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The night started fairly simple, just two insanely famous guys finally catching a break with their other nine, equally as known, friends in the living room, eating fried chicken and not having to worry about tomorrow's schedule, or the week's schedule, for that matter.
It was all going well: Daniel challenged Jihoon to down two beers in one sitting, something about finally being able to do that now that he's of age and, you know, Jihoon has a backbone and he was not giving it―wasn't going to―until Woojin started calling him chicken and the rest of the babies did too. Terrible, because Jihoon has a reputation to hold, so he did it and is currently in the bathroom crying his woes and trying to identify what the regurgitated chicken on the toilet looks like (“Shit,” he giggles and goes at it again, making Jisung groan and practically kill Daniel with a glance).
Then Guanlin suggested a game he saw online: coming up with a presentation on whatever subject on the spot, and defending said presentation. To be fair, Wanna One has competitiveness somewhere in their DNA and it takes up most of it, so of course they all agreed to it. Jaehwan was bluffing about how his topic was the best and then a rule came up: no rated things, because it was six in the afternoon and there were underage kids present (“I just wanted everyone to know the importance of the porn industry,” he defended, quickly deleting the text in his phone. “But go off, I guess.”). Daehwi promised his would be the best, actually, to which Woojin scoffed and no one really knew―no one knows still―what they were going to do, but it promised to be entertaining.
Minhyun, though, he knew exactly what he wanted to do after taking a fleeting look at Seongwu, who had also been staring at him and then tried playing it off as zoning out, trying to come up with a topic strong enough to leave an impact. “Would 'Doctor Strange: The Best Marvel Superhero' be controversial enough?” he'd asked, to which Jinyoung replied with an obnoxious duh and said something about Iron Man being better. “Then I'll talk about Doctor Strange and shut that asshole mouth of yours, kid.”
He didn't know about Marvel and controversies and strange doctors and men of iron, but he knew his topic would be the winning one―even if Guanlin's Orcas: the Misunderstood Goth Children of the Sea seemed threatening enough―because it would be nothing but the truth.
“Make way, your Master is here,” he demands, obnoxiously, as he opens his PowerPoint presentation on the big screen of their television. Minhyun really appreciates their fans―they wouldn't have food on their plates if it weren't for them, after all―but these crazy expensive gifts are a bit useless – when are they ever home to enjoy it.
A collective groan and two squeals (courtesy of Sungwoon and Daehwi) are heard when the screen becomes one giant rainbow, PNG pictures of Sam Smith, Ellen DeGeneres, Holland (whom Minhyun has sworn to protect, even if the guy doesn't know him but, you know, gay solidarity and all that), Kim Junsu and Kang Haneul (these two mainly because they're nice to look at) flashing at random spots and one big 'GAYS: The Science of Us and Ong Seongwu' spinning at the very center, before a backstage picture of Seongwu makes its appearance and all the other PNGs vanish―except for Junsu. Minhyun loves Junsu.
“This one,” Minhyun begins, taking the random rabbit ear antenna that Woojin offers him and no one has the slightest idea where he got it from and points it at the screen. “Is for the gays, the bi fellas and Ong Seongwu, because we have no idea where he falls under.”
Jisung apparently incorporated back recently, a flushed Jihoon knocked out on the couch, and so his silent “amen” gets overpowered by Seongwu's, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, melon head?”
As per usual, Minhyun ignores him. “As we all know, there's is quite the discourse from hetties―”
“That's rude and heterophobic,” Seongwu grumbles under his breath, frowning up at Minhyun. If the guy wasn't so cute and Minhyun didn't have the constant need to snuggle him, he would've gotten his ass kicked a long time ago. Someone, probably Sungwoon or Woojin, mutters an “oh Jesus” to his words.
“Hetties,” Minhyun asserts, “that gay people are greedy. And they also get offended when we tell them the truth: nobody is 100% straight. That's been scientifically proven―”
“Uh, on girls,” Seongwu interrupts once again.
“And on boys too, sweetie, keep up,” Jisung quickly says without looking up from his phone, no doubt searching for the topic he will talk about. That man, honestly, always so responsible and ready to be part of the fun―Minhyun loves him like a grandson loves his grandfather.
“Thank you,” smiles Minhyun, rather petulantly. “So, today, I come to you with an even more accurate calculation, not only to remind myself that I am lucky enough to be surrounded by fellow gays but also to prove a point to―” He points the antenna to Seongwu dismissively, “Hetty dearest over here.”
Honestly, he's doing this out of fun―and maybe a little bit out of frustration and desperation: Seongwu is rather oblivious, even when he's good at reading people, he sort of sucks at reading himself. They are almost around the one year mark of being together as a group, and even further into the one year mark of knowing each other, and in those three-hundred-sixty-something days, Minhyun hasn't failed to notice certain things about Seongwu. Granted, it could be an unknown, delusional part of him making him see things where there is nothing, but Minhyun trusts his senses.
He begins to unravel: “According to scientific researches, a certain percentage of the world's population isn't entirely straight,” and he makes sure to make quotation marks with his fingers as he utters the last word. “At least, a good 10% of the world is as gay as they come. But, honestly, who knows how big that number actually is? You have guys like Seongwu,” who, by the way, gasps and gapes and blushes a little at the unmade insinuation, because he knows it's coming, “that swear up and down they would die for boobs―but is it really just for boobs? Hmm, I think I'm onto something here.”
Minhyun thinks he has been onto something for the past seven months, eyes never failing to catch Seongwu's blatant stares that quickly disappear when he gets caught, especially when they wander over Minhyun's face like Minhyun doesn't have a pair of eyeballs of his own to see. And no one can deny the way Seongwu just lingers next to Minhyun all the time, every time―though, at first, Minhyun gave it to the fact that their personalities match quite well and they're of the same age, a couple of week barely distancing their birthdays, but he learned better, because Seongwu likes being with everyone, especially Sungwoon and Daniel and Woojin and Guanlin, but he only stands with barely a hair's breadth between his body and somebody's when it's Minhyun. And Minhyun likes fooling himself, not getting his heart broken, so he thinks that says something.
“Ooh,” Daniel giggles behind Seongwu, lightly kicking him with his sock-covered foot, “Hyung, he's coming for you~”
Seongwu scoffs at that, sending Minhyun a challenging look. “Hit me with your best shot, twink.”
Minhyun smirks, “Thank you. For instance, a heterosexual man that refers to another man as twink?” He makes a teasing sound and ends with a confused hissing, “I don't know what that means. What do you think young grasshopper?”
Jinyoung stares at Minhyun and very seriously responds with, “I think that would be very gay of said man, Teacher.”
“You guys―” Seongwu goes to say, but Minhyun interjects by following his speech.
“Then, when a presumably heterosexual man―a famous one, let's say―gets flustered by fanboys the exact, same way he does with fangirls… what does that tell you? Let our newest addition reply,” he nods at Jaehwan. “Come on, Baby Bi, tell us.”
Jaehwan tilts his head to the side and frowns, faking to be deep in thought. He hisses, “I don't know, may I ask for second opinions?”
“Go ahead.”
“Hey, Daniel, fellow Bi, psst,” Jaehwan tugs at Daniel. “What do we think?” The scene is funny: Jaehwan and Daniel shout-whispering between each other about Seongwu, right behind Seongwu, who looks exasperated and ready to put someone in a chokehold.
After a very short while, they break. “So, have you come to a conclusion?” Minhyun asks; they nod.
It's Daniel who replies, though. “We came to the decision that that, too, is very gay for a het man.”
“Very well, very well,” he taunts, walking from left to right to left, a playful quirk to them. He hears Seongwu groan. “And when said hetero man admits to wanting to kiss another man, what's that?”
All hands shoot up in the air, everyone excited to answer but Minhyun's eyes are focused on just Seongwu. “Wanna explain yourself and see if you can get yourself out of that one?”
Seongwu sighs tiredly, “I was drunk and needy and―”
“Ah, ah,” Guanlin shouts. “Hyung, but I read somewhere―on this very nice and trustable website, Tumblr―that drunken words are sober thoughts? Was it―am I being lied to?”
“Kid has a point,” Minhyun walks closer to Guanlin and pats him on the head softly, but he makes a mental reminder to tell him later that alcohol isn't some sort of truth serum, which is probably what he thinks it is, “So, Seongwu?”
Again, he sighs and rolls his eyes, like he's given up. “Yes, that was very gay of me.” The room cheers, even Jihoon, awoken by the loudness, drunkenly goes “yay-hey!” before falling unconscious again, Jisung making sure to turn him on his side in case he feels like throwing up again.
“But,” Seongwu speaks again, “It doesn't mean anything? There's a fair share of people with a habit like this when they get drunk. If a gay man suddenly wants to kiss a girl when he's drunk, does that mean he's straight? I feel like there are some double-standard―favoritism―to your logics, Hwang Minhyun.”
