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It stung to see your loved one around someone else. It was worse when you were together but no one knows. It doesn't get better after a few weeks, because Kavinsky obviously has to get in someone else's pants while he can't get to Ronan's.
"He's my friend, too." Ronan was sulking sober, pointedly not looking at Kavinsky while he drove. "He'll be hurt at some point."
"He's already bruised all over, what's one more gonna change? Probably the softest blow he'll receive this month."
"You had to kiss in the middle of the hallway, did you?"
Kavinsky took some time to answer. Ronan had forgotten where they were driving to.
"Hey, we don't share classes. I think I got him off, too."
He conveniently forgot to mention that since Adam was too shy to let him in the same hallway, that happened in a bathroom stall. If Ronan had stuck around more, he'd have known about what the situation had truly built up to.
"You're really just an attention whore."
"Are you pissed about his feelings potentially being hurt or about me doing exactly what you wanted— not let anyone suspect that we're at least sexually involved ?" Kavinsky abruptly pulled over because apparently, the middle of nowhere is where they were headed. "You're not helping with the last point."
Ronan finally turned to stare in his dark eyes.
"Both are true."
"Cut the crap."
"It's even worse because we're friends. How can you—"
"Oh no," Kavinsky slowly said. "You're not shaming me. You wanted to keep whatever the fuck it is a secret," he angrily pointed out. "You know what to do if you want out." He paused. "Can't help if your mind is too fucked to be made up."
He reached out to the handle of Ronan's door, heavily leaning on him to complete the task. He pushed the door open and sat back.
"What?" Ronan asked.
"Can't go to Rome if you don't know you wanna get there." Kavinsky answered, playing with a strange whistle. "Just don't come back until you've given it a good thought."
Ronan caught the whistle, his hands and finally, his lips. Kavinsky let him. Adam was a poor substitute despite being way better than any other boy. He closed his eyes. Ronan released him and wordlessly exited the cabin. He didn't close the door. Kavinsky didn't either.
Half a night isn't enough time to make anything, let alone his mind. The night was usually their moment, that is to say dark, quiet, secret. He sacrificed everything to make his point: even a thief deserved more than stolen moments.
Ronan was too tired to take a decision, too sober for a rash one. He didn't feel ready to let anyone know, not yet. The worse thing that would happen was disappointing Gansey, which happens quite often and hurting Adam, which would be a first. He thought and didn't sleep no more than a handful of minutes at the time.
A few hours later, most parties have ended and he was still awake. Ronan knew what a secret was, for he held a few. Kavinsky wasn't one of them.
The door of the Barns was slammed behind him with a satisfying sound. He was tired enough to feel drunk, hopefully, no one will pull him over for not sleeping. He didn't have to knock, just like Kavinsky didn't have to when he paid the Barns a visit. He didn't find Kavinsky at his place and honestly didn't expect to, which is partly why he came.
It didn't have to be a big thing. It just had to be a thing. Kavinsky was still ignoring him in the morning, but that didn't deter him from finally changing what needed to be.
"Kavinsky."
He didn't have to yell. His low voice was still loud enough. Kavinsky heard but didn't look. Still, Ronan saw the corner of his mouth quirk. Soothing Kavinsky meant hurting Adam. It had stopped being a choice, now.
He caught Kavinsky's wrist and yanked him away from the battered young man. Adam stepped back. A complicated emotion flickered across his features.
"Didn't notice you," Kavinsky said, faking his lack of interest.
"Thought Parrish had hearing problems," Ronan retorted, loud enough that Adam would hear.
He didn't see his reaction, half because he felt too guilty to look and half because he was too busy kissing Kavinsky. At least Kavinsky was too eager to make him wait.
"Fucking finally," he muttered against Ronan's lips.
Kavinsky wouldn't have forgiven him without a show. Ronan had felt something break in him while targeting Adam. It was strange. He felt free, but there was still something gone, that he was not getting back. Something greater than his friendship with Adam and Gansey, as incredible as it sounds.
Together, Kavinsky and him were Aglionby turned upside down, revealing the ugly in themselves and everyone else. They were unholy, they were kings, though blood had been the price for their crowns.