent a night in Max's bed the last time and just a few weeks less since he had last kissed the younger one and it began to physically hurt Dan to stay away from his team mate.
To not just give him a hug from behind when he was going through some data, to not place a dry kiss against the corners of his mouth to ease away a frown.
Max didn't want him any longer and he would have to accept that, eventually.
But no one had ever said it would be this hard.
He was standing in front of the open garage with his mechanics, getting the car ready for the Barcelona Grand Prix, while the sun was shining down on him, warming up his skin, when Christian and Max came through a door in the back of the stall.
The older one's face was utter disbelief, frozen in shock, while Max's cheeks were completely pale, gaze dropping to the floor.
Dan crossed the garage with large steps but Max slipped away and out to his motor home before he could reach him, so Dan turned to face Christian, who still seemed paralyzed.
"What has happened? Is Max okay? Is it because of-..."
"Daniel," Christian interrupted him with a blank face, "Max... he quit."
Dan's mouth fell open and he felt like he couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"He... He... WHAT? He can't... He... He's going to another team?"
Christian shook his head and ran a hand over his face, "No, Daniel. He quit. As in, he's leaving the Formula 1. He'll stop racing."
Dan's heart was beating in his throat, far too fast for an athlete.
"That... That can't be true. He has a contract. He can't just..."
Christian's face darkened and he let out a sigh, "Apparently, he can. He's got a doctor's certificate that will withdraw his super license to drive in F1."
Dan felt sick.
So Max really was ill. Seriously so, if it wouldn't allow him to keep competing. He felt like he'd have to throw up.
"Is he... I mean, is he..."
"Dan," Christian's hand came to rest on the Australian's shaking shoulder, "I think you should talk to him."
Dan's pulse was still on high speed when he was standing in front of Max's motor home, fighting a battle with himself on whether he should knock or not.
If the Dutch would know it was him, he surely wouldn't let him inside.
So Dan pushed the doorknob, to find it locked up.
"Max!" he called, hammering a fist against the door when his young team mate didn't respond, "Max, open up!"
The other driver eventually opened the door, silently standing in the frame for a few seconds, before he finally stepped aside without saying anything, letting the Aussie in.
"I guess I can't escape from it any longer," Max said once they had sat down on his large couch, the one that they had shared long making out sessions on before everything had gone to hell.
It felt like a punch to Dan's chest.
Even more so, when Max's gaze wasn't anywhere near angry anymore; just very sad and exhausted, his eyes nervously flickering over Dan's body.
"I need to-"
"Why would you-", they said at the very same time and Max's eyes dropped in shame.
"You start."
"No," Dan said and Max flinched, "just... just be honest with me, Max. Tell me what is wrong."
Max's bright eyes found his, more afraid than the Aussie had ever seen them, and it literally broke his heart.
"I... I'll show you something," Max eventually whispered and shifted on the couch.
He was still wearing his racing suit from the qualifying and when he began to open up the zip, until the suit was resting low on his hips, Dan watched his team mate in confusion.
The neon logos of their sponsors stuck out from the plain white of Max's tight fireproofs and Dan's breath got caught in his lungs when the Dutch's fingers curled around the seam of his tight shirt, lifting it until it revealed his stomach.
That's not possible.
Dan stared at Max's stomach, at the skin that was once so familiar, and the bump that was clearly there, swelling above the seam of Max's underwear, where his defined six pack had once been.
Dan's jaw dropped while he still couldn't believe what he was seeing, not until he heard Max sniff.
The Aussie's gaze shot up and caught how Max tried to hide his tears by wiping them away with his sleeve.
"I'm so sorry, Daniel. When I found out that I'm pregnant, I was so ashamed of myself. I just couldn't tell you. I didn't know how."
Dan felt paralyzed.
"You couldn't tell me that you're expecting a child with your new... boyfriend?"
"What?!" Max's eyes widened, "No! Dan!"
The Dutch's palm spread across the bump and caressed it softly.
"I'm 3 months in...."
The Aussie froze.
"It's yours, Dan."
Dan's world came crashing down on him.
Everything he had done, every single race that he had won during those last years crashed down on him and he felt how all the oxygen got pressed out of his lungs, leaving him breathless and close to hyperventilation, while he stared at Max and his naked stomach, at the man that was carrying his - their - baby and had done so for a while and he felt like he'd pass out.
"Maxy..." Dan whispered, so quiet that it was barely audible and Max suddenly started sobbing.
"I'm sorry, Dan, I knew you thought I was taking my contraception pills but I must have forgotten them some time and, and,.... I.... I wanted to abort it, you know, but I just couldn't," tears were streaming down the young driver's face and he silently sobbed into his sleeve, "I just couldn't because it's my baby, Dan. It's our baby. I couldn't kill it."
"Our baby," the Aussie repeated and Max nodded, looking up at the older one with big eyes.
Dan closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.
"Max... Maxy... You're an idiot. An dickhead. A fucking imbecile. How... How could you?"
"I'm sorry, Dan, I-..."
Dan cut the Dutch off by leaning in and placing his fingers right above Max's hand that was still caressing his belly, feeling the soft skin of the Dutch beneath his fingertips.
"How could you think I would be mad at you? How could you, just for one second, think I wouldn't support you with this?"
The young driver's eyes, blurred by tears, widened some more.
"Fucking hell, I love you, Max. I'm in love with you. I'm... Oh god, I thought you were severely ill. I thought you... Fuck."
"You... You.. You said we were nothing serious, I thought I'd ruin your life, y-your career."
"That's because I'm an idiot, Max."
Dan slipped off the couch until he was kneeling between Max's legs, carefully placing a kiss against the bump that held their child, their baby.
The Australian felt the other driver shiver under the touch and he looked up at Max, reaching for his hand to intertwine their fingers.
"I love you, Maxy. And even if I didn't, you wouldn't have to be afraid I'd be mad at you, alrighty?"
Max nodded and wiped away a single tear that was rolling down his cheek.
"I'm with you, okay? I'll support you and you'll be able to come back to F1. I can take a season off next year, so you can come back. Or we'll both take a break for a while. The Red Bull is crap at the time anyway."
That drew a small smile from Max and Dan gave his lover's belly another kiss.
"You hear me, Banjo Murphy? Daddy loves you."
"Banjo Murphy?" Max nearly choked at the name and broke into a fits of giggles that mixed with hiccups from having cried.
"What?" Dan looked up, faking offense, "that's a good ol' Aussie name."
"No way you're going to abuse my child like that."
"Our child."
Max smiled and pulled Dan up for a kiss, "Our child."