Minhyun isn't pushing him out of the closet―that's the last thing he'd do―but it's getting tiring, seeing Seongwu lie to himself like that because he knows what that's like. It's not always happy once you admit to yourself that, hey, now you can get ostracized, fun times! But it does end up bringing some sense of comfort, of serenity, at least that's what Minhyun thinks. And he's seen Seongwu. And he's wanted to hold Seongwu. And he knows the reason why Seongwu's hands turn into fists when they walk side by side, barely centimeters apart and hands brushing against each other.
There's a lot of sixteen-year-old Minhyun in twenty-two-year-old Seongwu, and he wouldn't wish that upon anybody.
So he tries again.
“Look,” says Minhyun, pointing at the TV screen with the broken antenna. Seongwu looks wide eyed at him, all of his attention focusing on his every move. “It's been scientifically proven that 10% of the world population is gay―and you have a crush on me.”
Seongwu quirks an eyebrow at Minhyun, “You're out of your mind. Did you drink something? You know you can't hold your liquor.”
Eye-rolls are starting to hurt and Minhyun wonders if it has something to do with age―come to think of it, he doesn't see adults rolling their eyes that much, but adolescents? Hoo, he's lost count of how many times Jinyoung rolls his eyes at him. There's a certain tension in the air, you'd have to be a fool―or a drunken dumbass like Jihoon―to not notice it.
“I'll prove it to you. All of it.” Someone gasps at Minhyun's words, probably Jisung, and Jinyoung's distinctive voice can he heard saying “holy shit”―he's gonna get an earful from Minhyun for that one later―but it's Daehwi's, “I fucking lost this game. Who can top―” he gestures wildly between Minhyun and Seongwu, like he's alluding the intense eye contact that's being shared, “―all that?”
(Jinyoung gets more than an earful after he says, “I think Seongwu hyung's topping in the near future.”)
. . .
Minhyun doesn't want it to be too “in your face”, the first move. He wants it to be as casual as possible, almost like dropping a needle in the quietest room in the world by accident; something so unexpected it's painful yet at the same time something to think of, something to be thankful for.
So he decides on waiting until their break is over, until they're back to uncomfortably small vans and the watchful eyes of millions and Seongwu doesn't have time to notice what his words mean until he gets three minutes of rest between makeup and hair. Sounds smart and foolproof.
They spend time together like nothing's happened at all, like Minhyun didn't promise to everyone―Seongwu, Jisung, Guanlin, Unconscious Jihoon―that he will make the gay come out of Seongwu (which is, by the way, a very funny way of phrasing it). They still have lunch dates throughout the week and binge watch whatever sappy drama they can with Sungwoon at night, forgoing getting back those hours of sleep they didn't get the past months.
Currently, it's just the two of them on their bellies, in Minhyun's bed, faces supported by their own hands and eyes stuck to the flashy screen. They're watching Doctor Strange, and Minhyun wonders if Seongwu has always been this obsessed with the superhero or if it's a recent development―he'll have to ask when the movie's over, though, because Seongwu looks so into it even when he made a quick comment about how he's watched it six times already―seven, with this.
The bald lady is doing flashy things with her hands when Seongwu speaks up, “Saw you were a fan of Iron Man or something,” he mumbles. “This is my way of taking your head out of your ass and showing you how wonderful this man is. Next, I'll show you Thor.”
Minhyun laughs, “Is it that important to you?” which makes Seongwu look at him with those wide eyes and eager smile, nodding just as eagerly, too. The light of the laptop reflects on Seongwu's face and Minhyun remembers the challenge just in time, right before he can shut down his brains―his thoughts―and lean in like everything is the way he wants.
He blinks when Seongwu snaps him out of his thoughts, harshly pressing the space bar and successfully stopping the movie. “Well, yeah. Jinyoung gives me shit all the time―Tony Stark this, Tony Stark that―and Daniel too, even when I trusted him! Like, yes, Iron Man is cool and Tony is a brainiac, but you know who else is super cool and super smart too? Hulk! And what does he get? Shit―no, not even shit, he gets nothing! If I asked you to name the Avengers you'd name him, Hawkeye and Thor or Black Widow last. And I think that's unfair because―”
“Why did you stop?” Minhyun asks a little surprised when the current of words stops.
Seongwu squints at him and somehow manages to point his finger at Minhyun's face. “Are you laughing at me? You're laughing at me. I see right through that smile, you jerk.”
What smile? He wants to ask, but that would be pretty dumb – why wouldn't he smile at Seongwu when he's like this, all passionate about something so childish and pure? Quickly, he shakes his head, aware that the smile lingers on his lips but he can't help it. “Am not, I promise it; I'm actually very happy to know about, um, the marginalization of such important Avengers.”
“Now you're making fun of me, but that's alright, you know?” Seongwu grumbles, going to press play again. “It's all good because you like your dumb robots and wanna fuck Optimus Pri―ahhhhh, you beast, get off of me!”
Minhyun really wasn't planning on tackling Seongwu with all of his love and affection (metaphorically speaking. What really transpired is, he just pushed him to the side and threw himself onto him), yet Seongwu's little frown and pout―a man is fairly weak to those.
“Leave Optimus Prime out of this, he is a nice, hardworking man!” He giggles over Seongwu's continuous cries of surrender.
Seongwu wheezes, “I'm sorry, I apologize! I'm sure Vision has invited Sir Optimus Prime for tea and they talk about mechanics and car oil and the inflation of prices―please!”
“You know what,” Seongwu asks, a little out of breath and pointing a finger at Minhyun again when he can finally see him―after getting his bangs out of his eyes that is. “I think―here's what I think―I think your big head actually makes you weight more than you would if you had a normal hea―DON'T YOU DARE JUMP ON M―hmmppph. Guanlin, help, I am being suffocated!!!”
. . .
Here are some facts―about Minhyun, about life, about Seongwu, about the leaking pipe under the sink:
(No specific order)
- It happened suddenly. One day everything was alright and then― boom! It was everywhere! Minhyun can't shower properly without thinking about it―it basically follows him everywhere, that constant thought that something's not quite right and he doesn't feel okay.
- He has an older sister. Very lovely, both of them. Could talk to them for hours and yet only one of them would notice the twinkle in his eyes, what a shame.
- Life's rough because of #1―ever since the pipe under the bathroom sink fucking snapped, nothing's been the same.
- Minhyun found out a few days ago that the resolution of an iPhone is no joke―Seongwu's sister even texted him! It went something along the lines of “so I see you have the hots for my brother huh” (which later she corrected with “the softs* for my bro. ur so cute and gay hwang minhyun. do something about it”).
. . .
It's not until two weeks after the challenge was set that Minhyun begins. They're waiting backstage for the staff to call them out to where the MCs await them―they are so have a special song out soon, to go with the autumn-y vibes of this time of the year, and so they have schedules piled upon schedules from now on, not counting the hours of practice and recording the last bits of the song.
Currently, Minhyun is sitting on the couch with a heavy Woojin leaning on him from his left side and a slightly less heavy Jinyoung on his right side; Jihoon has somehow found his way to lie across their laps. “Seongwu's gonna get jealous that you two―” he pinches Woojin's cheek the best he can and nods at Jihoon, “―are with me and not with him.”
Woojin technically isn't even with them, he's busy playing around in his phone―or maybe answering texts from his school friends and family; he did say his sister's birthday was soon. “He has Guanlin to entertain him.”
“He's scared of me,” says Jihoon, sighing and closing his eyes. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you, hyung.”
Jinyoung suddenly raises his head from Minhyun's shoulder and looks at him wide-eyed, like he had a startling realization. “That's right!”
Minhyun quirks one of his eyebrows―it's not really his eyebrow, just the perfected art of doing makeup, but it is his. “What is it?”
“So, this… thing you have going on with Ong hyung―this bet, challenge, game, uhhh, whatever: When are you going to start? And how,”
To say Minhyun isn't a little scared by the amount of interest Jihoon shows would be a lie, so he deflects. “How do you even know about it? You were dead on the couch and too drunk to understand anything.”
Jihoon nods at Woojin and Jinyoung, saying, “Blabbermouth number two and four,” respectively.
“Who are one and three?”
“Daehwi and Guanlin, duh,” Jihoon waves a hand in the air, “Enough of changing the topic. So…?”
“Why do you want to know, hmm?”
It's Jinyoung who speaks, “We have some bets going on with each other.” When Minhyun's eyes grow about three sizes and he can see the veins thumping on his neck, Jinyoung hurries to clarify, “It's not something bad, we just―you know―will Seongwu hyung accept shhhhtuff―” (“Nice safe,” “Leave him alone, Jihoon.” “Bite me, lesser Park.”) “―by himself or will it really take you all kinds of flirting for him to do it? There's also one for how long it'll take, but we have to settle it properly.”
“Well,” Minhyun exhales, heavily letting his hands fall on Woojin's and Jinyoung's thighs, Jihoon receiving an accidental scratch from Minhyun's short nails on his arm. “Since you guys are sooo curious, I'll tell you that it'll happen soon. Sooner than you think. Maybe.”
