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Outtakes: Behind the Memes

Summary:

CannonBALLS: mum will flip out
PercyWeasleyUSM: second that
FightorFight: she’ll be so mad
FightorFight: do it

Notes:

I promised a sequel, didn't I??
Look at me, delivering so quickly! :D
(don't get used to that)

SO, many people asked for other characters to show up as well (for example Ginny and the Puffs/Claws), and here they are. Of course many of the characters of my first fic will appear as well.

Timeline wise, some of the things in this first chapter reference things which happened in the first fic, so make sure to read that one first! This is a really short chapter, but it covers quite a lot of the first fic because these are more snapshots of conversations which happen over a longer period of time.

As always: if you want to try and guess the usernames, read the chapter directly. If you'd rather have the guide, there's one in the end notes.

Happy reading ;D

Chapter 1: Newsflash: Weasleys Have Red Hair

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Puffs And Claws Group chat

Toniiiiiiii: anyone has the notes for the last transfig lesson?

Bert: aren’t you claws supposed to have all the notes???

Toniiiiiiii: nah we’re busy with another project

Toniiiiiiii: it’s about trying to increase the strength of a spell with pepper up

Hanni: that sounds like it will end with something exploding

TheSmarterOne: you think so?

TheSmarterOne: that would be fascinating

Bones: you can have my notes

Toniiiiiiii: a LIFESAVER

Bones: you’re welcome

Bones: can I see the explosion?

 

 

Direct message from FightorFight to Luna

FightorFight: Luna, what do your Seer-eyes see?

Luna: Draco is going to snap exactly three days after Christmas and kiss Harry in the Great Hall

FightorFight: Thank you, oh wise one, for sharing your wisdom with me

Luna: You’re welcome :)

 

 

Direct message from Tiredofyourshit to CatsDoItBetter

Tiredofyourshit: hello professor

Tiredofyourshit: as you are aware, the winter holidays are approaching

Tiredofyourshit: this means NEWTS are only one and a half years away

Tiredofyourshit: I am sure you can see how urgently us students need to start studying

Tiredofyourshit: I already made a study plan, but I wanted to ask if you can give me any pointers on which topics in transfiguration will be most relevant

CatsDoItBetter: Miss Granger

CatsDoItBetter: couldn’t you have waited until AFTER the winter holidays

Tiredofyourshit: I am aware that I might be a bit early, but…

CatsDoItBetter: oh no it’s just I betted on just after the holidays

CatsDoItBetter: severus will be so smug that he won

Tiredofyourshit: … sorry?

CatsDoItBetter: just come to my office after lunch, miss granger

Tiredofyourshit: yes thank you, professor

 

 

TIRED™ Group chat

CatsDoItBetter; severus won

GringGods: not AGAIN

Plant-Mom: how does he always know??

TheNight: I’m just that good

CatsDoItBetter: @TheNight I’m so… wait for it …. tired of your shit

GringGods: ohhhhhhhhhhhh

GringGods: nice

Cassandra: oh severus, btw, I can see a major disturbance in young harry’s life coming very soon

TheNight: no

Cassandra: don’t you want to know what it is?

TheNight: don’t you want to continue teaching

TheNight: stop scaring my not-yet-adopted-son u discounted fruit fly

Horrorscope: hey yes so ignoring all that

Horrorscope: we need a new bet. Any suggestions?

Plant-Mom: yes

Plant-Mom: “how long will it take for the 6yrs Puffs/Claws to kick out Mr. Smith out of the group chat”

GringGods: second

CatsDoItBetter: can we give negative bets

CatsDoItBetter: because I believe it already happened at least once

Plant-Mom: …

Plant-Mom: “how long will it take for the 6yrs Puffs/Claws to kick out Mr. Smith out of the group chat AGAIN”

 

 

Redheads And Harry Group chat

Will.I.Am: guys and sis, I need your opinion

Feorge: well I can definitely tell you know that you’ll regret asking us

Gred: how can we help you, dear brother

CannonBALLS: wait aren’t we missing someone

DragonsThough: perce escaped again

CannonBALLS: knew it

CannonBALLS added PercyWeasleyUSM to the chat

PercyWeasleyUSM: why

Gred: hello dear unsurprisingly stuffy meringue

Feorge: greetings, oh undeniably smartass-y motherhen

PercyWeasleyUSM: it’s UnderSecretary to the Minister and you know it

PercyWeasleyUSM: and smartass-y isn’t even a word

ILivedBitch: gasp

ILivedBitch: you said a bad word

PercyWeasleyUSM: your username literally has the word bitch in it, Harry

PercyWeasleyUSM: why am I here

FightorFight: bill needs our opinion

PercyWeasleyUSM: don’t do it

Will.I.Am: Excuse you im one of the responsible ones

Will.I.Am: there’s only two us against seven of them

CannonBALLS: I think u mean six

Will.I.Am: Harry counts twice

ILivedBitch: RUDE

ILivedBitch: I mean its true but u shouldn’t say it

FightorFight: can u guys get to the point, some of us actually have a life

DragonsThough: u don’t have a life, don’t lie

FightorFight: ?????

