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Alec slid into the cab bonelessly and gave a friendly wave goodbye to Underhill. Nice guy, Underhill, he thought to himself. Alec was happy to have him at the institute. Alec yawned hugely. By the angel, he was tired.
“Where to?” came a voice from the front, and Alec squinted, and saw the back of a balding head, and bespeckled eyes met his in the rearview mirror. He opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again as it occurred to him that he didn’t know. Huh. Where the fuck am I supposed to go? Did he risk going back to the institute and running into someone in his inebriated state? Did he go to Magnus’ and find out if he really had a late client, or if he was just home, enjoying his time away from his childish boyfriend?
Decisions, decisions .
Ah, what the hell, he decided, rattling off the address to the loft. If Magnus was home, avoiding him, then Alec would just have to take it like the Shadowhunter he was and be strong and stoic. That's how he was supposed to behave, wasn't it? It would help, however, if he wasn’t wiping away tears from his eyes.
Fucking gin. With your stupid ability to lower inhibitions.
“We’re here,” the driver said gruffly.
“My hot warlock boyfriend lives here.”
And leave you with no filter, apparently.
“Sure kid,” the man said as Alec managed to pay him and remember to tip. He tripped out of the car but stayed upright as he approached Magnus' building. He stood in front of it, looking up, not realizing he was swaying in place. He lost a little track of time.
“What do I do?” he muttered to himself. “Eenie meenie miney-”
“Alexander?”
Alec flushed, feeling like a teenager in one of those silly mundane movies, staring longingly at their crush’s window, only to be caught. He turned around, a little less steady than usual and huffed out a laugh as Clary stood beside him.
“This is perfect,” Alec says mostly to himself. Just what he wanted. An audience.
“I didn’t expect you back so soon, why didn’t you just go on upstairs?” Magnus’ voice was smooth, with that warm yet distant tone he’d had over the past few days.
“Alec, we need to get everybody back to the institute, sooner rather than later,” Clary paused and gave him a slow once over. When Alec mimicked her exaggeratedly, he heard a soft intake of breath from Magnus.
“Alexander...are you drunk?”
“Hmm. Maybe? Why? I’m an adult. Adults...drink,” Alec raised his brow in an attempt to appear haughty but feared he probably just looked surprised.
“Let’s go upstairs, “ Magnus said coming forward and placing a guiding hand on the small of Alec’s back.
“Magnus, we don’t have time-” Clary started urgently, but before Alec could even ask, Magnus spoke again.
“You go on ahead, then, Biscuit. I’ll inform Alexander of what’s going on and we’ll be along shortly,”
“Okay, just, please. We need to come up with a plan, quickly,” Clary said, before taking off.
Alec wanted to know what was going on, he truly did. He cared about the institute, and all of the people he was responsible for, he honestly, honestly did. But he was just so damn tired .
They made their way quietly to the loft, Alec ambling alongside Magnus wondering what the hell the immortal love of his life was thinking. Magnus sat him down on the couch, conjuring a cup of coffee that Alec knew would be made just to his liking, and sat down next to him with his own, angling their knees together.
“Darling, why didn’t you come upstairs? How long were you standing out there?” Warm brown eyes shining with concern searched his face and Alec found himself shrugging.
“I didn’t know if you’d want me to. Didn’t wanna find out if you lied about having a client to get outta seein’ me,” his words slurred just a little bit, and he had to bite back a yawn. “You could've just said, you know. You didn’t have to make something up and then go hang out with Clary.”
“Is that what you think I did?” the words were soft and Alec could hear the sadness in them and he sighed.
“Didn’t you? It’s okay, it’s okay,” Alec waved his words away vigorously, “cuz I was reminded of something tonight. About the difference between us," Alec gestured between them, accidentally smacking Magnus in the arm, "Underhill said-”
“Who’s Underhill?” Magnus interrupted with a cock of his head. Alec found himself grinning.
“You’re adorable when you do that,” Alec said, smiling dopily and saw Magnus’ eyes soften, his glamour flickering, before regaining control.
“Alexander, who is Underhill?”
“New guy. He’s really nice. He came by the office the other day to thank me for being gay,” Alec said, taking a sip of his coffee as Magnus choked on his own.