“You know I love and respect you, right, hyung?” Woojin asks seriously all of a sudden.
Minhyun changes his face from teasing to just as serious, “Of course, Jin.”
“Don't be offended by me telling you to GO FUCK YOURSELF!” He all but pushes Jihoon's legs from his lap and stands up to find other people to ignore, like Jaehwan and Jisung. Minhyun doesn't even take offense.
Jihoon decides to follow Woojin, his butt hurting Minhyun's knees when he sits up. “Yeah, what he said,” and he goes away.
“So it's only you who remains, huh,” he says softly to Jinyoung, who just snuggles up to him and takes Minhyun's hand before placing it on his product-free hair.
Jinyoung hums. “Pet me so I can sleep.”
And it's like that for a good minute before one of the stylists tells Minhyun to wake Jinyoung up because he does need to get his hair done and he's the last one. There's only ten minutes left, according to his mediocre calculations, so he hurries Jinyoung up and to his chair. Then he's alone.
Or he is, until Seongwu walks by with his phone in his hands, giggling and saying something about showing it to Daehwi. All Minhyun had to do to get Ong Seongwu to fall rather ungracefully next to him on the couch was to reach out and tug at his arm.
Seongwu frowns at him. “What do you want, melon head?”
Minhyun pouts and wraps his hands around Seongwu's arm, not too tight but he still wouldn't be able to easily get up if he wanted to. “'M lonely, my kids left me.”
To that, Seongwu scoffs. “Um, it was my kid, my kid's demonic companion and your kid. Check yourself.”
“All right, whatever you say, Ong.” He scoots closer to Seongwu and rests his head on his shoulder, pout literally a mere centimeter away from Seongwu's jaw―he's aware that his ears are turning red and the back of his neck is sweating cold, but he doesn't care as long as Seongwu isn't uncomfortable and, by the looks of it, the guy is more composed than Minhyun had given him credit for (or wanted him to be).
“You're annoyingly clingy, you know that?” But Seongwu's words don't mean much when he frees his arm from Minhyun's grip and circles Minhyun's shoulders with it just to bring him even closer, so close that Minhyun quickly sets his lips in a firm line―it later dissolves in an enamored smile―because he can't risk it, whatever it might be.
Instead, Minhyun moves his hands from his lap to Seongwu's middle and he's very aware of what this looks like―of what it is―and can only wonder if Seongwu is aware too. So with an obnoxious smile he whispers in Seongwu's ear, “This is incredibly gay of you.”
Seongwu groans like he's in pain and throws his head back, making Minhyun laugh at him. “Friends do this, you know? Jisung and Jaehwan always do this and Jisung wouldn't kiss Jaehwan on the mouth even if it meant saving his own life.”
A point was made, perhaps, but Minhyun is stubborn and he enjoys pushing Seongwu’s buttons. “True, but they're both clingy, too. You, on the other hand―no, you're right, you're clingy too. Either way, this is gay because I say so.”
Maybe it sounds ridiculous or Seongwu really found it funny because he laughs shortly, like he's out of breath to make any other sound, and it's very―he's so cute. Minhyun might die. Like, seriously, Seongwu is so cute, there's no way he lives like this. But he does. Because Minhyun lives with Seongwu and he's seen him and he's always cute even when he doesn't intend being cute and when he scolds the maknaes―and the nine-six duo―and when he's confused, too. He's always, always cute.
They stay that way until the door opens and a lady is calling them to take their standby positions, but when they rise, Seongwu lets Minhyun walk in front of him before clamping his shoulders with both of his hands like some sort of two-man-train.
“Who's going to explain the song?” Seongwu asks right next to Minhyun's ear, causing him to shiver and jolt at the suddenness.
“I don't know, I think it's Daehwi or Sungwoon―or literally anyone but you.”
Seongwu lets out a whistle. “Oof, thank god 'cos I don't even remember what we sing about, chief.”
“You're so… ugh.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Perhaps it's because, despite the break they had, he's still exhausted or because things on the other side of the camera usually move faster after a while, but they're greeting the audience and the MCs in what seems to be the blink of an eye and Woojin is helping Guanlin explain what their song is about with a cute, funny way of complementing the younger's words with short comments and quick nods of the head.
Then one of the hosts is making the infamous comment, “Wanna One was formed through a survival show,” so they all nod, not as enthusiastically as they used to because now they know what these words are usually followed with―it's not nice to hear. But it takes a while before the MC delivers the rest, the question, since he starts talking about how it must have been difficult to go from practically strangers to being members of the same group―ESPECIALLY (he makes an incredible emphasis on the word, sending Jisung's hand to fly to the left side of his chest) since they were trained to see each other as competition.
Well, it was tougher than what it might have seemed to those on the outside looking in. Minhyun recalls the awkwardness that existed in Justice League when they first got together―it was latent and not even Minhyun himself had the courage to break the ice, too afraid of saying the wrong thing or making himself look like someone he's not. They worked through it, though, taking bricks out of the walls each of them had built for the competition, except Seongwu's wall seemed to be too sturdy and well-built, just like Jonghyun's and Dongho's (and Minhyun would be a hypocrite if he didn't mention himself, too. Minki was the only one brave enough to go in with his soul bare for everyone to see).
He also remembers staring at ten other faces the day of the finale―after the finale―finding himself to be as wary and uncomfortable and awkward as he did on the first days, with Justice League. They were all either too different or too alike, and maybe some didn't fit anyone, so he just knew it would be a long way to go before they could cohere into one solid, lovable group of friends (back then, Minhyun hadn't even exchanged more than four words with Jihoon and he could barely recall the three conversations he'd held with Jisung before).
They didn't have the time to bond before they were thrown into one dorm together, told their expected schedules and were wished a goodnight after spending a day with their families. Misunderstandings happened and the usual immaturity came in between more than once, too. It took a while before each of them could remember ten different ice cream flavors and learn that no one “owned” a pair of socks―socks are a collective item and Minhyun is sure Sungwoon wears his to sleep.
Before Minhyun―and any of the other guys―had the time to go in deeper into their memories, the host finally asked the question, except it wasn't the one any of them had expected. “So, I'm sure all of you had first impressions of each other,” they nod. “Who do you think is the most different from what you originally thought of them?”
They exchange looks, as if they were trying to remember the past versions of each other―the ones they didn't like because they were too intimidating, too closed-off, too nosy―trying to see past who they really are and meet eyes with the protective shield they once held.
“Honestly,” there's a hint of cheekiness to Sungwoon's words as he side eyes their maknaes, “I thought those were really respectful, so well behaved and nice…” He shakes his head like he's disappointed, causing everyone to laugh a little.
The host asks, “And they're not?”
Sungwoon makes a hissing sound, “I don't know about that, really―they treat me like I'm their friend and Jihoon even bullies me.”
Daehwi defends the statement by saying it's because they love him and feel comfortable enough with him, while a very flustered Jihoon shakes his hands and tries to clear his name but by now everyone knows the hyungs are little lambs shaking in Big Bad Wolf Jihoon's palm.
Daniel speaks up, “For me, I think I'd have to say Jaehwanie and Minhyunie hyung.”
“Me?” Jaehwan questions with wide eyes, which Minhyun imitates, looking at Daniel for further explanations.
“Minhyun hyung had this cold look to him the first time I saw him, and he's really good looking too; he felt like a cold city boy,” Daniel makes cute expressions when he talks, Seongwu once pointed out to him, looking adoringly at the boy before proceeding to scold his ear off for leaving his sweaty shirts on the bathroom floor. “But I've learned that he's really clingy―” most of the guys make sounds of agreement, sending a wave of embarrassment to Minhyun, “―and really sweet too. He's like a fairy godmother.”
That's a weird thing to say, Minhyun thinks but can't help but reason that it fits him well, somehow. He sends a kiss Daniel's way and makes finger guns at Jisung, “I'm part of fairy line now.”
Jisung fights back with a, “No, we accepted Seongwu recently. The club's full. Try again later.”
Then Daniel says that Jaehwan looked really cold at the beginning too, like he knew too much to hang out with him, which Minhyun has to painfully agree with―they were so dumb. “Now I see he's like my soulmate!” Daniel laughs, finishing.
“They share one brain,” Jinyoung says absentmindedly while nodding, and maybe he hadn't meant to say it out loud but he did and now everyone's laughing really hard and he's using Guanlin as a shield when Jaehwan reaches out to pinch his cheeks as punishment.
“You guys are a very interesting group,” the host comments then hints that the segment is almost done by asking, “Anyone else?”
Minhyun jumps in. “I think Seongwu is the most different from what I thought.”
Seongwu keeps on trying to control his laugh but manages to pay attention to him, just like everyone else is. “I see why,” the host agrees, to which Seongwu quirks an eyebrow and makes a funny face when the camera focuses on him.
