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For Jaemin, watching Jeno act on stage is a beautiful thing to witness.
From the quiet and sometimes introverted school boy, to the prince that captivates the audienceーJeno does it so effortlessly, so magnificently, it's like he's born to be in the spotlight. Even his beautiful partnerーthe Juliet to his Romeoーcrying in her sacrifice can't hold a candle to his passion and the emotions he pours into each line.
It's dazzling, it's enchanting, but it could also be a bit... overwhelming.
Jaemin finds himself sitting idly against the sidelines, smiling softly as he watched his fellow classmates praise each other a job well done for the day's rehearsals. Truthfully, he had been surprised when the majority stayed behind to help the costumes and props committee, despite being tired after their nonstop practice. But then, he supposed, it had something to do with their English teacher's talk a while agoーabout teamwork making the dream work, or something...
He's jolted out of his thoughts when he feels a cool bottle of water being pressed against his cheek. "Hey." A voice greets, and he looks up to see Jeno's face smiling at him.
"Hello to you too." Jaemin smiled back, accepting the proffered bottle as Jeno sat down beside him. A beat of silence passes between them, slowly growing awkward, before Jaemin clears his throat and says: "You did great today, as always."
At the same time Jeno asked, "Are you okay?"
There's a pause, again, as the two of them stared at each otherーone with a curious and slightly worried look, the other with a confused and slightly anxious one.
It's Jeno who breaks eye contact first, averting his gaze to his shoes as he fiddles with the laces. "It's just... you've been quiet the whole dayーnot that you're not quiet, because you are when Donghyuck isn't around. But... I don't know. Something feels different."
"You worry too much." He snorts, shaking his head as he leans heavily against Jeno's side. "I'm just thinking, is all."
It's getting late, but the air hanging around the campus grounds is still filled with the excitement of a rehearsal finished with little to no hitches. Only when the excitement died down did it give way to exhaustion and desire for sleep, the students slowly exiting the school and heading home. They still had classes the next day after all, and more rehearsals. More practice and preparations for their big event.
Four boys stumble out of the gates last, still having a bit of energy to joke around.
"Damn it, Jeno, you really outdid yourself earlier." Donghyuck exclaimed, clapping a hand against Jeno's back. "You should have seen Ms. Kim swooning backstage."
"Yeah, it was hilarious!" Renjun snickered. "Especially during the balcony scene..."
As the three launched into a conversation about their play, reciting and sometimes reenacting scenes they've done on stage, Jaemin quietly watches. He's walking a bit behind his friends, zoning in and out, becoming lost once again in his own thoughts.
The interior of the house is dark, which meant he had to be quietーhis parents were already asleep, and he wouldn't want to wake them. So he takes his time in opening the door; slowly, so as to avoid its creaking when he entered. Once inside, Jeno turns around. He's about to invite Jaemin in when he notices the other's anxious expression. "Nana?"
"Huh? Jeno?" Jaemin startles.
"Is there something bothering you?" Jeno asks.
Jaemin opens his mouth, then closes it when nothing comes out. He takes a deep breath, then levels Jeno with a look, "Iー"
"Are you still thinking?" Jeno's voice snaps him out of his thoughts (again, his mind whispers). Belatedly, Jaemin notices it's quietーand it must have been for a while. Donghyuck and Renjun were gone, leaving just the two of them in the silence of the night.
A smile stretches across Jaemin's face when Jeno repeats his question, bumping into the other's side when he answers, "Mm-hm! I'm just... My mind keeps coming back to the rehearsals a while ago. I guess I'm still awestruck by your performance earlier! Because really, it was a jaw dropper."
"Glad to hear that, then." There's something in the tone Jeno used that screamed, I don't believe you, but he doesn't try to pry further.
In the wake of his jumbled words, Jeno smilesーgentle and yet filled with the slightest sadness and guilt.
"I know." He says. "But I can't. I'm sorry."
"Nana." Jeno starts, reaching a hand out to touch him. "Is this aboutー"
When Jaemin tenses, he stops, hand frozen in the space between them. Jaemin doesn't want to hear about it, about whatever had passed between themーor the lack thereofーbecause it hurt. It hurt knowing that the little gestures, the affections they shared, turned out to be nothing at all.
"You know I can't, Nana. You're like a brother to me."
"I know, and it's okay. I'm okay." He mumbles, more to himself than to the other boy. Backing away slowly, he flashes Jeno a smile so big his cheeks protested. There's a veil of tears waiting to fall when he waves, a barely audible good night, see you tomorrow slipping past his quivering lips. He doesn't stay to hear Jeno's reply. Instead, he runs away.
Past the garden where they stood, through the opened gates of the Lee's householdーhe runs away from it all.
And in the hollow silence of the streets, dimly lit by moon, Jaemin lets the tears fall.
This must be how it felt like, he thinks, laughing bitterly, when Juliet stabbed herself with a knife.