Work Text:
Congratulations David and welcome to the firm of Triques and Tourns. As I'm sure you are aware, we are one of the oldest tailoring firms in the world. We produce the best-tailored clothing for a very unique clientele, and there are a few special techniques we use that you need to be familiarized with before beginning.
What?
Oh, don't worry about that, surely you were required to sign a non-disclosure agreement before. Yes, yes, I know the phrasing seems a little severe, but we've only had to turn one tailor over to a client for retribution in the last 72 years, so don't let it worry you. Just think of it as an incentive, just like the promised bonuses for exceeding a client's expectations. Remember too, lifetime employment and a very generous retirement package. Not to mention the travel, since some of our clients prefer us to come to them.
Jenny! Have you managed to work out that problem with the new Chanel for the Baroness? What about in the skirt? Damn, maybe we'll just have to provide a coordinating harness for her to wear underneath. See if they will sell us a yard of the lining fabric to cover it. Those unstructured jackets always cause problems.
Now, where was I? Oh, yes, special techniques. A few of them seem to go against the basic principles of tailoring, but trust me; they fill our clients' needs. You may have heard from other firms that we use more interfacings that any other two firms put together. It is those interlinings which allow us to produce coats and jackets that look perfectly ordinary while concealing the weaponry inside.
No, don't worry, the police have never prevented us from helping our clients. Besides, we've had a royal charter for our work since the Restoration. Charles the Second was one of Mr. Tourns first clients, I keep hoping that account will become active again, but …
Sorry, there I go off on another tangent. William did warn you that I tend to wander a bit, I hope. I'll be retiring from the firm myself in another year or so. Got a wonderful little villa down in Monte Carlo – a gift from one of our clients.
I'm sorry I should have been clearer, I am allowed the use of the villa, but its ownership won't change. They'll get to have it to themselves again after I'm gone.
Interfacings. Most modern coats are only interfaced in the front and on the shoulders, but ours must be interfaced in the back as well. In addition, the webbing we use – the same sort as for the Horse Guards – must not show on the outside, or limit the range of motion. Don't worry; you'll get the hang of it. I believe the first project that you'll be working on is updating the pattern masters. We've been meaning to do that since the 60s, but its taken us this long just to get the time to sort out the 'retired' clients files.
Now, most of our clients have one particular weapon that they use. If so we have a copy of it so that we can ensure the hang and drape of the coat before they come for a fitting. The weapons are kept with the tailoring mannequins – we are one of the few firms still creating a mannequin for each customer, but since our clients tend to use our services for a very long time we've found it worth our while to store them. Excuse me David, yes Dru?
Who? The V and A? Must be a new curator again. If you will check the files you can find the form letter we send them. We are not donating them anything, or loaning them anything for exhibit.
Every once in a while some Costume Council idiot comes up with the idea of an exhibit on English Tailoring, and they've done everything short of trying to buy the company to get us to participate. Maybe Harvey Nicolls likes the publicity, but our clientele require us to remain discreet.
Now then, the basics of our custom rigging is the harness that is hidden between the outer fabric and the lining. Note that the main strap goes over the left shoulder – well, normally it's the left shoulder – but the additional strap that crosses to the right shoulder helps support the weight without making the coat look lopsided. That's the arrangement for a standard draw. Some of our clients prefer a draw off the back instead, and that is easier in the webbing, but requires more padding and interfacing so the hilt doesn't show. Then there are the shorter coats where the whole rig is hidden in the back of the coat. Then there's – Oh! Mr. FitzWilliam! I didn't know you were coming in today, may I present our newest employee? This is David.
What? Hmm, are you sure Mr. FitzWilliam?
Oh dear, this hasn't happened in over a century.
David, I'm afraid that we will not be able to employ you here at Triques and Tourns after all. According to Mr. FitzWilliam, you are one of our potential clients, and the information you would learn here would give you an unfair advantage in the Game. Mr. FitzWilliam, will you take care of him?
Thank you, this service will be credited to your account so that you may make use of our services for the next century without charge.
David I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to go with Mr. Fitzwilliam here, he'll explain everything to you, but before you go we'll need to get a set of measurements for you, and be sure to notify us as to which style you prefer.
Oh dear.
Michael? Would you be a dear and tell the front office we need to run the help wanted ad again?