“At first, he looks really arrogant―he was so sure of himself when we were all dying of nerves but he knew what he was doing. He wouldn't look your way for more than two seconds and didn't seem like he paid much attention to you if you were talking to him,” he says. Seongwu is blushing by now, an abashed smile on his lips. “I think people still see him this way, too, mostly because he has a really sharp face that can be quite intimidating if you don't know him well…”
And Minhyun thinks he does. There's a big gap between the Seongwu he met, almost mid-2017, and the Seongwu that is three seats away from him―but there isn't a gap between this Seongwu and this Minhyun; breaking walls down is quite the job when you're barehanded, nothing to help you with, but Minhyun did a pretty good job if he does say so himself. (And he does, he really, really does as he remembers Seongwu running to him when he needed to catch a break and be held).
The atmosphere is nice and friendly, but Minhyun feels choked up with all the emotions. That is one of his best friends he's looking at―one of his best friends that's looking at him―and he loves him, god, so much. So he puts on his cheesiest, most teasing smile and finishes by saying, “Now I know he's not like that. He's sweet and cute,” and blowing a kiss at Seongwu.
That's what was needed to send the girls in the audience into a squealing mess, to get the nearest members to playfully hit him and the ones further away to punch the air―and for Seongwu to cover his face with shaking hands, caused by the uncontrollable giggles of embarrassment.
Minhyun has in mind that he can't gush over Seongwu―not in front of Seongwu, at least, and the million cameras focused on him. Still, he ignores his burning ears and neck and reaches out to Seongwu, falling into him as he laughs at him. “See, he's cute.”
The strangled noise Seongwu makes is all it takes to send everyone into another fit of laughter.
. . .
MINHYUN's To-Do List for the Week:
1. Practice new choreography ✓
2. Vacuum his room, the living and remind the rest to do the same with their rooms (and do it if they don't) ⬜
3. Wash Seal #20 before Seongwu realizes it's gone ⬜
4. Keep away from Seongwu's seal collectiong ✓✓✓✓✓
5. Ask Sungwoon to help Jinyoung with his math homework ⬜
6. GROCERY SHOPPING!!!!! (with manager hyungs) ⬜
↪ minhyun pls the kids are dying – yjs
7. Read Strange Tales Vol. 1, Issue #1 (June, 1951) ⬜
And what the FUCK did you do to my baby?
↝ ??????? get out of my to-do list you weirdo???? also ong i'm sorry, your son is fine....
. . .
Dancing has never been something Minhyun imagined himself doing, even when he was younger and much more naïve than what he thinks he was, dreaming of standing next to Kim Junsu on stage and perhaps opening his own agency and reuniting TVXQ as five.
But there he is, panting in front of a wide mirror and wiping his sweat away with a shirt he's sure belongs to Guanlin. His cheeks are burning, his calves and thighs boiling and he wonders what kind of autumn song needs a choreography this strong, but at the same time he understands―they are Wanna One, and things haven't been as easy as they were at the beginning, they sort of just realized they still have to prove themselves to others, so he swallows his internal whining like the hardest pill ever and reaches out to grab at his water bottle.
As per usual, Seongwu is wheezing in the corner―not much to see there, just a man dropping to the slick with sweat floor and staring at the ceiling like he's having an out of body experience, cheeks flushes with exertion and chest heaving up and down with the lack of oxygen he's suffered.
“Man,” he outright pants, “anyone else's ears just pounding like God's playing the drums on our floor or is it just me?”
Minhyun laughs and approaches him, passing him a lukewarm bottle. “Just you, grandpa; you'd think you'd be better at physical activity after this long.”
Seongwu barely sits up to drink, choosing to lean on Minhyun in the end. He shrugs his shoulders, mouth stuck to the bottle and Minhyun notices the way Seongwu's nostrils flare unattractively, but his heart still warms and worries at the sight. “Skipped too many P.E. classes in school, I guess.”
“Were you one of those students that didn't care and did whatever they wanted?” he asks, teasingly.
A smirk comes to Seongwu's face before he ends up snorting at the thought, “No, dude, I was just, like, really bad with my feet. Total klutz. And the teacher sort of hated my guts, so I was doing the both of us a favor.”
Minhyun can picture it, fifteen-eighteen year old Seongwu sneaking out of the locker room to the back of the bleachers or sitting out during the games, faking illness and injuries―milking real, but minor, injuries so he wouldn't have to participate. It somehow looked a lot like the Seongwu sitting next to him today, a little bit more irresponsible.
“One day,” Seongwu starts between deep breaths, “We were playing dodge ball and I'm―just. Like. I sucked a dodging, so I was always getting taken out first. But I vividly remember when one of my friends accidentally sent this cannonball to land on my face―to this day, I swear I saw God. He looked like a She. And she looked a lot like After School's Nana. So maybe, my friend, you have met God.”
Minhyun cringes at the thought and pushes Seongwu back a little, just to see his face better. There are the three little dots on his cheek that he adores so much, placed in such an unusual spot. There's the button nose that he wants to softly poke when Seongwu scrunches it at him, playfully and trying to irritate him. The feline curl permanently etched at both ends of his lips, it's there too. And those big brown eyes so simple yet so beautiful…
“Good thing he didn't do much damage to this work of art, then,” he comments out of nowhere, if only to watch Seongwu's horrified yet flattered reaction, hands coming to hit Minhyun's chest and then to cover his face.
“You're awful,” says Seongwu, the words muffled by his palms. “How can you say such things, oh my god. You really have no shame.” By now, he's hiding in his knees, trying to keep as far from Minhyun as he possibly can without leaving his side.
“You're so cute.”
“Shut UP!”
. . .
Seongwu's showering and Minhyun has claimed his bed, Daniel leaving the room a bit later when he remembered he owed Jihoon a match of―a game Minhyun has never heard of. He's comfy and failing to see why Seongwu was so adamant on him reading Strange Tales (Vol. 1, Issue #1, June, 1951) when the Doctor Strange guy doesn't even appear in it, but he isn't complaining―not that much―because it's fun, and a light read that helps him tire his brain out enough for him to go to bed right after.
He's about to turn the page, a cliffhanger waiting to be solved, when Seongwu enters the room dressed in clothes as comfy as the ones Minhyun's wearing. They sort of match, too, both wearing black hoodies and basketball shorts; if Minhyun forgot enough things, he could pretend they were a couple of normal guys, sharing a house and a room, about to cuddle to sleep placidly.
Seongwu dives rather ungracefully into bed, next to Minhyun, smelling of soap and one of the 2-in-1 shampoos their managers bought for them as a gift. “Have you seen―oh, you're reading it!” It's amusing (and a little endearing, maybe) the way Seongwu's train of thought changes so easily sometimes. “Do you like it?”
Minhyun hums in affirmation. “It's better than I thought. What was it that you were going to ask before?”
“Ah,” he snaps his fingers, “if you've seen my yellow shirt.”
“Mind being a little bit more specific, you have a bunch of those.”
Seongwu frowns, deep in thought, coming up with distinctive features of the shirt. “Well, uhhh, it's yellow?”
“Uh huh,”
“It has a picture in the front―some sort of cartoon―and words in the back.”
Minhyun blinks. “And, uh, does this shirt have a very annoying tag on one side―probably the left side―that makes your skin feel all itchy and stuff?” When Seongwu brightens up at Minhyun's addition and nods his head, they both realize there's something wrong.
Seongwu squints at Minhyun accusatorily. “You're wearing my shirt.”
“I'm wearing your shirt.”
“Dude,” Seongwu whines. “Since when do you have it? I've been looking for it like crazy!”
“Maybe if you did your laundry―”
This time, it's Seongwu the one who's looking at Minhyun so emotionlessly that Minhyun almost feels dumb for saying anything. “Do you really want me near clothes, detergent, water and electricity?” Ah, yeah, he's dumb.
“Not particularly, no,” he puts down the comic softly on the bed; Minhyun is sure it's seen better days, without the dog-eared corners and the perfectly printed pages without the lines from being crumpled by accident scarring the faces of the characters. “What's the big deal?”
In true Seongwu fashion, he pouts and lets his head drop in a dejected manner. He mumbles, “I wanted to wear it tomorrow…”
“Were you planning your outfit in advance?” He cackles, and Jisung yells at him to lower his volume before he marched into the room and beat his ass―little violent but okay. “You never do that.”
“I wanted to change! But the one who should change is you, clearly.” Seongwu tugs at the sleeve of Minhyun's hoodie. “C'mon, take it off, you heathen. You absolute bastard. I give you my Doctor Strange and you give me―you give me… um… treason!”
'You're overreacting,' he wants to say, but he knows Seongwu doesn't do overreactions, he does what he feels in the moment―sometimes he barely reacts to anything, but he's like a little kid, impressed by everything―so Minhyun doesn't say anything and settles for a quick swat at Seongwu's annoying hand. “Stop it,” he demands.
