Chapter Text
Tony could still feel the weight of Peter in his arms long after he's gone (gone, Peter is gone) and he can taste the ash in his mouth. Of the seven heroes that were on Titan, he's the only one left and the wind is still blowing around the ash they turned into. He numbly falls to his knees, debris digging into his skin where his suit no longer covers him, and he vomits, replacing the taste of dust -of Peter- with the acrid sting of stomach acid.
The sun is setting over the wrecked planet, lighting up the rubble in a way that's far too pleasant for the tragedy that just struck. It stings his eyes and they water, the tears overflowing replacing the image of Peter clutching at him desperately as he disintegrated. Replacing the image of Strange falling away. It was the only way. But it couldn't be. The only way couldn't leave Tony all alone.
He looks down at his exposed wrist where the black, elegant letters had always mocked him. STEPHEN STRANGE. They hadn't mentioned their soulmate marks before he...Tony stands, furiously wiping at his eyes though it does little good. He needs to get home.
He looks around the rubble for a few moments, looking at the trash that had been pulled down onto the planet - or perhaps had been here even when Titan was still alive and bustling with people. Now there's nothing but death here. He spots a small, crashed and broken ship and heads over to it. He runs a hand over the beat up metal, armor retreating, and searches for a panel. It takes a few tries to find one.
Tony has found that he worked best during the worst moments of his life, and as he pushes his sleeves up and pops the 'trunk' of the ship he hopes that holds true. He doesn't recognize the alien tech, doesn't have a hope of fixing it, but he has to get home. He gets to work.
His body aches and he's dizzy from blood loss and hunger, but he pulls apart and puts together the dusty, one-man ship for hours, through the rising sun and his stiff, achy fingers. He hunts around the area for parts, uses what remains of his nanotechnology to fix places he couldn't and to light what he couldn't see. His shirt clings to him with sweat, his mouth is dry and tacky, but he can't stop. He needs to reverse this, there's no other option. He can't rest until he sees Peter smile at him again, until he finally sees Strange's soulmark.
He manages to kickstart it by nightfall, a cycle after he lost everything, and the sight of the junker lighting up with a red glow sends a rush of relief through him so strong that the world tilts. Or maybe that's his body trying to shut down.
Tony climbs into the ship, body melting into the leather like seats, and slams the door shut behind him. It takes a few minutes to figure out the controls of the ship but then he is off, speeding off the planet as fast as he's able. The hours it takes to get home are blank, he can't remember any of it. He just knows that the clumsy landing in front of Headquarters, his home, is an empty feeling. He climbs out of the ship with difficulty, and just leaves it, heading inside through a personal entrance to avoid any workers still there.
The living room on his private floor is quiet and lonely. He heads into his room to grab his phone immediately, his mind racing with what he has to do next. First, he needs to call up help, before sleeping or eating or anything else. He circles back to the living room and sits down heavily on the large grey couch, already unlocking his phone.
The date that blinks back at him tells him he's been gone for nearly three days, and he has thousands of notifications. A good chunk of them are from Pepper, and he ignores the guilt that wells up in his chest. She can wait. He clicks on his contacts and sets to work.
Many don't answer their phones and he leaves a voicemail. He doesn't think about the fact that they could be dead or gone. Some don't own phones, or he doesn't have their number. But Bruce picks up.
"Tony? Is that you?" He hears filter through the phone. Bruce sounds tired, but not in pain or agony.
His voice is weak and raspy when he replies, he should have stopped for water. "Yeah, it's me. It's good to hear from you, no one else is answering."
"There's a good number of us here, we're in Wakanda."
What? "What are you doing over there? Did T'challa join the fight?" There are a few moments of silence.
Bruce's voice is suddenly thick when he responds. Tony refuses to think about why. "Yeah, yeah....he-he fought with us. We came over here with Vision, and Thanos came.."
"Tell me when you get here. I need every abled hero that fought at Stark Headquarters." Tony insists, running a shaky hand through his dirty, sweaty hair. He is a disgusting mess of dirt and blood and sweat and...ash.
There's a pause, and his hand clenches in his hair. "Bruce?"
"We can't. Thanos destroyed a good chunk of Wakanda, because we brought the fight here. All of us are helping with repairs to apologize." Bruce explains, sounding apologetic.
Tony's heart sinks, and he clenches his teeth. "Then come back as soon as possible! We need to fix this!" His voice breaks a little at the end, but he can't muster up any embarrassment.
"Alright. We'll be there within a week." There's a pause. "Take care of yourself, Tony."
He hangs up, and the thought of waiting a few more days to even start makes his soul pulse with pain.
