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In Which Aster Phoenix Learns Something He'd Rather Not Know

Summary:

Prompt on my friend's writing server: You’ve never seen watersports quite like this!

Jaden invites Aster to participate in watersports and Syrus takes it upon himself to teach Aster a not-so-innocuous interpretation.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Aster Phoenix excels in two categories: extreme sports and children’s card games. It’s about time Jaden took notice of that inarguable fact. Aster relishes the Slifer’s offhanded invitation to join him in watersports. Aster wants to brag, rub it in someone’s face that Jaden’s chosen him to hang out with, but then Aster realizes he has no friends. Oh well… anyone with a pulse will do.

Going door to door through the Slifer dorm, Aster isn’t sure who he’s expecting to run into, but he decides Syrus Truesdale will just have to suffice. “Hey Syrus, did ya hear? Jaden invited me to join him in watersports,” Aster brags, hands on his hips in triumph.

Satisfaction is not achieved, however, given an expression other than jealousy paints Syrus’s face in broad strokes. “What is it? Rendered speechless by how friendly Jay and I are?”

“Aster, do you even know what watersports is?”

The critical look is unwarranted from the side character; Aster scowls in response. “Duh, of course I know, bro. We’re going to go jet skiing or something.”

Syrus tuts, shaking his head in disappointment like an evangelist speaking with a nonbeliever. “Aster, let me show you what Jay actually meant.” Syrus opens up his laptop, baby hands tapping away. Aster leans in with curiosity as a video finishes buffering through Duel Academy’s shitty WIFI.

 

“Syrus, that is not watersports; I don’t see any skis or inner tubes. Where are their swimsuits? Syrus, why are they getting naked? I don’t see why they’d do that on cam- Oh God-”Aster has no choice but to avert his eyes, covering them with his hands for extra insurance. The pro-duelist has found a new level of respect for Syrus in the form of primal fear.

“Aster, you wanted to know didn’t you, what Jaden’s into? Be a man and look,” Syrus presses, pulling Aster’s hands away.

“I’m only fourteen!” Aster argues, recoiling from Syrus’s touch. He doesn’t know where those hands have been.

“Don’t worry; they’ll age you up for the sex part,” Syrus assures. When Aster doesn’t comply, Syrus pauses the video, arms crossed. “Maybe this is why you’re not Jay’s best friend…”

The comment stings far deeper than Aster would ever admit, and sparks a competitiveness within him that finally allows his head to shift towards the computer screen.

“Even though they’re naked, they’re gonna put sunscreen on, right? Protection is the first rule of extreme sports.” Syrus laughs unnervingly at Aster’s question, doing nothing to ease his concern about personal safety.

Aster is losing patience, ready to complain about Syrus’s crappy video when it happens. “He’s going to pee in that guy’s butt!”

Syrus turns to meet Aster’s eyes, chin tilted up so Aster has no choice but to acknowledge the depths of their soullessness. “That’s what Jaden wants.”

 

Aster spends a few days processing the loss of his innocence, taking sanctuary in his private yacht and coming to a decision before he storms Jaden’s dorm room.

“Jaden! I really like you, even if you want to pee in my butt, or like on me!”

Heartfelt confession off his chest, Aster has time to notice Jaden’s attire. Clad in school-issued swim trunks and goggles hanging from his neck, the pro-duelist wonders if he should take a hit out on Syrus or just strangle him to death himself. “J-Jaden, I can explain!”

“Nah, it’s cool bro! I really like you too. I don’t really wanna pee in your butt or anything, but it’s good to know you’re willing to look past those kinds of flaws.” Jaden nods his head like an obliging bobble-head, frowning a bit at the severity of the flush consuming Aster’s face. “Dude, you might want to put on some sunscreen so you don’t get any redder. And maybe some trunks… But if you want to swim in your suit, that’s chill too.”

“Th-thanks Jaden; I’ll go do that and meet you at the beach.” Scampering off to collect himself and his trunks, Aster realizes weird kinks must run in the Truesdale family.

Notes:

Soooo, yeah! Just a little tongue in cheek story because Aster is a dumb lil dingus boy and I thought the prompt was funny. No lynchings please