Chapter Text
Tiredofyourshit added ILivedBitch, CannonBALLS, Knockyourwood and 10+ others to GryffsSlyths Group Chat
Spiderhuman: I can’t believe we’re actually doing this
Tiredofyourshit: Prof. McGonagall was correct when she said that this will help strengthen house unity, or at least it could, so everyone please give this a chance :) :)
Spiderhuman: …. Yea no
Spiderhuman has left the chat
BlondBitch added Spiderhuman to the chat
Spiderhuman: Top Ten Anime Betrayals
BlondBitch: I suffer, you suffer, bitch
ExcuseYOU: The second smiley makes it sound vaguely passive aggressive, Granger
Tiredofyourshit: :) :) :)
ILivedBitch: oh shit
CannonBALLS: oH s h IT
CannonBALLS: H ur closer to the ktchen, get her food
ILivedBitch: she’s your gf though
CannonBALLS: she’s ur platonic gf tho
ILivedBitch: ….
ILivedBitch: true
GossipQueen: already I must thank our mother for this source of pure gold
IfFoundReturnToDean: MOTHER ???????
KeepHim: omg
IfFoundReturnToDean: asdasfsag CANCELLED
Spiderhuman: show respect for your mother
Stardust: you are slytherins though?
Stardust: why is she your mother as well???
ExcuseYOU: are you taking our mother from us?
Spiderhuman: disgusting blocked reported
Thefirstone: get away from my gf smh
ILivedBitch: I say we can share Minnie with the Slyths
GossipQueen: M I N N I E
Muffin #1: No
Muffin #2: Yes
Muffin #1: … yes?
Muffin #2: Yes.
Muffin #1: …. Yes.
Fuckoffimreading: it’s decided
Spiderhuman: THEO
GossipQueen: thEO you ARE ALIVE
ExcuseYOU: m y c h i l d
BlondBitch: *deep inhale* BOI
Fuckoffimreading: y’all can fuk off
Fuckoffimreading: every time I go to the library u pull this shit
Tiredofyourshit: is Nott the son of Malfoy and Greengrass?
ExcuseYOU: yes
CannonBALLS: why tho
BlondBitch: because fuck Nott Sr.
Spiderhuman: fuck Nott Sr.
GossipQueen: fuck Nott Sr.
ExcuseYOU: fuck Nott Sr.
Muffin #2: fuck Nott Sr.
Muffin #1: fuck Nott Sr..
AngryCat: fuck Nott Sr.
Thefirstone: understandable
Thefirstone: also @AngryCat is that a mix of Angry Bird and Grumpy Cat????
AngryCat: yes
Tiredofyourshit: mood
ILivedBitch: big mood
BlondBitch: quick question @thefirstone wtf is a fir stone
BlondBitch: like did you want it to say fire stone???
Thefirstone: …. No …..
Stardust: her username is the first one
BlondBitch: that makes significantly more sense
GossipQueen: why first one tho
Thefirstone: bc I’m the older twin
Thefirstone: and my one purpose in life is to remind padma of this
ExcuseYOU: petty
ExcuseYOU: I like it
ILivedBitch: why is Malfoy so much more nice in this chat than irl
BlondBitch: ‘more nice’ Potter you are truly embracing the stupid at this point
BlondBitch: also I don’t have to see your ugly hair so…. improvement
Tiredofyourshit: Harry was thinking of growing it long actually
BlondBitch: ….
BlondBitch: bye
BlondBitch has left the chat
ILivedBitch: wow
ILivedBitch: surely it wouldn’t look THAT bad
Spiderhuman: what did y’all do to Draco he’s screaming in his pillow again
GossipQueen: whose fault do you think it is
Spiderhuman: point
Spiderhuman: @ILivedBitch what did u do
ILivedBitch: wHY ME
Fuckoffimreading: whith Draco it’s always you
IfFoundReturnToDean: all that reading and you still can’t write
Fuckoffimreading: r u d e
Fuckoffimreading added BlondBitch to the chat
Fuckoffimreading: mom they’re bullying me
BlondBitch: I
BlondBitch: will kill a bitch
ExcuseYOU: draco no
Spiderhuman: draco y e s
Spiderhuman: avenge your sweet demi son
CannonBALLS: I am CONFUSED
CannonBALLS: why is Malfoy the mom???
GossipQueen: because it’s true
ExcuseYOU: bc Draco is a Big. Gay. Mood
Tiredofthisshit: this chat is a mess™
Stardust: what kind though
Thefirstone: a gay one
Stardust: that’s fair
GossipQueen: just wanna say that long hair would look great on @ILivedBitch
ILivedBitch: I can’t sense sarcasm through these messages, so I will cautiously thank you
GossipQueen: dw sarcasm is cancelled for tonight
Spiderhuman: did u just say I’m cancelled
Knockyourwood: sweet circe what the fuck
Knockyourwood: I’m minding my own business in the greenhouse like the good fucking person I am
Knockyourwood: with no reception
Knockyourwood: and I get back here and my cell phone turns into a goddamn vibrator
ExcuseYOU: sakbdasdalsbfd
Spiderhuman: I have descended into heaven
Spiderhuman: heaven is as gay as I hoped it was
Tiredofyourshit: THIS CHAT WAS A MISTAKE
Tiredofyourshit: YOU ARE ALL CANCELLED