“No, take it off.”
There's a voice in Minhyun's head – it goes “WH-WH-WHA-WHA—” and it sounds bamboozled, and it's quite a shame that Seongwu can't hear it too. But hey, Minhyun―he's a confident person, isn't he? And he's―you know what. It's not the fact that taking his tops off means being shirtless in front of Seongwu, 'cos he's been in that position before; it's how Seongwu asks for it―orders him to―what gets to him, what makes him want to hide in a hole and never come out.
He shoos away those thoughts, whatever they might have been. He's a pure man and this is his pure friend and everyone is really pure around there except maybe Jaehwan.
“Sorry, all right?” Seongwu goes to say something else, but Minhyun cuts him off. “Look, it got mixed with my clothes―” Lie Count: 1 “―and it's not like I'm too keen on having people seeing a cartoon flash its butt at them when they look at me.” Lie Count: 2―that would be really funny.
Seongwu makes exaggerated gestures with his hands. “Then take it off! I still wanna wear it tomorrow.”
“You have billions of shirts that look like this one.”
“None of them have a butt on them though?”
“Oh my god, Seongwu,”
More whining, more tugging and more irrefutable points later and Minhyun is blushing to the roots of his hair, and sweating under the shirt Seongwu wants so bad―he almost considers saying this, but something tells him Seongwu wouldn't mind as long as he wins (Which just feels like they've reversed roles at some point during the day, because it's usually Minhyun being this stubborn, a little petty and demanding, yet there Seongwu is, adopting all these bad traits from Minhyun and putting them to work on the Master of Everything).
Seongwu is even stood up in front of the bed, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently on the floor – he's waiting. “Go on,” he orders.
Minhyun might die.
His mind is a pure, crystalline lake, full of innocent thoughts, Minhyun has to convince himself as he starts taking off the hoodie; and there's nothing d*rty in the lake – the very bottom is actually made of the purest, most immaculate thing in the world: cotton candy. Maybe there are people who have tried to utilize poor cotton candy for other means, but in Minhyun's world it remains purepurepure and he's―oh my god here comes the shirt.
In hindsight, this was a very bad idea. In foresight, it had been a bad idea too, but honestly, Seongwu can convince anyone with those brown eyes and stubbornness.
He doesn't know if he's shivering because it's cold or because he's embarrassed under Seongwu's wide eyed stare. There's really nothing special about this moment, he reasons, but there is something going on―something that has the two of them praying the ground would open up and swallow one of them whole.
“Aren't you gonna take it?” It's almost indecipherable, but Seongwu manages or so Minhyun believes. He also notes that Seongwu's hands are shaking, very much like Minhyun, and that his cheeks are dusted in a pretty pink yet again. Quickly, he wears the hoodie again when the damn shirt is gone from his hand.
“Stop staring at me,” Minhyun says. When he sees Seongwu blinking back to reality―from wherever his mind might have wandered to―he decides to lighten things up by saying, “You looking at me like that… don't think you want me to say it, Mr. Ong, but it's kinda gay.”
By now, everyone should know how these moments go: Seongwu would find a way to excuse himself, bring the straightest person (dead or alive) to the dorms and make them explain how it is, then he'd ignore what'd happened and go back to annoying Minhyun, being annoyed by Minhyun or being annoying with Minhyun.
Things aren't quite like that then. Seongwu lets out a confused, really soft “huh?” and blushes even deeper―Minhyun might have started playing a metaphorical game of ‘Take a Shot Every Time Ong Blushes’―looking dazed and rather awkward. Oh no, what did Minhyun do? Boundaries, he probably crossed them and now Seongwu won't talk to him anymore, not even when they're running out of time and―
“Let's go―let's go to sleep.” Seongwu nods more to himself than to Minhyun and goes to move the comic from his bed to his nightstand, opening the duvet and then looking back at Minhyun. “What are you―do you not want to sleep?”
Minhyun almost apologizes and says that he's going back to his room, then, but Seongwu looks too expectant and he arranged the two pillows on his bed, each for one person―Minhyun can definitely catch his drift.
When they're both in bed and Minhyun fights the urge to turn on his side and cuddle Seongwu until neither of them feels like they're able to breathe, in the middle of the night, Seongwu breathes out: “Maybe―maybe it was, but just a little.”
He realizes at three in the morning, still wide awake, with Seongwu snuggling up to his side, what those words meant.
. . .
Ong Seongwu ('s heterosexuality), as observed by Hwang Minhyun
- he blushes really easily around me―why's that? (so maybe i have an idea but wouldn't it be too naïve of me to actually believe that that is it? **add to to-do list: contact the wise hwang sujin and ask about it)
- irrelevant but likes boiled eggs, that fucking freak― ah, but he adds it to ramen and i like it in ramen so i guess there's that
- can drive― but so can i???? and the only time i've ever looked at a woman's boobs was when i was a baby and my mom breastfed me. (has he ever looked at a woman's boobs? look that up and scold him if he has)
- [THEORY] official 1/3 of dumb, dumber and dumbest so maybe he's the third bi in BiBi(Bi)? jt's cheating ass, please, answer this important question, o' holy soul
- he's been snoring a lot lately )))::: this is irrelevant too but doesn't that mean he's super tired like my dude my man my brofriend please
iloveui'll help u sneak in some more hours of sleep - He.
. . .
The recording booth feels more like home than anything Minhyun has known in the past five years, it's a constant and all of them, although different, have a very similar vibe to each other.
The vocalists have been called to revise their parts, see if they're satisfied with what they recorded―as per usual, they all think they did barely above mediocre so they all want to record again, and that's fine. Minhyun was the first to redo his lines, this time feeling better when listening to his own voice, noticing the way he reached the notes with more ease and the lines overall flowed much nicer than they did before – the producer agrees with him, and it's Jaehwan's turn to do his runs like he pleases.
“You going next?” Seongwu was staring at his sheet rather intently; like he had trouble remembering what he sung a couple of weeks ago and how he did it, like he hadn't heard his previous recording just a few minutes ago. The frown between his brows, Minhyun's fingers itched to smooth but he thought of it better and directed them to his jogger's pockets.
Seongwu nods, eyes stuck on the lyrics, not once meeting Minhyun's face. “But I think I might let the others go first so everyone can go home early.”
“What do you mean?” He sits on the floor right in front of Seongwu. Minhyun is well aware that there's an empty spot on the couch Seongwu's sitting on, Jinyoung and Daehwi taking over the other half and Sungwoon hunched over Jisung's back, listening to the comments the producers make about Jaehwan's voice attentively. This way, however, he's able to look at Seongwu's face from his preferred angle, the one where he gets to take in every single detail of it.
As he gets down, Minhyun catches a glance of Seongwu's paper. Usually, when they wish to do some parts over, they highlight it so they don't forget which parts were the ones they needed to work harder on and wrote little footnotes on how to improve. It almost hurt Minhyun's heart seeing Seongwu's page scribbled over, every single line jumping out with the pink highlighter.
“I didn't do a good job,” Seongwu says, still not looking up. “So I'll probably take longer than the rest of you. I don't wanna hold you guys back from getting a little bit of extra rest; you need it.”
“So do you,” reminds Minhyun. “And you didn't do badly, either; you were just flat on some parts―”
“You mean every line,” Seongwu chuckles emptily.
Minhyun remembers perfectly fine the Seongwu he met once upon a time: he stood tall and proud, a cocky smile on his face and a serious expression when there was nothing to laugh about; Minhyun thought of him as the life of the party, like someone who called for attention―someone who was born to receive the attention―but he soon learned he was wrong.
Seongwu isn't just cute and sweet, no; there are more sides to him than anyone could possibly know of. The confidence Seongwu flaunts so proudly is the result of countless night spent in front of the mirror perfecting every angle of every move, singing his lungs out in the shower, the car, in his bedroom; and nothing takes away the fact that Seongwu was, indeed, born to be the center of attention, if only because he craves the attention, wants to feel appreciated and validated. So he works himself to the bone, until the only thing he remembers is lyrics instead of just words and dance moves instead of everyday moves. Seongwu is a lot more fragile than he lets on.
He can't help but mirror Seongwu's frown in distaste. “You did the best out of all of us, the producers said it themselves.” Seongwu shakes his head. “No, you did and I think so too. All of us needed to tweak a part or two in your lines, Ong; you're not the only one. And I get that you want to be at your best, but don't push your limits; don't try to fix what is already more than enough.”
But thirty-eight minutes later, everyone went home except for Seongwu. And Minhyun.
“I'll stay back,” he said to Jinyoung. “To keep Seongwu company, so he doesn't go to the dorms by himself.”
Although he wasn't too keen on seeing Seongwu beat himself up every time he wasn't pleased with himself, Minhyun spent fourteen minutes taking in the beauty of Seongwu's voice and the faces he made as the notes came out smoothly and warmly.