“I’m sorry? He what now?”
Alec looked at him quizzically. He thought he’d been pretty clear. “He thanked me for, you know. Coming out. Because he’s had to hide for a long time, so when I came out, he was able to as well.”
Magnus lips curved up and he reached to out cup Alec’s cheek. Alec leaned into his palm greedily, relishing in the press of Magnus’ talented fingers against his face.
“I’ll always be so proud of you for that. Now, not that I’m not interested in what the grateful Mr. Underhill said to you, but I need you to focus because there is something important I have to talk to you about,” Magnus said solemnly and Alec sucked in a breath blowing it out steady, as dread pooled in his stomach.
“It’s rude to break up with someone when they’re intoxicated, Magnus. I could wake up with no memory of this conversation and have to have my heart broken twice,” Alec said, wishing he had passed out already, just so he could have avoided this discussion.
Magnus rolled his eyes which had Alec huffing indignantly. “I’m not breaking up with you, Alec,”
“You’re not?"
"Of course not," Magnus said vehemently and Alec felt some of the tightness in his chest loosen.
"Good, because Underhill reminded me of something tonight, and I really need you to know that you’re wrong. Like, really wrong.” Magnus raised an unimpressed brow at him and Alec almost laughed.
“About what, pray tell?”
“About the experience thing, I mean. About me only ever being with you. It’s not lack of relationship experience that’s the issue. I was right. It’s definitely the immortality thing. You see,” Alec said slowly, leaning in even closer, speaking clearly so Magnus would understand, “we’re different.”
“So you've said,” Magnus’ voice held a hint of amusement, “enlighten me on how we’re different.”
“Shadowhunters are like...wolves.”
“Shadowhunters are like wolves,” Magnus repeated, his tone dry as dust.
Alec furrowed his brow, “Was that a question?” he shook his head. “Nevermind. Yes, wolves. Not werewolves,” Alec clarified as Magnus continued to look at him, bemused. “Okay, you see, it’s like this. Wolves mate for a life. And Nephilim, we only love once in our lifetime. Like, one great true love in our lives. Do you get what I’m saying?" Alec studied Magnus' face to see if he was comprehending. "You say it's only been two months, but I'm a Shadowhunter. It... it doesn't really apply. There won't be anyone else for me like there will for you. You’re like… you’re like my wolf,” Alec smiled as Magnus started to chuckle softly. “So, see, the problem with that is, you’re my wolf, but I’m just...I’m just your chicken. Or lioness or whatever. Someday someone, some other immortal, is going to get to be your wolf and I just wish we could be… wolves together.”
Alec watched the bob of Magnus’ Adam’s apple as he swallowed and sighed as the sight distracted him. He loved kissing that spot on Magnus, had developed what he supposed was a little kink. Alec shook his head. Focus, he told himself and when he met his loves gaze again, he was surprised to see that Magnus’ eyes had lost their glamour and were bright with unshed tears. Alec worried about what he had said wrong.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” Alec asked, reaching out to cup the back of Magnus' neck, massaging his nape.
Magnus let out a shaky laugh, “Nothing. It’s just that only you, my dear Alexander, could be completely annihilated and still say one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard.”
Alec felt his lip turn up at the corner. “I wasn’t trying to be romantic,” he said, feeling it was safe enough to lean in and steal a chaste kiss.
“And that is part of why it was,” Magnus said as their lips broke apart. “For the record, Alexander, you’re my wolf too.”
Alec smiled widely at that. “Yeah? Then maybe we should start looking at some alternatives to adding to my lifespan,’ Alec said pointedly and Magnus leaned forward pressing his forehead to Alec’s.
“That is a conversation for another day, my love. But for right now, I need to sober you the rest of the way up,” Magnus said, blue magic dancing upon his fingers and ghosting them across his brow.
Alec felt the cool spark that was Magnus' magic as it coursed through his veins. The fog was lifting and Alec began to blush as the reality of his behavior set in, but Magnus was still looking at him fondly, so he supposed it was okay.
“Alright, Magnus,” Alec said as the warlock laced their palms and looked at him intently. “What’s going on?”
Magnus nodded as though gearing himself up to speak. “We need to talk about Jace, Alexander.”
The end