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Never Ask the Peanut Gallery

Summary:

Pidge has a problem. And she realizes that there are some problems that her teammates can't--or, more specific, shouldn't--try to solve.

Work Text:

Pidge knew she was well below the average height for a girl her age. She was fine with it, despite her frequent cursing of her short arms and legs.

However, she was also well aware that her boyfriend was above average height. Way, way above average…

She was okay with this, too.

Well. Most of the time.

See, there was just one little problem.

Heh, little.

Anyway. That problem is that she could not, in fact, kiss her fantastic boyfriend whenever she so chose due to the vast differences in their heights.

It wasn’t for lack of trying. Those attempts usually left her trying to passionately kiss Shiro’s chin. Which, believe it or not, was not romantic. At all.

It just wasn’t fair, because he could easily give her a surprise kiss whenever he wanted! She wanted to give her boyfriend surprise kisses, too!

Sure, she could give him kisses when he was sitting down, but that just wasn’t the same.

Pidge heaved a sigh and slumped back against the couch. Tall people have it made, she thought irritably. They don’t have to ask for help getting things from the top shelf. Or get mistaken for little kids. And can do cute romantic things like give their significant other a surprise kiss…

She sat up straighter, thinking.

Well, problems had solutions. She just had to find one.

Obviously praying, wishing and hoping for a sudden growth spurt was unlikely to yield desired results, so that was an easily scrapped idea.

So she just had to find a way to make herself taller…

Hmm…

A robot that could lift her up?

Intriguing but difficult.

Carrying around a footstool everywhere was impractical.

(She knew this for a fact, as she had tried this before and got told to stop because apparently she was embarrassing her mother and making the Galaxy Garrison Christmas party awkward…)

So she looked around the room—full of her fellow Paladins, the Princess and Coran, all relaxing after a day of training. Shiro was absent, getting a shower, so this was the perfect time.

“Shiro is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips,” She said. Normally she wouldn’t bring them into her love life, but she was also out of ideas and up for just about any suggestions from the peanut gallery. “What should I do?”

She quickly regretted this decision as the responses came in.

“Kick him in the shin,” Lance suggested.

“Get the Green Lion to pin him to the ground,” Hunk said.

“Tackle him.” Allura said with much more enthusiasm than needed. “And kiss him while he’s pinned.”

“Just feed him a bit of a Stringaling plant from the planet Kalamar and he’ll shrink down to your size!” Coran exclaimed. “Granted, Number One might also turn turquoise as a side-effect. And there’s a fifteen percent chance of his ears falling off, but that’s okay because there’s a forty percent chance of him growing a second head, so it’ll balance out. With the added bonus of there being more opportunities for showing your love for each other by passing germs via your oral orifices!”

“Punch him in the stomach, then when he’s doubled over in pain, you kiss him.” Keith said, not looking up from the knife he was sharpening.

“NO TO ALL OF THESE!”

Everyone jumped to see a horrified looking Shiro standing in the doorway, a towel around his shoulders and his eyes wide.

“Just ask me to lean down!” He told Pidge.

“But that’s no fun,” Pidge said, turning in her seat to pout at him.

Then, she had an idea.

Quick as a flash, she was in front of him. She reached up and grabbed each end of the towel, pulling as she stood on her tip-toes, forcing Shiro to lean down.

Her lips met his and… success!

They had kissed!

She released him with a smile a moment later.

He looked confused, but also grinned at her. “Much better than if you had punched me.”

“I’m rather fond of the results myself,” Pidge said, moving the end of the towel in her hand back and forth some in a teasing manner. “Unfortunately for you, you’re going to have to have a towel around your shoulder at all times from now on.”

“How is that unfortunate?”

“You’re going to be a fashion nightmare.”

“Eh. I’ve gone through worse.”

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