All mushy feelings aside, Minhyun thinks he can drown in Seongwu's voice; there's something so precious and unique about that a smile spreads across his face whenever he listens to him. He remembers, last Christmas―their first Christmas together―they had three different secret exchanges, and Seongwu pulled his name out in one of them. Minhyun hadn't been expecting much from whomever might have gotten him―they were extremely busy, after all, so the most he looked forward was a medium sized refill for his secret stash of snacks.
Seongwu, he learned, is more unpredictable than one thinks at first. And at second. And so on until he does something completely out of the Seongwu Norm, like the present he gave Minhyun. “Why would you give me―an audio file?” Minhyun had innocently asked, the bright light of his phone screen all but blinding his eyes in the dimly lit room.
“Do you think it's a moan audio?” Jihoon had attempted to whisper to Woojin, who snickered behind his hand in return, mumbling, “I wouldn't put it past Ong hyung.”
“Hey, I'm a nice man,” he'd defended. “It's cute, I promise. Just wear your earphones and you'll be alright.”
(That, of course, did not do anything to put a stop to Jihoon's suspicions and soon 4/11 were moaning like beasts and they continued until they remembered Guanlin and Daehwi. “You guys,” Jisung had spat, “fucking suck.”)
So, because he was never one to go against instructions (unless they came from Dongho), when he was in his warm bed he put on his earphones and soon had found himself smiling softly at his favorite songs being all but sweetly whispered into his ears by Seongwu, no instrumental, just white noise and the occasional rustling of sheets.
To this day, Minhyun's yet to question Seongwu's gift but he sure as hell has said thank you one too many times.
It isn't that surprising to find himself lulled into a Zen state when Seongwu sings, feeling the tranquility blooming in his chest, covering all of his worries like a magic blanket and making all of them disappear like nothing was ever there. But it is embarrassing when Seongwu stops singing, seemingly satisfied with faintly flushed cheeks under the incandescent light, and his hands just… come to life and clap―hard.
“What Minhyun said,” one of the producers laughs, Minhyun joining in as well to hide his shame. “Did you like this one?”
As cliché as a rom-com movie line, Minhyun's eyes meet Seongwu's through the window screen separating them and he witnesses the quirk on Seongwu's lips when that happens, accompanied by a convinced nod. “I did…”
They're out of the studio, in the back of a taxi cab, when Seongwu asks Minhyun why he decided to stay.
The answers that pop in his head are a little―fucking―cringe-worthy: “just because (…I wanted to)”, “I like being with you”, “I'd never leave you”, and so on. He gives a shrug as a response instead, fingers fiddling with his phone to inform Sungwoon that they're on their way home.
“Didn't―” fuck, this one too is a little… “―didn't wanna leave you alone, I guess.”
Surprisingly, Seongwu chuckles at the words. There really isn't anything remotely funny about what Minhyun said (…is there?), so he can't quite put his finger on what could've caused the reaction – not until he feels one of Seongwu's hands clasping around his left ear and Seongwu teases, “Are you getting shy on me now, Hwang Minhyun?”
He scoffs, quickly slapping Seongwu's hand away but it somehow stays resting on his shoulder, index finger coming up to make Minhyun's lobe wiggle like it's the most entertaining show ever. “Of course not,” he retorts. “Just don't want your ego to get massive like―”
“Like your head?” he asks; a sneer and a playful light in his eyes coming with it.
“Hey, man, fuck you,” but still, Minhyun laughs because this is ridiculous, really. Like, sitting in the back of a taxi and clearly avoiding and ignoring everything they know about personal space? What does that say?
Yet, before he can say his now infamous line, Seongwu finally sneaks his arm around Minhyun's shoulder, the other one coming to wrap around his middle and his head falling nicely―perfectly―on top of Minhyun's shoulder. “Is this a little gay to you?”
Minhyun smiles, “Just a little, though.”
“Good.”
. . .
from:[email protected]
to:[email protected]
SUBJECT: JINYOUNGIE!!!!^^
dear Jinyoung,
Today you've had a fun day at the dorms, I can see: You thrashed my room and stole all of my skincare products―is this your teenage rebellion phase? please bring them back, my pores are crying. take Sungwoon hyung's… he ate your dumplings!!!! (that's right, he did it. Woojin was only covering for him because he's weird like that)
also, I couldn't help but notice you put all of Ong's seals in my bed… excuse my French but WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT DUDE!!! Seongwu's going to sue me, he made (literally. made…himself!) a restraining order so I couldn't come close to his seals―I have the sticky notes, alright!―you know Woojin is an amazing lawyer, Jisung hyung can't even win the case for me. please, tell Seongwu you did it and I had nothing to do with it.
also I fucking see you flipping me off stop that you rude kid or I will kick your ass to Mars if you think I'm joking keep flipping me off I dare you
love, your Minhyunie hyung
P.S. you have some leftover ice cream in the fridge and I bought some dumplings for you!!! they're behind Daniel's emergency beers―don't you fucking touch those. I LOVE YOU, YOU AMAZING KID!!!!!! [KISSY FACES X100000]
P.S. 2. DO YOUR HOMEWORK!
. . .
“Are you any closer to admitting your gay desires?” Jaehwan's mouth is colored blue from the icicle he'd been sucking on for the past ten minutes and Seongwu is too distracted by how sticky Jaehwan's hands feel on both of his cheeks to bother with the question.
Not that he was trying to swerve him or anything.
He scrunches his nose in discomfort, his own hands coming up to get Jaehwan's away. “Go wash your hands, you toddler.”
Jaehwan sticks his blue tongue out at him, childishly mouthing 'merong~' repeatedly. As usual, he doesn't listen to Seongwu, though it's a bit unnecessary to say. “Don't think I don't see through you, hyung. Are you?”
“Dude,” he sounds so pitiful, Seongwu realizes a beat later, but it's what he feels. “Come on.”
“Dude―sorry, hyung, I meant hyung,” Jaehwan corrects at the glare and quirked eyebrow Seongwu sent his way, all but trembling in fear. Wuss. “We all know, and we're all pretty gay ourselves so, like, what's stopping you?”
This is where he gives up: not in front of Minhyun like everyone expected, but watching Jaehwan wipe his hands on his jeans and pouting when he gets lint stuck to them. “I just―I don't know? Like, I know you guys wouldn't judge me but I don't think… I've ever liked a boy before?”
“You like Minhyun hyung,” Jaehwan points out, to which Seongwu sighs dramatically.
“That I unfortunately do.” To keep the dorky, enamored smile that threatens to come out (haha), Seongwu runs his hands down his face rather roughly and sighs again before continuing, “The thing is, that he's literally the only man I've ever felt attracted to. What does that mean? What if I'm not, like, in love with him or anything and actually am just jealous of how princely he is.”
Jaehwan looks funny giving deadpan looks, Seongwu discovers, what with the puffy cheeks and cute, permanent pout. He looks like a child grumbling under his breath and sulking when he says: “If you were just “jealous”―” He even has the gall to make double quotation marks, that guy. “―you wouldn't be here, on my bed on our last free Sunday morning calling him princely, of all things.”
“See,” Seongwu all but shouts. “What kinda word is that? Maybe I'm just a malfunctioning straight, growing up in this gay-loving society. Why couldn't I be born in the 60's with the extreme homophobia and racism? Then, maybe everything would be ten times easier.”
He falls back on the messy pillows on Jaehwan's bed, arms spread out and gaze keeping focus on the ceiling. It's not like he is against liking Minhyun, or anyone of the same gender as him, the problem lies in the fact that this is too new to him―he's used to seeing the pretty girls with their boobs boobing down stairs and long strawberry scented hair and boobs but now he doesn't think he minds… not boobs? That's just―is that okay, is his biggest worry. Can that―something so sudden, out of nowhere―happen and be valid?
Jaehwan sighs with him, going to lie down next to Seongwu, using his left arm as a pillow and making Seongwu groan at the unexpected weight but he doesn't complain much. This right here, Jaehwan willingly lying down with him, is so uncharacteristically of him and Seongwu knows how to count his blessings (and this will also be useful for future references, when he's trying to cuddle Jaehwan just because and Jaehwan pushes him again because ew, you're Seongwu―hyung. Seongwu hyung)
“If Minhyun hyung is making you uncomfortable with this,” he says, “just ask him to stop, alright?”
Seongwu smiles, “I'm not… I'm really, really not uncomfortable at all. Never was, just maybe a bit scared, overwhelmed, is all. One day I'm straight and the next I'm getting called out for all my slip-ups.”
“You're not that good at hiding it either, though.” There's a laugh hiding behind Jaehwan's eyes, which he contains if only because this is a heart-to-heart they're having, sort of.
“I… am not?” He's an actor, for fuck's sake, he should be good at diverting his attention from Minhyun's face from time to time, at least the moments when the guy isn't talking.
Guess he isn't, “Nah, you're really obvious. Remember when we were watching NCT perform and you literally gasped when Taeyong sunbaenim breathed?”
