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Bellamy stands at the window, his head rested against the cold metal frame, his arms crossed. It's been a week since they've made it to the ring. A week of continuously flipping through radio channels in hopes that she will answer. A part of him still expects to wake up and find her here with them. He's never met the Clarke who wasn't running around and keeping everyone alive, and he wonders what she would be like. Would they still be the same? Or was fighting wars the only thing that kept them close?
Bellamy sighs, his eyes out of focus and unblinking. He's unsure how long he's been standing there. His whole body is numb.
There's a shuffling next to him, and the sound of a throat being cleared.
Bellamy lifts his head off the frame and turns his stiff neck. Monty is looking down at Earth now, his eyes seemingly glossy and sad. Bellamy looks away, back out the window.
"We'll get through this," Monty says, now looking at the side of Bellamy's face. He hasn't seen this man look so down, so broken, so... Destroyed.
Bellamy nods. There's a moment of silence.
"You loved her."
This catches his attention. He looks over at Monty, his eyebrows creased. He didn't expect him to say anything more. These days no one has much to talk about.
Monty holds up a hand, anticipating Bellamy's response.
"And don't say you didn't."
Bellamy looks to the ground, swallowing his words.
"You're not the only one who's lost someone you love, you know. Raven lost Finn... Jasper lost Maya... I lost Jasper."
Of course Bellamy was aware of that, but hearing the pain behind Monty's words makes him realize that what he's feeling is felt by everyone everyday. He's only known Clarke for a few months... But Jasper. Monty has known him since forever.
"How do you do it?" Bellamy asks, choking a little.
Monty shrugs, looking out the window.
"Because I have to. Because Jasper would want me to keep going. I could fall apart and throw my life away, or I could live and carry him with me forever."
Bellamy watches Monty as he talks, taking in every word.
"Before the 100 was sent down, and before Jasper and I got locked up, we would sit at a window like this. Just... Looking at Earth. This one time he asked me what I thought it's like down there and my answer was "beautiful. Maybe we'll get to see it one day.""
Monty's eyes water intensely now, his gaze resting on the black space between the window frame and Earth.
Bellamy feels sympathy for Monty. He almost reaches out and hugs him, until Monty turns to Bellamy.
"Clarke would want you to keep going, Bellamy. I didn't know her that well, but if I had to guess what she'd say to you right now it would be something like... you did what you had to. Don't feel bad."
Bellamy bites lip, nodding slowly. It's sounds like a Clarke thing to say.
Neither of them make a sound for a long time. Then, Monty takes hold of Bellamy, squeezing him in a hug. At first Bellamy is still, but eventually he accepts it- returning the squeeze.
It isn't Clarke, but it's the best he's got.