FightorFight: A Girlfriend = Life

FightorFight: your point???

Will.I.Am: OKAY

Will.I.Am: my question is this:

Will.I.Am: how angry will mum be if I dye my hair red??

Gred: …

Feorge: Bill, I don’t know how to tell you this

Gred: I know its difficult

Feorge: and apparently it will come as a surprise

Gred: but we all already have red hair

Feorge: well, except harry, that is

Gred: but that’s okay he’s still valid his mum was a redhead

Will.I.Am: I mean dark red u dumbasses

CannonBALLS: mum will flip out

PercyWeasleyUSM: second that

FightorFight: she’ll be so mad

FightorFight: do it

Will.I.Am: fleur thinks it would look great

CannonBALLS: well if F L E U R thinks so

Will.I.Am: harry, what do you think?

CannonBALLS: he’s busy right now

CannonBALLS: draco walked by and smiled at him, and now harry is daydreaming about growing some balls and asking him out

CannonBALLS: useless

DragonsThough: any hope that his relationship status will change soon?

FightorFight: insiders say it might just change soon ;-)

 

 

The Burrow Group chat

CannonBALLS posted a picture to the chat

CannonBALLS: is that allowed?????

MrsW: Oh my.

MrsW: In the middle of the Great Hall, really.

MrW: the lads look happy. good for them.

MrsW: Do you think Draco would prefer a blue or a green jumper???

MrsW: Yule might be already over, but it’s never too late for presents.

CannonBALLS: mione says green

MrW: because of slytherin?

CannonBALLS: nah

CannonBALLS: because harry will end up stealing it and green looks good on him

 

 

Direct message from FightorFight to Luna

FightorFight: BETRAYED

FightorFight: BY MY OWN GIRLFRIEND

Luna: I only said he would snap, I didn’t say it was because Harry had already asked him out and he wanted everyone to know

FightorFight: I really wanted to win that bet :(

Luna: :)

FightorFight: …

FightorFight: you won the bet, didn’t you

Luna: I might have

FightorFight: this betrayal cuts deeper and deeper with every second

Luna: I’m going to take you out on an amazing date with the money I won

FightorFight: …

FightorFight: forgiven

FightorFight: now can we talk about how much of a loser harry is for asking out Draco over wiz-chat???

Luna: Ginny, you asked me out over wiz-chat

FightorFight: yes, well, I never claimed to not be a loser, did I???

 

 

Puffs And Claws Group chat

Smith: Ok, seriously, who spread the rumours about the orgies again??

Smith: this is serious, guys, my mum wrote me a letter

Smith: we are direct descendants of Helga Hufflepuff, I can’t dirty our name like this

Hanni: Smith

Smith: Yes?

Hanni: you can tell your mum that we wouldn’t invite you to an orgy anyway, so your name is safe and pure

Smith: …. am I supposed to be offended?

Smith: WAIT

Smith: does that mean there ARE orgies?????

Smith: I CAN SEE THAT YOU GUYS ARE ONLINE

Hanni: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Notes:

User name guide:
 

MrsW – Mrs. Weasley
MrW – Mr. Weasley
Will.I.Am – Bill W.
DragonsThough – Charlie W.
PercyWeasleyUSM – Percy W.
Gred/Feorge – either Fred or George, they switch user names about every second week
CannonBALLS – Ron W.
FightorFight – Ginny W.

ILivedBitch – Harry Potter
Fuckoffimreading – Theo Snape
TheMoon – Remus
TheStars – Sirius
TheNight – Severus

Toniiiiiiii – Anthony Goldstein
Bert – Ernie Macmillan
TheSmarterOne – Padma Patil
Hanni – Hannah Abbott
Bones – Susan Bones
Smith – Zacharias Smith

Luna – Luna
Tiredofyourshit - Hermione

CatsDoItBetter - Minnie
GringGods - Flitwick
Plant-Mom - Sprout
Cassandra - Trelawny
Horrorscopes - Sinistra

 

Luna doesn’t understand the concept of using something else than your name as your chatname.
Padma believes her chatname proves that she’s indeed the smarter one because she capitalized the first letter of each word.

I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of any orgies.

 

SO! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! :D

The next chapter should be online next Wed. (5th June 2019) in the evening (German time).

In the meantime, I would love you forever for any kudos and comments you want to leave here. You can also yell at me on tumblr

See ya
Sky