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Love wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies. It wasn’t always cherry-red lips and angelic laughter, rosy cheeks and gentle whispers. Sometimes, it was thunderstorms and hurricanes. It was invisible scars and cold stares, tear-stained faces and loud screaming. It made them feel wonderful one moment and horrible the next. It made them smile and cry, like a flurry of emotions coursing through such soft souls. Complications and disagreements arose, but each and every problem could be solved with cooperation.
If there were times that little things caused happiness, those same little things could trigger intense feelings of rage. The inability to do something was cute at first, but that impression would die out as it would become a burden for the other party. Certain acts were draining and tiring, accompanied by the stress caused by school and work. Losing control every once in a while was normal; as long as these moments would occur infrequently, there wouldn’t really be worries.
Ritsu was very dependent on Mao ever since their youthful days. He could remember all the times that Mao would wake him up, dress him, cook food for him, and even help him sleep. He had gotten so used to such things that being independent never really crossed his mind until Mao finally snapped and told him to learn how to do things for himself. They’d gotten into a fight, a stupid one, but both of them knew that Mao was right. Well, almost everything that came out of his mouth was correct and rational; Ritsu just didn’t want to admit it.
“Ritsu, all I’m saying is that I can’t do this forever. I have my own life, and you have yours. I care about you, yes, but you need to learn. You can’t always be dependent on someone for the rest of your life,” Mao said with a tired sigh.
“But Maa-kun, you said you’d take care of me until we grow old!” Ritsu whined. He knew he was being childish, but he couldn’t help it.
“We both know I never said that, Ritsu.”
He pouted, knowing that his childhood bestfriend was right.
Mao sighed once again and moved closer to Ritsu, who backed away, “Ricchan… It’s not that I don’t want to take care of you anymore, but I want you to learn how to do it yourself. What if I’m not around? Don’t you dare say you’ll go wherever I go.”
“If I do things by myself, Maa-kun will spend less time with me…”
“Ritsu, you’re an intelligent student but that has got to be the dumbest thing to ever come out of your mouth. You know very well that I will always make time for you. I also want to keep pampering you, but at this age, independence is a must.”
“I’ll follow your advice… Only if you promise to still spend the same amount of time with me!”
“You act too childish, but fine, anything for you. I still have to teach you how to do things, anyway.”
Ritsu coughed, causing Mao to raise an eyebrow. The older boy moved closer and hugged him tightly, nuzzling his neck. Arguments rarely happened, and it sometimes got overwhelming. He tried to hold back the sobs, but he was noticeably shaking.
“Hey, hey, relax… I’m here, I’m staying. You’re shaking badly…” Mao felt a little guilty for snapping like that; maybe he could have stated it in a different way. He couldn’t blame him; who wouldn’t be shaken after an intense argument?
The tears wouldn’t stop, as if they couldn’t handle being held back anymore. Mao was consistently helping him calm down, which helped him a bit. He was scared of losing the person he cherished the most. He pulled Mao even closer and hugged him even tighter, so afraid of letting go, of the possibility that such a dear person would be gone. Everything could be taken away, just not Mao.
“I’m so afraid of losing you, Maa-kun. Please stay with me. I can be difficult sometimes, but I’ll try my best to improve… I care about you, too, even if I don’t seem to show it that much.”
Mao patted his back and pulled away from the hug, opting to cup Ritsu’s face in his hands, “Sakuma Ritsu, I have never wanted to stay with someone aside from you. You motivate me and inspire me; you’re one of the reasons why I see life and love as beautiful things. Life without you would be a total bore. I wouldn’t be in Yumenosaki if it weren’t for your dedication to become an idol, y’know?”
Ritsu only laughed, wrapping his arms around Mao’s neck and scooting closer and closer until there was little space left between their lips, “I love you, Maa-kun.”
“I love you too, Ricchan,” he breathed before pressing their lips together and immersing themselves in a passionately sweet kiss, one lovers would share after a long time of being away from each other.
Love is about compromise and sacrifices. It’s about knowing your differences and working around them. It’s about acceptance and selflessness. Love is utterly complicated and difficult to understand, but through time, couples would learn to understand each other much, much better, and get used to having experiences in the real thing.