Chapter Text
Lance wasn’t sure if it was the look in Keith’s eyes or the beer he’d been drinking that was making his heart pound. A deep, rapid thud in his chest that grew faster as his breaths grew quicker. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Keith’s gaze, getting lost in his dark grey, almost violet eyes.
He hoped it was just the beer.
Keith had invited Lance over to his dorm to hang out. His roommate was out at a party, so it was just the two of them. Keith handed Lance a beer and the two of them sat on the couch together, just talking. Lance didn’t even realize how close they were sitting on the couch until Keith looked at him like that.
“Lance...” he said softly.
Lance wanted to look away. He wanted to tell Keith that he didn’t like guys and just wanted to be friends. His brain screamed at him to push Keith away and leave, but... something about those eyes, and the gentle caress of Keith’s hand going down his arm, and the delicate, gentle softness of his voice whispering his name...
Lance found himself putting his hand on Keith’s side, the warmth of the touch making his heart pound harder. Keith was leaning in, and although he silently screamed at himself to stop, Lance leaned in too. He placed his other hand delicately behind Keith’s neck, pulling him forward to close the gap.
Lance’s heart swelled when Keith’s lips touched his own. They were light and gentle, and moved slowly and sweetly. With each movement, another chill was sent down Lance’s spine. In this moment, Lance was so elated that he didn’t care about the little voice telling him to stop. He couldn’t even hear what it was saying.
A moment later, Keith pulled back, slowly letting go of Lance’s lips. Lance’s eyes fluttered open, though he didn’t even remember closing them in the first place. He looked up at Keith and was met with a loving, blissful gaze that made his heart melt.
Suddenly, Lance desperately wanted more. More gentle strokes, more kisses, more Keith. He pulled Keith back to his face, kissing him hard. He tangled both his hands in Keith’s long, silky hair, and Keith wrapped his arms around Lance, pulling his body as close as he could.
This kiss was much different than the last one. Instead of gentle, Keith’s lips were moving quickly and roughly against his own. He pulled Lance closer until he was pretty much sitting on his lap, then he moved his mouth over to Lance’s cheek, then down to his neck. Lance gripped Keith’s hair and sighed at the feeling of Keith’s lips on his skin.
“Lance, is this okay?” Keith asked between kisses.
Any other day, Lance probably would have said no. But right now, he was desperate for more of Keith. He latched onto him and never wanted to let him go.
“Yeah. This is okay.”
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Lance’s eyelids were heavy with drowsiness the next morning. He tried to open them, but the warmth of the bed enticed him, somehow making it impossible. Instead, he decided to snuggle deeper into the covers, pressing his body against the heat source next to him.
Wait a minute.
Lance’s eyes shot open, all the drowsiness vanishing in an instant, only to be replaced by shock. He jolted upright and looked at the sleeping figure next to him. He was filled with horror when he remembered what he had done last night. There was no way he’d ever forgive himself for that. He would never be able to see Keith the same way. He wouldn’t even be able to talk to Keith.
Lance was absolutely mortified. He had to get out of here before Keith woke up. Fortunately, it was still dark and Keith was pretty much out cold. Lance was lying on the side of the bed closer to the wall, so getting out was going to be tricky. He could either try to awkwardly climb over Keith’s sleeping body, or awkwardly slide himself down to the foot of the bed. He decided the second option would be the best, because he did NOT want to risk Keith waking up, let along to Lance on top of him.
He slowly inched his way down to the foot of the bed and realized in embarrassment that he was completely naked. He stood op and frantically searched the floor for his clothes. He noticed that Keith’s roommate was asleep in the other bed, and internally groaned in frustration and mortification knowing that he had probably seen Lance in bed with Keith.
He finally spotted the pile of clothes on the ground and snatched it up in the blink of an eye. He got dressed faster than he had ever gotten dressed before, while still being careful to be absolutely silent.
His heart was thudding and he was silently begging Keith and his roommate to not wake up. He crept over to the door and carefully opened it, cringing at the squeaking coming from the hinges. He only opened the door wide enough for his slim body to slip out. Then he closed it shut and bolted down the hallway towards his dorm.
That was when it fully hit him. Lance had fucked Keith Kogane.
A wave of self-hatred and disgust washed over him, consuming him. He stopped running and instead curled up into a ball by the wall. He knew his roommate Hunk would be in his dorm, and even though Lance knew he was probably asleep, he really needed to be alone right now.
Lance had always been sure he was straight. And while he didn’t hate gay people or think they shouldn’t be together or anything, he had always been disgusted at the idea of him being anything but straight. He had heard some of the other kids in his class make fun of gay people, and he hated the thought of those jokes being about him.
Yet his mind wandered back to the thought of Keith’s loving gaze, his arms around his body, the taste of his kiss...
Lance pulled his knees up to his chin and buried his face in them, squeezing his arms tightly around his body. Tears stung his eyes as he choked out a sob, feeling more confused than ever.