Work Text:
some days Ethan would wake up and the day would just feel bad, he can feel alone even if he has people around him and if he's doing anything he feelings like everyone's eyes are on him and his brain wont stay on one thing, he couldn't sit still and he just wanted someone to make he feel better
today he woke up in a wet pull up as usual but today it just felt like it couldn't be any worse! "stupid bladder..." he mumbled miffedly to himself as he got dressed into a light blue shirt and some jeans, he didn't want to leave his room so he got on his computer and started editing
jack and mark where out for most of the day so it was just Ethan and Tyler which Ethan couldn't really choose if that was a good thing or not. he wanted to be little but his brain was telling him no even though he knew Tyler would love him no matter what
after about an hour of editing he took a break and checked his phone
from Tyler: didn't want to wake you up. gone out.
now Ethan felt even more alone knowing even Tyler wasn't there with him. maybe Tyler didn't want to be there with him...? No! he's not allowed to think like that!...but all of his friends had left him alone
he opened his bedroom door and stepped out, he knows no one's there so what he's looking for he's not sure but anything to make him not feel alone
he turned on the TV to have some background noise, of course it's paw patrol, for some reason it annoyed Ethan and made him want to just watch it so he did, he sat cross legged on the floor watching paw patrol until his brain stopped feeling big
"what if daddy never comes home...?" Ethan sadly asked himself "an mar' an jack..." Ethan hugged himself tightly "'m lone." Ethan pouted and tried to stop thinking about being alone but he just couldn't he felt like it had been hours!
"does daddy not want me?" he wasn't questioning himself and no one was this him but he didn't really get how to think in his brain when he was in head space
he was so frustrated and he just wanted his brain to stop so he hit his hand hard against his head, it felt hot and like it was thumping he felt like it was going to bruise, he moved to be cross legged by the front door waiting for Tyler like a dog. he ended up falling asleep waiting for Tyler and he wanted his now growing headache to leave
~~~~
Ethan woke up in Tyler's arms "oh, thank god your awake!" Ethan put a finger to his lips and made a shh sound as Tyler "oh, can you tell me what happened to your head? that's a nasty bruise..."
"hit it."
Tyler could tell Ethan was in headspace "on?" Ethan held up his hand "you hit yourself?" a nod " why...?"
"wan'ed da bad thoughts ta stop. scared daddy wasn' comin' back."
Tyler hugged Ethan close "aww baby, you know I'd never leave you." he kissed his head lightly "you know I'm always there for you."
Ethan put his thumb in his mouth "wov you dada."
"I love you too" Tyler picked Ethan up and carried him to his room "I think someone needs some little time, hum?"
~~~~
Ethan was now in a diaper and cartoon shirt with a blue pacifier in his mouth as he sat on Tyler's lap as he watched thunder and the house of magic (btw if you haven't seen it you should because it's amazing!)
"hey, Eth have you seen the remote?" he points to the book shelf "good job."
"I have the eyes of an 'egal!" Ethan said proudly
"the prescription on your glasses is something else..."
"no, they jus' for weadin' !"
Tyler rolled his eyes and kissed Ethan "mark and jack are gonna be back in an hour or so, do you want to get changed before they come back or want to still be little?"
"wittle pwease?" he asked hopefully
"ok love."
~~~~
jack came in looking a bit drunk holding his arms around marks shoulders
"jack's drunk and little. how's Eth?" mark smiled as he tried to keep jack from dropping
"he's little and knocked himself out by hitting himself in the head but I think he's all good now."
"well I need to get jack changed and in bed before he drops to the floor," he picked jack up and he made a squeak as mark took him up to his room
Tyler rolled his eyes and looked at the time "I think it's time for your bed time too." Ethan nodded into Tyler's chest
"sweep with you?" Ethan asked sleepily
"of course."
"wov chou..."
"I love you too." he kissed him lightly as they went to bed