He does, very much so―Taeyong had green hair and was all sweaty and he looked stunning, who wouldn't get the air knocked out of their lungs knowing such person was actually real and not just CG? Still, what he says, “I don't. That was probably you.”
“I'm a Doyoung kind of guy, hyung, you can't fool me.” Jaehwan poked him on the side, making him squirm. “You're shitty at pretending.”
“In my defense―”
“You're very gay, very confused and very, very comfy,” interjects Jaehwan, snuggling closer. “You know what, maybe this talk you shouldn't be having it with me. Minhyun hyung has like… Gay Seniority or something, and Jisung hyung and Sungwoon hyung too, but… Minhyun hyung…”
There is absolutely no way he's going to have this talk with Minhyun. No, not at all. Some things are meant to be kept on the down low under certain circumstances, and these circumstances are: if he tells Minhyun that yes, he is Very Gay (in a sort of umbrella term kind of way) then that would mean Minhyun would be right. Now, don't get him wrong, he's not Jaehwan or Daniel or Jinyoung and he doesn't like going against Minhyun's word just because (even though it is fun); accepting defeat means Minhyun knows Seongwu better than Seongwu knows himself and that's―just… unacceptable.
“You need a nap,” he tells Jaehwan and orders him to sleep, doesn't matter if he regrets it later when his arm goes numb. “'Cuz you really don't know what you're saying, dude.”
. . .
“May I come in?” Seongwu timidly knocks on Minhyun's door, eyeing the empty, barely made bed next to Minhyun's. When he gets the okay, he goes in and nods towards the crumpled blankets. “Where is he?”
Minhyun shrugs, “I think he went to work out. Without me.”
“You sound bitter on this fine evening, good working sir.” Seongwu plops down on Sungwoon's bed, his arms naturally reaching out to hold one of the pillows and hug it close to his chest. “Why are you cranky?”
“Am not,” he rolls his eyes and he rolls his neck and Seongwu just knows: Minhyun is cranky. And because he wants to boast about his good reading (of people) skill, Seongwu stares at Minhyun until his gaze is too intense and the poor guy grows restless. “Oh my god, Seongwu, shut up―”
“I'm not saying anything though?” But he knows.
“Okay, fine, I am cranky. Can you come to this side and pat my back like a good friend?”
Seongwu thinks Minhyun doesn't even need to use his pout on him, but he's not going to tell him that―what if he deprives him of the cutest view on Earth if he does? So, as if it was a big deal for him, Seongwu sighs heavily and gets up from the bed, soon finding himself seating next to Minhyun with his hand going up and down Minhyun's back. “Should I get Hello Counselor on the line? What is your concern, my dude?”
“I'm… sad, I think,” he shrugs. “I don't even know if I'm sad. What does sadness feel like, exactly?”
“What do you feel exactly?” Like on instinct, he lets his hand go up the back of Minhyun's head and begins to thread his fingers through his hair―his skull feels hot, like Minhyun has a headache or too much tension going on there, so he applies a little bit of pressure of his touches.
Minhyun all but leans back on the hand. “Drained and unexplainably upset―irrationally, actually, because there is a reason, I just don't know what it is yet.”
“Could it be that me not admitting to like you so far has drained the life out of you, Hwang Minhyun?” he questions in a poor attempt at lightening the mood, but Minhyun finds it laughable, at least, because he lets out airy sounds and shakes his head softly.
“Maybe, maybe,” again he sighs. “Or maybe it's just one of those days.”
For a moment, Seongwu thinks he might regret his next words but quickly discards the thought. There is nothing he regrets when it comes to Hwang Minhyun. “Do you want me to hold you?”
And something just goes ‘pop!’ somewhere, like a bubble of warmth. The atmosphere grows shy but not restrained, like when the sun tints places a peachy, almost rosy color at the right time and there's a surge of something that words can't even fathom in your veins.
It could be Minhyun's smile and the sudden sunrise going up in his eyes, or Seongwu feeling like summer came out of nowhere, in the middle of autumn, and kissed the back of neck wishing him good fortune and good luck, just in case, and a happy life as well. He thinks moments like this is when the flowers bloom the prettiest, and it's a damn shame he can't see the garden growing in him, where the butterflies fly around and the bees sweeten their trails.
“Sure,” the word that confirms that as long as it's Minhyun, Seongwu really would never, ever regret a single thing.
. . .
It's another night when they gather around, the promotions of their special single shorter than they expected and though it isn't that good, they still feel thankful for the breather they get.
In their pajamas, with sodas in hand because Guanlin banned alcohol from the dorms as long as he was around (“I just think it's for the greater good that I―we―that we don't ever, ever see Jihoonie hyung doing Marionette ever again,” and who can say no to that kid?), Wanna One are lounging around when Daehwi says, “I'm bored. And I also feel like fighting. Or debating,” he turns to Woojin, “Hyung, is this puberty?”
Woojin sneers, “That's just you.”
“FFFFff―” Daehwi falters when Jisung gives him a look over the rim of his glass. “―forks and knives, spoons and sporks, mugs and cups, other utensils and containers―Guanlin, this is the perfect moment to be more adorable than me. Do something, anything―roll over!”
Instead, Guanlin Who Isn't a Dog but Their Precious Baby rolls his eyes and then claps his hands. “Let's do round two of―of―of the thingy we did the other night What do you call those, presentations?”
“Humiliations,” Jihoon corrects, bitterly sipping on his Sprite. There was something so awfully pleasing, seeing him seethe this way because, for once, someone had more power than him―the hyungs scared? Not tonight, no. “But that sounds like fun. I didn't get to join you guys last time.”
“You were canoodling with the toilet, Park.”
“Would you have rather I canoodled with you, Other Park?” (…) “Oh my god, that was so disgusting. Don't even look at me. Who am I and who allows me to say things, please answer fast.”
“I ask myself the same question every day,” Woojin sighs, rolling his eyes and then a devious smirk appears on his face. “For what it's worth, though, yes, I wanted you to canoodle m―”
“MOVING ON,” Jihoon screams, flapping his hand at Jinyoung's direction. “Say something, peanut head.”
“Fuck you, that's what.”
Somehow, they do move on a few minutes later and, after that, they all disperse to different sides of the room to do some basic research on their topics. Seongwu doesn't need to do research on his, so he just spends his time looking for Inuyasha PNGs and manages to download the Marvel font to his phone.
Someone sits next to him, “What are you going to talk about?”
Seongwu sniffs at Minhyun's closeness and acts unaffected―he smells like warm laundry and the caramel popcorn they both begrudgingly ate when Jihoon shoved all the normal one in his mouth and told everyone to get fucked. The blush in his cheeks is due to how warm the place actually is, the heater on and all that, and not because Minhyun's chin rests naturally on his shoulder as he peers at Seongwu's phone.
“Are you coming out―” what “―as a weeb? Why is there anime all over your slides? Like, Ong, we know you'd die for Naruto but can you come up with something else?”
He bumps his shoulder, making Minhyun whine. “It's not about anime―and this is not Naruto, I'm disappointed in you.” Then, he turns the subject to Minhyun. “Are you gonna give more reasons why I'm gay and I just don't want to admit it, hmm?”
“Ha, ha,” says Minhyun, rather bitterly, and goes to nip at Seongwu's shirt; a very Not Manly shriek comes from Seongwu's mouth at that. “Not everything is about you, dork. I'm talking about how JYJ leaving TVXQ killed the music industry.”
After that, is silent between the two of them until Seongwu asks, “And are you done? Cuz I don't see you doing anything.”
Minhyun shakes his head, hair tickling Seongwu's ear and neck. “Nah, but I'm working up the motivation. Tell me something that motivates me.”
“Um, being better than me? Mine is gonna be boring, so―”
“Then anyone can be better than you, Ong, something else.”
He blinks. “If you go finish your thing, I'll give you a kis―”
“Get off me you oaf, I have slides to make, traumatic memories to recall and a kiss to get.”
Seongwu laughs under his breath, sparing a look to see Minhyun sprinting towards his phone and settling himself on the couch, looking like a man with that a purpose. Then he redirects his attention to his phone. He is going to win this time.
. . .
justice league, april of 2017
kwon hyunbean, 12:29am
i just think it's crazy how they gave us our phones back…
jrie, 12:29am
same ?_? it's gonna hurt when they take them again tho
ong, 12:30am
i think our name is offensive
kang daniel, 12:31am
lol hyung whyyy
kim jjaen, 12:31am
personally, i find it cool
if we all like it ig
minhyun, 12:32am
the fans suggested it….
ong, 12:33am
yeah but DC fucking sucks
would it be petty to say i hate that daehwi kid for taking avengers cos… gonna keep it real…
i kinda do.
minhyun, 12:33am
you're unbelievable
jrie, 12:33am
i agree with him…
on DC sucking ass, not the daehwi part, he's a nice kid
kwon hyunbean, 12:35am
i like him bc he lent me money for the bending machine the other day :B
omg daniel hyung that looks like u
:B
when u :B.. u know..
kang daniel, 12:35am
:BBBBBBB
ong, 12:40am
im going to bed
but im doing it SEETHING
fucking justice league..
minhyun, 12:41am
goodnight ong…
ong, 12:41am
…….
goodnight minhyun.