The phone rings nearly immediately in his hands, and Tony drags his gaze from the blank TV to the screen. Pepper's name flashes there, and he nearly hangs up. But he owes her an explanation, out of everyone. All he wants to do is take a quick nap before throwing himself into planning, but she, at the very least, deserves a talk. He flicks the phone image to answer the call, and her panicked voice blares through the speakers immediately. He winces, his head throbbing.
"Tony! Tony, thank god you answered, I've been worried sick you gigantic ass! Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering my calls? I was worried that...Tony, What happened?"
She sounds utterly panicked, a mix of relieved and angry. He's weary deep to his bones, and he takes a deep breath.
"Hey, Pepper." He finally says. "It's been a rough few days."
The understatement of the century.
"Where have you been?" She asks again, more firmly, and he leans back on the couch.
"Space. It's a long story, but I had to board the spaceship that was here, and me and a team went to the planet Titan to confront Thanos."
"Thanos?" That's right, almost no one knows what had happened.
"Thanos is an alien who was hell-bent on wiping out half the universe. He gathered six stones, which were created with the universe, and it made him unstoppable. My team tried to take the gauntlet, which held the stones and allowed him to wield them, but we couldn't." He explains hollowly, mind slow and the words barely coming to him. He was so tired. Pepper is quiet.
"So that's what everyone ...everyone disappearing was about."
"Yeah." He gives a hysterical laugh. "He's the reason everyone's gone."
"I'm coming over." She says firmly. He shakes his head, unsure if he can handle that.
"Pepper, I'm not really-"
"Tony, I am your fiance and I thought you were dead. I'm coming over." He doesn't want to deal with this. Not now.
"That's not-"
"I am not staying home when the man that I love-"
"I found my soulmate!" He shouts, frustration boiling inside of him. Talking hurt, and everything was just too much. He squeezes his eyes shut and feels what little water we left in his body trail down his cheeks.
"I thought they died when you were a child." She whispers, shocked. The phone shakes, his body shakes.
"I lied." He answers, quiet and broken.
There's a long silence, before, "I'm coming over. Don't argue with me."
She hangs up and the phone falls to the couch. A sound rips past his throat and lips, a sharp keening sound he can't believe is coming from him. He drops his head into his hands and cries for several long minutes before he pulls himself back together enough to go get ready for her arrival.
By the time Pepper arrives Tony has showered and eaten, and he's sitting back on the couch in pajamas, skin bright pink from violently scrubbing the filth off of him. She arrives in a whirlwind of clicking heels and flowing blonde hair, Friday barely able to announce her presence before the elevator doors are sliding open and she's storming towards him. She's perfectly put together, as usual, dressed to impress despite the red of her eyes and her dark bags. She looks angry and hurt, but apparently, he looks just as wrecked as he feels because she halts in her tracks before she reaches him.
"Well, where is he?" She asks, and he can't stand the shaky quality of her voice. The question, however, is a punch to the gut.
"Dead." A shaky breath, the word as ashy as- "Pepper, I watched him...I watched him fade." He chokes out. He thought he was over the emotions, had them in check enough to not burst into tears every five minutes. He was wrong.
Her face crumples and she slowly joins him on the couch.
"He saved my life, and then he died. The bastard knew he was going to...and he didn't warn me..." He continues, despite wanting to curl up and never speak again.
"Was he everything you thought he would be?" She asks, and it's awkward, obviously painful for her to ask but she does it anyway. He laughs, and it hurts.
"He was nothing like I thought he would be. The man who came out of the portal? That was him. He's argumentative and flippant and thinks he's always right, and he's brave. So damn brave. And he's smart too, a doctor." It hurts to remember, his chest aching where his heart used to be. "And he was good with Peter-" A sob escapes, and he covers his mouth with his hand so hard his lip splits against his teeth. Pepper looks like just looking at him hurts.
"Peter? As in Peter Parker?!" She asks, caught off guard. He supposes that's the easier question for her to ask.
Tony nods, taking a deep breath. "Kid snuck on board the spaceship, he wanted to help. He did great, came up with a brilliant plan and he saved our asses more than once."
Pepper's breath hitches and she reaches out to him, hand wavering in the air. "Oh, Tony.."
He only just manages to hold the tears back. When will the numbness come?
"He died in my arms, Pepper. He knew it was coming, he fucking begged me to help and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save him and now he's dead!"
She grabs onto his hand and he can see she's crying. He grips her hand tighter, desperate.
"I have to fix it. I can't just...." He insists, and she's nodding immediately. The support reminds him why he loved her.