. . .
“Can I go first this time?” Seongwu bravely asks.
Time went by faster than anyone thought it would and he could see Daehwi hyperventilating next to Woojin (“I definitely do not have enough Rihanna pictures on this slide, I'm going to lose!”) and Daniel still pondering on what to talk about, and since Seongwu has always been that kid that takes one for the team, he thought why not? Besides, this way all of them would stop trying so hard―they'll realize no one can beat his topic. (Though Guanlin's 'Bee Rights: The Sad, Terrifying Reality of the Bees' does look interesting. That one could be a strong contender).
Seongwu tries to not meet eyes with Minhyun but he does like it's his job anyways, there's nothing physically stopping him from doing so until his back is completely turned to everyone and―necks exist, so there's that.
The antenna is nowhere to be found and when he asks about it Woojin replies with a, “You don't really want to know, do you?” And if Woojin's face is anything to go by, Seongwu really doesn't so he leaves it at that. He has hands, he can gesture.
“Tell us, Almighty Seongwu,” Minhyun calls from his spot on the floor, “What will you be educating us about on this fine night?”
When the slides open and the orange color reflects on Minhyun's surprised, flustered face, Seongwu does feel a sense of pride―despite having changed the Marvel font for good ol' Comic Sans. With his index finger he underlines the words he says: “'Ong Seongwu and His Big, Fat, Massive, Absolutely Indisputable Crush on Hwang Minhyun, and the Gayness of it All'.”
“What Fall Out Boy song is that?”
“Shut up, Guanlin, this is a moment,” Daehwi even reaches to pinch Guanlin's thigh.
“Sorry… hyung, tell me later, okay?”
Seongwu would love to make promises, tell Guanlin that he will reveal the mysterious song before they go to bed and let him down easy by making him snap out of the sugar high he's on with a taste of whatever reality Seongwu would be facing them: teeth-rotting sweet or ripe lemon bitter. Yet, he can't even be bothered to look at Guanlin, to listen to him or to reprimand Jihoon for being so snarky to the kid, not when he's carefully gauging Minhyun's reaction… or the lack thereof.
Still, it isn't a bad thing, not at all. At least Minhyun's ears wear the same color of a plum under the bright light of the Inuyasha GIF, and his eyes are like two little constellations, shinier and, dare he say, prettier than his agape mouth and the tug that keeps pulling up and down―mostly down―the corners of his lips.
“Ooh, get it!!!” Someone else says, and it sounds so far away that for a moment he thinks it might have been God Taeyong himself, but when he snaps back to reality―he has a confession to make―he realizes it’s Daniel and that he's violently, yet happily, shaking Jaehwan like a poor rag doll.
Clearing his throat, Seongwu makes sure to keep his composure before properly beginning. It sucks to know and to feel his cheeks getting warmer and more colored just as he opens his mouth, but it's important to remember that he's never done this before; not this publicly.
The next slide is *N'SYNC, ramen-haired Justin Timberlake right in the center, with a large 'ONG SEONGWU? BI-BI-BI!' right above. “Have y'all ever seen a girl,” Seongwu begins, “and thought: 'Jesus Christ, this is why I was put on Earth! To look at you, respect you, and love you only if you want me to because I am a man that puts your comfort before my own needs'?” Daniel and Jaehwan nod enthusiastically, everyone else just stares in confusion.
“And have y'all ever seen a man thought the exact same thing?” This time everyone nods, even Minhyun. “Good, well I've only felt that way about one man in particular.” There's a loud trumpet sound that plays when he shows the next slide, a bunch of pictures of Minhyun appearing to make one shitty collage that Seongwu loves so much simply because these are all pictures he's taken, selfies Minhyun has sent to him exclusively, the two of them with all the pretense of perfectly styled hair and pimples meticulously covered.
“This is so fucking… fuck.” Sungwoon is recording, Seongwu notices when he casts a look his way. Don't blush don't embarrass yourself you're doing GREAT, you hear me? Come on…
“It, um, it took quite some time for me to come around―I don't think Minhyun did much about that promise he made, to be honest… I knew then that I wasn't… that I am… that I like him―” (“Aw, fuck, look at his hands, he's shaki―Jinyoung, I swear to god, if you say 'unnies, I'm shaking', so help me, God”). “But there's this thing, I'll call it the Big Question Mark―” and the next slide shows a big, red question mark with a very annoying face. “Basically, I've always been attracted to girls, exclusively. And―and I didn't know if it was just a Minhyun thing―or if it is a Minhyun thing―and I was scared of, I don't know, being offensive or disappointing people or giving false hope unnecessarily, I guess?
“It's not like I planned on doing anything about it, really. But I guess there just comes a time where a guy finds another guy too cute and too lovely and so unbearably smoochable―” (“Ew,” ―Park Jihoon, 2018) “―that he just… has to give in.”
Before anyone could clap,think his presentation was done, he quickly changed to the second to last slide. Another look is chanced Minhyun's way, and Seongwu has to admit it: Minhyun's smile is pretty contagious.
It's a bunch of shitty drawings he made on an application he downloaded just for this, all of them are Minhyun and Seongwu, Seongwu and Minhyun, always together and doing the dumbest, most comfortable things in the world, like separating colors from black and white and Minhyun teaching him how to make sure his underwear gets thoroughly washed in the washer, and them sharing shirts because sharing is caring, and just―doing things one would do with their significant other.
“The expected result out of this presentation is that Hwang Minhyun accepts to be my boyfriend, through thick and thin, post and pre-2019―”
“Dude…”
“Sorry, too soon? Too soon, alright, let's just stick to through thick and thin, alright, I'm sorry, Linie don't cry. Let's move on from that and keep going on, thank you. Through thick and thin, through stolen shirts and shared socks, through corny nicknames and lies about not wanting to eat with me, through, um, everything and nothing―I'm running out of things to say… so,” finally, Seongwu takes a deep breath and looks straight at Minhyun, “Will you? You don't have to, you can reject me too, it's fine, Jisung hyung has Taeyong sunbaenim's number and―”
“Shut up so I can say yes.”
“OK.”
“…”
“We're holding our breaths too, dickhead, just say it.”
“Can't even have fun these days,” Minhyun grumbles under his breath. Seongwu knows what's coming. It's a good thing. “I will be your boyfriend, yes.”
And when they kiss, right in front of everyone's face (and Seongwu thinks this is a well deserved punishment for all of them because, after all, he knows they're the ones that keep messing with his seals and Minhyun was just covering for them. He knows), the only thing on Seongwu's mind is holy shit, it's happening.
However, when they (“Finally,” Guanlin groans out. “That crap was eternal.”) get away from each other's faces, the first thing Seongwu says is, “No homo, though.”
Minhyun says, “No, that was very gay of you, Ong. Your gay-o-meter reached its limit and has now exploded. You're beyond the realms of gayness.”
“Shame,” but they kiss again, so not really.
. . .
(at least) 5 Very, Extremely Gay Things Seongwu Said to Minhyun Before 'Being' Gay:
- “I wanna kiss you, right―” [HAND STAMPED ON MINHYUN'S MOUTH!!!!] “―here.” [DRUNKEN GIGGLES, but this still counts.]
- [HOLDS MINHYUN'S FACE, very lucid, not drunk at all] “You are so, very pretty, Hwang Minhyun.”
- [“FMK: Minhyun hyung―”] “I don't know what I wanna do to―with him…” [HIS MIND: MARRY THEN FUCK!!!!!!! FUCK THEN MARRY!!!!!!! JUST DON'T KILL!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!… but he’s so cute… maybe he should be killed… WITH KISSES AND LOVE AND MARRIAGE AND FUCKAGE AND―]
- [HOLDS MINHYUN'S HAND, no reason at all. They're in Guanlin's room, making sure he's actually sleeping and not throwing fits, attempting to. One of them sighs out of exhaustion, but it's probably Seongwu himself. The little shaky thing his heart does when Minhyun drops a kiss on the back of his hand, he didn't want to delve further into back then. But he knew.]
- [ACTUALLY KISSES MINHYUN'S CHEEK] “Huh, so that's why Daniel likes to kiss you so much. Your cheeks are soft.”
(+1, but not quite: “I think out of all the people I've met in my life, Hwang Minhyun, you fit me the best. Thank you for being my friend and letting me be yours.”)
. . .
“Since we’re a couple now… does that mean I’m the seals’ other father now?”
“First you want to take Guanlin and Woojin and Daehwi from me and now you want my seals too? Maybe I made a hasty decision…
“Ong, you literally spent more than a year thinking about this.”
“But still…”
The End